Men Have Called Her Crazy By Anna Marie Tendler - A Review
The only thing better than reading a comedian’s memoir? Reading the partner/ex-partner of a comedian’s memoir. Truly. I don’t know why exactly, but the partner of someone who’s had immense success/fame is usually ten times more interesting than the famous one. Practically always. And this memoir was fantastic. I had known so little about Anna Marie Tendler before reading this (I knew that she was John Mulaney’s beautiful ex-wife, that she designed lampshades and seemed like she wouldn’t have liked me in high school) but I’m grateful to have found this book. Favourite parts ahead.
“I cemented my role in relationships as a pleaser, a convincer, a girl, who, well into adulthood, would contort and conform to the desires of a man, overlooking his easy dismissal, and dampening her self-worth, all to be loved” - OOF, it that wasn’t me for all of my dating life.
The parallels of our two lives are fucking eerie (I know that’s interesting to no one other than me), but it’s weird that we both heard about 9/11 in a high school chemistry class. (I also agree with her about hot firefighters but that’s, like, a universal thought that you’d have to be a comatose to disagree with, so I won’t count that commonality.)
The entire part about her longterm therapist being so horrid to her was nuts to read. I loved it mainly because therapists are such trusted people and it’s insane to me that none of the terrible ones ever really get talked about that much.
“Why are women so fucking ashamed of ourselves? I blame men.” Perfect line. Wish it was the title of the whole book. I get why it wasn’t, but really wish it was.
Talking about a web series she did: “I simply got to show a weekly guest how to do one makeup trick and asked them to share a ghost story or paranormal encounter. When the web series aired, it was met with backlash from women, mostly moms, who insisted that a show about makeup was antithetical to the very ethos the website touted - that girls were smart - and the decision was made to stop making episodes. May we never forget that females cannot be intellectual and aesthetically minded at the same time.” I love this woman.
It’s crazy how much I agree with her thoughts on motherhood: “My reservations about motherhood have been shaped by my feelings about men, their general incompetence, their propensity toward selfishness, and their inability to empathize with the female experience. My obsession with equality in relationships restricts me from balancing the weight of what men put into child-rearing versus what women do. I wonder if it can ever be equal. I feel instinctually it can’t, while also recognizing that instinct might be wrong.”
“I know mothers feel excluded from life too. I guess that’s the paradox of being a woman: no matter what path you choose, chances are you’ll feel invisible.”
“I’m momentarily aroused by the memory of a man properly doing a chore.” Good god, that’s funny.
The entire chapter on her losing her dog Petunia made me weep, but I’m a human being with a HEART sue me.
Such an inspiring memoir, I can’t recommend it enough. Read it immediately. And the fact that she didn’t mention her marriage in detail at all speaks such volumes - she’s not defined by that part of her life and that is made extremely clear with what she chose to share. She’s an incredibly strong writer so I sincerely hope she continues to publish. Absolutely love this woman.
October Occurrences 2024
October in Mississauga, Ontario
October in Mississauga, Ontario
I love Octobers but I’m grateful to be moving on to the holiday season. Halloween was so good this year. I used a fog machine (it’ll now have to be a staple each year) and a bluetooth speaker that played horror movie soundtracks and it was. the. best. Here’s what else went on last month.
You might think you’re better than fake tattoos, I assure you that you’re not
I made a list of my favourite Halloween tweets.
Put up some new Halloween decorations.
Tombstone Halloween decorations
Creepy doll Halloween decorations
Baby Dog, October 2024
We must reward greatness
The best tweets of the month can be found here.
I made this apple crisp coffee cake, which was fantastic. I’d prefer more crumble than cake, though.
Apple crisp coffee cake
I tried the new spicy all dressed chips and it’s a big meh. All dressed is already so perfect, they really should just leave them alone.
I got a ton of old VHS and camcorder tapes converted to digital at Digital Treasures and they did such a good job.
I’ve been constantly wearing the Anne Marie Beretta coat I got last month at the vintage clothing show.
I hadn’t had a DQ cake in years, so I bought one and it remains as good as ever.
I don’t love donuts (too doughy), but a holiday themed donut? Obviously I'll get those.
