Lego Kwik-E-Mart

Normally, I wouldn't give a shit about new LEGO products. But this one, clearly, caught my eye. 

Here are just a few of its features;

• Opening rear walls
• A removable roof with secret vegetable garden 
• Dusty blue floors
• Refrigerated cases
• Crates of Powersauce bars
• Surveillance cameras
• Cans of Buzz Cola
• Frozen Jasper
• Hot dog oven
• Squishee machine and Squishees
• Rear storage closet with a rat, cheese and rat hole

Ummm, secret vegetable garden?! That's so great. I would build and showcase the hell out this in, like, my bedroom or something. Such a great idea. I feel like if they're capable of selling this, they're definitely willing to do Moe's Tavern or something at some point. 

Photo Credit: LEGO

Herb Freezer Tray

These can hold up to four different kinds of herbs and would be crazy helpful to own if you've ever found yourself throwing away old herbs that have gone bad in the fridge. There's a flat surface on each top so you can date it and label what's inside.

Broom Groomer

As SOON as this becomes available for purchase again, Imma be all over this. SO SMART/SO CLEAN.

Pasta Measuring Tool

Leftover pasta is usually always (but sometimes not) gross, can we agree on that? And I'm always making too much or too little of it since, well, I'll never fully understand things like ounces, grams and "serving sizes." I'm sorry, but they didn't any of this stuff in school like they should have. 

Solution? This guy. 

Photo Credit: Joseph Joseph

Why the hell am I only learning NOW that these exist? It's $10 and handy as hell to have in a kitchen. 

Milani Easy Brow Pencil

I refuse to ever stop giving eyebrow advice. REFUSE. And I'm aware that I've recommended numerous eyebrow products. But I think I've finally found one that's reasonably priced and actually good quality. Here's an example of what it looks like when used.

It's pretty weather proof and won't run on you in the rain or snow or anything - it'll even stay on and not smudge off if you decide to not take it off with the rest of your makeup at the end of a day. I've done that a few times. Goddam it, I just love having fuller eyebrows. Did you know that the number one facial cosmetic procedure among women in NYC this year was eyebrow restoration? So funny that that's a thing now. 

In any case, this Milani pencil is magic and you can get it at basically any CVS in New York. It ranges from $7 - $10, which is pretty decent, too. 

Aveda Hand Relief Lotion

If you've ever kept hand cream in your purse, this is the one to buy. The main reasons?

1. It doesn't make your hands feel oily.
2. You only need to use a tiny drop of it each time you use it, so it lasts forever.
3. There is no smell. Absolutely no flowery shit here. Just a normal, nothing kind of smell. 

Is $10 too expensive for a 1.4 ounce bottle? I don't think it is. Especially considering the fact that cheaper brands last barely a month and feel oily as hell. 

Also, are you lotioning your hands right? I feel like you may not be. What I like to do is put a tiny drop on the top of each hand and then rub that in. Why do people always put the cream in their palms first? That makes no sense to me - your palms are not dry and never will be. You should be taking care of that wintery, withered, constantly-exposed hand skin, damnit.

Rowing Machine

Ram & Row created this gorgeous piece of living room furniture that morphs into a rowing machine. It was designed by Patrick Saint-Martin and runs for - well, probably a ridiculous amount of money since they don't list a price. 

SUCH a great idea, however.

The Keep Your Distance Bug Vacuum

Not only does this device not need to be plugged in (or use batteries), but I'm pretty sure it KEEPS THE BUG ALIVE so you can dispose of him/her outside. 

Apparently it has some kind of suction power that holds the bug inside somewhere. In any case, I'm getting one because wow. 

Real Mistletoe at Trader Joe's

I've never understood why it's so hard to get your hands on real mistletoe in the month of December. A few years ago, I walked into a flower shop and asked for some and the guy's response was, "Sorry, this isn't 1943." Seriously! I laughed, but cried a little inside, too. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO FIND?!

You can imagine my delight when I saw that Trader Joe's packages and sells them for $2 a box. TWO DOLLARS A BOX! I wish I'd have found this out earlier 'cause then I would've bought a bundle and shipped them to all my people. Is there not a more romantic sight to be seen in your household than this hanging from above?!

View fullsize

My house!

Love, love, love it. Then again, you already know that I'm a big fan of any kind of mandatory romance. 

Scissortape

This is probably the handiest thing you can own in your home gift wrapping station. What's that? You don't have a home gift wrapping station? How embarrassing for you...

First things first, you should get on that. And if you're telling me that you don't wrap enough gifts to warrant a designated station - then you need to become a more giving person, maybe.

In any case, THESE SCISSORS ARE MY EVERYTHING.