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LIZ HEATHER

July 7, 2020

June Jaunts 2020

by Liz Heather in Beauty, Best of NYC, Drinks, Family, Food, Ideas, Links, Movies, Personal, Products, Recipes, Television


Outside the New York Public Library

Outside the New York Public Library

Can someone just hit me in the face hard enough so that I wake up in 2021? As a favour to me? (Also I love that we’re all assuming that a new year means a completely fresh new slate and that none of the actions taken this year will affect the rest of our lives? It’s ridiculous, but it’s a type of logic that I can absolutely get on board with.) In any case, life is hell right now. Here’s what went on in hell this month.

  • I found a new streaming site for movies that is incredible.

  • My brother Gary made another gravy video (this time a Swiss Chalet one) and of course it’s perfect.

  • My Dad turned 97!

View this post on Instagram

Happy 97th Birthday to my dad, the one & only ♥️

A post shared by Liz Heather (@lizheather) on Jun 5, 2020 at 1:46pm PDT

  • I started doing Ipsy bag reviews again. The best find from the bag this month: a REALHER lipstick. Just amazing quality and I need to look further into their other products.

  • I watched Get Me Roger Stone and the man seems like a needy psychopath.

  • I rewatched The Disaster Artist: still great.

  • I tried hard seltzer (not White Claw, it was a brand called HOOT) and it was very okay, I just don’t see the big deal? I think we all have low standards for things being good.

  • God, I miss Jon Stewart. I find myself just watching old segments from his show which are sadly still incredibly relevant.

  • I visited this coffee shop in Astoria called Coffee + Cake that’s so lovely. They make freshly baked goods each day and homemade ice cream and I’ll definitely return. This is their tomato & parmesan focaccia bread.

I tried to eat the black stem for some reason too?? Not my smartest idea.

  • I started taking antihistamine eye drops for seasonal allergies and they’ve cured me completely. It’s insane. I love them.

  • I tried birthday cake Kit Kats because why wouldn’t I and of course they’re good. But they’re basically just… white Kit Kats… and that’s already a thing that exists… and look I’m not trying to hate on them, so I’ll keep my mouth shut about it from here on out.

  • If I became famous, the first thing I’d endorse would be Vicks (obviously), but the second thing? This dairy-free, almond milk yogurt DAH! Yes, the name is terrible. But the yogurt is heavenly. The madagascar vanilla will change you.

  • Finally made this ricotta jam jar with crostini and it was everything I wanted it to be and more.

  • I’ve been keeping a collection of photos taken of the city throughout the pandemic that are just gorgeous photos, here are a few.

April 2020, photo by Jerome Strauss

March 12th, 2020, the first night of Broadway going dark - photo by Gretchen Robinette for Gothamist

June 2020, photo by Benjamin Norman for The New York Times

April 2020, photo by Jerome Strauss

April 2020, photo by Jerome Strauss

  • I watched the Holy Chicken! documentary from the Super Size Me guy and it was okay. I did know a lot of those chicken facts already since we haven’t been eating meat these last few months, so it wasn’t anything revolutionary. And then after I watched it, I was reading about it and then came across all the gross behavior by the creator of the film and uggghhhh I wish I hadn’t watched and supported it now.

  • I tried this New Orleans cold brew and whoa. Good stuff. I don’t exactly know the difference between cold brew and coffee and it’s such a boring thing to look up, so… here we are.

  • Will forever love the food at The Thirsty Koala in Astoria. Thank you Katie, Greg & Irene for gifting us so much of their food this month! Truly so sweet of you.

  • Favourite tweets of the month.

They criminalize the homeless so that they don’t have to house them. They criminalize drug addicts so that they don’t have to address substance abuse as a public health problem. They criminalize the poor so that they don’t have to address wealth inequality.

— antifa’s bus driver (@Lwrathofkhan) June 6, 2020

Nothing more insulting than your dog walking into the room you're in, looking around and then leaving.

— Craig Brown (@Crugland) June 8, 2020

White people have no problem pronouncing Daenerys Targaryen but start stuttering when tryna pronounce Ahmed

— amna (@amnaaxs) June 8, 2020

Me, a fat person, breathes.

