Tournesol

I have a new favourite dish and that dish is bœuf bourguignon. If you know how to make this... maybe let me know. I just ate it for the first time at Tournesol in Long Island City in Queens (thanks to the lovely Angela for suggesting we go) and it was transcendent. I promise you. This place is extremely French, lovely and better than any place you frequent so GO RIGHT NOW. And you know how I knew this place would be good? Two reasons. 

1. The free bread at the beginning of the meal was fresh as hell.
2. They gave you BUTTER instead of olive oil with the bread. I can't stand it when olive oil is the only thing accompanying a bread basket. Hate this so much. I don't care how Parisian that is, give me some damn butter. And they do here. 

I can't wait to go again. This dish is phenomenal. 

(Sidenote: Don't forget about the Movie Wardrobe Sale happening tomorrow (Saturday) in Toronto!) 

Lessons of the Week

Here are some things that I learned this week:

1. You're not supposed to ever feed your dog grapes. Seriously, don't do it. I read that here, along with many other things that are bad for dogs in general. It can cause kidney failure or make them sick. Stop doing this! I don't care how cute it is to witness!
2. The best banana pudding in the world is in the West Village at Magnolia Bakery. (Fuck those cupcakes, go here for pudding!) Can't believe it took me this long to hear about it. Apparently everyone else already knows this. Eat it. Love it. Live it. (photo below)
3. Cooked prosciutto IS WAY TASTIER THAN RAW PROSCIUTTO. Why in the hell are people not eating it cooked always? It's eons better! It's like a less fatty, thinner, meatier-tasting bacon. And I love it. I've always tried to coerce myself into loving it raw and why? 'Cause I guess I'm a rube. Never again. Always gonna cook it now. 
4. Kale can actually be tasty. I've never believed this before (I'm talking years here), because, well, it's putrid and poorly cooked most of the time. But I had some of a wonderfully under-dressed kale caesar salad with bacon last night at Murray's Cheese Bar that was the definition of delightful. I should've been less shocked though since almost everything there is amazing. 

Do these seem more like recommendations and less like lessons to you? 'Cause you're wrong. You need to get on all of these things immediately.  

There are pieces of cake in it!

Kashi's Honey Sunshine

I love Kashi. Eating it makes me feel like I might be doing something right with my day. The Island Vanilla one is especially good. This new flavour, however, is god awful. Does not taste like honey nor sunshine. Trust me. Stay away.

Why Burger King's Satisfries Can Eat A Dick

I know you know that I love gravy - this is a fact. But without the existence of French fries, I would not be able to love gravy as much as I do. So I guess you could say that I love fries more than gravy. That being said, I think I have some valid opinions when it comes to these new "satisfries" - ugh, kill me for even typing that word-atrocity. (Sidenote: if you're judging me for loving fries? Well, that's enough of that. You probably love all kinds of trash that some would scoff at, so check the 'tude at the door. I know for a fact that some people will never respect fry-lovers, and that's cool, you're entitled to that opinion. But still, calm it down.)

Why These Fries Are A Dumb Idea

• I'm sorry, but only 30% less calories? What the hell? Not even a round number like 50%? Who the hell cares about eating something with 30% less of anything? THEY ARE STILL FRIES. 
• Idiotic name. Sounds like a joke name. 
• I am not of this opinion, but some people think Burger King's regular fries are the grossest of all the fast food places. In this case, why didn't Burger King just take their old ones off the menu and go to town with these? I would've at least understood that move. Plus, if BK suddenly really cares about my diet, why the fuck are you still offering me your old fatty, dirt fries? Get rid of them! It angers me to know that they want me in there, DECIDING between the two choices. That really makes me mad for some reason. Don't pander to me, Burger King. 
• It also enrages me to think that someone would order these and THEN FEEL GOOD & HEALTHIER ABOUT THEIR DECISION. These are still fucking French fries. You're still a piece of shit for ordering them. (I know this because I am this every now and again, and I am definitely a piece of garbage for ordering them, but at least I'm aware of this.)

People who love and/or eat fries should know that they're awful for you, always. On another note, this trend of making junk food healthy for you is usually just confusing. If you're changing the badness of a product, you have to change the complete name of what it is! For example, a vegetarian "pizza" with only cooked peppers and mushrooms, on a whole wheat tortilla, with NO cheese on it should no longer be considered a pizza. It has become some sort of unholy, vegetable-attacked type of bread. It can still be delicious like a pizza, but IT AIN'T ONE. Come up with a new name and call it that, 'cause that bitch ain't pizza.

This is a lot of complaining. What they really should have done was get rid of the old fries, introduce these news ones as their primary ones, tell you that they're trying to make people consume less fat and say, "Good day." They should've either done that or NOTHING AT ALL - just BE Burger King, the king of burgers, as you so indicate, and continue killing us all slowly. One or the other. Either one I'm totally cool with. But this? No. Just fucking no. Hate all of this. 'Cause if you're walking into any kind of fast food place, you're not getting something that's good for you. I don't care about any of their health conscious menus, it's all a ruse, you're in there? You're dying young. 

Boooooo, Burger King. Boo. 

The Urban Peasant

If you grew up in Canada in the nineties, please tell me that you remember this man. The Urban Peasant was a Canadian cooking show starring James Barber and it aired on CBC (and also aired in some states on TLC, I'm told). This was the first cooking show I'd ever seen (this was long before the Food Network) and I loved it dearly. Why? I don't know, maybe 'cause this man was GENTLE AS HELL! And so likable. And everything he made looked deLIGHTful.

