Celebrating 29

by Liz Heather in , ,


Tomorrow I turn 30.

I know, I know - how could this youthful, ageless beauty be turning a fully functioning adult age? Beats me, but it's happening. And I think I'm kind of pumped about it. Why, you ask? 'Cause these past 29 years have been some of the most fortunate ones that any human could have asked for. Really. And I want to list some of the greatest things that I've experienced thus far. 

(If you judge me for making this list and/or being proud of it, then I think you might be missing my point here. In which case, skip the list altogether and proceed to the final two paragraphs.)

Highlights Of The Past 29 Years

  • I was a co-lead in my fifth grade musical production of Newsies (or the more accurately titled "Extra! Extra! Read All About It!")
  • I've learned to play the piano, alto saxophone and bass guitar.
  • I've never smoked a cigarette.
  • I'm bendy.
  • In London, I ate the worst fish and chips known to man.
  • In Portugal, I discovered Steak Diane in the Algarve and listened to Fado music in Lisbon.
  • A stuffed poodle has slept atop my bed for over 25 years.

Tianna & said poodle, early 2000s.

  • In Spain, my mother and I were chased by gypsies. (Is that a racial slur? I Googled it and opinions are mixed. I don't mean to be derogatory.)
  • In North Carolina, I saw a crab bite my dad and as a result - I stayed out of the ocean for the following 15 years.

North Carolina with Dad & Gary, right before he got bit.

  • In New Brunswick, I saw the tides change.
  • In California, I didn't trust how perfect it all seemed.
  • In New Hampshire, I flew a glider plane as a teenager.

A glider is a plane with no engine, 1997.

  • I went to a performing arts high school for vocal music.
  • I had the perfect childhood dog experience.
  • In Grenada, I witnessed some baby turtles hatch in the sand in the early morning sun.
  • In Belize, I innertubed through the jungle rivers.
  • I've been to Disney Land and to Disney World. (World's better.)
  • I've road-tripped to Detroit solely for a concert.
  • I've waded in a hotel fountain in New Jersey.
  • In The Cayman Islands, I went down into the sea in a submarine. 

The Cayman Islands, in the sub.

  • In The Bahamas, I was eaten alive by bugs and first saw a pink sand beach.
  • In Trinidad, I slept in my mom's childhood home.

Trinidad, the view from Ma's house.

  • In Tobago, I understood why someone would want to come to Trinidad & Tobago.
  • In Barbados, I watched my brother get married on a beach.
  • I've hitchhiked in Lake George.
  • One time I ate a mustard so spicy that my contact lens popped right out of my face and landed on the sidewalk.
  • I interned with my favourite childhood band The Strokes.
  • I've seen Bob Dylan in concert.
  • I lost my virginity because of the outcome of a World Cup final soccer match.
  • I've skydived.
  • I've seen a baby's birth firsthand.

Five minutes after Layla was born, October 2005.

Me & the babe.

  • I've undergone a successful cornea transplant surgery.
  • I've learned never to take my brothers for granted.
  • I met Mike Myers once and he was very nice.
  • I met someone who lives in Ireland in a Foo Fighters chatroom about 15 years ago and we still mail letters to keep in touch.
  • In Amsterdam, I fell hard for a Frenchman and followed him to Paris.
  • In Paris, I celebrated New Year's, ate crepes outside the Eiffel Tower, learned cooking techniques from a master French chef, walked to the top of the Arc de Triomphe, sailed across the river Seine and kissed Oscar Wilde's grave.
  • In Venice, I stole wine, rode in a gondola and had a brief (but memorable) Italian romance.
  • Acquired the entire Perfect Strangers series as Russian bootleg DVDs.
  • In New York City, I've had many midnight rooftop picnics on the Lower East Side, bench-side champagne dalliances in the rain under an umbrella in Central Park, met one of my best friends by picking her up at a bar, had a short play produced and performed in Hell's Kitchen, swam in freezing temperatures in a rooftop hotel pool, saw Woody Allen in his jazz band at The Carlyle, attended Derek Jeter's last Yankee home game and I've been inside the Statue of Liberty's crown.

Manhattan

Robbie in Chicago, 2009.

  • In Miami, I ate the finest steak of my life at (the now closed) Emeril's.
  • In St. Maarten, I went to a nude beach with my parents.
  • In Niagara Falls, I stayed in a vice presidential suite and won a ton at the casino.

Niagara Falls, June 2013.

  • In Las Vegas, I rode that roller coaster that Grissom loved.
  • In Costa Rica, I went canyoneering, ziplined through the rainforest and saw some sloths.

Canyoneering with Marla, Costa Rica 2010.

Ziplining in Costa Rica, 2010.