Everyone: You are so brave and courageous! I wish I could be as confident as you are.

Me: pic.twitter.com/Fg29VGDO8i

— Evette Dionne (@freeblackgirl) June 11, 2020

yesterday i told my therapist that i feel terrible and i don’t know why and she laughed and said “you don’t know WHY???”

— Scaachi (@Scaachi) June 5, 2020

My 7 year old can't believe that police don't go to law school. "Their whole job is the law, that doesn't make sense." No shit kid, go to bed.

— Edgar Blackmon (@edgarblackmon) June 11, 2020

Do u ever mention someone in ur prayers then u feel bad for not mentioning other people then suddenly ur including the whole population

— ُ (@fmlbruv) April 14, 2020

It’s weird how “daddy issues” became an insult to women when it’s men who fail as fathers.

— 🧚🏼‍♀️ (@DeeRosee_) June 15, 2020

I hate that good news, lately, has felt like a trap.

— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) June 15, 2020

ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ Me when I send mail

ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ Me when I get mail back

— U.S. Postal Service (@USPS) June 16, 2020

It's the simple things that can make one's day! ☺️ pic.twitter.com/xsBx1dPUiq

— Mojo Crowe (@MojoCrowe) June 15, 2020

few things as sickening men obsessed with the idea of “legal adults”

— nikki “cute trash” black (@nikkiblackcat) June 17, 2020

You think I care about losing followers? Buddy in my day we wrote a 3 paragraph blog post to NOBODY and we freakin loved it

— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) June 17, 2020

do you know how common it is for women to genuinely be terrified to reject a man just incase he reacts a certain way?

— women stan account. (@jxssica_c) June 16, 2020

Took my husband grocery shopping.
We got home, took off our masks, and darn it I brought home the wrong husband.
Be careful ladies.

— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) June 19, 2020

can we pls start valuing good people over ambitious people

— cassie cao (@thecassiecao) June 20, 2020

How great would it be if the entire NFL kneeled this season. And they just kept kneeling. And also didn’t play football. Watching sports is boring.

— Kase Raso (@KaseRaso) June 13, 2020

The US has tried to get rid of covid the way I try to get abs - I try really hard for a couple months then I get annoyed that it’s taking so long and decide abs aren’t real.

— Taylor Tomlinson (@taylortomlinson) June 12, 2020

“Defunding the police is too extreme” We make little kids do pyramid scheme fundraisers to keep their schools open lmao

— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) June 20, 2020

would anyone care for some free serotonin pic.twitter.com/oekWgZJwdr

— rae paoletta🍍 (@PAYOLETTER) June 20, 2020

Remember when Pizza Hut pan pizzas were basically a goddamn culinary delicacy? They’d bring them out in a real fucking skillet that was piping at about 700 degrees Fahrenheit right as your third song kicked in on the jukebox after you’d played a game of Galaga. We were kings. pic.twitter.com/G7dQBRd3qQ

— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) June 20, 2020

i know you all think your dads are the best but when my dad moved to the US he literally named himself Kenny Chee bc he loves Kenny G 💖😂

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 21, 2020

How old were you when you found the bottom drawer is for keeping foods warm and not for pans, like I have? pic.twitter.com/9QNDfCF3zW

— Strudel_licious👩‍⚕️🇵🇷🤓🌊💉 (@OyeKaren17) January 6, 2020

UH OH it is becoming increasingly difficult for my wife and I to trade off who gets to be the “sad one” at any given moment

— averymonsen (@averymonsen) June 22, 2020

I just saw a TURTLE run from 12 .. I’m crying https://t.co/1cz4uCCSgf

— HIM HARBAUGH 〽️ (@Noahh_GH) June 22, 2020

2020 is what 2012 tried so hard to be

— Ali San 🪐 (@TheSanPlanet) April 25, 2020

I told my sister I was going through it and she said “well go around it”

— kt ϟ (@itsktle) April 20, 2020

Imagine someone u love is fast asleep in bed after a long day of working to help others. Imagine that while she is asleep armed strangers break down her door & shoot her in her bed 8 times. If this was ur daughter or sister, u would want justice. #BreonnaTalyor deserves the same.

