Mom Says

“Beware of the one whose eyebrows meet. In their heart there lies deceit.”

Jon Stewart Leaving The Daily Show

I've never been a crazy huge fan of the show, but I'm kind of excited to see what he'll want to do next. 

“I could spend the rest of my life turning my head to speak to her.”

— Don DeLillo, White Noise

Aveda Hand Relief Lotion

If you've ever kept hand cream in your purse, this is the one to buy. The main reasons?

1. It doesn't make your hands feel oily.
2. You only need to use a tiny drop of it each time you use it, so it lasts forever.
3. There is no smell. Absolutely no flowery shit here. Just a normal, nothing kind of smell. 

Is $10 too expensive for a 1.4 ounce bottle? I don't think it is. Especially considering the fact that cheaper brands last barely a month and feel oily as hell. 

Also, are you lotioning your hands right? I feel like you may not be. What I like to do is put a tiny drop on the top of each hand and then rub that in. Why do people always put the cream in their palms first? That makes no sense to me - your palms are not dry and never will be. You should be taking care of that wintery, withered, constantly-exposed hand skin, damnit.

Did You Know?

Am I over the age limit of people who follow this tumblr? 'Cause I really hope not. I'm still learning things!

Love

Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man By Tim Allen - A Review

I kind of knew that I probably wasn't going to enjoy this book after reading the first line on the first page, "This book is about many things I want to say about being a man." And I'm not saying that I wouldn't want to read any book starting with that line - but when it's written by a celebrity (in the mid 90s) who's had a successful show based on his thoughts on the gender divide... I should kind of know what I'm in for after hearing that opening statement. 

To be honest, I really can't think of why I wanted to buy/read this book in the first place. And I hate it when that happens. Maybe the "New York Times Bestseller" swayed me? Maybe 'cause he's a gorgeous man? I don't know. But I need to be choosier with the next book I read since I haven't really gotten off to a good start this year.

The only things I kind of smiled at were:

1. "In the end, women are not much different from golf. With both, the mystery is never revealed. Right when you think you've got it, you suddenly feel like a beginner."
2. When he talks about the different temperatures that men and women prefer their tub water to be at: "You could boil fish in a woman's bathwater. And by the time it turns lukewarm, she's out." 

But that's it! For the most part, there's a lot of "women love shoes and shopping" kind of talk that doesn't really go anywhere. But again, with that opening line - I should've seen it coming. All in all, it was a pretty disappointing book. Probably best to stick to the reruns of Home Improvement and skip this one altogether.

Martin Short on Howard Stern

This is pretty much the first full Howard Stern interview I've listened to and it's a really good one. Maybe it's because it's of how much I love Martin Short - but also? Howard Stern's questions and general ease as a host are great and so easy to listen to. I feel like he says all of the things that I'd actually want to hear the answers to (ie. the complete opposite of a sit-down late night talk show interview). Has Howard Stern always been this good? I feel like he's said some stupid things in the past and I'd written him off completely for some reason for a long time. Really can't remember why. In any case, they're both great in this interview.

I've heard snippets of his Jim Carrey interview from last year and that one sounded like a good one too, so I'll be listening to that one next. 

“Eyebrow tip: If you tweeze them yourself, you should do so after you take a hot shower and it’ll hurt less when you tweeze.”

Great