Tip - How To Cure Frostbite Fast

If you ever find yourself:

• freezing to death
• frost bitten
• having one extremity very, very cold

…then what should you do? Let me tell you. Put whatever area is suffering under a woman’s breast because that’s the warmest place on a human body. The larger the breast the better.

Learned that in Girl Guides. Totally works too. Not 100% positive about the “larger breasts work better” part, but that just seems to make sense in my mind. One winter, this girl fell in a lake and our leader totally used this method and the girl was warm again almost instantaneously. Like, weirdly fast. Heated her right up. 

Patterned Paint Roller

“This is the applicator to use on walls with our patterned paint rollers to create a wallpaper look.”

Ummm, amazing. And sounds ridiculously hard to do right, but amazing nonetheless. 

Available for purchase here. 

This back cover of a Smashing Pumpkins album will forever stand as the only tattoo I would ever want to get. Where would I want it? Full back. Like, full back. Of course it’ll never happen, since I don’t think I’d want it there for life. But if it’s ever possible to make your own fake tattoos, then this will be my pièce de résistance for approximately one week or so (or, you know, however long fake ones last).

Love, love, love this image so much.  

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”

— Katherine Hepburn

Ban Toddlers From Any Screens, Please (link) →

I read this a few months ago and started sending it to all my friends with kids or those who were about to have kids - why? I don’t know, ‘cause when I see a baby staring at an iPad IT FREAKS ME THE HELL OUT, for some reason. It just shouldn’t… be. And it makes no sense whatsoever. I don’t care if there are games specifically AIMED at these children, no. Just no. Give them a fucking rattle or something. PLEASE. 

“I will always silently and secretly laugh at all women over the age of 18 who wear bras with clear plastic straps. Don’t do it. Clear does not mean invisible. We can all see the straps. You look foolish.”

— #lizadvice

How to Prevent Thigh Chafing & Foot Blistering

With the summer coming up (it’s barely spring, I know, calm down), there are many things that you need to prepare for. Not sure who this post is aimed at, but you might appreciate it if you’ve ever:

• Had a blister on your toe and/or heel because of a certain kind of shoe
• Had thighs that touch each other when you walk, whether it’s due to you having normal, human-sized thighs OR whether you wear really tight skirts and it forces your thighs to meet
• Experienced chafed thighs from running

And I do not intend for this to only be read by women. Most men I know do nothing or very little to try and prevent blisters - why is this? No idea. It’s weird. Take care of that stuff, everyone. 

Anyway, the solution to all of these problems? Rub deodorant on the area that’s being a bitch, ie. directly onto the area of where you would presume you would get a blister (because of ill-fitting shoes you own or because in the past you’ve noticed getting blisters after wearing certain shoes) or directly on the areas where your thighs touch. It will solve the problem. 

It has something to do with the ingredients in deodorant that makes this work - something about the slipperiness of it, if you want me to get technical. 

I’ve tried this before (all of last summer) and it felt wonderful to not have that be a constant issue. Oh! And one more thing, if you try this and decide that it’s working for you as well, it’s really good to invest in one of those travel-sized deodorants to have in your purse/bag. Why? Well, things get sweaty in the summer and sometimes you need to re-apply midway through your day. Kinda gross, but just being real with you.  

Tip - Colour Co-Ordinate Your Closet

The above photo is the current state of my closet today. If that doesn’t look marvelous to you, then don’t read on ‘cause you won’t care about any of what I’m going to say.

Colour coordination is wonderful. I only recently colour co-ordinated my closet and it has helped my daily life immensely. It saves me so much time when I’m trying to figure out what to wear, and it forces me to somehow have a cleaner room, if that makes any sense. Also, when you’re looking for something specific that you have in mind, you’ll find it way quicker if you’re using this method.

Also? Get a hanger for each individual item. Don’t pile on more than two or three or, God forbid, even four items of clothing onto one lone, pathetic little hanger. It’s depressing to do such things, especially when you can afford another goddam hanger. (And if you can’t? Whoa. Stop reading now and fix your life so that you can afford at least one hanger.) Plus, by doing this, you can always see what you have. I have a million things I never used to wear because I COULDN’T SEE THEM. And now? No more. I’m wearing all kinds of shit I’ve never worn in years and it’s fantastic. Also, invest in those hangers specifically made for skirts/pants. They’re wonderful. You are not better than them, they are better than you. And you feel like a full fledged adult when you have all this stuff taken care of.

Also, if you have those hangers that are slippery - put rubber bands around the ends of both sides so that if you have a dress or something silk hanging on it, the straps won’t slip right off. Like this. (This idea I got from the site Real Simple.)

Bag Saver Idea

I read about this idea on Real Simple’s website, which I love. 

Obviously, this is a good idea for all kind of bags that you put in your fridge, but especially for chips. Chip saver idea number two: always store them in the refrigerator. Something about being in the cold makes them last longer and stay crispier/fresher for longer. And honestly, there’s just something I love about a chilled potato chip. You’ll see. 

Birthday!

(I’m putting this up now at 10am, since my Oz post was so delayed. Balance!) 

Okay, this is just an advice post. A Liz Advice piece, if you will. Why am I doing this? Well, because it’s my birthday. I’ve been on this planet for twenty-eight years now and I like to think that I’ve learned some things. I, in no way, know it all. Duh. I’m not Beyonce. (Yet.) But here are a few things I’ve learned thus far…

Things You Should Do

• Save emails that have compliments about you in them. They’ll make you feel nicer at times when you’re in low places.
• Mail things. Everyone will always love mail. In the history of time, no one has ever angrily said, “Ah, God. Mail?!” 
• Try to attain soft elbows. Someone’s gonna be touching them at some point. Make sure they’re up to par.
• Talk to your parents/parent a lot or more than a fair amount. They’re gonna say insightful things sometimes. A lot of it will be mediocre at best, but it’s best not to be a dick to humans who brought you here, dummy. 
• Take at least two vacations a year. Even if they’re only to places as far as the next city over. Everyone is in a better mood on vacation.
• If/when you have nieces/nephews, be as present in their lives as you possibly can. It’s important for everyone involved. 
• See an ophthalmologist at least once a year, every year. Eyes are just as important as teeth and no one ever talks about that fact. Just go.
• See a dentist twice a year. Not as important as the eye guy, but still up there.
• Hold grudges. Or rather, don’t be afraid to hold grudges. Sometimes people are just dirt and it’s good to remember that and not give them too much of yourself. 
• Retweet.

Things You Shouldn’t Do

• Obsess about your weight/body. No one cares. It’s boring to hear and talk about. Spare us all.
• Be alone when you are sick. Call someone over. It helps your state of mind times a million. Having someone to complain to heals an illness 50% quicker, I’d imagine.
• Eat fast food more than once a week. Are you simple? Don’t do that. You’re better than that.
• Be weird about hugging.
• Point and laugh at someone. Even as a joke. I really can’t stand this. Too mean.
• Bungee jump. Have you ever seen a YouTube bungee jumping video before? Don’t. Do. It.
• Say, “WHAT?!” with an angry face when you can’t hear someone. 
• Think that Beyonce’s better than you. Yeah, she’s got beauty/money/success/family/talent/style/security/thebesttumblr/etc., but I’m sure she has her own issues going on. You’re great, too. Don’t forget that. 
• Smile at anyone on the street after 11pm.
• Favorite.

Thanks for reading, guys. 

Birthdayly yours,

Liz