How do I even start this? Why am I even writing this? Does any of this matter? I don’t know.
Life is not normal anymore and I don’t know when it will be. That sentence alone makes me want to bury myself underneath a blanket with Baby Dog and never come out. There have been such nice, calming days mixed with insane, sleepless nights and I can’t find a balance and I guess nobody can and we’re all in this together. So what are you supposed to do? Stay home. Eat everything. Listen to music you love. Watch things that make you happy. Write to people who care for you. Read things that can uplift you or help you escape. And in the meantime, I guess I’m here to tell you what I loved and hated over the past month. Behold the best meme I’ve seen in a long time.
NOTE: All of the things below that involved me leaving my house happened before March 15th when life in NYC was still semi-normal.
I finally went for dinner at I Sodi and it was disappointing! What the fuck! This isn’t rocket science but why would cold bread be served in a covered basket? Shouldn’t warm bread be covered? For christ’s sake, just throw the bread at me if it’s cold. Also, a good steak tartare doesn’t need any lettuce accessories, get the fucking leaves off of the plate, please. And their lasagna? Yikes. It was overcooked and it felt like eating a sad book. Will not return. (Ugh, even if I wanted to return I can’t.)
I had a slice at Best Pizza Shop in Astoria and it was great! Love a Detroit style slice.
I made it over to Comfortland in Astoria and their crullers were delicious.
I finally tried the birthday cake at Momofuku Milk Bar and my god… the vanilla one (which is even better than the chocolate) is probably the best cake I’ve ever had. You can get them by the slice at their flagship store in NYC or you can be ambitious as hell and make one at home.
The cannoli cream cheese at Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company in Astoria is a problem, don’t try it or you’ll forever be in love.
President of Ireland Michael D. Higgins' dog enters room of 100 people to look for his owner, walks through everyone to find him, is very happy to do so and demands a belly rub during an official eventpic.twitter.com/mKRxSc6w7P
a sequel/update/remake of the 2008 jim carrey movie YES MAN called NO WOMAN, about a woman who challenges herself to say "no" to everything for an entire year and her life becomes amazing because of it
Some much needed comic relief through these dark times. This man in Italy insists on going out to get coffee. Watch the video to see where he goes 😂 pic.twitter.com/4qV6pGJUgn
I watched the (Hulu) Hillary documentary online and it was phenomenal. Everyone should see it.
I chose the Briogeo birthday gift from Sephora and MAN was that the wrong choice. It lasts for two showers! What the hell! I should’ve went with the Milk one. Don’t make my mistake. Oh! And if your birthday falls within the quarantine, just go online to get your birthday gift because they have free shipping right now with the code FREESHIP and you’ll have to buy something since they won’t allow a cart with no total amount, but the cheapest thing you can buy are the mini Sephora Collection cleansing wipes which are $2. So spending $2.19 (tax included) for a birthday gift, makeup wipes and two samples is still pretty good, in my opinion.
On the other hand, the birthday gift from Ulta is incredible. It’s full size and it’s just a great face scrub. It’ll definitely last at least six months, and I like it so much that I might buy another one when it’s done. Sephora could really learn some things from Ulta.
Other than listening to The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack on repeat, I really love this song. Ignore the title.
Nathan and I attempted to rewatch Final Destination and just couldn’t. There are certain movies you just can’t watch at this point in time.
We watched Ticks as well and that was somehow more of an enjoyable time.
Also watched They Live, which I can’t believe I’d never seen before. It’s like a longer Twilight Zone episode, which means it was great.
So incredibly sad to hear about Gotham Bar & Grill. Their food was incredible.
One thing that I’ve started to do is watch food clips in the morning right after I wake up. It’s better than checking your email. It’s better than reading the news. It’s better than anything you’re currently doing. Here’s what I watched this morning.
Had lunch at Astoria Provisions and the food was as good as I hoped. The service was lovely, too.
