Umm, I feel like this is the sweetest thing I’ve seen in awhile. Just so nice.
Mom Says
A shiver means that someone is walking over your (eventual) grave.
Tip - How To Cure Frostbite Fast
If you ever find yourself:
- freezing to death
- frost bitten
- having one extremity very, very cold
…then what should you do? Let me tell you. Put whatever area is suffering under a woman’s breast because that’s the warmest place on a human body. The larger the breast the better.
Learned that in Girl Guides. Totally works too. Not 100% positive about the “larger breasts work better” part, but that just seems to make sense in my mind. One winter, this girl fell in a lake and our leader totally used this method and the girl was warm again almost instantaneously. Like, weirdly fast. Heated her right up.
“It’s easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die.”
Story of the Day
Me & Gar
Me & Gar
Edit note: Maybe this story isn’t actually that good or interesting, but it still makes me laugh, so… deal with it?
When I was younger (I wanna say teens, but it probably spread into early and mid twenties) I was especially sort of bitchy and awful at times to the people in my family. Or maybe that included friends as well. And strangers, too. I don’t know why, it was a weird time. Anyway, one of the funniest things I’ll remember forever is this thing that happened with my brother, Gary.
It was somebody in the family’s birthday. We were all at my parent’s house and Gary asked if he could wrap a gift in my room so no one would see what it was. And in response, I said that he could but then proceeded to bark at him not to get ANY little pieces of wrapping paper anywhere on my clean floor - ‘cause I didn’t want to be the one to “fucking clean up” after him later. Anyway, he just nodded his head, quietly accepting my abnormal rage at this simple request and went on.
So the day goes on, the birthday party happens and everyone eventually leaves. I’m getting ready for bed and I turn off the light and get under the covers and as soon as I put my head down onto the pillow I hear this rustling underneath. So I turn the light on and look under the pillow and there’s an absurd amount of crumpled up wrapping paper with tape sticking out of places that were purely there for decoration and tiny little pieces of paper just everywhere. I’ll never be able to put into words how much that made me laugh. I realized instantly what a maniac I must’ve sounded like to him, and I will absolutely never forget how amazing that was for him to do.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
New Place To Online Shop
This place is not new, but rather new to me. I’ve only bought a few things here and I’ve been very happy with all my purchases. Granted, some of the stuff is extraordinarily trashy, but some of the other stuff is beautiful and are things that I haven’t to been able to find anywhere else.
Anyway, if you’re a woman, take a look. If you’re a man? Sorry to have this focus on my gender. I know it’s hard for men to find clothing places that are actually good. Have you tried the men’s section at Zara? That’s something. Or take a look over here (but I have a feeling a lot of that list will be way too expensive for any normal human man). Yeah, actually that list sucks. I’ll come up with a real list aimed at men after I do some research.
Best Christmas Album
For real, this is the best and my most favourite Christmas album of all time. It was the last record our family ever bought - so maybe I’m actually only in love with it due to the timely appeal of getting to say that this was our “last record” to be purchased. But really - getting the record player out and putting this on gives me more joy than many things in life. And truthfully, I’ve heard it on cd and it’s just… not as good. You need to hear the gentle scratches of the vinyl to make it even more nostalgic and delicious.
Why am I posting this in April and not in December? Well, that’s a good question. If I told you I was posting about it now because it’s a very hard record to locate and you might need the extra months to track it down and buy it - would you believe me in that reasoning? ‘Cause that’s pretty solid reasoning. Do I actually think you’re going to search your local flea markets for said record? An even better question. Do what you want. If you don’t want to make your world a little brighter with this timeless album, then that’s on you, son.
“Best Part Of A Vacation = No Bras!”
Patterned Paint Roller
“This is the applicator to use on walls with our patterned paint rollers to create a wallpaper look.”
Ummm, amazing. And sounds ridiculously hard to do right, but amazing nonetheless.
Available for purchase here.