If I'm not blowing your mind with how many books I've been reading lately, then you're impossible to impress.
I'm not a huge fan of Jim Gaffigan, to be honest I think I've seen his standup maybe twice and thought that he was as good as anyone else? That sounds mean, but it's really not intended to. In any case, I like reading comedian's books. I had planned on reading his first book Dad Is Fat, but after reading the description... ugh, I really didn't want to read a book about fatherhood. Thankfully, his second book seemed more up my alley. Best parts ahead.
- "I think crudités is a French term meaning "toss in le garbage at end of le party."
- "I don't think fish even like fish. That is why fish are always frowning. "What's that smell? Oh, it's me. I'm a fish. Ugh." "
- "My brother Mike, like many other pickup truck owners, never seems to be picking anything up in his pickup. I find this confusing. It's like walking around with a big empty piece of luggage. "Are you about to travel somewhere?" "No, but I'm the type of guy who would." "
- "There should be way more poetry written about cheeseburgers."
- "If you are eating fries, you definitely are treating yourself. I think we should just rename taking vacations to "eating French fries." French fries are like Crocs. You know you shouldn't, but your life is pretty much over anyway."
- "Apart from its ill-fated name and frightening body, everything about the crab as a creature is creepy. It only moves sideways. To the right and then jerking to the left. It always looks like it's trying to avoid an awkward situation. "Uh-oh. I owe that guy money," as he sidesteps away."
All in all, it was an all right book. Honestly the idea of an entire book being about what one guy thinks of different kinds of food is amazing. I just wish I liked Jim Gaffigan more.
I really wanted to love this book because this is the first I've read of his, but I can't say that I did. Sure, there were a few parts I liked, but to be honest it wasn't that enjoyable to read. He sort of drones on and on about various things that I have no interest in. That sentence reads harsher than intended, but what can you do. In any case, here were the highlights.
- When speaking of his jazz-loving father and how he tried to get his children to love jazz as much as he did: "Aside from replaying the tune on your own instrument, how could you prove you were really listening? It was as if he expected us to change color at the end of each selection."
- When he described his father's excitement at all of his children learning instruments and creating a jazz band together: "You certainly couldn't accuse him of being unsupportive. His enthusiasm bordered on mania." - Hahahahah, "mania."
- "And then, eventually, the New York skyline would appear on the horizon and we'd all stop talking. If you happen to live there, it's always refreshing to view Manhattan from afar. Up close the city constitutes an oppressive series of staircases, but from a distance it inspires fantasies of wealth and power so profound that even our communists are temporarily rendered speechless."
- This next excerpt from the book just really made me laugh and I scanned it and printed it mainly so I could send it to my Dad who'll go nuts for it:
- When talking about NYC's motto: "I don't speak Latin but have always assumed that the city motto translates to either Go Home or We Don't Like You, Either."
All in all, not a huge fan of his so I don't think I'll read any more by him. But I will seek out his sister Amy Sedaris since all of his anecdotes about her were hysterical. Plus I've always intended to read something from her anyway so it's about time.
I did Nathan’s podcast again! Talking The Problem With Apu & more!
My favourite time of year has arrived. What's that? I say that constantly? Why the hell isn't it acceptable to have winter, spring and autumn all be tied for your favourite season? I can't choose! And I shouldn't have to. Why do I love it so much? Just a few reasons?
The buds of flowers because sometimes the buds are better than the bloom. So much more to anticipate when it's just the buds
The birds in the morning
So much more sun, but with none the unsightly sweatiness
Baseball's back
Here's what I'd love to do over the next few months.
Jog outdoors.
Go to a baseball game.
Plan a spring break vacation.
Bake a decadent spring cake.
See A Quiet Place.
Spring clean each room in the house.
Take Baby Dog to Boris & Horton.
Help plant something.
Buy a new swimsuit.
Take a bike ride.
WE SHALL SEE WHAT GETS DONE!
I'm always shocked when winter ends. Everyone complains about it so much that I think it'll never end because we all can't shut up about it, but here we are! Here's how my many things I actually did off of my winter list from December.
1. Drink a white Russian.
- Didn't do it. Damnit! Every time I'd try to get myself psyched up to do it, I'd remember, "Ugh. All that cream, who needs it." Maybe some day!
2. Play board games with the family at Christmas.
- Did it! And it was great.
3. Finally eat at Raclette in NYC.
- Didn't do it. Excuse? You really need someone who's equally passionate about cheese to go to this place with.
4. Visit the new Oscar Wilde inspired bar.
- Yikes, didn't do this one either. What's wrong with me? I need to make more attainable goals. And if you're sitting there thinking, "Jesus Liz, if one of your "goals" is to go to a fucking bar and you can't even do that, YIKES. Ya suck!" then, well, kindly please leave.
5. Build a snowman.
- Okay, so I didn't do this but I did witness it being done. I'm taking a half point.
6. Finally try whipped cream vodka in a hot chocolate.
- Did it! It was just okay.
7. Successfully make a souffle for the first time.
- Totally did it! With Marla! And it was magical as hell! Maybe the most impressive dessert I've ever made. It tasted as though a cake had a baby with a mousse and out came a souffle - and I'm not sure if that's what it was supposed to taste like, but it was pretty good to me. I also made a creme caramel for the first time, so maybe I should have more food based goals.
8. Take at least five bubble baths.
- Yes! I think I may have even taken six, so suck on that! (Why is this attitude happening? Not sure.)
9. Literally just sit and watch the snow fall.
- Yes, of course. These are the types of activities that need to make appearances on all my lists, the easy ones that require little to no effort and give me an abnormal amount of pleasure.
10. Mail out holiday cards.
6.5 out of 10, whoa! That's better than I thought I'd do. Look at that! Spring list coming tomorrow!
