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LIZ HEATHER

March 6, 2021

February Feats 2021

by Liz Heather in Advice, Beauty, Food, Ideas, Links, Movies, Personal, Products, Recipes, Television


The best month has arrived! I know this has been a full year of complete trash, but spring is coming and it’s always the most hope-filled season, in my eyes. So even if I’m living in a dream world, let’s pretend that things might get better.

  • First things first, I tested positive for COVID earlier this month, but I’ve recovered completely and I know that I’m crazy lucky to have had it so mildly. I lost my sense of taste and smell for only a few weeks and it’s almost 100% back now, which is amazing. Somehow, magically, I didn’t infect my parents and they both tested negative (I was staying with them since autumn of last year), so that was also another little miracle.

  • Some movies I rewatched in my isolation: Groundhog Day (it’s the perfect movie to watch in a pandemic), Titanic (I think I rewatch this maybe two or three times a year, it never stops being great), and Stepmom (haven’t seen this in years and though I don’t love the movie, the part when the little boy says to his mother, “No one will ever love you like I love you” is weep-worthy).

  • Some new things I watched:

    • I finished the first five seasons of Superstore and it’s just a great show, with such good characters, fully recommend. The only part I hated was Sandra giving away Jerry to Carol, I just seethed at that joke for some reason.

    • The new To All The Boys I’ve Loved movie that came out. Yes, it’s super corny at times but it’s also very cute.

    • Emily in Paris, I don’t know why, it was a weird month. My two takeaways? The woman looks 12 years old, so I don’t know… the whole premise feels weird when you think you’re watching a child. And Darren Star must really find it truly hilarious when American women step in shit in France. His favourite joke on this planet, apparently.

    • The new Britney Spears documentary. Love her, loved it, hope things turn out all right for her.

    • Promising Young Woman, I loved it. Such an original, well done movie. Certain parts are slightly triggering if you’ve ever dealt with similar abuse situations, but overall it’s really, really good. (The soundtrack is great, too.)

    • Stanley Tucci’s CNN show Searching For Italy. Amazing! Love this man! I’ve had this dream trip around Italy planned for years that I intend to take one day and this show allows me to bask in that dream even harder. I should do a post about the specifics of this trip (I have it all organized within a Word document and map outlines), that way I can get people to contribute any must-do things that I should add. Okay, yes, I’ll post that later this month.

    • The Cecil Hotel series. Okay, look, the lam-Elisa tuberculosis part is intriguing as hell, but everything else? This could easily have been an hour long special. Also, fuck you Netflix for glazing over mental health issues, and giving such a strong voice to YOUTUBERS who know nothing and spout hurtful conspiracies. The whole series is so manipulatively done, absolutely do not recommend.

  • Have you ever been in a Food Basics? Because christ. It’s the most depressing grocery store chain I’ve ever had the misfortune of entering. Just a shocking vibe. Never again.

  • I’ll never understand why mixed bouquets exist when beautiful arrangements like this are an option. They’re always breathtaking.

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A post shared by Ira 🕊 (@doll_memories)

  • I tried a sample of a coffee body scrub from Mine Tan and I want to buy a full sized version immediately. It makes you so insanely soft that it’s completely worth the mess that it makes after using it in the shower.

  • I made hummingbird cake for the first time and it was incredible, everyone should make this cake. The photo isn’t good, but the cake absolutely was. Will totally make again. You can’t really even taste any of the pineapple, but it makes it so moist and enjoyable for days after you’ve made it.

Hummingbird cake

  • I tried the TikTok leggings and they suhuuuuuuck. Don’t buy them. Shady material. Does nothing for any ass. In order for these to look like they do in the photo, you must have previously bought the ass that goes along with it.

  • I made queso that was TERRIBLE. Must remember to always use a recipe that uses Velveeta, anything else will result in a terrible queso.

  • Tried the carrot cake Oreos and of course they’re good. Oreo has been flawless these past few years at constantly reinventing themselves and succeeding. Love to see that in a cookie.

  • I made this orange pound cake with orange glaze and it makes your home smell like heaven. Taste was phenomenal, too. Such a good late winter recipe.

  • I tried to get into this Mark Twain biography and it was just too dense. I lasted a few pages before slowly shutting it and placing it far away from me. I know so little about the man (hence the reason I wanted to read his book) but you couldn’t pay me to finish that thing. He remains a mystery to me and I’ve come to terms with that.

@juliem717

#dogs #dog #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pups #puppy #viral #boredinthehouse #foryoupage

♬ Home - Edith Whiskers
  • I know it’s 2021 but I’ll always be excited to see a Shyamalan movie. The premise seems terrible, but maybe good terrible?

  • I didn’t even know that light switches were allowed to be this gorgeous.

