"There's no way out" is so damn funny. https://t.co/IeZWA6Rl0j
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) August 2, 2024

Reaction of granddaughter to her first dressing table, built by grandad
pic.twitter.com/qu629mMlwv
— Science girl (@gunsnrosesgirl3) August 4, 2024

RFK Jr.: I should drive past that dead bear

The worm in RFK Jr’s brain: Stage a bike accident pic.twitter.com/lsuzpcHH96
— Benjy Sarlin (@BenjySarlin) August 4, 2024

I swallowed the bear to eat the dog, I swallowed the dog to eat the worm, I swallowed the worm to feel him squirm pic.twitter.com/A37HtmkCHZ
— ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°) (@rare_cryptid) August 5, 2024

The funniest part of that RFK Jr. video is how deeply weirded out Roseanne looks. Do you know much more pure uncut battshittery you have to spout for *Roseanne* to look at you like this? pic.twitter.com/YQLJXJp2Bp
— Katie MacBride (@msmacb) August 5, 2024

obsessed with this pic.twitter.com/rbVPczopaE
— fox (@stanheightvhs) August 6, 2024

ㅤ pic.twitter.com/vZ0AC4XqiG
— 🕐HOURLY🕑 shitpost (@hourly_shitpost) August 7, 2024

https://t.co/FQs3b1MnZV pic.twitter.com/w6YTVUNwo2
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) August 8, 2024

this is probably the closest anyone's gotten to that harrison ford kitchen photo btw pic.twitter.com/8m3sD5cQAv
— tyler “llewyn” taing (@tylerllewtaing) August 8, 2024

I still remember Jamie Foxx saying that he took Tom Cruise a night club in the hood to try to rattle him, and instead everyone in the club went into full fangirl mode over Tom. He kept asking to hang out with Jamie again and Jamie didn't want to 🤣 https://t.co/NpDMVXYSJp
— Victoria (@AVocalistsRival) August 8, 2024

Girls at the function when “Back That Azz Up” comes on pic.twitter.com/Utaeigi0Tl
— RELMYERS.COM (@relmyers) August 8, 2024

my cat trying to get out of the cute little sweater i got him pic.twitter.com/jfOmwrk1oq
— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) August 9, 2024

me on my way to mess with my dog who’s minding her own business pic.twitter.com/pbWcJN4WHt
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) August 10, 2024

they finally did this and yall are being So Mean about it pic.twitter.com/Y45PrCgeiF
— habitual line-stepper (@alaskastardust) August 10, 2024

Here's the 411, folks. Let's say some gangstar is dissin' ya fly girl. You just give him one of these! https://t.co/ebzzFUGXdo
— Simpsons Daily Glavins (@simpsons_DG) August 11, 2024

No one:

Burglars in the sims: pic.twitter.com/KedSmjXR6p
— Cara Lisette (@CaraLisette) August 11, 2024

Here’s the recipes for the Olympic Village Chocolate Muffins! Enjoy and share! 🏅 https://t.co/DYFcHBsIGd pic.twitter.com/f2eqyOXoOP
— Legend’s Cookbook (@LegendsCookbook) August 12, 2024

This should be in hotel rooms instead of Bibles https://t.co/npifygwR5U
— Reegs (@Reegs815) August 12, 2024

I’m not trying to romanticize the era of this picture, but I genuinely believe our relationship to computers was healthier (for ourselves and for society) when the computer was more of a work/school/household appliance as opposed to something that is always on us and always on. https://t.co/4Y2CiPmXeW
— Librarianshipwreck (@libshipwreck) August 12, 2024

The. Political. Version. Of. Fat. Elvis. https://t.co/2bCs1BEPea
— Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) August 12, 2024

Oh when this hits instagram reels next year the millennials are going to eat it upppppp https://t.co/mJIfMxVXdj
— slommy sammich (@blindedjanus) August 14, 2024

Dear kids, we weren’t perfect but we were happy. pic.twitter.com/Kv0GVpgZj6
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) August 15, 2024

You ever dance so bad that you get criminally investigated https://t.co/06d5qQuiJ2
— Nandre (@Nan_dre_) August 15, 2024

'Hopefulness is not a neutral position. It is adversarial. It is the warrior emotion that can lay waste to cynicism. Each redemptive or loving act, as small as you like – such as reading to your little boy... keeps the Devil down in the hole.'
Nick Cave. pic.twitter.com/B98W6ukchE
— David Rowe (@mrdavidrowe) August 15, 2024

pic.twitter.com/Li8YyJja1L
— scarlett ୨୧ (@scarletttfairy) August 15, 2024

pic.twitter.com/RgeiKv00Ky
— Isabel Steckel (@IsabelSteckel) August 15, 2024

When I saw Alien Resurrection in the theater several people audibly gasped at Dan Hedaya’s shoulder hair pic.twitter.com/tpotGlmHWz
— Justin🦩Boldaji (@justinboldaji) August 16, 2024

pic.twitter.com/IAUoaW4Uvf
— Women Posting W's (@womenpostingws) August 17, 2024

S/O to content creators man, How do you think of something like this😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Rp4v7vAW8h
— Nhlanhla Hlabisa🇸🇿🇿🇦 (@bab_hlabisa) August 18, 2024

WELL WHO YELLS AT PEOPLE https://t.co/rvalaOnlmg pic.twitter.com/g5YyT0jSFb
— Zaynah Bear 🇹🇹 (@zaynahbear) August 22, 2024

pic.twitter.com/nmufJADGot
— Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken (@woofknight) August 23, 2024

‘I Deserve a Little Treat,’ Says Woman Who Has Never Denied Herself Anything: https://t.co/UghmqYbYPv pic.twitter.com/dGbBTMGz5q
— Reductress (@Reductress) August 24, 2024

2001 is still so fucking funny to me he saw the planes hit first hand. he was there https://t.co/8ILfDVz7O2
— holly :3 (@hollyrogerbay) August 29, 2024

the sluttiest thing a man can do is say your name mid conversation
— zoomertea (@zoomertea) August 29, 2024

The best tweets of July can be found over here.