— Josh Gad (@joshgad) June 23, 2020

Youre not alive just to work, pay bills, and lose weight.

— please stop calling me queen (@NikkiCallowayy) June 23, 2020

He said “ BITCH RIHANNA TOUCHIN ME” https://t.co/uxHyzIcskk

— ℳ𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓃 (@iamshyana) June 23, 2020

anybody wanna get married for 30 years, travel the world, start a family, and fall in love as a joke lol just like be joking the whole time haha

— nope (@LilNasX) June 24, 2020

not everyone who has been sexually assaulted immediately recognizes that is what happened to them. it can take days or weeks or even years for someone to realize what happened to them was not okay. believe victims rather than questioning why it took so long for them to speak up.

— kayla (@baz00per) June 23, 2020

Is it “cancel culture” or is it just repercussions

— BLM | andrew kimler (@AndyKimy) June 25, 2020

My conspiracy theory is that time travel IS real & someone keeps trying to fix 2020 by changing something but every time they do, they unwittingly make it worse. How else do you explain the sudden disappearance of murder hornets? They saved us from those but at what cost?!?!

— Chantal KC (@NSLCpunk) June 24, 2020

I wish every woman was a comedian. Women are casually so fucking funny

— Kelsey Caine (@kelsey_caine) June 27, 2020

The word "muse" was invented to not pay women for ideas right?

— Hana Michels (@HanaMichels) June 25, 2020

me: i look good today
my body dysmorphia: you look like this pic.twitter.com/TipiGDhMXm

— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) June 25, 2020

me, sobbing: please stop, you can’t just call every single kind of dessert pudding
british person, pointing to a cake: pudding

— Will Kellogg (@Will_Kellogg) June 28, 2020

A subtle hint. pic.twitter.com/oHoXvfjC3N

— 🕹️Puggerz (@The_Puggerz) June 5, 2020

The way he looked at her when he heard his song was priceless 🥰😂 pic.twitter.com/705qBSGqHi

— 🇧🇧 (@rahm3sh) May 29, 2020

I’m beginning to think “hindsight is 2020” was some kind of message from a future time traveler that we all misunderstood.

— Victoria Guida (@vtg2) June 27, 2020

It’s mind-boggling to me that, due to the failures and incompetence of our leaders, we’re all effectively going to lose a year of our lives. At least.

— Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) June 30, 2020

sorry i didnt text back i dont care about anything anymore

— follow me if u sad (@gIocki) June 29, 2020
  • New favourite Health-Ade kombucha flavour: passion fruit - tangerine. Absolutely unreal.

  • I bought a ton of underwear from Aerie since I don’t feel comfortable going into any stores or on the subway yet, and they’re actually pretty great quality (I’m sorry I didn’t get on this sooner, Marla.) The sizing is a little off in that one medium doesn’t fit like another medium, but once you figure it out, you’re good.

  • This girl. She’s still breaking my heart with these renditions.

  • How do I set my Google Alerts so that these types of stories are the only news stories I read?

  • I learned how to make vodka martinis at home, so what I’m trying to say is that I’m better than you now.

  • Truly don’t know how I feel about this news, but I think I have to support it, right? I wish we could just leave good things alone. Why must we always want more.

  • I watched The Joy Luck Club and here’s my takeaway: don’t have daughters. And also maybe don’t have mothers? It seems like everyone is a disappointment to every character in this movie. I was expecting to love it, so when that didn’t happen I was a little disappointed.

  • I watched Dan In Real Life (mainly because of Steve Carell who was way too good for this movie) and it suuuuucked. Hated Dane Cook. Hated the plot. Hated the whole white, rich, we-dance-as-a-family type aesthetic of the whole movie.

  • I watched the first season of You and a few episodes of the second season and uuuuuuuggggghhhhhh what a garbage show. I don’t need to see anyone romanticize some pathetic Gossip Girl loser who I feel no empathy for. It’s actually just so badly written and how on earth did someone green-light this trash. Here’s a good piece written about it.