  • I also tried to read Lindy West’s latest book Shit, Actually and… I hated it. Well, what I read I hated. I really didn’t find any of it funny, which is weird because I love her. The only good chapter that I read was the one about The Fugitive. Loved this part: “I was going to say that they don’t make movies like this anymore, where the last thirty minutes is just one continuous incredible chase, except they do, all the time, but they make it all CGI so it’s impossible to care about. Who cares about a drawing of a very fast exploding truck that a computer made? Not me!“

  • I finally watched the VHS from my fifth grade play Newsies and it did not disappoint. I was magical.

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A post shared by Liz Heather (@lizheather)

  • My dad and I have been sending our stamps to Oxfam for awhile now, you should send them any of your used stamps, too! It’s such a good organization. We save up all our stamps that come in and then send them a package a few times a year.

  • Speaking of stamps, did you know that you can suggest a Canadian stamp theme? I do this every so often, one day I swear one of my ideas will make the cut. This is such a great idea for kids, too.

  • They finally opened a Detroit style pizza place in Mississauga! Gotta try it the next time I’m there.

  • I made Yorkshire pudding for the first time and it turned out well! I’m not a huge fan of the dull flavours, but I think if I used actual beef fat instead of shortening, then it would’ve tasted a bit stronger. Next time, for sure.

Yorkshire pudding

  • I bought this cake stand and dome from IKEA for my parent’s house and good god, what’s not perfect about a cake dome. What cake doesn’t benefit from its own little palace?

  • Best tweets of the month ahead.

Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.

— THEMESS (@cityyyy___) February 1, 2021

When you scream out the lyrics of a song but it hasn’t gotten to that part yet. pic.twitter.com/hPj4EIPHBG

— 🌪⚡️Quiet Storm⚡️🌪 (@y0ur___highness) February 2, 2021

can’t sleep thinking about how new zealand has concerts and we have “wear two masks”

— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) February 5, 2021

tom brady is much like god, a big unkillable bitch who wants us to be unhappy

— bog person (@bromanconsul) February 8, 2021

america is the only country that would "honor" an icu nurse by having her do the coin toss before an openly sanctioned superspreader event

— Jack Crosbie (@jscros) February 7, 2021

for some awful reason my boyfriend and i keep accidentally wearing similar outfits but he's a foot taller than me so i look like a furious little doll of him

— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) February 8, 2021

My toddler daughter spent 30 min telling me she don’t like crab legs and then sat in my damn lap and had me feeding her crab legs and gone tell me “dip it in butter good”

— Hueless P. Newton aka Shaun Scheme (@NotSoNewlywedPC) January 29, 2021

bro where do i even start 😔 pic.twitter.com/ehXFk0GjjX

— SOSA (@PLENTYCASH_WAVY) February 2, 2021

I hate when kids scream in public... you don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming. ME

— Jay Skutt (@JaySkuttt) February 1, 2021

the whole idea of a highschool reunion is so messy??? like what is there to gain?

— sarah lugor!! (@sarahlugor) February 6, 2021

me: why tf does my back hurt?

also me: pic.twitter.com/maaayXkf4u

— $AM𖤐 (@40SANDSHORTiEZ) January 30, 2021

someone gotta tell the waiter i ordered mashed potatoes and it aint gon be me https://t.co/Xs1Oei21BZ

— zoe papi (@negIed) February 7, 2021

i wonder what lessons i internalized as a little girl watching what society did to @MonicaLewinsky.

— crystal may snowball (@tashakaminsky) February 8, 2021

I miss the days where goalies looked like 59 year old LCBO employees. pic.twitter.com/XKnJcJRShK

— Rodrigo Fernandez-Stoll (@rodrigofstoll) February 8, 2021

BC stands for Before Coronavirus now. Sorry Jesus take a hike

— Rachel Kiki (@RachelKiki_) February 12, 2021

Someday we won’t be a hostage situation that’s dressed up as a country.

— Kashana (@kashanacauley) February 13, 2021

paying $23 for a lukewarm hamburger delivered by a guy who has never had health insurance, our economy is running flawlessly

— Django Gold (@django) February 14, 2021

Actually, America got some fucking nerve asking for any taxes after how it showed its ass last year.

— Hype William Carlos Williams (@sheedemilio) February 13, 2021

Netflix documentaries are always like, here is the story of a teen murdered on a boat but before we get to that let’s do 3 episodes on the history of water.

— greg stone blue check mark (@gregstone_) February 14, 2021

Same energy pic.twitter.com/Hjl0Eompxe

— Nathan McDermott (@natemcdermott) February 14, 2021

the cOST???? of LIVING??????? has anybody even said that out loud lol

— nat “cops break laws to terrorize/intimidate” puff (@LeftAtLondon) February 13, 2021

7th grade Spanish teacher taught us that patatas bravas were called that because the potatoes were brave for going into the spicy sauce and I will cherish that thought for the rest of my life. Honor them. Honor their sacrifice

— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 14, 2021

I walk out of showers with all the answers

— JP (@jpbrammer) February 14, 2021

In Mexico (probably other places too), Valentine’s Day is “the day of love and friendship.” But Americans only seem interested in the romantic connections, as if platonic relationships aren’t just or even more foundational to a person’s life. Friendship doesn’t get enough credit.

