Gary & Amanda's Baby Shower

At some point in your life, you're going to throw someone a baby shower. Here's how I did it!

Sample invitation

In my opinion, the best invitations are available on Etsy. I went with Olive Berry Paper and they came out adorable. To be accurate, the shower was supposed to be based on a woodland theme, but came out much more owl-y (but WHO minded? No one!) (I know, booooo, I'm sorry about that.) Honestly, my main goal for the event was to have it not be lame. I hate baby games. I hate large groups of adults playing games. No one needs any of it. I just wanted to have a simple time, with edible food, based around things that that the couple (my brother and sister-in-law) would enjoy.

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Bread basket

This was the bread basket - the bread was from Cobs Bread and you need to eat some of this bread if you live anywhere near Toronto or Mississauga. This stuff tastes nuts. I'm forever thankful to Marla for turning me onto it. The little mushrooms are just mozzarella sticks with grape tomato halves on top in a sea of arugula. I would've wanted to spread that all over the table, but arugula is pricey. 

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Owl cheese

This is the owl cheese that I made with my patient and loving niece Tianna. There's an instructional blog post about how to make one here. 

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Poutine cups

I wish I'd taken proper photos of these guys, but this is the only one that exists. These are the mini poutine cups I assembled. These were not difficult at all - I just got the jars from the dollar store (three for a dollar), bought the Wendy's fries and gravy individually that morning (no way was I gonna make that myself, plus it was the couple's favourite fast food poutine) and got the cheese curds from the grocery store. Easy peasy. I got the idea for this when I saw this site while I was searching for baby shower ideas. And fries are always better than vegetables. 

Caesar Salad Bites

I love the idea of cleanly eating a Caesar salad, so obviously I really wanted to do these.  You can find the recipe here. And I don't have a photo of it, but the world's best spinach and artichoke dip exists here and needs to be eaten by everyone alive. Some other things that were served that I, unfortunately, don't have photos of are the wraps that I ordered from Whole Foods (which were surprisingly really good - the blackened chicken salad one especially), my sister-in-law Cindy's amazing stuffed mushrooms, this pasta salad (just add pasta to the recipe) and lychees that came in a can (Who the hell knew they came in cans?! That's amazing.) - and now here are the desserts:

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Acorn Cookies

Again, not the greatest photo, but here's what they sort of looked like. 

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Strawberries w/ Cool Whip and Nutella

Owl Sugar Cookies

And of course I didn't make these owl cookies - look at them! They're perfect! I bought them off Etsy. 

Cake!

And this gorgeous cake was made by the beautiful Laurie. Look at this cake! YOU can't make a cake like this! Obviously it was delicious. 

All in all, not very stressful to plan. Party Pail had pretty much all the decorations I needed, with numerous dollar store runs as well. These owl frames were in the favor boxes, alongside a small satchel of cookies and cream Hershey's kisses. 

And while it's too time consuming to list every song that I had on the playlist that I had on in the background, here's one that's just perfect for a baby shower.

(I apologize that some of the photographs aren't better, my focus was elsewhere. Won't happen again.)

White Poppies? Fuck Off.

Not enough words for how much this enrages me. I almost don't want to have too strong of an opinion here since, well, people can do whatever they want and everyone has that right. But I find this whole thing tactless, disrespectful and wildly ignorant. 

"A handful of university students have hopped aboard the left-wing Rideau Institute's "white poppy" bandwagon for Remembrance Day, promoting their pacifist ideology by piggybacking on the Royal Canadian Legion's red poppy campaign.

"Young people don't want to celebrate war," Celyn Dufay of the University of Ottawa said. "We want to work for peace."

With the imposing National War Memorial behind him, Dufay unveiled a pin Monday he and a gaggle of activists will distribute this week.

The pin puts the Rideau Institute's "I Remember for Peace" slogan on a white poppy - a controversial symbol that has angered the legion before.

Bill Maxwell, secretary of the legion's poppy remembrance committee, said Dufay and the Rideau Institute don't understand Remembrance Day symbols.

"The red poppy is a symbol of sacrifice," Maxwell said. "It's not a glorification of war."

Conservative MP Erin O'Toole, a military helicopter navigator before entering politics, said the red poppy already stands for peace.

"That peace came at the cost of many, many lives," O'Toole said. "So, to run a simultaneous (white poppy) campaign that really detracts from the day I think is not only inappropriate, it actually undermines the message."

Dufay hopes to distribute about 2,500 white poppy pins, including at the national Remembrance Day ceremony next week.

Maxwell said that won't go over well with veterans.

"I think they may even take it personally," he said. "I'm sure they would."

Dufay said he'll distribute the pins anyway.

"We can't account for other people's feelings, however, no one has a monopoly over Remembrance Day," he said."

