In the 1920s, Ernest Hemingway’s colleagues bet him that he couldn’t write a complete tragic story in just six words.
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Duo Lash Glue
This product? Pure trash. Don't be fooled into thinking it's good just because Sephora endorses it. Don't!
If you're using this glue, you're going to hate putting on false lashes. I've been using it for a few weeks (because I couldn't find the Revlon one I love) and I can't tell you the amount of times I've screamed at that little tube of filth.
The two main problems?
- The glue doesn't stay on as long as the Revlon one.
- The applicator tip? Ugh, it's THE WORST. You have to pour some out on a napkin or piece of paper or something and then drag the lashes across it. BOOO! The Revlon one has an applicator that allows you to paste the glue onto the lashes directly.
For more fake lash talk, go on over here if you missed it the first time around.
“The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.”
Vaseline Spray & Go Moisturizer
I'm not really the type of person who needs to lotion up in a hurry, but apparently those people exist, so I'd imagine that's who this product is aimed at. But onto the bigger question: is this spray lotion any good? Um, bigtime.
Best part about it? How easily it lets you lotion up your back. That's the most irritating spot to reach when it comes to applying anything, so that's my favourite part about using this stuff. Not sure why they wouldn't mention that in the advertising - I feel like they'd entice a lot more people into trying it out if they knew that it works best on hard-to-reach areas.
Worst part about this lotion? The price ranges from $5 to $11, depending on where you buy it (which makes no sense to me).
If this stuff manages to stay around for longer than a few months, then I'll probably buy another bottle when my current one runs out. Pretty neat idea.
Football Summary
This is kind of a great explanation.
The Peninsula Winter Drinks Deal
You'll really only care about this post if you live near NYC and go out drinking. Oh, and if you like to get fancy often.
The bar at The Clement at The Peninsula hotel (at 55th & Fifth) has a winter cocktail menu in accordance with the temperature outside right now. So basically, the colder it gets - the cheaper the drinks get. For every degree below 25, the price will drop a dollar. If the temperature reaches zero degrees, you’ll get free petit fours to accompany the free drinks.
I'm obviously going to go because I've always wanted a reason to see that hotel because it's gorgeous from photos and the some-day-dream of mine is to stay there a night solely to have use of their indoor rooftop pool. It looks nuts. The drink promotion lasts until February 28th, 2014.
Fury of the Day - Mannequin Lies
One of most irritating things about living in this society? Constantly being lied to. Now that's kind of a broad statement, but if I may narrow in just a bit on what I mean, let me proceed.
So what's my problem?
THIS.
What do I mean? That bunched-up material that gets pinned up at the back of a shirt or dress on a mannequin? Yeah, that. That's fucking fraud. That shirt or dress does NOT look the way that you're trying to tell me it does. Therefore, I hate you, store. And I always will. Why does this act have to be done? Why can't you just be real with me? Does the dress look that bad if you DON'T do this maneuver? Can I merely request that you PUT THE FUCKING SHIRT ON THE GODDAM LIFELESS BODY AND MOVE ON TO YOUR NEXT TASK, sales employee? Don't try and fucking trick me into thinking this is how it's gonna look on my body. I'm a human woman. And I don't bunch up my shirt at the back like that, you know this about me and yet you don't seem to care.
And also, if the material of any given dress or shirt doesn't hug a body in the way that you're FORCING it to, have you considered that maybe some people are actually looking for something that doesn't accentuate every part of a body? Maybe some women WANT a dress that just rests on their frame and doesn't showcase every curve and nuance of the female form. Is that a shocking want? Do you not understand why someone might LIKE a dress that maybe doesn't fucking force you to showcase how tiny your waist is?
Honestly, I don't see this a lot anymore, but it definitely occurs more than it should. It happens to be rampant at The Gap and most department stores. And when I do see it, I lose my mind for a minute. Makes me so fucking mad.
If you're thinking I'm too angry about this... ugh. Stop reading my blog! This is not meant to be angry, it is merely said with passion. I could go on to say how small things like this are part of a larger problem, but I will leave it at that.
“Two of the best, easiest uses for Nutella? As icing on a cupcake or as the topping on some ice cream.”
The Set of Paul (the Movie)
Not the greatest thing in the world or anything, but parts of this always makes me laugh.