The Simpsons

ON STAGE
Principal Skinner: Welcome to the world premiere of The Nice Man Giveth!

IN AUDIENCE
Mr. Burns: Ugh. FOCUS!
Smithers: It's a play, sir. 

The Things We Should Have Learned In High School

This post could also be known as The Things They Should Have Taught Us In High School but I can't agree on who's precisely to blame here, so I'm blaming us all.

I'm not saying that the things we're taught in high school and college are useless - some of those things are crazy important to know. But we're definitely not being groomed to be fully functioning adults by the time they let us out on our own at around age 22, if not at a younger age.

In a perfect world, these are the courses they should have made us take.

• Doing Your Taxes 101
• Internships: A Modern Slavery
• Making Friends As An Adult
• The Ins and Outs of a Mortgage
• Cleanliness and You: The Study of Personal Hygiene
• The Convergence of Love And Sex
• Interpreting Family Relationships
• The Normalization of Drug Dependency
• How To Date Many People Before Committing To Marriage
• Adult Onset Body Image Issues
• Balancing A Work Life and A Social Life
• The Wonders of Travel
• Career Change in Unstable Economies
• Understanding Divorce
• Kindness: A Gentle Analysis
• Healthy Meal Planning
• The Struggles of Depression
• The Realities of Single Parenthood
• Body Maintenance
• The Glorification of Alcohol
• Finance Organization
• The Exploration of Alternative Lifestyles
• Managing Unemployment
• Dealing With Emotional Unavailability
• The Importance of Debt
• Child Development (yes this exists, IN CHILD STUDIES PROGRAMS, but everyone needs this course)
• The Effects of Grief
• Maintaining A Savings Account
• Elderly Planning

If we were exposed to any of these classes growing up, who knows what kind of a society we'd get to live in now. I'm just saying.

A math teacher once told me why he thought kids would benefit from taking math (and I'm talking about the more advanced math that gets taught in the later years of high school). He said something along the lines of, "We don't teach it because you need to know this stuff later. We teach it solely because people find it difficult. You're going to encounter difficult things in your life and it ultimately comes down to how you're going to choose to solve them. Whether you give up or try the best you can to figure it out, that's always up to you. That's why math is important." 

Now maybe you think that's a lame thought, but I really loved it and still do. Though, we'd have all definitely benefited from any of those courses I listed above. When I'm running the world, you better be damn sure those are getting taught. MAD TAUGHT.

Chicken and Broccoli Stir Fry

Apparently even bad cooks know how to make stir fry - or at least that's what I've been told. I started making them for the first time this summer and I think I get why people say that now. They're RIDICULOUSLY EASY TO MAKE and almost impossible to screw up. Did everyone already know that fact but me?

Here's an adapted recipe that I can't stop making.

Photo Credit: what2cook.net

Ingredients

1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast, cut into 1-inch pieces
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 tablespoon finely grated or chopped ginger (it's easier to keep ginger in the freezer (thank you, Marla!) and then you can grate it frozen whenever a recipe calls for it)
1 cup chicken broth
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoons sugar
2 cups broccoli flowerets - or a whole bunch, I never measure out broccoli because I'm not a serial killer
2 teaspoons cornstarch

Instructions

Spray a 12-inch nonstick skillet (ie. a deep-ass pan) with cooking spray. Heat over medium-high heat. Add chicken, garlic and ginger. Fry until chicken is brown. 
Add 3/4 cup of the broth, the soy sauce and sugar. Cover and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes, stirring twice.
Add broccoli. Cover and cook about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
In a separate bowl, mix cornstarch with remaining 1/4 cup broth, then stir that into chicken and broccoli. Cook, stirring frequently, until sauce is thickened. Serve over rice.

Can't tell you how good this tastes. You can find the original recipe here, but I prefer the adapted one above. 

The Flower District in NYC

If you ever find yourself in Chelsea in the early morning, please walk on over to West 28th Street between Sixth & Seventh Avenues. You shall find the ever-lovely flower district of New York City.

This entire block (both sides) consists of a community of plant wholesalers and retailers who distribute to the majority of New York restaurants, hotels and any place that might contain a vase or two.

I've gone a few times now and the very best time to go, unfortunately, is around 5am. That's when all the deliveries get made and that's when the street smells its very sweetest. Also, not a whole hell of a lot of people are up at that time, so you kind of get to have it all to yourself in a small way. It's definitely one of the best sights I've come to experience about this city thus far. 

I've read that the district has been around since the 1890's, and on some shops you can still see the covered up signs of years past (and you know how I feel about old-ass signage). 

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(Sidenote: How is it possible that a font can signify a completely different era? And why would you want to change such gorgeous printing? Did they not know at the time how gorgeous it was? Am I only thinking it's so alluring because I wasn't alive for it? Man, I love font talk. I took a class on typography and fonts in college and I beamed for four consecutive months in that classroom. LOVE FONT TALK.)

Anyway, check this area out if you can. The closer to 5am that you can get there, the better. As the day goes on, the flowery smells die down and that familiar, musky New York scent seeps back in.

TD Bank Gives Away Gifts

I'm not saying TD Bank is an institution full of heroes or this isn't a gimmicky thing to do - I'm saying this did make me smile for a minute. 

“Don’t eat on patios in NYC at night. Garbage bags line the streets and cockroaches roam freely. It’s gross. Eat indoors, maniac.”

— #lizadvice

Simpsons Wine

These bottles are gorgeously designed and I want them. That is all.

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Old Signs on New York Buildings

I bloody love faded company/warehouse signs like this one. It's insane that after decades they're still visible. There aren't a ton left, but if you look really hard around the city you'll be able to find some. Love, love, love them. 

Song That Won't Quit

It won't, I'm telling you. IT WON'T QUIT. Love it so much.