Remember when winter was here last and we were on full lockdown? And… here we are again? Maybe I shouldn’t have reminded you of that fact. But that being said, this winter list will be the most low maintenance list I’ve probably ever done because, well, that’s the law.
Build at least one snowman or snow-woman.
Arrange a decadent charcuterie board on New Year’s Eve.
If the city permits it, go ice skating.
Find a hill & sled down that hill.
Use up all of my winter stationary by sending out as much mail as my pen will allow me.
Wherever you are, I hope you’re staying warm and staying safe.
Winter is upon on! Yes, that seems insane, but what isn’t insane at this point in time? I normally would be excited about a season full of staying inside, but that’s all of our lives now… so… there’s that. Here’s how my autumn list turned out.
Make an apple dessert.
Truly forgot about this one since Thanksgiving was pretty much cancelled this year and Tianna wasn’t around to request that I make it.
Damnit, I forgot to do this one. I really want to one day.
Make homemade hot toddies.
I did and it was good, but it took waaaaay too long. Definitely a drink you order while you’re out somewhere so someone else has to make it.
Have the most epic Halloween possible since it falls on a full moon this year and that, my dear, is magical.
I did my absolute best and it went just as I’d hoped.
3/5 is respectable! It’s a miracle that I’m still writing and attempting these seasonal lists. I promise to take them even more seriously next year. Winter, here we go…
Wonderful, another month has come and gone. It’s hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood these days. I feel like all of my moods are sprinkled with bits of sadness since it’s been such a rough year on everyone. It seems hard to be hopeful and optimistic for the coming months because of everything that has gone on already, but I think I’ll continue on with my internal mantra of “fake it ‘til you make it” - that’s healthy, right? In any case, here’s what happened last month:
I usually don’t mention the things that I don’t do, but this one is notable: I didn’t have the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar this year (because I’m in Canada at the moment). So this is really just a reminder to myself to go hog-wild on them next November.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned them before, but the ready-made roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke? A PERFECT SANDWICH.
I rewatched the original (better) Jumanji and goddamit what a great movie. How did I forget what a perfect movie that was? Miss Robin Williams so much. Which reminds me: I gotta rewatch Jack soon (Coppola’s greatest movie, in my humble opinion). Haven’t seen that one in ages.
Love the new “Oat Milk Latte” nail polish colour at Urban Outfitters. Something about a boring neutral has been really turning me on lately.
The best new hand lotion I’ve used in a long time: this Kiehl’s Hand Salve. I put it on once in the morning and once before bed and it’s crazy how soft it makes them, even if you wash your hands numerous times a day (which, god, I hope you’re doing).
I know that I tend to live in the past at times, but are you ever needing to print some photos fast and don’t know where to get it done? Years ago, they had machines at Shoppers and then they disappeared. And I just discovered that Staples has those print-right-now machines! It takes seconds to print from your phone and it’s crazy cheap. I think you can only get 4 x 6 in size, but still. That’s great!
I’ll always love Cobs Bread (thanks to Marla years ago for introducing me) but I just tried their garlic focaccia and my god. Heavenly. It also makes a great base for any kind of at-home grilled cheese or even an at-home garlic bread using garlic butter.
So I tried the Popeye’s chicken sandwich that people were stabbing each other for and… I fully understand the murdering mentality. It’s an incredible chicken sandwich. I was expecting not to understand the hype, but here I stand before you, four chicken sandwiches deep.
I’ve been consistently using the Luna Night Oil from Sunday Riley (a small version that came with a gift set) and I think it’s really working well. My skin looks amazing in the morning after each use. So I might bite the bullet and buy the full size when I run out.
Just so sad to see this man pass away.
And I can’t forget this great one, too.
I simply cannot stop ordering the vegetable fried rice from Fortune Dragon in Mississauga. Can’t and WON’T.
I had such a terrible experience using Skip The Dishes the other night (there was a problem with an order and the restaurant refused to fix the problem and I was on the phone with STD (hahah, can we all call them this from now on PLEASE) for over an hour, just disgusting). So now they’re banned in our house.