— Carlos Aguilar (@Carlos_Film) February 14, 2021

hello?? excuse me???? i will cry pic.twitter.com/kaqRU9xYLe

— sarah (@heavenbrat) February 13, 2021

Like 3 weeks ago Gen z discovered wearing baggy pants and started standing pigeon toed in fit pics now suddenly my skinny jeans are cringe? Suck yaself

— malik nimale⁉️ (@AshyMalik) February 14, 2021

This guy. Saw him in the airport once and got scared before I remembered he’s an actor. pic.twitter.com/UEGjZg3fgs

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) February 15, 2021

so much of the patriarchy is men creating an imaginary woman for people to hate

— ashley ray (@theeashleyray) February 14, 2021

This is Doc. He wants to be a beekeeper. Definitely didn’t get stuck going through the trash. 13/10 dream big buddy pic.twitter.com/KHWsFpADVj

— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) February 16, 2021

Genuinely never heard someone say a man’s voice is annoying. So maybe we replace that phrase with “I hate women” and save everyone some time.

— SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) February 16, 2021

Why are the “are you a robot tests” which of these are a fire hydrants ? They should be like, describe love.

— greg stone blue check mark (@gregstone_) February 17, 2021

A short story about decisions 🙂 pic.twitter.com/smdHGQ8bwR

— Paul 😂🤣🤪 (@PaulLaugh45) February 16, 2021

Every year on NYE I think “no way they can turn this number into glasses” and every year I am wrong

— Lola Buncher (@bolaluncher) February 9, 2021

babe what’s wrong? you’ve hardly embodied my idealized version of you today

— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 16, 2021

My post covid prediction is that it will bring a sudden, strong revival of 2007-style party photography

— 𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖑 𝖗𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 🎡🎟 (@rabbitwhite) February 17, 2021

Instagram is a dating app and a PR firm and nothing else.

— Irene Morales (@irenesmoraless) February 17, 2021

This is what they meant by no one could recognize Superman with glasses on pic.twitter.com/uuBU4WpUI0

— Darceimus Prime 🤖 (@MissDarcei) February 17, 2021

i love contactless delivery they just throw the slop at your door and i run out like a little pig

— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) February 11, 2021

me waiting for them to drive away so i can do it in peace 🐷 pic.twitter.com/prc4F0jVvW

— MADELEINE 🥀 (@madeleinemua) February 11, 2021

Idolizing a politician is like believing the stripper really likes you.

— Larinzo (@LarinzoMosley) February 17, 2021

I hate when the washing machine is on the scary part.

— CLS (@CurtisLSharkey) February 17, 2021

Turns out believing in yourself is something you have to do over and over again. Cool.

— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) February 18, 2021

Sorry to get so political, but I just don’t think anyone deserves to freeze to death

— Larry (@lahreigh) February 17, 2021

Scientists have successfully combined every Seinfeld character pic.twitter.com/wmxFAl4Odm

— the responsible uncle (@DaveMcNamee3000) February 19, 2021

If you were in your 20’s circa 2003 in Toronto you were unfortunately a member of broken social scene and you are entitled to compensation

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) February 19, 2021

I love games like the Sims and animal crossing like "imagine how you could decorate a home if you had money"

— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) February 19, 2021

Jesus, one of the saddest things about living in America is watching people realize in real time that no help is coming

— Lesbian Death Bed: The Bed That Eats Pussy (@bitterkarella) February 19, 2021

Welcome to the weekend! 💕 pic.twitter.com/5jPsdO6z6u

— Katie S. Phang (@KatiePhang) February 20, 2021

Couples on onlyfans captioning their videos like “oiled up slut takes bbc” like sir, that is your wife.

— Majin Buu (@Jessieraee5) February 19, 2021

My glass of wine is starting to taste like I’m Friends With Everyone Online

— Grace Bahler (@oatmilkforever) February 20, 2021

black parents really treat you like you asked to be here😂😂😂

— Monaee🧞‍♀️ (@brimonaee_) February 19, 2021

i miss going to the airport and having sexual tension between you and anyone who's remotely your age

— rebecca jennings (@rebexxxxa) February 22, 2021

an essay is complete when i cannot bear to look at it any longer

— m (@mary__retta) February 22, 2021

Been drinking outta the same giant blue cup for a year now and I think everyone I zoom with really hates the sight of the fucking thing.

— David Stassen (@davidstassen) February 24, 2021

parents can tell when ur drunk or high but can’t tell when ur 8 years into having an eating disorder

— angel baby (@unwh0retunate) February 24, 2021

How I think I look in a scarf How I really look in a scarf pic.twitter.com/FYvWiGCD2E

— Fiona Taylor (@fionaleslie) February 24, 2021

Nobody:
My mom: they’re just jealous of you.