  • I've seen The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway over 10 times and will see it again.
  • I have buried time capsules with loved ones. 
  • In Aruba, I experienced my first all-inclusive vacation and vowed to never go all-inclusive again.

My parents in Aruba 2011.

  • I have broken both of my feet on separate occasions.
  • I've become proficient in pilates. 
  • In Atlantic City, I saw Lady Gaga perform and roamed the gorgeous boardwalk.
  • In Montreal, I listened to more jazz than ever before.

Montreal, 2011.

  • I have dined and dashed. 
  • I have never dyed my hair.
  • In Ontario, I've made out with strangers on dance floors, had hundreds of sleepovers at my brother's apartment, ate an abnormal amount of poutine, blown bubbles off balconies, learned how to play poker and swam in an infinity pool overlooking the city.

Toronto, 2012.

Poker night in Mississauga, 2015.

  • In Jamaica, I parasailed, helped Nathan learn how to swim and experienced the clearest sea water in the history of mankind.

The view from parasailing, Jamaica 2011.

In the sea, Jamaica 2011.

  • I've maintained a daily blog for two full years with some degree of success.
  • I'm a (magazine) published writer.
  • I became the type of person who enters a dog in a costume contest.

October 2013.

October 2014.

  • I've found work as an editor, greeting card store cashier, HMV seasonal employee, video store clerk, management assistant, daycare worker and part time nanny.
  • In Florida, I had numerous memorable family vacations.

Florida, 2014.

Florida, 1993.

  • I became a godmother.

With Camden, 2014.

  • For almost six years, I've been in love with a man who treats me so well and happens to be handsome as hell.

Nathan, 2014.

If this post seems boastful, I sincerely don't mean it to. I'm so proud of what's happened thus far - and don't think that I don't know for a goddam minute how lucky I am. Everything on this list was possible because of my family and friends. I know how fortunate I am. So what reason is there not to be excited about whatever happens after 30? 

If you're to take anything away from this post, I hope that you start to compile your own list, at whatever age you currently are. The bullet points won't all come to you at once, but they'll trickle in over weeks and you'll slowly start to see how fortunate you are in your own life, if you don't already know. It's important to look back on these things and realize we're all immensely lucky in more ways than we realize, I think.


Simpsons Birthday Episodes

by Liz Heather in ,


With my 30th birthday coming up, this was the first birthday card I'd received (and to be honest, the absolute best one). Other than the sweet written sentiments, the main reason I loved it so much was for the list of Simpsons-themed birthday episodes that I was recommended to re-watch. Is it just me or is that the nicest idea to list these episodes out? I hadn't seen a few of these in years and loved the hell out of being reminded to. Greg and Katie, you're the best. I hope you don't mind me scanning that card to post it here. SUCH a great idea and I absolutely loved it. 


Siblings

by Liz Heather in ,


NOTE: If you don't have any siblings, I recommend that you leave this post. It'll only make you feel worse about being an only child.

Now, the rest of you: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE A SIBLING?! I really hope you do. Here are mine.

Robbie & Gary

I think I've been overly in love with my brothers for about... 14 years or so. It started when I was around 16 years old and they suddenly started treating me like a real person. I used to think of them as polar opposites for some reason (I think that idea was based on the kind of music they liked?) and that I was the link between them that would bring us all together. Kind of a self-centered thought, but it made sense to me at the time. 

In any case, there were years when I was closer to one of them and then years when I was closer to the other. This went on for awhile until finally coming to the present day where I like to think we're all in a wicked place with one another. I don't know what kind of person I'd be without them and I'm not sure they even know how strongly I feel about us all.

Actually, I think they know. I'm pretty vocal about that kind of stuff.

What the hell is my point here? I guess it's that I hope you're close with your siblings. And if not close, then I think it's good to have some kind of communication with these people who share so much of your past. I pride myself on not judging people too swiftly, but if I ever come in contact with someone who tells me they have a bad relationship with one of their siblings? Yikes. I almost immediately write them off. Is that wrong? 'Cause I can't stop that feeling.

It's kind of a (previously unspoken, now public) dream of mine that one day when me and my brothers are all married and old and all of our wives and husbands have passed away, then me, Gary and Robbie can live in a house together again. If that can somehow happen, I'll lose my mind I'll be so happy.

Anyway, this was a lot of rambling. Can we just consider this post to be a PSA about maybe giving your brother or sister a call to see what's up?


Bendy Bridge

by Liz Heather in


If you're not impressed by this, get over yourself.

Age 29, continuing to kill it.

And if you think it isn't hard to do (in your late twenties), then I implore you to give it a whirl. 

This isn't really a look-what-I-can-do post (well, it IS) but more of a what-can-you-do post? Is there something that you used to be able to do really well and stopped? Maybe you should give it a try again? One day I hope to be able to do the above but have my hands reach/walk all the way down to my feet. I know, I dream big.

