“Do the right thing and buy an air conditioner, you piece of shit.”
Sling - Victoria's Secret
Full Disclosure: if you’re a man, you probably won’t get anything out of reading this post. It may contain some things you just don’t want/need to hear about, and you know what? That’s fine. What can I offer you instead? Perhaps this little link will do.
Okay, now onto real business. Let it be known that I have breasts. Pretty great ones, too. However, whenever I’m shopping for underwear/lingerie/what-have-you, I am always wanting to make them appear even greater.
I came across this garment called a sling at Victoria’s Secret sometime in 2011 and I use it about three times a week at least. When do I use it, you ask? When I’m in a mood to specifically feel more amazing. They’re made of nylon and spandex, I believe, and have a little bit of boning in the front. You wear it overtop your bra for added push-up magic, essentially. I know that sounds like it would feel bulky, having two things on overtop one another, but it really doesn’t feel that way at all. To be honest, I’m not sure how well it works on smaller breasts, but I implore you to try one on and find out. It makes large breasts look ludicrous. And I mean that in the most positive sense. They cost approximately $40 or so at Victoria’s Secret - I imagine that they sell them at most bra places, but it’s easiest to just find them there.
This post was half put up to tell women about slings and half an excuse to post an Adriana Lima photo. That woman? Goddam.
Catching Hell - ESPN Documentary
I saw this documentary for the first time about a year ago, and since then I’ve probably seen it maybe three or four more times. I can’t really pinpoint what’s so interesting about it, to be honest, but for some reason I feel the urge to watch it again when I forget about it after a little while. Anyway, before I go on, here’s a summary of it taken from when it was at the Tribeca Film Festival:
When Chicagoan Steve Bartman fatefully deflected a foul ball in Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS, the city’s long-suffering Cubs fans found someone new to blame for their cursed century without a World Series title. Director Alex Gibney explores the psychology of die-hard sports fans, the frightening phenomenon of scapegoating, and the hysteria that turned mild-mannered Bartman into the most hated man in Chicago.
If you’re not into sports, I think it’s still possible for you to get something outta seeing this. I’m really not that into sports, but I do have a soft spot for baseball, so maybe that has something to do with why I think this is so worth seeing. Also, if I ever meet this man, I will want to continuously hug him for five straight minutes. Let the record show.
You can see all the parts on YouTube here.
Monday Nights at the Rivoli
All right, this’ll be a bit of an obvious post if you know me in real life. I’ve been going to see stand up on Mondays at the Rivoli in Toronto since I was 19 years old. That’s a long time, so that’s gotta mean SOMEthing. It’s a great room and I deeply suggest you go some time if you’re in the city. You can see the weekly lineup here. I’m keeping this short ‘cause you really just have to go to see how much fun it can be. I could go on to list amazing people who perform there often, but that would be excessive and the list would be too long and you’d be all, “Ugh, this list is too long. I’m not gonna click on any of these since there’s so many. I’m too busy. SO BUSY.” So I’ll just link this one lovely lady who can always make me laugh. Oh! And this beautiful specimen too, since he’s hosting tonight.
“I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.”
“No matter how much you want extra cream cheese on that bagel, do not order extra. You will feel quite ill afterward.”
Laundry Punching Bag
This just seems like a great idea. Not sure why you can’t do it with your regular, old current laundry bag… but still a neat idea. (Note: I just tried punching my laundry bag a minute ago and it seemed to do no damage to the bag and my noted aggression was put at ease.) Why do I have boxing gloves in my bedroom? Well, you mind your business.
If you want to get real fancy and buy one, see here. I took note of this item from this beauty of a site.
Tip - Soft Lips Lip Balm
I’ve been using this brand of lip balm for over ten years now. Maybe that’s a sad sentence to hear. Or maybe I just know when something is especially quite good. Why is this baby so good? I’ll tell you why, jerk. THEY’RE SO SLIM! Really. That’s probably my main reason. Yeah, they smell good and go on smooth, but every damn lip balm does/has that. These just glide right into my pocket and aren’t as bulky as your run-of-the-mill ChapStick. I also feel like it lasts longer than other brands, but that could just be a completely false statement.
Apparently you can buy them at Walgreens, but I haven’t seen proof of that yet so I just buy a bunch when I’m in Canada at Shoppers Drug Mart.
If you’re weird enough to purchase lip balm in bulk and/or online, you can get them here. I’ve never bought them online before, but I might now because they offer silly flavors like marshmallow ghost.
Sorry about calling you a jerk. That was rude.
Mom Says
“It is unlucky to cut fingernails on a Friday or Saturday.”