— CAELI K. (@OnlyCaeliK) February 25, 2021

I don’t watch marvel movies because it just feels unrealistic that Americans would uhh... save the world

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) February 26, 2021

'Why fit in when you were born to stand out?' says yet another bio from a mother of three who's engagement photos of her and her bearded plaid shirt wearing partner were taken in a pumpkin patch

— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) February 26, 2021

there are 7-10 women i could text at any point in time that will justify a fucked up purchase for me and i’d die for them

— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) February 25, 2021

I hate that going out and getting a little exercise actually makes me less depressed. Fuck you

— Sophie (@jil_slander) February 25, 2021

$15/hr is only just over $31k a year. We’re begging to be just poor instead of severely impoverish and we can’t even get that.

— not accepting applicants at this time (@_fohsarah) February 26, 2021

Whatever’s going on in outer space is literally none of my business

— Rachel Davies (@rachelcomplains) February 26, 2021

every time kevin from Backstreet Boys gets to sing a line i think ‘good for him’

— jamieloftus 🏂 (@jamieloftusHELP) February 27, 2021

normalize women putting as many, or as little, exclamation marks as they want to in emails and still respecting them either way🤝

— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) February 27, 2021

Didn’t know I needed this pic.twitter.com/g8UQau46s0

— Steve Braband (@stevebraband) February 27, 2021

me telling my computer i’ll update everything tomorrow pic.twitter.com/5NIGfcJfB7

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 28, 2021

would be a huge power move for kanye to wheel out the robert kardashian hologram as his divorce lawyer

— louisa (@louisakeight) February 20, 2021

It’s like I always say, any girlfriend of my friend is a girlfriend of mine

— Diego Lopez (@thisdiegolopez) February 28, 2021

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: can’t wait to make this kale caesar with breadcrumbs, there are surprisingly good Sephora rewards available right now (I just got the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Serum Crystal Elixir reward that I can’t wait to try even though I have zero idea what it does), I’m going to do some research into all of these books and try to find the best ones at the library, I’m so excited that Shrill has a release date (May 7th), I’d love to get a haircut, and I can’t wait to get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. Oh, and I plan on eating the hell out of this leek focaccia at Lilia.

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A post shared by Lilia Ristorante (@lilianewyork)

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in January over here.

TAGS: February Feats, February Feats 2021, Liz Heather, monthly post, monthly roundup, COVID, Groundhog Day, Titanic, Stepmom, movies, Superstore, TV, To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Emily in Paris, Netflix, Britney Spears, documentary, Promising Young Woman, Stanley Tucci, CNN, Searching For Italy, Italy, Cecil Hotel, Elisa Lam, Food Basics, grocery store Mississauga, mixed bouquets, flowers, beautiful flowers, coffee body scrub, Mine Tan, beauty, hummingbird cake, recipes, best recipes, pineapple, TikTok leggings, fake ass, Amazon, queso, The New Yorker, carrot cake Oreos, orange pound cake, desserts, spring desserts, late winter recipe, orange glaze, Mark Twain, books, Lindy West, Shrill, dogs, M. Night Shyamalan, Old movie, Old 2021, gorgeous light switch, Shit Actually, The Fugitive, CGI, VHS, Newsies, Newsies play, grade five, Fairview Public School Mississauga, Oxfam, stamps, donating stamps, suggest a Canadian stamp, Detroit style pizza, Detroit style pizza Mississauga, Mississauga, NYC, Yorkshire pudding, food, cake stand and dome, IKEA, best tweets


February 4, 2021

January Jewels 2021

by Liz Heather in Beauty, Food, Ideas, Links, Movies, Music, Personal, Products, Recipes, Television


My parent’s backyard

My parent’s backyard

Wonderful, a new month! Even I’m not sure when I’m being sarcastic anymore. You know what I realized this month? This is technically year three of Covid-19 since it started in late 2019. Should I have kept that information to myself? Probably. I’m sorry. In any case, time moves on and we’re in a new month, so here’s what went down last month.

  • Before I begin, every January I make sure to:

    • Mark down all important holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (also Daylight Saving Times, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving) on my calendar

    • Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance/vet vaccinations and write down any important renewal dates

  • I recapped how my 2020 resolutions turned out. Spoiler alert: it’s not impressive.

  • I made my 2021 resolutions because I’m determined to live optimistically.

  • Here are some of my favourite photos from 2020.

  • I really want to make these A-Z foods that I’ve never made before throughout the year. Kind of really excited about this.

  • I’ve officially become obsessed with making end-of-the-year videos.

  • The new 2021 birthday gifts at Sephora have been announced! (Speaking of Sephora, have you seen the price point for Jennifer Lopez’s new line of products? Hahahahah, just wild.)

  • I read and reviewed Alek Trebek’s memoir, which was really good.