I made a deconstructed poutine at home on my birthday and it was perfect. I cooked the potatoes, then I spread the curds on top and baked those to melt it a bit. And then I made the gravy and kept the gravy in a separate bowl for dunking. Nothing got soupy or gross! The fries stayed crispy! It was genius, I say.
Why haven’t I always bought my bedsheets at Marshalls? I got a lovely Kate Spade set for $40, which is a deal.
Another incredible New Yorker cover.
By Eric Drooker
I haven’t really attempted to watch any whole episodes of any of the late night talk shows lately but the fact that Jimmy Fallon has his wife filming it and his kids in it is really cute.
I went to Fantasy Explosion in Brooklyn and it was great, wish they had more stuff but what they do have is wicked.
I finished watching the new season of On My Block and just wow (spoilers ahead). Here are my thoughts: I love Jasmine so much and I wish she was the main star of the show, Jamal having sex like that was so weird and abnormal I was almost confused by it, the scene with Spooky and his dad made me cry and I fucking sobbed at the ending.
I love this little girl and this video.
Nathan has been putting this Frank’s Red Hot powder on popcorn and even though I’m not a huge hot sauce fan, this tastes incredible.
I’m still so in love with the drying cream from Mario Badescu. It’s magical. I put it on at night when I feel a pimple brewing beneath the surface and by morning it’s no more.
I’m attempting to learn all of the capitals of every country. I’m always impressed when someone knows the capital of some far off, distant place and now I shall impress myself.
I watched Mommy Dead and Dearest and it was good, but also so upsetting and awful as a story.
Last night the Empire State Building debuted a flashing red and white light display on its mast, “an effect intended to represent America’s heartbeat.”
If you live in Mississauga, The Apple Market (by Camilla Public School) can pull your grocery order for you and you can pick it up curbside if you email them your grocery list to info@theapplemarket.ca - thank you for telling me about this, Marla! It’s eons faster than other major grocery stores are right now, and you’re also helping out a small business, so definitely look into it if you’re interested.
The restaurant Vesta in Astoria is giving out free meals to any laid off restaurant workers in the neighborhood, which is so generous and amazing, love that place, details below.
I went over what I did from my winter list of things to do.
I went on Nathan’s podcast twice and baby you’re gonna be hearing me lots more on it in the coming weeks.
I’m a maniac so I made a spring list of things I want to do.
Things that I’m looking forward to this month: I got a gift card to Sephora from my brother and sister-in-law so I’ll definitely use that (looking for recommendations of new things to try, thinking of getting more Drunk Elephant products since I’ve loved the samples I’ve had in the past), watching more Elaine and Puddy episodes of Seinfeld, I keep thinking of starting Friday Night Lights again but there are so many other things to watch so I can’t decide, I think I’ll write another quarantine ideas list since I keep thinking of more things to add on, and oh can we cancel April Fools Day this year? Nobody needs it right now.
It seems almost insane to have a list of fun things to do this season when we need stay inside for the safety of ourselves and of others. And yet, here I am! So I’ve come up with some things that are appropriate for right now. I encourage you to make a list of your own, as always, because we all need things to look forward to, I can’t imagine not looking forward to anything.
Sit on my fire escape. We haven’t done this once since we moved in last May and I’ve always wanted to. What better time than now.
Bake something spring inspired.
Rewatch my favourite Hitchcock movies. I was a huge fan of his when I was younger and I haven’t watched any of his movies in years, so I’ve been really wanting to lately. Nathan and I watched The Birds the other night and it’s such a good, calming movie (I know it’s about birds attacking and killing people, but there’s no background music in the whole movie and it’s just so gentle without being terrifying).
Try some new hairstyles and new makeup routines. I (like many women) get into such a basic routine when it comes to hair and makeup and I want to venture outside of that.
Watch at least ten things off of my To Be Watched list of movies and TV shows. I’ve had a growing list on my phone of recommendations from other people for years and even though some of them get watched, I really should make more of an effort.
