Michael Bolton in Concert

You're not a fan, you say? Well, get outta this blog, bud. Lotta bolt talk ahead.

I saw this fine man perform this week in Mississauga and if you ever get a chance to see him - GO. He, of course, plays the big hits - but even the songs he does "off his new album" are still covers of other songs from the past, so it's a win-win situation. The only thing I didn't enjoy was the fact that he has two women who come out and do duets with him at various times. And then when he leaves for an outfit change (of which there are three), one of the women would come out and sing a snippet from one of HIS songs! What the hell?! I paid to hear HIM sing it, not you, bitch! Anyway, hated that. But him? He's a gem. A real national treasure. Also, THIS reggae version is too fantastic not to pass on. 

The two remaining tour dates he has lined up are in Snoqualmie, WA on June 15th and in Peachtree City, GA on July 26th and you can find information on them here. 

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Me and my mom AREN'T gonna take an audience shot? Get out of here.

“Men are only as great as they are kind.”

— Elbert Hubbard

A Healthier Heinz Ketchup

I'm conflicted. I want to tell you to buy this ketchup, but the only place (that I know of) that sells it is Wal-Mart. So... I'm going to leave it up to you. If you can find this specific Heinz, please God try it. I also want to tell you that it doesn't really taste like ketchup, but... that's a good thing! We all need to get off this kind of sugary trash. I know that none of us are eating it by the bucketload, but still. There's so much garbage in regular ketchup and nobody needs it. And if you still crave ketchup in your life - then this is the stuff (above) to buy because it's so much better for you and you can literally detect the difference and it actually tastes good. I really should have bought twenty of them and just forced my loved ones to try them out and hopefully convert them forever.

I'm not surprised that this specific product is hard to find in stores (and even online!). I'd imagine that hardcore Heinz lovers aren't exactly searching for a "healthier Heinz," so I guess it makes sense. Definitely keep an eye out for it, though. 

Fresh Food Dinner Kits at Union Square Subway Station

A startup called Fresh Routes will be stationed in the mezzanine level of Union Square (14th street) station beginning June 12th, selling "dinner kits" with all the ingredients to make a meal at home. Each kit will include "fresh vegetables, a bold spice blend and step-by-step instructions for preparing a seasonal entree." According to their website, the recipes are from local chefs, including alums of big kitchens like Jean-Georges and Momofuku Ssam, with materials sourced from local spots like Hot Bread Kitchen and Satur Farms on Long Island.

Some of the current kits available include a BBQ Chicken Skillet Salad with greens, avocado and other veggies; a SoHo Rice Bowl with black beans, peppers and DYI guacamole; and a Tuscan Cannellini Ragout with spaghetti, olives, tomatoes and white beans. Fruits and veggies don't come pre-chopped and you'll have to already own your own salt, pepper and cooking oil, but otherwise everything's included and is ready for the kitchen.

Until now, the kits could (and still can) be ordered online and delivered anywhere in Manhattan; the USQ pop-up will operate:

Monday to Friday, 8am - 9pm and Saturday from 10am - 5pm for the rest of the summer.

Kits average around $34 each and include four portions, so I'll assume that you'd buy these if you're cooking for more than just yourself (well, that or you love leftovers). Side salads, appetizers and desserts are also available to purchase and the company says there will be at least one vegetarian/vegan option available in each day's selection.

You might hear this option and think, "Why the hell would I pay $34 for one meal for a few people when I can just go to the grocery store myself and get anything I want for any recipe I want?" Well, I suppose that's a fair argument. But also, do you live in NYC and have that opinion? 'Cause in that case, I feel like you probably don't understand how hellish and time consuming it is to enter ANY grocery store between 4pm and 7pm on any weekday night. So keeping that in mind, this is a great option for this city. And when I try it, I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. 

You're Eating Watermelon Wrong

You're welcome.

Coffee Crisp McFlurry at McDonald's

I will happily endorse almost anything that encourages more Coffee Crisp consumption in our everyday lives. I think you should know that by now. I'm not telling you to eat one of these every day or even one a week - but once in awhile? C'mon. It's not a big deal. And this particular treat IS FANTASTIC if you, obviously, like Coffee Crisp. I'm not sure if they're available in all of Canada, but they're definitely in Ontario at the moment so get on that.

“Never trust a person who openly says that they don’t like their parents.”

— #laylaadvice

Hazelnut Gelato at Whole Foods

I will always say yes to seeing a dessert menu at the end of a meal MAINLY because I have to do a once-over and make sure there isn't any hazelnut gelato listed. If you haven't had it before... that's a problem. Especially if you give any kind of a shit about Nutella, as most do. 

Whole Foods has a gelato section and nine times out of ten, they have this flavour. I advise you to eat it if you have any kind of decency within you. 

B.J. Novak's One More Thing Stories and Other Stories - A Review

Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld when Kramer gets a (fake) job at an office where he's working crazy hours (and has a briefcase full of crackers) - then his boss sits down with him to look over his recent work and the boss looks at it and goes, "I don't know what this is supposed to be..."? I could say that about this whole book.

This is not going to be an especially mean post, since I think it's great that he managed to write (and publish) something that I'm sure lots of (other) people (not me) will love. If anything, I'm a little blown away that I disliked it so intently. Remember when I was so excited to read it? What the hell was I basing that on? I'm going to assume I was basing that on his friendship with Mindy Kaling. I guess I thought that since her book was so good - well, maybe she would only surround herself with other great writers? I don't know. I hear how dumb that sounds.

Anyway, other than hating 99% of it - I did finish it. And here were my only favourite parts.

• "I have never understood flourless chocolate cake. Is flour such a bad thing? I mean, compared to the other things in a chocolate cake? Flour is probably the least unhealthy thing I can think of in chocolate cake. Is that supposed to be the point? That the whole cake is just all eggs and sugar and butter? And anyway, who cares? It's chocolate cake. We know it's not a health food. Use whatever ingredients you want. All it has to do is taste good. We don't need to know how you did it - just make it."
• The fact that he allotted an entire paragraph (and page) describing the typeface he used in the book. Man, I just loved that. Love type talk.

That's it. That's all I enjoyed. And that's pretty sad considering that first bullet point essentially sounds like a recycled and/or modernized version of a Woody Allen bit.  

Booooooooo / 10