Thanksgiving donuts from Sanremo’s in Etobicoke, Ontario
Thanksgiving was really great, if not a little quieter this year. The next-day sandwich was one for the books. (If I started a business that solely made these sandwiches and just tried out new versions each month, could that work? Call it Turkey Time? Patent pending.)
Thanksgiving dinner
Thanksgiving sandwich
Went to Downey’s for their pumpkin donuts (for a donut hater, I buy an alarming amount) and got this apple pie flavoured milk. It was a bit gross, but you have to try new seasonal items. It’s law.
Apple pie milk
Took my parents on an autumn drive through Belfountain and our car broke down in the middle of nowhere! It was exciting.
Where the car broke down
I went to Ottawa for the first time! The drive was intensely beautiful. My dumbass didn’t realize how close Quebec was, otherwise I would’ve made sure to get a poutine across the water. Next time.
Baby Dog in Ottawa!
Parliament Hill, Ottawa
Ottawa, Ontario
Ottawa, Ontario
Stopped at The Big Apple on the way back and just wow. I’d never been there before, so I loved it.
The Big Apple in Ontario
I bought a few new pairs of bootcut jeans (I know, pretty cool) and had them all tailored. They fit perfectly. I will tailor my pants for the rest of my life now.
October sunrises >>
How is this real
Some things I watched:
Nobody Wants This: other than some really bad dialogue, I’d definitely watch season two.
English Teacher: best new show on TV, hands down.
Only Murders in the Building: good season, not great. Martin Short will be the main reason I keep watching.
The Blair Witch Project: I got my niece Maya to watch it and she loved it. A perfect horror movie.
The Return of the Living Dead: okay, it’s obviously bad but fun bad.
The Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode this year was awful?? What the hell?
I’ve been on a real Twilight Zone binge and this quote, “As long as there are men, there cannot be peace.” PREACH.
Some things I’m looking forward to this month: good god, I don’t even know. The election is today so… let’s just wait and see what happens before I look forward to anything.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in September over here.
The Best Tweets of October 2024
Happy Halloween!
The Best Halloween Tweets 2024
September Shenanigans 2024
Early autumn sunsets >>
Early autumn sunsets >>
Welcome to the absolute best time of year.
The best tweets of the month can be found over here.
I wrote about going to Cooperstown, New York.
I compiled my favourite summer photos.
I recapped how my summer list went.
I made an autumn list of things I’d like to do.
The AirTrain at JFK was half price for the entire summer! Am I the only one who finds that crazy? In a city where everything costs more with each passing day. Blown away by that. It’s back to the ridiculous/normal pricing now, but still.
I went to my first dog swim event (!) and it was absolutely heaven on earth. At the end of summer, public pools open up their pools on the last swim day of the season to let dogs go swimming and it’s as great as it sounds. (Baby Dog is too delicate to partake, but we watched from a safe distance.)
Forever a lover of autumn mums. And $9 for 9” ones at Home Depot? Get the hell out of here with that pricing. Amazing.
Autumn mums
I’ve been using GrandeLASH for almost a month now and I’m not really noticing that much of a difference, so if this doesn’t work I’ll give Revitalash a try and if that doesn’t work? I think I can officially say goodbye to lash serums at last. It’s too exhausting. I can’t care about tiny little pieces of hair for the rest of my life.
I will never shut up about how incredible this foot peel is from Target. I only need to use it twice a year and it gives you BABY SOFT feet.
Went to Dyments Farm in Dundas to try their burger and whoa. Definitely worth the drive.
Burger at Dyments Farm in Dundas, ON
In love with everything at Aerie right now, they’re reminding me of early Aritzia pieces (at the old Aritzia prices) and I should really shut up about it before it becomes like current Aritzia and therefore is way too expensive.
Came across a new way to do beach waves with a straightener and it totally works.
Are you aware that Staples recycles all old electronics? I brought in some old printers and it’s way easier than taking it to a dump.
Is The Ordinary a con? I have never had a positive experience with any of their products. Even the name makes me think they’re just messing with us?
Tried and absolutely loved the gluten-free Costco frozen pizza. Makes no sense.
The smash burgers at Oklahoma Burgers in Mississauga are decadent as hell.
