“As humans, we waste the shit out of our words. It’s sad. We use words like “awesome” and “wonderful” like they’re candy. It was awesome? Really? It inspired awe? It was wonderful? Are you serious? It was full of wonder? You use the word “amazing” to describe a goddamn sandwich at Wendy’s. What’s going to happen on your wedding day, or when your first child is born? How will you describe it? You already wasted “amazing” on a fucking sandwich.”
Cell Phone Charger & Sanitizer
Honestly, this seems like a pretty smart idea. However, it's $50 - which means I'm probably not going to get one anytime soon. If anything, I'm posting this here 'cause after I watched this video I sort of felt really bummed out by how disgusting my phone probably is every day. That's a reality I would have preferred to live without knowing. So instead of keeping that thought to myself, now you have to bask in it as well. Maybe we can revel in the fact that we're all bacteria-ridden demons who have gross phones!
If you think you're better than me and would like to get one of these, you can buy them at Phone Soap.
Worry About Yourself
I know this is old, but man - it's still really great.
Steinway & Sons in NYC
If you're in New York and you have an affinity for pianos (either playing them or loving them), then you need to go visit the Steinway & Sons location on 57th Street (between Sixth and Seventh Avenues). You can obviously go there to buy pianos, but what's better (and somewhat of a secret) is the fact that you can go in and play almost every, ridiculously expensive piano in there. And no one minds. All the pianos are separated into different rooms, so it's not like you're disturbing anyone either. Both the times I've visited, I've been the only person in the whole place.
The John Lennon designed piano
It's really a crazy thing that they'll let anyone just come in and play, so if you do possess that talent? Get on over here. (Apparently there's also a factory tour that you can take in Astoria that's free, but not available year round. So once I take that, you'll hear about it.)
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Robin Williams Apple Ad
I'm not posting this because I think this is a great Apple ad (this is a great Apple ad) - I'm only posting it to say, "Why the hell doesn't Robin Williams get more voiceover work? Such a great voice!"
That's all. Continue on with your day.
“Tiny, crumbled up pieces of garlic bread taste amazing on pasta. Do it.”
Tip of the Day - Groupon Dentist Deals
You. Soon.
You. Soon.
If you aren't going to see a dentist every six months, well, I'm not going to blather on to you about HOW HORRIBLE YOU ARE because I'm not your mother. You should obviously know how important oral hygiene is by now, so I won't go on. What's that you say? You've got no insurance? I hear you. Oh, but wait. Here's a thought. Use Groupon or Living Social or sites like those ones to find dentist deals. You can find deals on general cleanings (ie. check-ups) so often, it's a joke. And these are crazy deals, usually for $50 and less. You now have no excuse not to go. Seriously, the elderly version of you will thank me when you have glorious teeth well into your hundreds.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Tragic Six Word Story
In the 1920s, Ernest Hemingway’s colleagues bet him that he couldn’t write a complete tragic story in just six words.
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Duo Lash Glue
This product? Pure trash. Don't be fooled into thinking it's good just because Sephora endorses it. Don't!
If you're using this glue, you're going to hate putting on false lashes. I've been using it for a few weeks (because I couldn't find the Revlon one I love) and I can't tell you the amount of times I've screamed at that little tube of filth.
The two main problems?
- The glue doesn't stay on as long as the Revlon one.
- The applicator tip? Ugh, it's THE WORST. You have to pour some out on a napkin or piece of paper or something and then drag the lashes across it. BOOO! The Revlon one has an applicator that allows you to paste the glue onto the lashes directly.
For more fake lash talk, go on over here if you missed it the first time around.