“If you love Sprite or 7up and you’re trying to get off of it - start drinking lemon lime seltzer. Swear to God it tastes the same and is eons better for you.”
Toronto Poutine Week
As you may know, I'm in the midst of generally trying to eat better (with small indulgences here and there of course). However, the one gluttonous delicacy I will never permanently shake? Poutines. Thankfully, they aren't commonly sold around these parts, so it's easy to forget about them. But if I were in Toronto this week - from February 1st to the 7th - you better damn well know I'd be trying a least a few of these babies listed below.
La Poutine Week is a seven-day, city-wide food fest created by Montreal foodies Na’eem Adam and Thierry Rassam. Twenty-five restaurants across the city will be serving poutines, each for $10 or less. The fest is also a contest and diners can vote for their favourite dishes online, and at week’s end one Toronto poutine will be crowned the city’s best.
Here’s a list of participating restaurants, plus short descriptions of their innovative takes on the Canadian dish:
Boots ‘n’ Bourbon: The Honky Tonk
Pulled beef brisket, Quebec cheese curds, Cajun-spiced fries, gravy, horseradish mayo and scallions. $10.
725 Queen St. E., 647-348-0880
Caplansky’s Delicatessen: The Jew-Tine
Smoked-meat poutine topped with crispy onion straws. $10.
356 College St., 416-500-3852
Duke’s Refresher: Breakfast Poutine
Crispy fries, sausage, bacon, pulled pork, gravy, cheese curds, two eggs and special sauce. $10.
382 Yonge St., 416-979-8529
Fancy Franks: Fancy Schmancy Poutine
Fries, beef ribs, cheese curds, grilled onions, gravy, fried egg and scallions. $10.
326 College St., 416-920-3647
GameDay on College: Buffalo Chicken Poutine
Fries, Cajun panko-crusted chicken tenders, Quebec cheese curds and Buffalo-infused brown gravy. $10.
614 College St., 647-349-9464
Great Burger Kitchen: Bawk-Bawk Suey Poutine
Fries, Ontario cheese curds and chicken braised with soy sauce, ginger, brown sugar and chillies. $10.
1056 Gerrard St. E., 416-778-0111
Hogtown Smoke: Quadruple Pig-Pass
Fries, pulled pork, deep-fried pork-belly cubes, candied bacon, one pork back rib, Quebec curds and bone-marrow gravy. $10.
1959 Queen St. E., 416-691-9009
Holy Chuck: Love the Bone
Fries, braised and pulled veal cheek, veal cheek gravy, brie cheese, roasted and confit cipollini onions in wild blueberry juice, and roasted bone marrow. $10.
1450 Yonge St., 416-962-4825
La Société: P’ink
Fries, ham hock, tarragon, manchego cheese and squid ink aioli. $10.
131 Bloor St. W., 416-551-9929
Lisa Marie: Pad Thai Fries
Fries, secret sauce, bean sprouts, lime and cilantro. $10.
638 Queen St. W., 416-999-6822
Lou Dawgs BBQ: The Mighty Loutine
Fries, homemade gravy, Quebec cheese curds and slow-smoked pulled pork. $8.
589 King St. W., 647-347-3294
MerryBerry Café and Bistro: The Drunken Shroom
Seasoned potato wedges, French beans, mushroom–white wine sauce, goat cheese and walnuts. $10.
559 Parliament St., 647-348-0411
Rock Lobster Ossington: Lobster Poutine
Fries, Quebec cheese curds, Nova Scotia Lobster and lobster-bisque gravy. $10.
110 Ossington Ave., 416-533-1800
Slab Burgers: Poutine Double Down
Fries, house-ground beef, cheddar cheese, bacon, Quebec cheese curds, house gravy and peppers. $10.
47 Charles St. W., 647-350-5883
The Indie Alehouse: The Oxen-ator
Fries, IPA-braised oxtail, cheese curds and beef gravy on rosemary pizza crust. $10.
2876 Dundas St. W., 416-760-9691
The Lakeview: Disco Fries
Fries, melted cheddar and havarti, beef or mushroom gravy. $10.
1132 Dundas St. W., 416-850-8886
The Saint: St. Poutine
Fries, cheddar cheese curds, grilled thick-cut bacon, sour cream and bacon gravy. $10.
227 Ossington Ave., 647-350-2100
The Thompson Diner: Braised Beef Poutine
Poutine topped with ancho-braised beef short ribs. $10.
550 Wellington St. W., 416-601-3533
Toma Burger Addiction: Toma Poutine
Fries, truffle olive oil, double-smoked bacon, caramelized onions, fresh cheese curds and homemade gravy. $8.
712 Queen St. W., 416-901-1027
Triple A Bar: Texas Smoked Brisket Poutine
Fries, cheese curds, gravy and Texas-style smoked brisket
138 Adelaide St. E., 416-850-2726
Yakitori Bar: Beef Tongue Kimchi Poutine
Fries, caramelized kimchi, beef tongue and Japanese mayo. $10.
1 Baldwin St., 647-748-0083
The Uro Club
The best. I only wish I knew more golfers I could give this to.
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Bob's Burgers
If Bob's Burgers isn't one of the shows you're watching on television right now, you're making very silly decisions with your choices, bud.
“As humans, we waste the shit out of our words. It’s sad. We use words like “awesome” and “wonderful” like they’re candy. It was awesome? Really? It inspired awe? It was wonderful? Are you serious? It was full of wonder? You use the word “amazing” to describe a goddamn sandwich at Wendy’s. What’s going to happen on your wedding day, or when your first child is born? How will you describe it? You already wasted “amazing” on a fucking sandwich.”
Cell Phone Charger & Sanitizer
Honestly, this seems like a pretty smart idea. However, it's $50 - which means I'm probably not going to get one anytime soon. If anything, I'm posting this here 'cause after I watched this video I sort of felt really bummed out by how disgusting my phone probably is every day. That's a reality I would have preferred to live without knowing. So instead of keeping that thought to myself, now you have to bask in it as well. Maybe we can revel in the fact that we're all bacteria-ridden demons who have gross phones!
If you think you're better than me and would like to get one of these, you can buy them at Phone Soap.
Worry About Yourself
I know this is old, but man - it's still really great.
Steinway & Sons in NYC
If you're in New York and you have an affinity for pianos (either playing them or loving them), then you need to go visit the Steinway & Sons location on 57th Street (between Sixth and Seventh Avenues). You can obviously go there to buy pianos, but what's better (and somewhat of a secret) is the fact that you can go in and play almost every, ridiculously expensive piano in there. And no one minds. All the pianos are separated into different rooms, so it's not like you're disturbing anyone either. Both the times I've visited, I've been the only person in the whole place.
The John Lennon designed piano
It's really a crazy thing that they'll let anyone just come in and play, so if you do possess that talent? Get on over here. (Apparently there's also a factory tour that you can take in Astoria that's free, but not available year round. So once I take that, you'll hear about it.)
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Robin Williams Apple Ad
I'm not posting this because I think this is a great Apple ad (this is a great Apple ad) - I'm only posting it to say, "Why the hell doesn't Robin Williams get more voiceover work? Such a great voice!"
That's all. Continue on with your day.