I was thinking about him the other day when I saw a man on the street who looked exactly like him, so when I got home I Googled him and found his website. A ton of his recipes can be found there, as well as a DVD of some of the episodes. Can't believe that I forgot about this food pioneer. What a fine man.

(Also, that man on the street was not James Barber. The internet tells me he's quite dead.) 

Grimaldi's

Everyone has really specific opinions about good pizza in New York. I do have my own favourite place, but that's mostly because any place that has thick-cut pepperoni will always win my heart. Anyway, I finally went to Zagat's number one rated pizzeria over the weekend.

Why does Grimaldi's suck? Lots of reasons.  

• The pizza itself? Fucking average at best.  
• The wait time is long (and that would be fine if the pizza had the ability to blow your face off, but is does not). And the line is outdoors (which would be hell in the winter).
• The servers don't give any kind of fucks. 
• No liquor license. (In this day and age? Nope. Fuck off.)

Please do not waste your time and go here. Don't do it. I've heard way better things about Juliana's pizza (which is right next door, and is run by the original people behind Grimaldi's), so I'll make sure to try the pizza over there next time. Zagat's can eat it.

I still maintain that the best pizza in New York is at Patsy's (as well as Angelo's, different restaurants, owned by the same people, with the same menu). So if you're really looking for something good, then just go to either of those places. They don't look like much from the outside, but I've never taken someone there who's been disappointed. 

Breaking Bad Cupcakes

Come Sunday, I will be making these cupcakes. Crushed up bits of Jolly Rancher candies are used as the meth in this recipe - and honestly, that makes me a little nervous (aren't Jolly Ranchers, like, the hardest of all hard candy? How is that tasty?), so I might substitute those with crushed up blue M&Ms or blue sprinkles or even blue cotton candy. Nevertheless, such a good idea for a treat during the series finale. What else could you indulge in? Maybe some Dimple Pinch, if you're hardcore. 

Anyway, just a few ideas to spice up the finale. The show's been great and obviously it'll be missed. Also, did you happen to see RJ Mitte being a babe last month? Yikes. I'm pretty into it.

Murray's Cheese Bar in NYC

This place is nuts. Just nuts.  

Look at this mayhem!

THIS is what they let you do to your burger. THIS! What the hell? And I didn't even LEARN that little fact until just now - otherwise I, for sure, would've ordered it had I have known in advance. Cheese selections for the burger include Rarebit Cheddar Sauce, Three Cheese Fondue, Double Creme Brie, Fontina and Creamy Blue Cheese. Doing this to a burger is almost... sordid - and I love it. 

Buffalo Cheese Curds = Wisconsin Cheddar curds, Black River Blue Cheese dressing & celery

These are the babies we continuously kept ordering. Three separate times. They're outrageously good. We also ordered the Queso Fundido ("Mexico's answer to fondue: 3 melty goat cheeses with Chorizo, tomato, jalapeno & torilla chips"), which was much too small, but equally glorious. And finally I ordered some burrata, which was a little too salty for my liking - but also, I'm extremely biased because the best burrata I've had in North America is at The Smith, so few places compare.

Burrata aside, this place is fantastic. Just look at the menu. I swear the next time I go I'll be able to get past just ordering a million starters. 

Blue Cheese Lollipops

Sometimes I do things so that you don't have to. Let that be known here.

I’m quite sure there isn’t a cheese on this planet that I wouldn’t try. And among the top cheeses that I frequent – blue cheese ranks high. An opportunity presented itself recently where I was offered to sample this blue cheese lollipop. 

View fullsize

Does that sound gross? I didn’t think it did. And honestly, only the first and last licks were the most atrocious ones. The inbetween licks however? Actually not completely terrible. They really turned into and tasted like a normal piece of candy for the moments when you weren’t thinking that you were basically sucking on a piece of cheese.(Sidenote: have you ever sucked on a fantastic piece of cheese? Try it. You might be really into it.)

The biggest problem with this treat is the after-breath. I tried to convince my dear friend Jenn to taste one (if only to smell her breath afterward), but she insisted on passing. All she had to say was that I smelled horrid after tasting the ‘pop. And that was only after maybe five licks. I shudder to think what I would’ve smelled like if I’d devoured the whole thing. All in all, are these more gross than appetizing? For sure. Are they fun, though? Bigtime. (They would absolutely kill at a party.) And I'm sure there are some rubes out there who are gonna fake-love the hell out of these just because they're campy. Or possibly some real maniacs who actually enjoy them. Either way, good on you!

View fullsize

After the first taste

After holding the final lick inside for much too long

I also tried their Absinthe flavoured lollipop and was disappointed, since it only tasted like black licorice. I understand that Absinthe does have that flavour, but was saddened at it not having any sort of alcoholic element. If you’re gonna have an Absinthe-flavoured ANYthing, then there needs to be alcohol involved. (Can you even get liquor into a candied treat? I think you can. Though my only example would be rum balls and rum balls are just filth.)

They’re available online at Lollyphile and they cost $10 for four of them.

The Lobster Poutine at Rock Lobster in Toronto

If fries, lobster and/or gravy are any of your favourite foods - put this in your belly immediately. PUT IT. That's all that needs to be said here. (The cocktails at Rock Lobster are wildly good as well.) It has a lobster bisque gravy, Quebec cheese curds (the good kind), fresh lobster and chives. It's obviously delicious and a front runner for one of Toronto's best poutines. It was $13 and worth every curd.

There are two locations in Toronto, go to one of them and better your life.