Nathan has started video recording his podcasts! There’s a clip (above) from the latest one, with more clips coming soon. He just started a YouTube channel (finally), so if you subscribe to anything on YouTube then I suggest you venture on over and take a look! Full podcast below. And you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Well, that was complete bullshit. Where in the FUCK was winter? ‘CAUSE IT WASN’T IN NYC. This was originally a very angry post, but anger is not what is needed at this time, so it was heavily edited.
I went! I thought it was going to be a regular sized store, but it was a tiny corner in a weird little mini-mall space. Even still, they had great stuff. If I ever find myself in Brooklyn again in this lifetime, I’ll return!
Damnit, I didn’t do this one. I did keep checking their listings and nothing seemed appealing! I should have put more effort in, though, and just went to see one of the Nicholas Cage movies from the past month. This is my fault.
Irene and I went! And it was… disappointing! Food was average and the service wasn’t even amazing and it’s a little pretentious and WAY too expensive for what it is. Maybe the build-up in my mind was too high?
Start a binder full of ideas for the big Euro trip in June and July.
Ugh, I did start doing this but with the state of the world, who knows what will happen throughout the next few months. But since I hate that kind of thinking, I’ll continue to add to this binder because that’s what you do when you’re faced with obstacles, you press on and hope for the very best.
Take at least five bubble baths.
So I took four. Not bad. but not perfect. To be fair, this decade hasn’t gotten off to the greatest start, so I haven’t exactly felt like I could bask in a bubble bath most nights.
So all in all, I got 3 out of 5. Not terrible! Christ, now I have to come up with a Spring List. It’ll have to be Spring 2020 appropriate too, like making a dress out of leftover plastic bags or some shit. All right, I’m gonna go brainstorm.
Well, here we are! How did we get here? When will normal life return? I’ve got zero answers for you. All I can offer you are some ideas of what you can do now that you’re at home. Let’s do this.
Put music (that you enjoy) on in the background of your house in the morning or in the evening as a way to single out the start or end of the day. Maybe this sounds dumb, but it really helps break up times of the day. (Lately I’ve been in a very nostalgic mood and I’ve been listening to old Smashing Pumpkins albums I haven’t listened to in about twenty years, it’s been really nice.)
Watch episodes of TV shows that you’ve already seen and loved. There’s something nice about not just binging certain new shows but instead watching things that have already made you happy in the past. Or maybe that’s just me. Are you seeing a pattern here with me and the past? Fuck am I depressed?
If that show or movie you really want to watch isn’t available on any of your streaming services, I use putlockers.chat pretty regularly and it’s been great. I think it works whatever country you’re in.
If you’ve ever been a fan of The Simpsons, I have cultivated a favourite episodes list from over the years that I’d happily send anyone looking for especially good episodes to watch. Tell me your favourite character and I can tailor the list to their best episodes.
Call people. It’s so weird and great that it’s becoming socially acceptable to call people again (and not just text). Call even if you have nothing to say.
Improvise with your cooking habits. I usually follow every single instruction when I’m reading a recipe, so this one was hard for me to try. I did it yesterday though and it worked out great! You just have to make sure you’re trying out ingredients that you already love, and then incorporate them with regular old recipes.
Take more photos of your pets and send them to me. Or your other friends. Definitely me, though.
Write letters to your people and mail them. I’ll continue to love doing this until I’m dead in the ground since it really does make me happy. Even if all you have to write is a tiny little update. Be honest about how you’re feeling in this crazy time and share it with someone you love. This kind of thing helps me more than so many other things.
I started a Things That Made Me Laugh highlight reel on my Instagram and fuck I wish every single person I knew had one of these. I’d watch them endlessly. Love seeing what other people laugh at. (Sorry about my laugh in all of the videos. It doesn’t get cuter with time.)
Do face masks, hair masks, do your fingernails and toenails (BEGGING Nathan to do this with me), make an at-home body scrub out of stuff definitely in your kitchen. Yes this stuff is boring, but it make you feel so fucking together sometimes.
If you find yourself reading or listening to the news too much, literally just turn your phone off for an agreed upon time. Like, actually turn it off. Don’t put it on silent or Do Not Disturb, turn that fucker off. You’re allowed.
