Brush Your Dog's Teeth, Please
Whoever is in charge of reading my eulogy, please include a nod to my impeccable oral hygiene. It's one of the few things I'm most proud of, thus far. If there's one, easy thing you can be taking care of in your life, it's your oral care. I'll never shut up about it. You know this already.
But what about your pets? Who's gonna take care of their teeth? You, bud. Please get on that already if you haven't. At least once a week is all they require it done, too. I'm pretty sure that's why dogs do things that piss owners off sometimes. They're acting out 'cause you're not brushing their teeth. We all love that minty after-breath! Don't deny them that right! And if you're thinking, "My dog hates it when I brush his/her teeth." Well, that's your fault, owner. Try this tip to start to get them into it.
Martha Stewart Living, April 2014 issue
How To Properly Cough
We all know this already, right? Apparently not. I counted literally over ten people today NOT adhering to these polices. Come on, people. We're adults. We should know better.
Secrets of White Teeth
If you’ve seen me in real life, have you wondered why I have such white teeth? It’s genetics.
(That’d be really funny if the post just ended there.)
Ignoring the fact that I compulsively like to talk about when I’m “being really funny”, the real answer is because of whitening toothpaste and mouthwash. Colgate Optic White, to be precise. The toothpaste and the mouthwash. Over the years, I’ve tried a bunch of different ones but, in my opinion, this one is the cheapest, the best tasting and the most effective. I was going to put a side by side photo comparison of my before teeth and after teeth, but then realized that I have been using this stuff so long that I only have after photos. I know, it’s a hard life.
Also, if you’re reading this and you’re a smoker? Wow. That’s cute. Stop smoking, dummy, and then you can benefit from my inadequate years of experience.
Mouthwash Tip of The Day:
Don’t pour a whole lot into your mouth when mouthwashing, that’s a waste. Just put, say, less than 1/4 of a cup (why am I using baking measurements? Sorry, but those are the only I know). Anyway, just pour a tiny bit in your mouth, but then swish it around like a madman for double the amount of time it says on the back label (usually about a minute). You’ll go through your mouthwash much slower than you regularly do, but with double the results.
I know this post sounds like a commercial. Frankly, someone should take these words, make it into a commercial somehow and pay me some money. It’s a great line of products.
Tee Tree Oil - The Body Shop
I am a grown-ass woman. And maybe I’m not supposed to still get blemishes or pimples at my age, but sometimes I do. Now if you’ve already stopped wanting to read this post ‘cause you’re a man and/or you never get pimples - get over yourself. Every idiot gets them at some point, you are no better. This tea tree oil from The Body Shop (it’s $9) is the only thing I use when it’s that before-a-zit stage that happens when you can feel a pimple’s presence but it hasn’t arrived yet. You just put some of this on wherever you feel it coming on (like once in the morning and once at night, for example) and I swear to you - it’ll completely disappear. I’ve been using this stuff for about two years and if you’ve seen me within that time - I’ve got a pretty all right face. Zit-wise, anyway.
Forewarning: I will be recommending more tea tree related products in future posts because, quite honestly, that junk is magic.