  • Also watched a bunch of reruns of 3rd Rock From The Sun and what an underrated, great show. Wish I remembered it more.

  • I’ve been on a real Harrison Ford bender lately and I can’t see it stopping anytime soon. I watched Sabrina (which was okay, the best part was seeing him play a nerdish, unlovable character). I also watched Working Girl (which is really not a great movie, but it was only watchable for Ford). Also saw Air Force One and what a movie. How on earth have I never seen it before?? Such a fox. If you haven’t seen it before, I shall entice you with this one line:

  • Rainier cherries are in season now and while I don’t particularly love a cherry, these are delightful.

  • I’ve been sucking down these Saratoga Springs sparkling waters for days and there’s no turning back, they’re refreshing in a way I didn’t think existed. Just pure magic.

  • The only summer salad that’s worth a damn is this panzanella salad, but make sure you add fresh mozzarella to it.

  • I never thought I liked biscotti until a friend recently made it, so maybe I’m just into chocolate biscotti?

  • What a great idea (below):

  • If you’d like to hear the birds in NYC right now, get on over here.

  • I started watching Insecure but couldn’t really get into it, maybe I’ll give it more of a chance, maybe not. I feel like if you’re not hooked into a show within three episodes, it’s not gonna happen.

  • I rewatched Clueless and it’s really just a perfect movie. I could quote every line in this movie at one point in my life and I think I might still be able to. Still looking to emulate this perfect outfit one day.

  • Cannot stop making this broccoli pasta with Banza and the Beyond Meat sausage.

  • Absolutely haunted by this moving front page of the Times.

  • I finished watching Fuller House and I’ll never know why I wanted to, it’s such a corny/actually-bad show and yet I still watched. Thankfully it’s over forever.

  • Incase you’re looking for an alternative site to Amazon for buying books: Bookshop.org

  • I haven’t read a book in what feels like forever, so I finally finished Glennon Doyle’s Untamed and wrote about it.

  • Excited to one day see the new LaGuardia.

  • I went over what I did from my spring list that I made in March.

  • I naively made a list of what I’d like to do this summer.

  • It’s been a harder month than normal and I found myself watching The Land Before Time and uncontrollably weeping onto my yoga mat (I like to watch movies in the background when I’m working out). A kind of cry that comes around every decade or so where you can’t really breathe and you’re blinded my tears and everything is too much to handle. I know it’s a sad movie, but I think it was the movie and the combination of this month that made me react that way. In any case, I hope kids today still want to watch that movie. It’s a hard one, but it’s really still so good.

  • My grandmother Ma passed away this month and since travel is not allowed, it was especially difficult for this to happen now. I felt helpless being separated from most of my family so I wrote a bit about how it made me feel. I could talk about the greatness of this woman endlessly, how it’s insane that you could live in this day and age and not read or write and still enrich the lives of everyone you know, there’s no way to sum her up as a person. I’ll just miss her. Her voice, her endless encouragement, all of it.

Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d like to not sink into an unending pit of depression (that’d be great), I’d like to keep going on our nightly walks with Nathan, I’m likely going to buy these bike shorts as soon as they’re back in stock and you can’t stop me (I already have an outfit in mind, trust me it’s gonna look good), I was looking forward to movie theatres reopening (the Regal near our house specifically) but the date’s been pushed again to the end of July (which will likely get pushed again), and I’d really like to start and finish another book this month.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in May over here.