Try not to wear the same pajamas every day. Just for your sanity. And the sanity of anyone in your home who has to look at you. It’s exhausting to see the same tattered gym shorts daily on someone you love.
I write this from underneath two blankets, perched atop three pillows. This is day three of being sick (Nathan just joined me in illness yesterday) and I think I’m getting better but that could just be blind hope. In any case, I still have to tell you what went on last month. Forgive the tone of this post, it might be… affected.
I heard that Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are going to be in the Paul Simon play Plaza Suite together and so I casually thought “Ooo, might be nice to catch” so I looked it up and tickets START at $700. So I guess fuck me then. I swear to god, this fucking city.
The best cover so far this year:
Brian Stauffer, The New Yorker
I rewatched a movie I love: The Door In The Floor and it really holds up well. Kim Basinger and Jeff Bridges and both too good at what they do. Love this movie so much.
I rewatched The Evil Dead and look I understand it’s probably a “good horror movie” especially for its time and budget, but I fucking hated it, maybe even more so than the last time that I saw it. Never again. Why do I keep rewatching things that I hate? I don’t have to like everything. I must repeat this to myself daily.
I had lunch at Daily Provisions and their lemon cruller was really good and light and the chicken club sandwich was good, too. Always a solid morning/afternoon place.
Don’t be concerned if people don’t like you. Yesterday I heard a man say he hated JLo because she “just seems so pleased with herself.” You’re fucked. We’re all fucked. C’est la vie, fuckfaces.
A dude on the subway started talking to the passengers about PARASITE and class relations and how proud he was as a Korean that it won the Oscar. Then:
“I submit to you that there is another kind of parasite: people who do not believe in God.”
Writing Tip #14: If you are writing a long piece and become bogged down in the middle, put it away in a drawer for three or four years. When you come back to it, you won't care.
I tried Trader Joe’s Whole Wheat Couscous and maaaaan, it was so good. So I guess all couscous is good? Gotta get my hands on that pearly couscous. That seems like the money cousocus.
I made this Greek Couscous Salad for lunches for a week and didn’t get sick of it at all, I gotta remember to keep this in the rotation. I also kept the salad and the couscous separate until I wanted to eat, and then I’d join them together.
I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this sketch before (calling someone a “goofy bitch” just about killed me), also ignore how bad an actress Cardi B is:
I finished watching The Good Place and yes it was a good show. I don’t think l liked it as much as pretty much everyone else in my life who loved it, but it was definitely a good show. This scene was the best part of the finale, for sure. That song used in the scene will always elicit tears, I remember falling in love with it when it was used in the movie that everyone hated but me, Swept Away.
Again, I visited Everlane and it still disappoints. Why do I keep thinking it’ll be different each time? What the fuck is wrong with me?
I saw Parasite and it was wonderful and everyone who hasn’t seen it should see it. I haven’t heard from one person who didn’t like it. Universally liked!
I listened to the new Strokes single and hated it, so that’s something. Growth?
Why isn’t everyone putting pickles on grilled cheese? Makes no sense. Fucking taste explosion.
I finally tried the (off-menu, must be requested when it’s not brunch) Cacio E Pepe at L’Artusi and holy christ, it might be better than their mushroom ragu. I KNOW. Such wild developments! (They also started serving at lunch, but only lunch delivery, not dine-in. SO this means nothing to me.)
I think I will officially stop buying candles from Bath & Body Works. The ones at Marshalls are cheaper, last longer and the variety of scents is endless. I have a candle from Marshalls right now simply called STORM and it really does kinda smell like stormy weather. Obviously I’m waiting for a thunderstorm to light that mother. I have mental issues?
I watched the newest season of Shrill (no big spoilers ahead) and loved it, obviously. The disappointing-ness of parents is so nicely shown (that moment at the restaurant when she asks her dad what he thinks of her boyfriend and he’s so indifferent, ugh so perfect), I absolutely LOVED the wedding episode (infact all of the episodes following that one are the best ones, I think I just love the episodes not centered about this not-great relationship with her and her boyfriend), the WEHAM episode is perfect (finally someone making fun of makeup for for legs), and I continue to love the character Fran. Really hoping for a third season, especially based on the season finale.