And speaking of annoying food experiences, Scaddabush got rid of the best sandwich on their menu. What. the. hell. It was a prosciutto cotto grilled cheese with Italian cured ham, caramelized onions, mozzarella, and fig jam on a focaccia bun and IT IS NO MORE. I did attempt to make it at home one night and it was actually really good, but still. Who wants to spend their evenings caramelizing onions for hours in the kitchen? Well, I do, for one. But regardless! Bad move, Scaddabush.
If you’re looking for a dog groomer in Mississauga, I can’t say enough good things about You Lucky Dog Grooming. They cut Baby Dog’s nails perfectly for $10 and it took less than five minutes. They were so gentle and caring, definitely only gonna go here from now on.
There were a few massive holes in the ceiling in my parents basement (an estimate said it would be $1000 to fix) so I went to Home Depot, got the supplies and did it myself. This is something I would never even want to do, let alone actually do, so the fact that it’s fixed now is insane. Here's what it looked like.
This whole job cost $17 from Home Depot. Nothing is impossible.
Yes, I love them. Yes, they look perfect every single day and that’s amazing. But no one tells you the cons, so let me tell you what they are.
Pressing buttons is an annoyance. The buttons of debit machines especially (I’ve incorrectly put in my pin about three times so far), but also remote controls and car radio dials.
Peeling onions or garlic. Or cutting anything on a cutting board in the kitchen, basically.
You know after a shower when you towel off the wet parts of the inside of your ears? Can’t be done.
All zippers and buttons add at least five minutes to your life.
Look, I’m not an animal but sometimes your nose needs a little cleaning when a tissue ain’t gonna cut it. That being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick your nose with these.
Typing at your regular speed.
Peeling clementines is simply out of the question (which is annoying because they’re so in season right now).
Putting on and taking off necklaces.
And most of all, yes you can still scratch parts of your body, but it’s an unfulfilling scratch. These nails aren’t as sharp as my real ones, so the scratch is lackluster.
That being said, I do love them. I’m not sure if I’ll get them again, but they’re beautiful and I can definitely see the appeal.
I watched a few episodes of Somebody Feed Phil with my brother Robbie and it’s a pretty cute show. I only watched the New York, New Orleans, Venice & San Francisco episodes, but I’m sure I’ll watch the rest soon. I think I liked it because the host really lets the guests be the charming, endearing ones, and most TV hosts aren’t very good at that.
So since we missed both Thanksgivings this year, we picked a random day to do our turkey dinner and this year I did the rub for the bird (Mom handled all the gross stuff) and it came out amazing! Also made my favourite salad dressing (love a shallot in a dressing), this perfect cranberry sauce and best garlic bread. And instead of a whole pie, we just got mini pumpkin tarts from Whole Foods. The next day, I finally made the moist maker sandwich (from Friends) and it turned out really well.
Turkey a la Liz
The leftover sandwich, the next day
Best tweets of the month ahead:
men be like ”I love a girl with confidence” and then destroys it
I see tweets like, “Dems are winning, act like it!” What these fail to take into account is the country’s on the verge of breaking up with an abuser. We’ve been bombarded, traumatized for 4 years. The joy of being out is tempered by uncertainty over whether it’s really over.
Good morning! If you only look at one map today, make it this one. This is what red/blue states really look like. Land doesn't vote. People do. #ElectionResults2020pic.twitter.com/dfpl4N2MLq
Someone wanna tell me why this (perfect) baby can talk on the phone in Japanese better than me even though I've been doing it longer!! 😭🥰 pic.twitter.com/gRVTWBgg2u
I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium. pic.twitter.com/P45HV1daD9
My wife was driving us home and said “the sky is so beautiful.” I pointed to a weird old man on the street and said “this guy?” Anyway if you were in the car you would’ve laughed.
i think society won't be satisfied with BEFORE & AFTER weight loss pictures until there's a woman on the left side & just an empty pile of clothes on the ground on the right side WOW WHAT'S HER SECRET?!
