Not the best Charlie Brown special (obviously), but still all right. Also, if you have any nieces or nephews or know any small kids then make them watch this. It brings me down to think that kids today wouldn't watch these specials.
Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!
To put it simply, the Halloween episodes of sitcoms are a passion of mine. I’ve seen all of the good ones and I have four six-hour long taped VHS tapes to prove it. I can’t go on in detail about each of these shows in just one post since you would immediately stop reading, so I'll do them in parts. Part one? Home Improvement.
Ignoring the fact that Tim Allen is an adonis of a man (2023 UPDATE: yes he’s awful, but I was very attracted to him in 2013 when I first wrote this), these Halloween episodes are spectacular. All of them. The links are attached to the episode names below if you somehow can't remember how good they were and need to see for yourself. (To be completely honest, season three, seven and eight are the best ones, in my opinion.)
Season Two - The Haunting of The Taylor House
Season Three - Crazy For You
Season Six - I Was A Teenager Taylor
Season Seven - A Night To Dismember
Season Eight - Bewitched
For other great Halloween sitcom episodes, click below.
Part Four - Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Part Seven - Two Guys and a Girl
Final Part - Miscellaneous Episodes
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“Buy coloured shoes. Even tan shoes count as coloured.”
If you've ever gone to (and enjoyed) The Clothing Show in Toronto, well, this is WORLDS better. I know that because I've gone. Years ago, I went and bought myself a robe that was used in the movie Jeepers Creepers 2. I love this robe and I use it daily. Partially because it's a fantastic robe and partially because it's famous.
When: Saturday, October 19th, 2013 - from 9am until 5pm
Where: Pinewood Toronto Studios, 225 Commissioners Street
Tickets are $5.
GO!
I fall down a lot. I’m not a moron, I just have poor eyesight and no depth perception. (Not being cute here, they’re seriously just bad eyes.) And since I’ve fallen down hundreds of times, I have some advice for you. Or rather, some things that you shouldn’t do when recovering from said fall.
Things Not To Do When You Fall
Completely act like nothing happened. People do this one a lot and it’s really funny to see. I never think the actual fall is funny, but people ignoring it makes me hysterical. It’s so weird to not acknowledge, and almost robotic.
Get mad. I don’t know who you think you’re mad at – maybe the sidewalk? Or the city for not fixing that step? Nope, it was you. You’re at fault. And if you’re mad about that, well, there are some deeper issues going on inside of you and you should maybe calm down a bit.
Cry. I’ve seen this twice before. From adult women. I’m pretty sure they were drunk, but still. Don’t do it. The attention you’re craving from this crying is massive and uninteresting to everyone around you.
Be embarrassed. Now, this is hard. I think after years of falls, I’m only beginning to adhere to this point. It’s extremely hard to fight off embarrassment in any situation. But honestly, one of the most unattractive sights alive is an embarrassed adult. Some people fawn over the embarrassed – I do not. This is not an emotion we should cater to. We all feel it sometimes, but you can’t give in to it and let it overtake you because it’s so stupid. Dumb things happen to everyone! We’re all idiots! Sometimes we accidentally walk into trees or walls. Deal with it with dignity at least. And witnessing a grown adult who’s red-faced with embarrassment? Ugh. Grossest sight you can see.
Things You Should Do When You Fall
Try to grab onto someone on your way down. You’ll either take them down with you (which is great always) or they’ll save your ass.
Smile immediately. It shows that you’re a human, with human emotions, and can take these things light-heartedly.
Laugh. Especially if you’re alone. It’s such a silly thing to happen to a grown person who knows how to walk, so you need to have a sense of humour about it. Also, if I saw a guy walking who tripped or fell and then started laughing about it? That man is a real man. He’s a human who isn’t so serious at all times.
What To Do When You See Someone Fall
Never laugh. This is the meanest thing to happen in life. (Okay, not actually the meanest, but in the top three.) This makes my heart fall to pieces when I see someone laughing at a stranger. Never do it. Such a dick move. Don’t do it.
Don’t say, “Whoa. That was bad.” Saying this offers nothing. I’ve heard this phrase maybe… five different times and it always hurts. I know it was bad. I don’t really want to talk about it right this moment. Even if I am smiling, I might be in pain. Also, I don’t know you. And I’ll never have a response for this sentiment.
Be concerned, but not overly concerned. There's a fine line between someone who doesn't give a shit at all and someone who overly wants to talk about it. Try to find the balance between the two and be that person.
Honestly, it’s harder to see someone fall than actually experience it yourself. Why is this? I think it’s because no one knows how to act when it happens to them. And most people are awkward as hell. It doesn’t have to be this way. I really think the worst thing you can do is just ignore it completely when it happens to you. Please stop doing that, everybody.
Edit Note: I know this is a long post. I apologize. I have very strong feelings on the matter and I couldn't condense it down. Won't happen again.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
One last thing? These signs always make me giggle. Look at that little guy! Just great.
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
This is an ad I just saw on the back of a magazine. I'm posting it here because I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS. Is it some sort of play on the name Trinidad AND Tobago? And if so... that doesn't make any sense? 'Cause you can't drive to either of those places since they are physically two islands, separated by water. Is that the joke? That you can't drive there but a Ford will allow you to? I DON'T GET IT. And I think I'm maybe 50% smart (maybe even 90% smart when it comes to ads). Anyway, if you understand it, please either email me what it means or tell me privately. I've already sent Ford an email that I probably won't get a response to since people aren't keen to explain jokes, I'd imagine.
EDIT NOTE: My dear cousin Jackie just explained what they're trying to do: "Their new campaign scheme has been the benefits of "and" rather than "or". But you're right, this example is just geographically flawed. And clearly the tourist's choice would be Tobago." Thank you, Jackie! And yes, Tobago is fantastic, go there, everyone.
“These are the days that must happen to you.”
This is all great. Really hope he contacts her.
I can't even tell you how much this gets played on my iPod every October. CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU. Also, it always reminds me of that great Simpsons Valentine's episode.