TAGS: June, June Jaunts 2020, NYPL, streaming site for movies, Gary Heather, gravy at home, Swiss Chalet, Dad, best tweets, Ipsy, REALHER lipstick, Get Me Roger Stone, Dan In Real Life, Dane Cook, Steve Carell, The Disaster Artist, HOOT seltzer, Jon Stewart, Liz Heather, Astoria, Coffee + Cake, focaccia bread, antihistamine eye drops, birthday cake Kit Kats, candy, Vicks, DAH! yogurt, almond milk, dairy-free, ricotta jam jar, Jerome Strauss, Gretchen Robinette, NYC photos 2020, Benjamin Normal, NYT, Chinatown, Holy Chicken!, documentary, food documentary, New Orleans cold brew, The Thirsty Koala, Health-Ade kombucha, Aerie underwear, All of Me cover song, vodka martini, Hocus Pocus 2, The Joy Luck Club, You, Netflix, 3rd Rock From The Sun, Harrison Ford, Sabrina, Working Girl, Air Force One, great movies, rainier cherries, Saratoga Springs sparkling water, panzanella salad, chocolate biscotti, warm plate idea, pasta idea, birds in NYC, Insecure, Clueless, broccoli pasta, Fuller House, Amazon, Bookshop, Glennon Doyle, Untamed, LaGuardia airport, The Land Before Time, Ma


June 2, 2020

May Misery 2020

by Liz Heather in Ideas, Links, Movies, Personal, Products, Recipes, Reviews


How is it June? Imagine that this year is just a nightmare that we’re all simultaneously having? I should use this space to be uplifting, but hope is exhausting at the current moment. All I can tell you are the things that either brought me joy or displeasure from the last month. That’s all I can do at the moment. And that’s definitely a privilege right now, I understand. I feel helpless, hopeless and like nothing is going in the right direction. This is a terrible intro, so let’s just get into all the meaningless trash that I did last month.

  • My brother Gary made this great video on how to make KFC gravy and you might think I’m biased, but he’s just so fun to watch. Love it so much.

  • I rewatched two Alfred Hitchcock movies: Rope (still such a great motive, one of his best) and Rear Window (which is average as hell, the idea of the story is so much better than the execution of the movie). Also, it made me really laugh hearing Nathan say, “If you can’t kill your wife, whose wife CAN you kill?“

  • Are you aware that they’re still making new flavours of M&Ms? I tried the fudge brownie flavour and I gotta say, they just taste like regular ass M&Ms.

  • I had completely forgotten about this amazing ricotta toast (thank you, Marla) recipe that I loved from years ago. Everyone should make it. It sounds like such a boring recipe, but it’s incredible. Of course it’s from Ina.

  • A great article about apologizing.

  • We keep making these chickpea pitas and likely won’t stop.

  • Months ago I bought this white poncho on sale for basically nothing because I thought this was my year of travel. Yeah. Great purchase.

  • I watched the Michelle Obama documentary, Becoming, and it’s obviously inspiring and great. Love the woman.

  • I’ve mentioned before how walnuts in pesto are way tastier than pine nuts, right? Cheaper, too. In any case, I can’t stop making this walnut pesto.

  • I watched the first season of Awkwafina is Nora From Queens and it’s SUCH A GOOD SHOW. Every single character is great. Perfect show.

  • I made this banana cake again, mostly because of that damn frosting. Even if you’re just making a regular cake, you should do it with this coffee cream cheese frosting.

  • Every morning for the past few weeks, I’ve been making this iced coffee protein shake (below). It might be the only thing I look forward to at this point in time. (It tastes pretty similar to a Tim Horton’s Iced Capp, just less sugary.)

  • I only wear one perfume (Miracle by Lancome), but I’m almost completely out of it (and won’t repurchase anytime soon since these are not the times to be buying luxurious items) so I’ve been wearing Fresh Cream by Philosophy that I got as a gift last year and I kind of love it. It makes me smell like a cake.

  • I’m still making these halloumi hummus bowls for lunch, but I’ve amended the recipe slightly by adding chopped basil instead of oregano and slicing up the halloumi incredibly thin since I think it tastes better when it’s crispy and thin.

  • Some movies that I’ve rewatched: Dazed & Confused (a forever favourite, I love a movie where the plot happens over the course of one day), Crazy Rich Asians (still fantastic, although I truly hate the bride character or actress playing her, I can’t decide), I Know What You Did Last Summer (still holds up, solid movie), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (not a great sequel at ALL, but I do love the idea of a killer on vacation), and Back To The Future (this might be the perfect movie, the script is amazing, everything is so fun, the music is epic, I also love the fact that the writers Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale will never allow a remake or reboot during their lifetimes).