Don’t ask me why, but I watched most of the Police Academy movies and I think the Miami one might be the best one?? I couldn’t make it twenty minutes into the Moscow one, so I feel like you might want to trust me when I say that I know what I’m talking about.
Cannot get over the beauty of these women and these outfits.
Camila Mendes
Nyma Tang
I watched the Michelle Carter documentary and I don’t know how other people feel, but it’s absolutely unreal that she was found guilty. Of course Nathan disagrees.
I ate at Frank for the first time in over a decade with the one and only Irene and it’s still great. Love that they do the opposite of al dente pasta here. Photos below.
Tagliatelle special
Roasted garlic bread
Mushroom pappardelle special
I can’t find a link for them online, but I bought some reusable Leak Proof Snack Bags by Kitchen Details at Nordstrom Rack and they’re perfect since we typically use a million of those disposable ones for holding sunflower seeds and almonds
I threw out a lot of clothing/shoes/bags, so I went out and bought some things that I absolutely love. I now have a faux fur, brown evening coat that I’ve long dreamed of owning, a new everyday purse, a vintage, gold, mesh evening purse, new everyday shoes, more sunglasses and some new wedges that may or may not replace the older wedges I’ve had since 2006 (the ones lovingly referred to as my Terminators because of the massive fall that I took in them upon exiting the movie Terminator Salvation). I could show you all of the new pieces, but I’d much rather slide into a room you’re in to show you my new fur coat. However if it annoys you not to see any of these new things that bring my joy, here are two of them.
Classic Reeboks from DSW
I also got them in blue
I’ve actually started using tiny drops of facial oil mixed with my nighttime face lotion and even though I’ve only just started to do this, my face is already way less dry when waking up. I don’t know if I can do this in the hotter weather, but for now I’ll keep it up.
I went to Giorgio’s of Gramercy again (the last time was a few years ago with Nathan) and it’s still great! I haven’t had a steak in awhile, but the one here? Holy hell. Magnificent.
I went to see the new Kubrick 2001 exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image and it was pretty neat. They have one of his Oscars on display in a case, which was actually really cool to see.
So Nathan and I are in the middle of watching McMillion$ and can I just say: boooooooooooooooo. I’ve never seen a “documentary” more over-produced, self-indulgent, superfluous and WILDLY overdone. It’s a bloody six part series that could’ve EASILY been an hour and a half movie. If you ever need proof of a documentary having too much money spend, my god have you found it. Of COURSE Mark Wahlberg has something to do with it, this man needs to fucking STOP. I know they are countless other men attached to the project too, but it’s much easier to shit on just him. God, what a waste of time. The Wikipedia page is more succinct.
I watched To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before 2: P.S. I Still Love You and it was everything I wanted it to be and more. Loved the Adventures in Babysitting reference right off the top (I’ll forever love that movie and it doesn’t get talked about enough), I loved pretty much every musical choice (these are my topthreesongs from the movie), and I loved the idea of doing another Thanksgiving in March (although I’m pretty sure Chrissy Teigen did this a few years ago and planted that great seed in my head). Definitely the best thing on Netflix at the moment.
Nathan and I went to the Raptors game that ended their winning streak, sorry about that.
I’ve been consumed with reading so much stuff about what’s going on right now and this was a little helpful: 4 Practical Ways to Prepare Your Home for a Pandemic. Don’t judge me for sharing this link! I’m delirious.
Things that I’m looking forward to this month: visiting Collingwood and going skiing with my family, I might splurge and get that mini birthday cake from Momofuku Milk Bar, and the new season of On My Block comes out on the 11th. I’m pretty into the idea of turning 35, usually I’m more jacked about my birthday month but I think I’m too down to care at the moment. Caring coming soon.