Seinfeld Costumes

Last Halloween post, I swear. Hope you all had a great night! 

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The puffy shirt, Elaine and Puddy

Happy Halloween!

Considering how much I loved Elaine, it's a personal shock that I only came up with the idea of going as her only this year. Maybe it's not the best costume you've seen, but I tried my hardest. (Honestly, I think the tiny backpack makes me just nail it, but I'm obviously biased.)

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However you're spending tonight, please incorporate SOME kind of small acknowledgement that it's Halloween. Like what, you say? Here are some prime ideas!

• Eat chocolate
• Eat chocolate with nuts
• Scare a loved one
• Turn off the lights
• Watch Hocus Pocus
• Or watch any of these festive episodes

However you spend it, I hope it's a great time!  

CANDY! 

Liz

What Halloween Means To Me

Like many people, Halloween is my favourite holiday. Here are my reasons why: 

• You not only get to dress up, but you get to be WHATEVER YOU WANT. And maybe that's something that my therapist should look further into, but this element of Halloween has always been my favourite aspect of the day.

• Free candy. Everywhere. For kids and adults? Are we serious? That's amazing.

• Dogs in costumes. I am not a person who likes dressing up dogs in people clothes, this gives me no joy. But put a pug in a Darth Vader suit? I'm yours. This is a delicious image, always. And I'll be okay with this only because everyone should get to partake in this wondrous day.

• Halloween episodes of sitcoms. You know this already because of previous posts. It's rare that I find a Halloween themed sitcom episode that I can't stand. They're solid as hell. 

• Those parades that happen in elementary schools where all the kids walk around and show off their costumes? Gold. I don't know where this idea came from, but I fully endorse it.

• It's very hard for me to watch some horror movies (here's a tip for you if you feel the same way) because of how scared I can get, yes, but around this time of year? I'll force myself to do it. On some level, it makes me feel alive to be that afraid of something, even for a minute. 

• Scaring children. I love it. One year, my friend Harmeet and I turned my parent's house into this really horrifying place to be, we dressed up and lurked around the outside of the house and scared a ton of children that night. This was definitely in my top three of best Halloween nights. Everyone should do something like this at least once.  

One thing that sucks about being in New York is that so few kids actually go trick-or-treating at houses - they tend to go to stores and restaurants, apparently. So there's no reason to really decorate my own house since no one'll show up, which is kind of a downer. I definitely will celebrate and go out to something, and I hope you do, too. Or at the very least, carve a pumpkin and put a candle in it, bud. You're not better than Halloween.

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

Marcia Wallace, 1942 - 2013

The main thing you should know about me? I dearly and intimately love The Simpsons. Not just the first ten seasons, not just a few great episodes and not just a couple of characters. I won't be able to fully express how I feel about this beautifully perfect show, probably ever. Things happen in my daily life (and possibly yours as well) constantly where I'm reminded of certain lines or scenes, and I hope that never changes. I can't possibly describe the amount of joy it's brought me. To be honest, even if I could explain how I feel about the show, you just wouldn't understand how deep it goes. (I hear how ridiculous that sounds, but yeah - you really wouldn't get it. I barely understand how strongly I feel about it.)

And I've worried about this day - the one where a major character/irreplaceable actor or actress should pass away in real life. It's been almost 24 years and I figured it had to happen at some point - and I knew I wouldn't be ready. I'm grateful the show is still going strong, but obviously this is a sad time since Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel) was an absolute gem. 

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This was my Halloween costume from 2012 - and while I was going to repost it this week anyway since October 31st is coming up, I definitely felt the need to post it now more than ever. She was such an incredible voice actress and there's no doubt that she'll be greatly missed.

I've read that they're going to retire her character (like they did with Phil Hartman) and that couldn't make me love the show any more. 

Goodnight, Edna K. 

An Old Halloween

As a clown who loves candy, with Gary & Robbie.

When You Fall...

I fall down a lot. I’m not a moron, I just have poor eyesight and no depth perception. (Not being cute here, they’re seriously just bad eyes.) And since I’ve fallen down hundreds of times, I have some advice for you. Or rather, some things that you shouldn’t do when recovering from said fall.

Things Not To Do When You Fall

• Completely act like nothing happened. People do this one a lot and it’s really funny to see. I never think the actual fall is funny, but people ignoring it makes me hysterical. It’s so weird to not acknowledge, and almost robotic.

• Get mad. I don’t know who you think you’re mad at – maybe the sidewalk? Or the city for not fixing that step? Nope, it was you. You’re at fault. And if you’re mad about that, well, there are some deeper issues going on inside of you and you should maybe calm down a bit.