  • I made this carbonara from Bon Appetite and it BLEW! It was the first recipe that I made this year so I. was. PISSED.

  • I couldn’t find a Detroit style pizza place near my parent’s house (grow up, Mississauga) so I had no other choice but to get takeout from Descendant in Toronto and it was incredible.

The 8 x 10 “no name” from Descendant Pizza, Toronto

  • I listened to Taylor Swift’s evermore and the favourites are: champagne problems, tolerate it, and evermore.

  • I’ve been using my parent’s air fryer and, surprise surprise, it’s amazing. Obviously it makes everything taste great, but the best part is that it’s so much faster than a regular oven. The best thing I’ve made so far was definitely these pickles.

  • These are the greatest frozen french fries in Canada. Eat them. I promise. They’re lightly coated, but still thin and crispy.

  • I’d never even heard of The Devil’s Own which seems insane because two of the hottest nineties men are in it. Good movie? Not so much. I’d watch it again on mute though maybe.

  • If you’d like to momentarily be transported back to your childhood on Saturday mornings, get your ass over here for a second.

  • Speaking of the past, do you remember Heritage Minutes in Canada? God, some of them were really, really good. My favourite ones were the Laura Secord one, the Superman one, the Winnie one, and definitely the Marconi one.

@theladyshortcake

#fy #fyp

♬ Jake25.17 sound - 🦋Olivia🦋
  • I bought another bodysuit from Aritzia, but I mean look at this one. It’s heavenly. I can’t wait to wear it for Baby Dog on my way to the kitchen.

  • And I mean since I was already on the site, I also bought this honey/beige-coloured headband and matching mittens. I officially look adorable.

  • Still in love with the Dennis Gross peels, I just wish they weren’t so unreasonably priced.

  • I made this BA pasta with mushrooms and it was waaay too salty, what the hell is going on with me fucking up recipes these days?!

  • I tried this frozen vegan pizza and it was actually not terrible! Like, not as terrible tasting as regular frozen pizza.

  • Remember Grand & Toy (it was near Walter’s Music in Square One in the 90s)? I have to make a mental note to start using them instead of Staples. I loved that store for school supplies when I was a kid. Gotta support.

  • I’ve been watching the new Jeopardy! episodes with Ken Jennings and the first one was terrible in my opinion mainly because it just felt so wrong, but as I’ve kept watching I think it’s becoming less weird. I am excited to see the other guest hosts just to see how different they’ll each be.

  • I tried this drugstore John Frieda sea spray and it was complete crap. I may have overused it, but that’s really not my fault. Why in the hell don’t hair product labels tell you how many pumps you should use?! I swear to god, if only I were running things…

  • I made popovers for the first time and they were surprisingly easy! I might never buy a dinner roll ever again.

Popovers

  • I love the softness of these Indigo pajamas so much that I bought them twice (in both red & blue).

  • I heard the old Frank Sinatra song That’s Life on the radio the other day and got so teary, maybe ‘cause I haven’t heard it in years? Maybe ‘cause it’s just a perfect song? Am I slowly just losing it? While it was playing, I just kept saying to myself “That IS life!” Yeah, might have lost it.

  • I watched the newest season of Big Mouth and loved it. The anxiety mosquito might be the best new character introduced in the middle of a series OF ALL TIME. Such a great show.

  • I started watching Superstore (mostly in the background) and it’s pretty good! I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I definitely get the appeal.

  • I made these ganache-stuffed chocolate chip cookies and they were just lovely. Love a ganache, love that word.

  • Also made these salted tahini butter chocolate chip cookies (quite good!) because I’m going through a light depression, evidently.

  • My friend Dusty got his film Violation into Sundance and it’s wild that I know such immensely talented people. So, so proud of him.

  • I made blintzes with a Grand Marnier mascarpone (the blintz recipe is, of course, from Chef John and the mascarpone recipe is from one of Stanley Tucci’s cookbooks). It was delicious. It seems so intimidating to make crepes, but it was actually so easy and fun. Plus it looks like it’d be such a complicated thing to make, but I’d say it’s even easier than baking cookies.

Blintz with Grand Marnier mascarpone & wild blueberries in a cranberry coulis

  • I tried to read Ijeoma Oluo’s newest book Mediocre and I just couldn’t get into it. Even I was surprised because I love her work, so maybe I’ll give this one another try at a later date.

  • I had a real craving for a good bagel and since I’m not near Brooklyn Bagel in Astoria at the moment, I looked up the best place in this area for a bagel and went to the Old Bagel House on Lakeshore. And look, I respect what they’re doing, but they don’t hold a candle to New York bagels. Hard pass.

  • I’ve been using this tea tree night lotion from The Body Shop for years now, it really calms down your face before bed. Their entire tea tree collection is hard to beat.

  • I bought this jewelry stand and jewelry box both from Simons and they’re so divine.

