Holy shit, I just remembered this Canadian game show that I loved when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure it was like a version of the Newlywed game (where contestants guess the answers of their partner) but with siblings instead of couples and kids instead of adults. And uhhhh it was fantastic. I always dreamt of being on it with one of my brothers. God, it was such a good show. And there are episodes on YouTube! Ahhhh!
The Rules of Being Late
Look, it's going to happen. You will be late at some point. Here's what to do when that happens.
Sincerely apologize. Express human remorse for wasting someone else's time.
If you decide that you want to give an excuse for your lateness, explain it briefly and move on. Excuses are fine, but long excuses? They're typically boring and no one cares. Just own up and repeat #1.
If you're more than twenty minutes late, buy that person something. A drink. A chocolate. Something. It's kind and really lets the person know that you're sorry and that you don't take them for granted. No one wants to feel like that loser who's waiting for some rube to show up. It's a shitty feeling.
Believe that you can do better next time. Make an effort to specifically not be late the next time you see that person.
Never believe or say the phrase, "I'm always late." Why? If you say this to another human being, and expect to have any ounce of respect thrown your way, you're a maniac. You have control over being on time or late. You do. We all do. We also set expectations for ourselves, and if this is what you're declaring about your own character? Wow. You deserve unhappiness. You really do. It's also abnormal to blindly just accept this trait. Not only do you have low expectations of yourself, but you're also telling others that their time isn't as important as yours - which is wildly obnoxious. If you've said this statement to people, you should consider yourself lucky that you have any friends at all.
Can people change? Can the consistently-late people of this world change? I have to believe they can. I've been late before and I'll be late again. But if I'm ever KNOWN for that behaviour? Someone lock me up. It's so arrogant to be confident in one's lateness and to just assume others will adjust to it. That kind of selfishness is what turns people into serial killers. Right? Too much? No, I'm right.
Also? If you think I'm talking about you specifically, that's hilarious. I can picture a few certain people I know reading this and thinking, "Yikes, she wrote this based on me" - maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. I guess we'll never know.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Bill Cunningham & The Blizzard
Remember Bill Cunningham? He's back. And cuter than before.
“Idea: use orange slices, instead of lemon or lime wedges, in water at home. Tastes amazing!”
Hahah
Etsy Opens First Shop
Etsy's first store opened recently in the basement of Macy's in Herald Square, and its theme will be refreshed every two months. Why would anyone have thought this was a good idea? Yeah, I don't know. Isn't Etsy known for being completely unassociated with anything currently in a retail space? Isn't that why people like it? Why would it ever need an actual storefront?
Is it just me or is this like having an actual eBay storefront? What's the point? It seems like such a weird, dumb idea. I know Macy's is struggling - and with ideas like this one, I can see why.
Mom Says
“If a robin flies into a room through a window, death will shortly follow.”
Hathaway Sport Winter Leggings
Available at Costco
Available at Costco
I have owned two pairs of these Costco leggings for the past three years and they are worn out as shit. Why? I have worn them, almost exclusively, throughout the months of December, January, February and March - almost every single day of those months (if that sounds like a gross statement to you, maybe I'm exaggerating... and if that isn't a gross statement to you, I'm definitely not exaggerating). So I think it's perfectly acceptable that they're a little tattered at this point. (But fret not, new ones are the way, thank you, Marla!)
I received them as a gift (from Harmeet) and at first thought to myself, "Why the hell would I wear these bland-ass-looking, thick leggings? I have a million leggings that are way nicer and more colourful. What is she thinking giving these to me?" And then I tried them on one cold night and they blew my face off they were so comfortable and flattering. I swear to you, if you give these a shot, you will not be disappointed.
Also: don't judge people who buy clothes at Costco, it's rude.
“Reality only reveals itself when it is illuminated by a ray of poetry.”
The People Who Pick The Oscar Nominations
I love this so much.