  • I got this cropped sweatshirt from Nordstrom that I wear approximately six days a week.

  • In love with this new Jackbox game that I’ve been playing with my family on Sundays: Mad Verse City.

  • I walked to Manhattan from Queens and wrote about it.

  • The peony blossom candle from Trader Joe’s smells beautiful.

  • The Body Shop gives you a free product worth $10 on your birthday month, so I got their tea tree body wash and I love it. What the hell did I do before tea tree?

  • Just learned: grating garlic is so much tastier than chopping garlic. Thank you, Bon Appetit!

  • I made this kung pao cauliflower and it was good as a side dish but definitely not as a main. Cauliflower as a main dish will always be offensive to me.

  • I watched Stephen King’s Graveyard Shift and absolutely hated it. Terrible movie. What kind of accent is that guy supposed to have???

  • I bought a cuticle cutter since the nail salons are still closed and I figured how hard could it be to use? Turns out: very hard. No idea how to use it on myself or anyone else for that matter.

  • I have been making these kale quesadillas for lunch and they’re so tasty. I just use whatever cheese I have, basil and white wine vinegar instead of champagne vinegar. Also, I omit the corn because frozen corn is always trash. Super simple recipe, too.

  • I watched two episodes of the Epstein documentary on Netflix and had assault nightmares that night so I thought maybe I don’t need to finish all the episodes. I’m not including the link here for it because I truly don’t think anyone needs to see it.

  • My friend Dusty made this great short film.

  • I argued with Nathan at least twice this month on camera. (And about 400 times in real life? Again, no link for that.)

  • My six year old nephew is beyond adorable in this video about the lockdown.

  • I bought these Steve Madden sandals for $22 when they were on sale the other day and I had a gift card, and I’m in love.

  • Forgot how good these black bean muffins are. Such a nice little snack. Ignore the fact that they sound disgusting.

  • Excited to hear that Tuca & Bertie are coming back for another season! (Thank you Harmeet for turning me onto this great show!)

  • We’ve been eating the Beyond Meat hamburger patties and they’re phenomenal. We’ve been putting this McCormick gravy on top of them and and I’ll add these pickled red onions too and wow. Heavenly. Never would’ve thought I could be into a homemade pickled onion. Growth!

  • This is wild and slightly horrifying.

  • Super interesting piece about the NYPD.

  • Favourite tweets from the month:

i was so angry at everything when i was 13. and i was right

— common sad girl (@sadgirlkms) April 27, 2020

time passing is not an apology.

— tray🦋 (@traydominic) May 2, 2020

Can we normalize not having to be busy in order to be left alone.

— Dyymond W-Y (@DWHPP) May 4, 2020

i'm so sick of my female traits....caring, yearning....kill me

— Sarah Hagi (@geekylonglegs) May 5, 2020

when i lost over 100 lbs, everyone suddenly loved me. everyone thought i was gorgeous. everyone thought i was powerful. i can assure you being congratulated for weight loss just feels like your greatest fear confirmed. you have to be thin to be valuable to the world. it sucks.

— kendra (@kendramorous) May 6, 2020

"start your free trial" "enter your card info" https://t.co/AgMKPwlbpi

— Adamz 💯 (@Philz_adamz) May 9, 2020

so my grandma gifted these to her daughters for Mother’s Day 😂🥺 pic.twitter.com/VtEvOm1X1i

— 𝐦𝐞𝐥 (@_melcheyenne) May 11, 2020

Lmao why she still look like she wanna talk to the manager https://t.co/4AbeVOetgY

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 15, 2020

absolutely no one:
my dad doing virtual reality: pic.twitter.com/nkLmtEJlZj

— Ashley Madison (@ashleycacioppo) May 16, 2020

my Tia coming up to me at a family party trying to get me to dance with her https://t.co/rFf6LBfryh

— John💤 (@theytookmyinsta) May 17, 2020

Lil man said he was not gonna be left outta this TikTok😭🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/LXmAM3B7C3