  • Loving this makeup brush cleaner (especially the mini size for traveling). Expensive brush cleaners make zero sense to me.

  • I tried the Snoop Dogg wine and it was wine! (There’s not a spelling error or word missing there, it really was just wine.)

  • I made Creamy Cod & Potato Gratin and it was delicious, god I love tarragon.

Creamy Cod & Potato Gratin

  • I recently started eating frozen Canadian wild blueberries and they taste so blueberry. It’s madness. They’re so tiny and full of flavour, I couldn’t believe it. I’m so used to the blandness of blueberries from literally everywhere else. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE!

  • I also tried sumo citrus oranges and yes they were good, but nowhere NEAR as good as cara cara oranges.

  • Right now, Scaddabush has a pretty sweet family deal of a lasagna, salad & focaccia for $40 and it easily feeds four people, with leftovers.

  • Favourite tweets of the month ahead.

no one is “born bi,” you watch The Mummy at a formative age and the whole cast turns you bi

— Elle (@Elle_Enasalin) December 30, 2020

Maybe this year will be better than the last

— Counting Crows (@CountingCrows) January 1, 2021

Using negative COVID tests to decide if it’s safe to go to parties is like using pregnancy tests as contraception.

— Kay M. Dingwell🍁🩺🏳️‍🌈 (@CanadianKayMD) December 31, 2020

In 34 years on this planet I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries

— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 17, 2020

when the subtitles are like "speaks foreign language" i'm like...yes, girl...and what they be sayin??

— sydney battle (@SydneyBattle) January 2, 2021

My one wish for post-pandemic life is the return of the conversation pit as a popular architectural feature. pic.twitter.com/l3M0aCxhmu

— Dave Schilling (@dave_schilling) January 3, 2021

I choose to believe crop circles are real because I love the thought of aliens coming to earth and then being like “now time for some arts and crafts”

— Michael Benjamin (@mfbenji) January 3, 2021

Paul Rudd is a glimmering example of an 8 who became a 10 by having a good personality. That’s right folks, you can go up by +2 just by being wonderful

— Marisa Galvez (@masiragz) January 2, 2021

Somehow went from “Suck it up, Snowflake, you lost!” to “Oh we lost? Let’s shred the Constitution.”

— Rachel Dratch (@TheRealDratch) January 3, 2021

Please stay home, wear a mask, and get the vaccine. My child told me today his best friend is the number 35.

— Leila Cohan (@leilacohan) January 3, 2021

"Reduce Stress" isn't an acceptable treatment suggestion for any ailment unless the doctor telling you to do it is offering to cover your expenses while you rest.

— Rosa Pasquarella (@whatrosasaid) January 5, 2021

Almost a year later and I still think it’s absurd that we’re all expected to carry on like everything isn’t bizarre. No change in work schedules, hours or anything. We’re really the “this is fine” meme come to life.

— Creole Lady Grey Poupon (@theelectwoman08) January 4, 2021

wanna open a bar called “plot twist” where upon entering the establishment you suddenly learn that you are that evenings bartender

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) January 5, 2021

i used to think that commissioning a hologram of your wife's dead father who you never met and having him call you a genius from beyond the grave was proof of a perfect marriage but i guess i'll have to rethink https://t.co/UyOoVfIGMa

— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) January 6, 2021

tort yells at food pic.twitter.com/CebiOG1bmF

— Tortoise (@TortoisesDaily) January 6, 2021

I know kim happy she don’t have to wear them hunger games clothes no more

— greta gerNIG (@NILES100) January 6, 2021

stop rebooting spiderman and batman every two years and give us what we really want: a zorro who fucks

— karl hess (@karlhess) January 4, 2021

Donald Trump: a man who started life on third base and ended up destroying baseball

— DC Pierson (@DCpierson) January 6, 2021

2016: it’s only four years, how bad can it get

2021: are the armed insurrectionists storming the Capitol aware that there is a plague ravaging the land

— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙‍♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) January 7, 2021

this is my favorite photo of the year. John Trumbull’s Surrender of General Burgoyne sitting right there and he grabs a PODIUM?! FUND ARTS EDUCATION NOW! 🤡 pic.twitter.com/nfT37LZoM1

— Antwaun Sargent (@Sirsargent) January 7, 2021

I want to take up painting and paint horrifying portraits of friends for their birthday and tell them I worked really hard on it.

— Kase Raso (@KaseRaso) January 8, 2021

twitter now that trump is banned from it pic.twitter.com/lKyb2IMauD

— louis’ gf (REAL!!!) loves preethi (@hscatrry) January 8, 2021

jAsOn MAntZoUkaS tAlkS LiKe ThIS soMEhOw?

— Lizzie Logan (@lizzzzzielogan) January 8, 2021

"This is not who I am" -me eating my 6th slice of pizza

— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) January 8, 2021

Simply the best.
Thank you, Alex. pic.twitter.com/GgXbV4AWMt

— Jeopardy! (@Jeopardy) January 8, 2021

What’s always appalled me about this country is how we have so much more empathy for powerful people who commit crimes out of greed than for poor people who commit crimes out of desperation.

