“Don’t type out ‘lol’. If you really do laugh, then write out “hahahahah” or if it was a tiny laugh then a “haha” will do. ‘LOL’ isn’t clear at all. Let me know exactly how funny it was, please.”

— #lizadvice

Movie To Watch - Breakdown

This movie is fantastic. I saw it for the first time when it came out (fuck, about sixteen years ago) and just re-watched it the other night. Still fantastic. Everything about it is perfect. (Not fun fact: for the longest time I thought it was Jeff Bridges and William Petersen (Grissom!) in this movie - and it's obviously not, but rather Kurt Russell and J.T. Walsh.) 

The premise still terrifies me: "A couple is driving across the country when they find themselves stranded in the middle of a desert with nothing around. The woman takes a ride with a friendly trucker to a small diner to call for help, but after a long time, the man becomes worried. He finds that no one in the diner has seen or heard from his wife. When he finds the trucker who gave her the ride, the trucker swears he has never seen her." Does that not sound terrifying?! The twelve year old me couldn't handle how awful that sounded. Anyway, great movie. See it if you haven't. It's on American Nexflix. 

Tip of the Day - Eye Makeup

Instead of using concealer only underneath your eyes, use it on top of your eyelids as well. Why the hell would you do this? I'll tell you why.

1. It keeps your whole eye area (under and above) the same colour and keeps it all the same kind of smooth.
2. It acts as a primer and lets your eye shadow stay on way longer.
3. It brightens up your eyelid area so that if you do wear any eye shadow, it'll stand out even more.

I just learned to do this recently and have noticed a difference. Subtle difference, but a difference. Also, it really does help your makeup stay on longer. That's the main reason I do it. Well, that reason and the fact that I don't use eye shadow primers. (I totally would, but they're too expensive usually.) 

Sarah Silverman Being Great

“If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.”

— Dr. Gail Dines

The Burger at Bua in NYC

This place (Bua) is a bar in the East Village, but this burger certainly should not be considered bar food. It's made of a La Frieda custom short rib blend with lettuce, tomato and pickle served on a potato roll with "burger sauce" for $8. It's akin to the burgers at Shake Shack, in the very best way. Come to think of it, all my favourite burgers are a "blend" of some sort. That must mean either:

1. I'm fancy. 
2. You ain't.

EAT IT NOW!

Roseanne's My Life as a Woman - A Review

Okay, I know that cover doesn't make it look good, but IT'S SO GOOD. And it was published in 1989, so maybe that's why it looks so unappealing to your modern and futuristically 2013 eyes. I can't remember the reason why I wanted to read this in the first place - I'd imagine it was because I've always liked Roseanne. I just saw She-Devil for the first time the other day and she's great in that, too. Hell, she's great in everything. 

The Best Parts

• Describing the first time she saw a man's penis: "I thought his guts fell out of his vagina."
• "I think men like to pretend that they are not wholly dependent on women. Women like to pretend that they are dependent on men. And there you have it, folks, the Rosie Barr view of the BATTLES OF THE SEXES."
• "Mormon people are very easy to convince, because they see Satan everywhere; as I know now, Satan for them is a euphemism for "thought.""
• "Comedy, he told me, is funniest when it's about speaking up for the little man or killing sacred cows."
• The whole chapter on her love for Woody Allen is just great.
• I don't know why I loved this next part so much, probably because of her description of it. It's about how she would devour (a then desirable man) Mel Gibson: "Not only would I eat Mel Gibson, in the literal and figurative sense, I would consume him, I would inhale him, rolling him around my tongue like a fine Rothschild, swallowing slowly, savoring the essence, gnawing it and slobbering with great masticating noises. Yeah, that's just what I would do."
• "The problem with drugs, as I have always believed, is that if you take them, you will believe that you are on them, and that is a great excuse to erase your own responsibility, culpability, ability and life."
• When she talks about hitchhiking and traveling around: "You are the one who is in control, because you are moving, moving powerfully fast, even though you are sitting almost absolutely, and trancelike still. In a way, in this way, you are transcending the world itself."
• When she's describing giving birth: "I am screaming for it to get out of me as if I am conducting an exorcism and my brain, I can see my brain crumbling like blue cheese, pieces falling out and falling off." - I just loved the crumbling like blue cheese description so much for some reason.
• And her entire chapter about how awful women's magazines are? You know I loved all of that. "Part of the reason women are so confused these days is due to horrid grotesque "women's magazines" and the type of mind-numbing bullshit they pour out on us month after hideous month. I just know they're a political conspiracy to keep women off base so we won't demand the arms race stopped and the money it uses be spent more productively."

Definitely read the book if you're into this woman at all. You can buy it for practically nothing on Amazon. Woman's great.

Chef John's Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip

I yearn to be a great cook. I like to think that I try my best, but I'm just not that great at it. But this dip? I can make this flawlessly and people actually eat it with a smile - so this will be one of my great go-to things to make for the rest of my days. I know I've mentioned it once quickly before in another post, but I wanted to put up the video for it as well. Also, do you know how much I love this man - Chef John? A lot. (I've mentioned my love for him in the past.) He's just the best and his recipes are almost always amazing. Anyway, you can watch the video for the recipe or go on over here for a print out. Tasty as hell. 

Truffles by Coquette

If you'd like to taste the best chocolates you'll ever eat, then please go no further than here. I've tried most every flavour and they're ridiculously good. Even the vegan ones. Such a good gift to give someone this time of year.