— 🇧🇧 (@rahm3sh) May 17, 2020

I'm not wearing glasses anymore I seen enough

— Hoesncheetoes (@Hoesncheetoes) May 18, 2020

Y’all ever just be driving & you’re like..... yo was that light even green 😭😭😭

— toxic king (@777jorgeivan) May 5, 2020

Last night as I was putting my 3 year old to bed she looked deep into my eyes, lovingly stroked my face and whispered “are you garbage?”💀

— Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) May 21, 2020

remember when britney showed up to the VMAs looking like this and the world decided that this is the body of someone who "let herself go" ...... the apology this world owes all women my god pic.twitter.com/2B4xfywrje

— Anya Volz (@AnyaVolz) May 22, 2020

My mom said we should speak Thai in public so we don’t get targeted for speaking Mandarin and I think it’s so sweet that she’s nice enough to believe that these stupid fucking racists can differentiate between Asian languages

— James Tang (@jamesthetang) May 14, 2020

Every Guyanese girl gotta dye their hair blonde at least once as a rite of passage

— Tupac Chopra (@N_Kognito) May 25, 2020

I just aggressively removed two bottles of prosecco from our trolley, proclaiming crossly “Neither of us likes prosecco. It’s bloody horrible”

The gentleman moved away from me at speed. We had not met before. It was neither my trolley nor my husband.

— jo aaron lilford (@jolilford) December 30, 2019

What’s the worst typo in an email you spotted immediately after hitting send? I think mine has to be: “I appreciate that you’re very busty.”

— David M Barnett (@davidmbarnett) August 23, 2019

I figured out why Nova had an attitude during our photo shoot 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/kfwDQMI26p

— $arah 🥂 (@shh710) May 25, 2020

How is the computer gonna ask me if I am a robot? Bitch you're a robot

— Seth (@KingzNA) May 27, 2020

Your girl after reviewing the pics you took of her pic.twitter.com/yD8eqeT1EU

— Rayan (@Bellaboy23) May 25, 2020

The “your friendships are being tested rn, find out who your friends really are” crowd are demons actually. We’re in a pandemic, everyone is insane, we are all doing the best we can. Your relationships to others have to be elastic to survive. Calm tf down and stop keeping score

— arabelle sicardi (@arabellesicardi) May 18, 2020

Sometimes i sit and think about a simpler time... like, when the only thing you had to worry about was just a global pandemic

— greg stone blue check mark (@gregstone_) May 31, 2020

Funny how one bad protester labels the whole movement, but a few bad cops are never supposed to represent all cops. 🤔

— Trill Clinton (@aStatesman) May 31, 2020

Thank you for your Black Lives Matter graphic. May I please see a picture of your executive leadership team and company board?

— Brandi Riley (@BrandiJeter) June 2, 2020

Just a cute reminder that "unplugging" from the news cycle is privilege.

— Allana Reoch (@reochnroll) May 30, 2020

wait i forgot, are we under disease curfew or racism curfew

— Shaun Scott🌹🤝 (@eyesonthestorm) June 1, 2020

They’ll declare martial law instead of just not killing black people. Do y’all get it now?

— Britt Julious (@britticisms) June 2, 2020

Some things that I’d like to do this month: I promise that I will finally review the last two monthly Ipsy bags, I really want to make these salted thyme chocolate chip cookies, I want to make this midnight pasta that I heard about from Mindy Kaling, I want to read at least two books this month, I’m dying to make this ricotta jam jar, and I don’t know, maybe June won’t be a complete shitshow. Also, don’t forget about Father’s Day on the 21st. Just a reminder. If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in April over here.

And it’d be weird not to mention this at all right now, but there are so many awful and horrendous things going on, you know this. I completely support Black Lives Matter and it’s insane that there’s any kind of divide about whether you do or you don’t. It makes me sick that saying something as simple as “black people are human beings” could ever be considered complicated or political, but I guess here we are. I have no magical words to offer and I wish I did. I have no quote that’ll make everything make sense because nothing right now makes any sense. People are not being treated like human beings and it’s disgusting, it’s that simple. I don’t know what’s ahead of us, but for fuck’s sake I hope it’s better than where we’re at right now.

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