In college I have discovered that I actually have a passion for nothing. My dream job is no job and a mansion by the sea with lots of windows. Manifesting xoxo ✨
Let's be clear: Dolly Parton is a millionaire and not a billionaire because she *keeps giving money away*. Being a billionaire is a MORAL FAILING. She gives away shockingly large amounts of money every year and is STILL RICHER THAN YOU AND I WILL EVER BE.
— Jerome Comeau is social-media-distancing (@Heronymus) November 17, 2020
bring back landlines i wanna be on my phone while i’m on the phone
Truly one of the worst publishing decisions in a year of particularly bad decisions was allowing Cuomo to put out a book about how he solved COVID-19 for NY.
One thing no one ever talks about being an adult is how much time you debate yourself on keeping a cardboard box because it's, like, a really good box.
This is Khan. He’s the sneakiest shoe stealer on the planet. Has never ever been caught... until now. 14/10 (IG: khantheweenie) pic.twitter.com/qyAQzDWuju
It’s fuckin wild how the solution is as simple as “just pay places to be closed and pay people to stay home” and that’s been the solution this whole time and the government is just like “nah”
Pretty incredible that homelessness isn’t even a mainstream political issue at all. Neither party gives a shit. We could solve it tomorrow and wouldn’t even miss the money but there’s no profit in that so it’s not a possibility. One of the most glaring US human rights atrocities.
capitalism is the only system that works, which is why every viral tweet has a follow-up reply from the OP linking a gofundme for a close friend who is dying
We’re being held hostage by a psychopath in kitten heels and a fake tan and his lunatic lawyer with hair dye dripping down his face because some of you thought a woman would be too emotional to run the country.
Simply cannot stop thinking about a girl I knew who dated a guy she couldn’t STAND - all because his ex died in a plane crash, & her biggest fear was dying in a plane crash, & she figured there was no way the universe would let both of this guy’s girlfriends die in a plane crash
current government messaging is like don’t go out ❤️ but bars and restaurants are open ❤️ but don’t go there ❤️ but support local businesses and restaurants they need it ❤️ but again don’t go out ❤️
The government has had 6 months to prepare for a second wave and have done absolutely nothing. Now we are punishing small businesses and workers that will not survive while our leaders eat Arctic char indoors. This is genuinely an upside down backwards society.
Do other people’s Thanksgivings operate the way my house did where dinner might be ready any time between 3pm and 9:30pm and the people cooking get very angry if you ask
My kid just started watching freaks and geeks...without me. I always wanted to watch it with her. But I get it. Because even if you start out Kim fucking Kelly, eventually you just end up someone’s uncool mom. 😭
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: watching the new season of Big Mouth, doing the Polar Drive experience, there have been only two snowstorms so far and I can’t wait for more to come, and I’ve already started baking the chocolate chip Nutella cookies that I love to make this time of year but I want to try something new as well so I’m thinking about giving these ones a try. Christmas will of course be different this year, it’s looking like it’ll be me, my parents (since I’ve been staying here since October), Nathan & Baby Dog on Christmas morning, which actually seems like it might be kind of intimate and nice. It’ll feel wrong in certain ways because I love having my entire family here, but I’m going to try and make the most of it.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here.
To this day, the only poem that I have memorized is In Flanders Field by John McCrae. I don’t remember how old I was when I learned it, but it’s managed to stay in my brain. I hope kids are still being taught to learn it in elementary school.
“In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.”
Forgive the lateness of this monthly post! I wish I could say it’s late because I’ve been crazy busy, but it’s really been because I’ve been lounging my ass around various corners of my parent’s house and trying my best to not watch any American news. Here’s what went down last month.
I started watching The Parkers and, as expected, it’s pretty great. Kim for life.
I got a lash lift aaaaaand it was bullshit. My eyes have never been more irritated and that’s coming from someone who went through corneal surgery. I think lash lifts are supposed to be for people who already have long lashes. But if you have long lashes, then why the hell do you need them to be lifted? SCAM.
Are eyelash curlers bad for people with short lashes? I was told they were. But that was by someone who also recently fucked my lashes, so I’m not sure what to believe now.