— Ida Bae Wells (@nhannahjones) January 9, 2021

buying clothes online:

"the model is 6'3" and wearing a size small."

— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) January 9, 2021

Once my husband was reading a Halloween book to our 4 y/o niece & she pointed to a vague monster in the background of an illustration.
“Who IS that?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he answered.
Then like an exhausted magazine editor in chief, she sighed “It’s probably a ghoul.”

— Andrew Farmer (@thatsajellyfish) January 9, 2021

me going on a stupid little daily walk just to feel something pic.twitter.com/Yi6VVHVVB6

— ruby 🐊 (@roobeekeane) January 8, 2021

the gender pay gap is mostly fucked up bc like what do men even have to buy?

— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) January 9, 2021

dating someone who can stay kind even during fights is very important

— ً (@Kidxfx) January 9, 2021

I just pushed my grandmother down the basement steps. My parents want to call the cops on me, but I don't know how that would unify this family.

— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) January 10, 2021

pic.twitter.com/P9c6IakEre

— ₩abzz 👾 (@Nabzzino) January 9, 2021

Americans only love the college experience because it's the only time in their lives they live in walkable communities

— 𝖆𝖟𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖔 (@Bro_Neill) January 10, 2021

that morning field trip air was just different

— Nope (@memequeenyerp) January 8, 2021

His dad owned a fucking emerald mine during the apartheid https://t.co/qIDzQFopXo

— Diamond hands Josh (@gokuw33dlord) January 11, 2021

sex is cool but have you ever been brown while watching white terrorists dragged off a plane

— Fizaa Dosani (@FizaaDosani) January 11, 2021

I'd like to teach y'all a Southern phrase that will help you get off a phone/Zoom/Facetime call or you don't want to be on anymore but don't have an excuse to leave. Let me introduce you to the power of "Well, let me let you go"

— sara (@_saracannon) January 12, 2021

I actually cannot stop laughing at this hahaahahahaha pic.twitter.com/viiqCwBsMn

— jack rem x (@jackremmington) January 13, 2021

my mom: we’re just gonna have a few people over, I’ll make something simple

also my mom: pic.twitter.com/CQWFYpLwO8

— عابد (@NasheedWallace) January 13, 2021

my first time making focaccia !! ✨ not perfect but i tried lol 😊 pic.twitter.com/drjHAIocsB

— Jubilee ❣️ (@16pxl) January 14, 2021

Government of Ontario Marvin Gaye

🤝
"What's going on"

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) January 14, 2021

ONLY person going through border from Canada to US. Customs agent looked at me the way a server does when you walk into their restaurant that’s about to close

— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) January 14, 2021

me, scrolling by terrible, non-harmful opinions on this hellsite and not stopping: pic.twitter.com/PthfOB8EX2

— Preeti Chhibber (@runwithskizzers) January 15, 2021

me going through the TSA body scanner pic.twitter.com/BBGigtyA98

— elizabeth (@peeanofreek) January 15, 2021

Live clip of Canada managing Covid-19 vaccine distribution... pic.twitter.com/PEUXkVMW4t

— PETER ANTHONY (@peterisfunny) January 15, 2021

Only relatable part of nineties television is Danny Tanner compulsively cleaning bc it’s only thing he can control.

— Lindsay Theisen (@lindsaytheis) April 12, 2020

had a dream my girl shit herself at the club so i shit MY self to make her feel better😭😭😭why the fuck we aint just leave😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

— chris (@yunglame) January 15, 2021

bunch of high schoolers just walked past my car in the Taco Bell drive thru I was playing coldplay loud as hell. one of em made eye contact wit me, said something to his friends and they all laughed. this is the worst day of my life

— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) January 16, 2021

The US isn't even a country, it's just three corporations in a trench coat

— Chairman Kooks | UBSA ☭ (@shawarmacommie) January 16, 2021

Tim Hortons new ad campaign: our dark roast coffee gets a little less shitty every few years”

— Steve Patterson (@patterballs) January 17, 2021

It’s a good day when you find out it isn’t YOUR Backstreet Boy that’s into Q

— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) January 16, 2021

The biggest scam is cooking for 2 hours just to eat for ten minutes

— 🥂 (@Jackaldinh0) January 13, 2021

Nobody defends billionaires more than hundredaires.