• Cry. I’ve seen this twice before. From adult women. I’m pretty sure they were drunk, but still. Don’t do it. The attention you’re craving from this crying is massive and uninteresting to everyone around you.

• Be embarrassed. Now, this is hard. I think after years of falls, I’m only beginning to adhere to this point. It’s extremely hard to fight off embarrassment in any situation. But honestly, one of the most unattractive sights alive is an embarrassed adult. Some people fawn over the embarrassed – I do not. This is not an emotion we should cater to. We all feel it sometimes, but you can’t give in to it and let it overtake you because it’s so stupid. Dumb things happen to everyone! We’re all idiots! Sometimes we accidentally walk into trees or walls. Deal with it with dignity at least. And witnessing a grown adult who’s red-faced with embarrassment? Ugh. Grossest sight you can see.

Things You Should Do When You Fall

• Try to grab onto someone on your way down. You’ll either take them down with you (which is great always) or they’ll save your ass. 

• Smile immediately. It shows that you’re a human, with human emotions, and can take these things light-heartedly.

• Laugh. Especially if you’re alone. It’s such a silly thing to happen to a grown person who knows how to walk, so you need to have a sense of humour about it. Also, if I saw a guy walking who tripped or fell and then started laughing about it? That man is a real man. He’s a human who isn’t so serious at all times. 

What To Do When You See Someone Fall

• Never laugh. This is the meanest thing to happen in life. (Okay, not actually the meanest, but in the top three.) This makes my heart fall to pieces when I see someone laughing at a stranger. Never do it. Such a dick move. Don’t do it.

• Don’t say, “Whoa. That was bad.” Saying this offers nothing. I’ve heard this phrase maybe… five different times and it always hurts. I know it was bad. I don’t really want to talk about it right this moment. Even if I am smiling, I might be in pain. Also, I don’t know you. And I’ll never have a response for this sentiment.

• Be concerned, but not overly concerned. There's a fine line between someone who doesn't give a shit at all and someone who overly wants to talk about it. Try to find the balance between the two and be that person. 

Honestly, it’s harder to see someone fall than actually experience it yourself. Why is this? I think it’s because no one knows how to act when it happens to them. And most people are awkward as hell. It doesn’t have to be this way. I really think the worst thing you can do is just ignore it completely when it happens to you. Please stop doing that, everybody. 

Edit Note: I know this is a long post. I apologize. I have very strong feelings on the matter and I couldn't condense it down. Won't happen again. 

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

One last thing? These signs always make me giggle. Look at that little guy! Just great. 

Why You Should Try Pilates

I've only been doing pilates for about two weeks now and I really think I'm gonna stick with it. Yoga has occupied a lot of my time off and on for years, but I just had my first pilates class recently - and I don't think I'll ever want to go back to yoga now. It's not that I dislike yoga, I just don't really care about focussing on all of the breathing stuff, I think. Maybe when I'm older I'll give more of a shit about that kind of thing? Not sure. But for now, I'm think I'm looking for something that's more heavily involved in lots of movements and strength stuff. And that is exactly what pilates is all about. 

Why should you try it out?

1. It can range from being really tame to grossly exhausting, depending on the teacher, which is a good thing. Why is that good? 'Cause if it were the same level of intensity at all times, that would get monotonous. And also, some days you want to push yourself.
2. It's, in my opinion, more active than yoga. Unless you're into how calming yoga is, then cool, stick with that. But if you've ever done yoga and have either scoffed at it or thought it wasn't for you? Definitely try pilates as an alternative. 
3. It's not just for women. Most classes I've gone to have been 90% women, but I've talked to male personal trainers who swear by going. They say that it helps with a man's flexibility more than anything (which is something most men don't care about apparently? And they should.)
4. If you skip going to the gym and go to a class instead - you don't feel terrible about the no gyming. 
5. You learn to get bendy as hell.

Anyway, if you ever get a chance you go to a class, definitely go. I love it to death. I know it's only been two weeks, but it's the only sort of exercise that's managed to excite me and make me want to keep going. And I feel like that's a hard thing to come across. 

Sidenote: Just because I do healthier stuff now does not mean I won't review donuts and/or pen an essay exploring the greatness of all the different kinds of gravy in the world. 

Glamour Shots

Is this post self-indulgent? Yep. Did I just find these prints at my parent's house and need to post them immediately? Bigtime.  

Knowing that this costume was even AVAILABLE in a Canadian Glamour Shots sums up so much about how Canada views the U.S. and that's hilarious to me. And the fact that not only did this outfit exist in Canada, but I chose it. Why? 'Cause I love America, boyo. Even at age 11. I really hope you still exist somewhere, Glamour Shots. I really, sincerely do. (P.S. I was/am overly proud of my pose choices. Lotta thought went into those gems.)

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