So many new movies were watched in October: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely great), Motel Hell (also great), Moment of Truth: Stalking Back (too real, a little hard to watch, but I’m really looking forward to watching other made-for-tv-movies from the series), Hush (a great movie, but again: too much, I might not be able to handle modern horror & I’m fine with that), Summer Camp Nightmare (great), Goodnight Mommy (parts of it were really cringe-y to watch but it was incredible), Mom (so, so underrated), Wolf (it was actually pretty good, how on earth had I not seen it before?), House on Haunted Hill (the old version and it was great! It ends abruptly but it’s still a fun movie), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (80s as hell, but not as terrible as I thought it’d be), Creepshow 2 (just a good time), Frogs (terrible and not in a fun way), Cujo (just a story of neglectful pet owners), Night of the Demons (not bad, not good), This Is Paris (it was really, really good. It’s definitely hard to watch if you’ve dealt with abuse in any way, but it’s really well done) and I got through about nine minutes of Cats before I just had to call it.
Started getting the cashew yogurt from Trader Joe’s and it’s so addictive.
The new SNLs have been all right, nothing special. And look, I love Jim Carrey. Forever will. But he isn’t good as Biden. It’s such a weird choice. Highlight of the episodes this month? The Bieberperformances, surprisingly.
I made the Impossible Burger at home (you can buy them at any Fairway Market) and they’re absolutely the top veggie burger on the market today. So damn good.
There’s this restaurant in Mississauga (Erin Mills Pump & Patio) that does such a good job of replicating this now-off-menu pasta that I used to love from Snug Harbour and I’m so thankful to have found it. (It’s the Hunters Penne Pasta with chicken, cremini and shitake mushrooms, Italian parsley, black truffle oil in a white wine cream sauce incase you want to taste heaven.)
We went to Downey’s on Halloween this year and for the first time got their homemade cheese bread. Life will never be the same. Some photos of the day below.
The LCBO puts out a seasonal magazine with food and drink recipes that I looooove. One of my favourite magazines for sure.
I made a batch of hot ginger toddies and yes they were good but waaaay too high maintenance to make at home. It’s definitely a drink that’s easier to just order when out.
I made these ginger sesame noodles with caramelized mushrooms and wow. Definitely will make again. I’d never thought of having broth at the bottom of a bowl full of noodles, but it’s such a great idea.
If you watch it with the sound off, it looks like she's revealing to James Bond that she was on Goldfinger's side the whole time https://t.co/1Uy81p1fCc
I once had a coworker who had just moved here from France and she could not get over her horror that on Halloween we waste pumpkins by making lanterns out of them and not turning them into soup or whatever
Our whole lives we hear: Don't talk about your period. Don't talk about sex. Don't talk about infertility. Don't talk about miscarriage. Don't talk badly about a pregnancy. Don't talk about PPD. Don't talk about anything post-partum except the baby. Only a baby matters. Not you.
You don’t “make” $15/hr. You “make” 100s or 1000s of $$ worth of product each hour and sell it for $15 each hour. You didn’t make anything for yourself. You sold an hour of your life and your body for $15. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. Your labor value is getting stolen
— Bryan Lindstrom (he/him/we) (@BryanLindstrom4) October 11, 2020
Normalize starting over as many times as you need.
Just spoke to a friend who was beating herself up for not doing more with this year and I had to remind her (and myself) that we were only supposed to be doing this for 2 weeks! A month max! You didn't waste this year, it was stolen and anything you DID achieve is a miracle!
hey babe I really appreciate you taking birth control even if it fucks you up, it just feels really good on my penis to not wear a condom for the 15 minutes of sex we have twice a week
If you walk down the street and you're mad that people are living in tents, please direct your anger and effort towards creating a housing system that doesn't allow people to end up homeless because they lost a job, had medical debt, or faced a rent hike they couldn't afford.
i wonder if my cat ever looks at me while i’m sleeping and thinks “ok that is the cutest way i have ever seen someone sleeping in my life” or is it one sided
Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: reading Lindy West’s new book, decorating my parent’s house for the Christmas season, and SNOW.