— AC Tatum (@actatumonline) January 16, 2021

telling the song to “shut up” right before you skip it >>>>>

— Alfred (@fredtv_) January 16, 2021

i love how insane everyone is becoming

— insider (@housetrotter) January 18, 2021

Oh gawd he's going to open Canada's Wonderland isn't he. https://t.co/abfPkOllTY

— Jeremy Woodcock (@jwPencilAndPad) January 18, 2021

happy birthday Dolly Parton!! I will honor her, like I do every year, by having huge boobs and being nice

— Laura Peek (@laurapeek_) January 19, 2021

I am only now learning of the "body diversity" Vogue cover from 2017 and I cannot stop laughing.https://t.co/yMeuiBW8jB pic.twitter.com/gEJnE1j7Fu

— Michael Hobbes (@RottenInDenmark) January 18, 2021

He seems like a very happy old man looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see! pic.twitter.com/G8gObLhsz9

— Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) January 20, 2021

no thoughts ... just ... baby snoopy pic.twitter.com/uKQkwHN1Pm

— ً (@voidshitter) January 20, 2021

u gotta be ur biggest supporter https://t.co/SkUdpvhwRE

— nope (@LilNasX) January 22, 2021

It’s wild that “not everyone gets food” is how we’ve decided to organize society.

— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) January 23, 2021

So many JLo movies start with a long sequence to ease you into the idea that in the world of this movie, JLo is just a regular looking girl.

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) January 23, 2021

leave butter out on the counter you cowards

— karl hess (@karlhess) January 23, 2021

today’s young vegetarians will never know the adrenaline rush of ordering a veggie burger in 2006 with not the faintest idea of what you were about to receive

— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) January 25, 2021

What can i do to make sure nothing bad ever happens to me ever again ? so far my idea is buy something

— helena (@freshhel) January 24, 2021

Funny how people can separate Tom Brady’s politics from his game, but struggle to do the same when it comes to Kaepernick.

— Ahmed Ali (@MrAhmednurAli) January 25, 2021

The notes app is a uniquely melancholy place where banal tasks like "buy paper towels" live next to incoherent, sad aspirations like "become more like safdie brothers" (??)

— walker (@walkercapl) January 25, 2021

I’ve been attacked. pic.twitter.com/YhrOnRxWKM

— Matthew Strugar (@MatthewStrugar) September 18, 2020

the one thing I know about stocks is that they rise in value if people believe in them and I just want to say, same

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) January 28, 2021

Baby girl just got glasses and can now see clearly for the very first time. Makes my heart smile.

This is the Twitter content I’m here for...💪😍😇😊😍pic.twitter.com/2Gm9KpJmdb

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) December 12, 2019

Been together since 4pm, no problems. I go to the bathroom ONCE 45 seconds in, and I have to rush out to this: pic.twitter.com/AN1iaZYe2k

— MV (@madelaneeee) September 27, 2019

When someone who wasn’t previously thirst trapping starts posting sexy pics I’m like YES babe also who are these about tell me everything

— Allison O'Conor (@allisonoconor) January 27, 2021

Doug Ford pic.twitter.com/hj3BpFByq0

— alan crane lewis 🏗 (@TheAlanShane) January 27, 2021

my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) January 29, 2021

pic.twitter.com/zM5HFwz3jj

— out of context community (@darkestimeline) January 29, 2021

It's so cold in New York this weekend, I think I might stay inside since last March.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 30, 2021

The government making vaccine appointment booking online only is a pretty good case for making the internet a public utility.

— pls vaccinate me (@onekade) January 28, 2021

Mix it up this weekend by staring into a different part of the void

— tom (@pilau) January 30, 2021

I once asked friends on Facebook for the craziest LA advice their parents had given & 1 said their mom told her to wear a fake ponytail when jogging so if someone grabbed it to try to rape her it would pull out like a lizard's tail and boy do women have a lot more to worry about.

— Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) January 30, 2021

all sober people straight rawdogging this pandemic should be first for the vaccine

— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) January 31, 2021

For everyone who is like, “A SATC reboot without Samantha? She’s the sex!” Sure. But she’s been the best friend anyone could ask for since Day One. When I think Samantha - I think this moment sums up her entire existence. That wink!! pic.twitter.com/QrsjnZMFLi

— JEN KIRKMAN 👩🏻‍💻 (@JenKirkman) January 31, 2021

Sometimes is ok to wake up and choose violence. At least once a month.

— iamcardib (@iamcardib) January 31, 2021

Charles Manson carved a swastika in his forehead and his lawyers didn't quit.

— Mike Larsen (@MikeLarsenOH) January 31, 2021

A “new” “month” of this “year” “starts” “tomorrow”

— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) February 1, 2021

I will never forgive covid for stealing one of my hot years

— Marisa Galvez (@masiragz) February 1, 2021

Covid also wasted one of your enemy’s hot years

— Max Hoover (@bigtenniscourt) February 3, 2021

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I will continue to watch and love all upcoming new Riverdale episodes (thank you season five for bringing this song back into my life), I might make these french onion stuffed shells because they sound insane, I’m excited to watch Stanley Tucci’s CNN cooking show Searching For Italy, I might fall into the world of focaccia bread art, I’d love to attempt ANY of these hairstyles, and I’m so excited to hear when the final season of Shrill will finally air.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in December over here.

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