Oklahoma Burgers in Mississauga, ON
Went to the Toronto Vintage Clothing Show for the first time in years and got an insanely nice coat. I only want fun coats for the rest of my life. Also got a mini glass bottle of perfume from the 40s to stay in my purse that was $5.
Perfumes at the Toronto Vintage Clothing Show
In love with this Simons belt.
I made these turkey meatballs from the LCBO magazine Food & Drink and they were pretty disappointing. Must remember to not trust all their recipes.
The dark chocolate pistachios from Trader Joe’s are unholy. Could eat bags and bags of them.
Ridiculously in love with the Whole Foods pumpkin bites. A perfect autumn bite.
Pumpkin bites at Whole Foods
Some things I watched:
The Perfect Couple: Okay, I could argue for an hour about how bad this was. Yes, a whodunit is fun. But that’s where the fun ended. It was so badly written and terribly shot. God, anything can be made these days.
The Trini episode of Atlanta: what a great episode. Makes me want to watch the rest of the show.
Only Murders in the Building: Really liking this season. The Perfect Strangers moments? Wonderful. I kind of need Richard Kind and Martin Short in a scene together soon though (Clifford reunion!).
English Teacher: best new show I’ve seen in SUCH a long time. I love the kid Jeff. The music choices are so good. So many good lines, I can’t even quote them all.
Mamma Mia: I’d never seen it, so we put it on and yikes. I truly hate singing in (most) movies. Fast-forwarded all the songs. Other than that, not a terrible movie.
Emily in Paris: this tweet really sums up the show.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts: Only my ten year old nephew could get me to watch something like this. It wasn’t terrible! Weird to hear Pete Davidson in it, but definitely not the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
Hustlers: Not good. But Mister Bruce was the best part.
Rewatched: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Dangerous Minds, Barbarian, Old. All still great.
I’m watching tons of Twilight Zones episodes each night and this quote (below) from the episode Passage on the Lady Anne just swallowed me up.
“Love has its own particular point of view. It sees everything larger than life. Nothing is too ornate, too fanciful, too dramatic. Love demands the theatrical, and then transfigures it. It turns the grotesque into the lovely, as a child does. With it, we can see what we wish to see in other people. Without it, we can’t see anything at all. We can search forever, and never find.”
Some things I’m looking forward to this month: finishing up my Halloween costume, cooking everything for Thanksgiving, making the leftover sandwich and I really want to see the movie Hush.
Will forever love sunflowers at night
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in August over here.
The Best Tweets of September 2024
Autumn List 2024
“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.”
Here to welcome you to the greatest time of year. Not just because of cooler weather or the anticipation of Halloween but because of the constant changes happening around us each day. The official beginning of the end of the year. Absolutely nothing better. Here’s what I’d love to do this fall.
Make pasta from scratch.
Go to Downey’s Farm or a harvest festival.
Make a turkey poutine.
Make an apple or pumpkin savory dish.
See the salmon run.
And here are some of my past autumn lists incase you’re looking for more ideas of things you might want to do this season.
Summer List 2024 Recap
Lake Ontario
Lake Ontario
All right so that was the longest summer that ever summered. I don’t think I’ve ever had highs and lows are big as the ones that have happened these past few months, but I wouldn’t change a single second. Here’s a recap of how my summer list of things to do went.
1. Go to a carnival.
Went! It was in a parking lot in Queens, but that still counts.
Queens carnival
2. Eat the soft serve at either Seed + Mill in Chelsea Market or at L’Industrie.
Did it! The Seed + Mill (vegan) tahini soft serve changed my life.
Seed + Mill vegan tahini soft serve
3. Get out of town somewhere fun to celebrate our 15 year anniversary.
We went to Cooperstown! And I wrote about it over here.
Cooperstown, New York
4. Go swimming at least five times.
Oh, I demolished this one. Went over ten times for sure.
5. Make this truffled garlic bread with ricotta.
Did not do! Definitely forgot about this one. But really this is more of a holiday appetizer so stay tuned.
4/5! Very proud of that. Should I be proud of mostly completely a list of purely fun things to do? Absolutely yes. Organized fun should never be reserved only for children.
Autumn list coming tomorrow!