In any case, I'll forever keep trying to still be this kid any way I can. 


2015 Resolutions

by Liz Heather in


It's a known fact that I love resolutions, so here are the ones I've made for the new year.

  1. Read at least two books a season.

  2. Try two things off of Pinterest a month.

    • Why? 'Cause it isn't enough to just pin something and then move on with life. Try those damn pins!

  3. Apply to work stuff at least ten times a month.

    • Must remember to write this above my desk at home. 

  4. Volunteer at least once a month.

    • So easy to do. Everyone should be doing this one.

  5. Do pilates at least five times a month.

    • Oh hell yeah, this is going to happen. I'm going to crush last year's 37%.

  6. Juice at least ten times a month.

    • This might be hard to achieve, but I've been getting more variety with the vegetables/fruits I've been using, which has made the whole process much more exciting. Beet juice is way tastier than it sounds, I swear.

  7. Stop falling into the Instagram butt trap.

    • Okay, do you know what I mean? Do you ever look at the random photos suggested for you on Instagram? Well, there are a lot of ass photos in my feed. And yeah, once in awhile, they're nice to see. But sometimes, you fall in to the ass trap and peruse these photos for way too long (anything longer than a minute is too long). I'm not a 13 year old boy, so I shouldn't be doing this. It makes me criticize myself for a little while afterward - and that feels awful since I'm a huge fan of my body. Anyway, I need to curb this habit. It helps no one.

That's the list. I highly encourage you to make one as well. They're not stupid. We all could be trying a little harder at something.

(And don't forget to get all this stuff done today, too.)

(UPDATE: To see how these resolutions went, come on over here.)

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.


2014 Resolutions Revisited

by Liz Heather in


I'm a big fan of resolutions. New Years ones. Birthday ones. I think I just love any type of list. And it's extremely hard to keep your New Year's resolutions, yes. But I think the real problem is that we're not making the right resolutions. In order to avoid the cliched and terrible resolutions we've all heard a billion times, I think the secret of making good resolutions is to make ones that don't automatically set you up for failure. Example: Vowing to "Go to yoga more" is a lot less daunting of a resolution than promising to "Go to yoga two times a week." Does that make sense? Another tip? Don't make monthly goals, make seasonal goals. Four seasons sounds a lot roomier and more relaxed than twelve months do in my mind, but maybe that's just me. 

In any case, I try to come up with good resolutions and here are what my 2014 ones were, if you were interested.

  1. Check Facebook only once a day and take Sundays off.

    • Did this happen? Not even close. But I definitely went on it way less than in 2013. This is where I learned that I shouldn't be so restrictive since I'll be less successful in the long-run if I have ridiculous expectations.

  2. Watch at least three documentaries a month.

    • This resolution might make me sound like a loser who yearns to be cooler by being more into documentaries and that's exactly right. I did it and yet I'm not cooler than you somehow.

  3. Read at least two books a season.

    • Did it! Yeah!

  4. Try two things off Pinterest a season.

    • Did it! Gonna do it again.

  5. Apply for editor jobs at least five times a week.

    • Hahahah, didn't even remember this was on the list. Tip #2: Don't make long resolution lists.

  6. Volunteer at least once a month.

    • Did it only for the first seven months. Fuck.

  7. Do pilates at least five times a month.

    • Did this every month with the exception of stupid September. Goddam you September.

  8. Juice at least four times a week.

    • Nope! Nowhere NEAR that many times. This one was way too lofty. Gotta aim lower for next year.

  9. Never Google Kim Kardashian again.

    • COMPLETED! And this one felt good. I used to Google her a lot in 2013 to see her different outfits and pretty face and body and etc., but it was harming me more than helping me so I wanted to stop and I did.

  10. Stop reading The Frisky.

    • This was a hard one, but I accomplished it. Maybe it doesn't seem difficult to you to stop reading something, but it was. I used to go on that site maybe twice a day, every day. And then somewhere along the way it became way less about women-centered topics and interesting articles to focussing more on pregnant celebrities and top ten worst dressed lists. I had to stop.

As you can see, I wasn't entirely successful - but the things that did happen? I'm pretty proud of those. I also wrote down every day that I either went to the gym or went to pilates last year and figured out that I went 137 days out of 365. That's 37.5% of an entire year that I was at the gym. Do you know how insane that is considering I hadn't given a fuck about exercise for, oh, say 27 years? 37.5%! I think that's incredible. And obviously I'm not saying that everyone needs to go to a gym, but, like, that's insane for me and makes me crazy happy to accomplish something so (typically speaking) out of character.

I'm still thinking of some new ones for 2015, so when I do there will be a post about that in a few days. This was an especially self-indulgent post AND I'M NOT SORRY!

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.