July Jiffs 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This was me all month.

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The key word being was. We bought an air conditioner! We’ve been an A/C-free family for some time now, but since we’re spending so much time at home, we figured now was the time to be cool. In other news, everything still blows! What a shock! Here’s how I spent July.

  • I didn’t even know another Halloween movie was being made but of course I’ll go see it even if it turns out to be trash, you gotta support classic horror franchises, that’s just basic horror etiquette 101.

  • This is the most basic, boring-sounding sandwich on planet earth, but it tastes incredible I promise you (I didn’t add bacon, but I did add fresh mozzarella) and whatever bread you use, it’ll still be great. I find myself constantly forgetting about the greatness of mayo because I, my dear, am an idiot.

  • I ordered a bunch of new address labels on Zazzle because they were having a Christmas in July sale, so I bought some seasonally inspired labels to use over the next few months. If you’re not seasonally co-ordinating your return address labels, are you even living?

  • I’m still doing Nathan’s podcast on Patreon incase you’re interested. (You can find more clips on his Instagram.)

  • I attempted to watch the new Baby-Sitter’s Club on Netflix and it’s really not meant for me. I was never into the books or the movie or any of it, I never liked the idea of kids caring about making money, it seemed too sad to me. “Just be a kid!” I’d always thought.

  • Speaking of childhood nostalgia, I have started to watch reruns online of Sweet Valley High, which I loved as a kid. It’s no Breaker High, but it’s still pretty great to rewatch. God, Jessica really was an absolute bitch.

  • Some other things that I’ve rewatched: Con Air (practically a perfect movie, will always love, *Nic Cage forever* might be the only tattoo I’d ever get), Supermarket Sweep is on American Netflix and I was so excited (for about three episodes) then I moved on with my life, Sleepless in Seattle (still a very nice, average, reliable movie), Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (actually a really great summer movie, will always be a fun time to watch, will forever be a huge Keanu fan, I just feel like I could trust him??), and Dick Tracy (will always love this movie even if it has eight million too many montages, the set design is gorgeous, and this one outfit that Madonna wears makes me question… everything).

  • Some new movies that I’ve watched: Always Be My Maybe (so, so great! How did it take me so long to see this! So many good scenes, such a good movie), The Karate Kid (insane that I hadn’t seen it before, kids were uncomfortably mean in the 80s, favourite part was when Mr. Miyagi beats up the children, great movie), The Stepfather (pretty fun time, so happy we’ve starting watching horror movies again), Eat Pray Love (ugh, I don’t know, I do love movies about women just leaving and doing fun shit alone and abandoning their lives, but this was pretty lame, I hated James Franco’s character more than life and truly didn’t understand how Julia Roberts was even briefly into him), and finally the original The Hills Have Eyes (which I loved weirdly enough despite being incredibly tense the entire movie, I just thought it was so well done and scary and incredible, the rape scene is of course awful and I shut my eyes for that part, but that was the only thing I hated, it doesn’t make sense that I liked this movie so much).

  • I don’t know how to word this, but something is off with the reasonably priced (and almost too cheap) parmesan sold at Trader Joe’s. It melts weird. It doesn’t taste like normal cheese. Something is afoot and I won’t buy it any longer. I’m truly dreading and equally anticipating the day that all of Trader Joe’s secrets are exposed. Be warned.

  • That being said, obviously I’m in love with the seasonal summer candles that TJ just released. We have a complicated relationship.

Trader Joe summer candle trio, 2020

  • I made this gruyere mac and cheese with caramelized onions (I used almond milk and it still came out good) and can every recipe just include caramelized onions? The world is ending, let’s just put sweet, tiny, brown onions on everything and call it a day.

  • Ennio Morricone passed away last month and I find myself listening to the Cinema Paradiso soundtrack on repeat.

  • Read this great piece about summer blockbuster movies which also has just some great ideas for movies to rewatch right now.

  • I have to remember that Essie’s vibrant colours just f-ing suck. Only their muted/bland colours are good. They should really just stick to those. And if you’re looking for loud colours that stand out, the summer collection at Urban Outfitters is my go-to (and there’s always a 3 for $10 sale with them).

  • I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and so far my favourites are definitely: the 1 and this is me trying.

  • Ugh, Astoriaaaaaa, DO BETTER.

  • I’ve been thinking about cancelling my Ipsy subscription again (because I think I don’t care about makeup at this current moment in time) and when I logged on to cancel, they let me choose one of the items being sent next month as if they knew I wanted to leave! So I chose a Sunday Riley product (because any sample I’ve tried from them, I’ve loved) so maybe I’ll cancel next month?

  • I tried a sample of Drunk Elephant’s shampoo & conditioner (which smelled so lovely) and my hair did seem softer the next day. There’s something about this brand though, I feel like they might be tricking us with their beautiful packaging and minimalist persona.

  • I bought and tried the ancient Biore Strips and I have absolutely no idea if they did what they’re supposed to do. Are you supposed to see the blackheads or whiteheads come off onto the strip? It felt like it just tried to peel my face off. No idea what’s going on with these.

  • I have been in love with the Peter Thomas Roth Correction Pads, I use one pad before bed each night and I think they’re doing something good because I always wake up with no new pimples. It has even started erasing all of the redness I’ve been experiencing lately from the summer heat and sweat and mask-wearing. At this point, I can definitely see myself rebuying when I run out, and if I do then I’ll definitely not get them from Sephora because you can get them way cheaper at other online retailers.

  • I’ve also started using this Dr. Dennis Gross All-In-One face cleanser and I think it’s a good one. It’s hard to tell because I started using it the same day at the correction pads I mentioned above (yes that was a bad idea but here we are), so maybe they’re working together to make my face good? We’ll revisit this.

  • I finally opened up this Belif set I bought a few months ago and it’s really nothing special. I think the face cream is probably the best item in there because you truly don’t need to use a lot to feel moisturized. But the face cleanser? Meh. I don’t think it does very much, it definitely didn’t help any redness. And the toner? Don’t get me started on how I kind of think toner might be a scam. And the “eye moisturizer”? Seems superfluous. My eye area is plenty moist, thanks.

  • Perfect summer soap scent: Fresh Rainfall. If I can’t travel this year, I will escape into this scent. (Send help.)

  • Very excited to hear about Lindy West’s new book.

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IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! This is the official cover for my next book, Shit, Actually, which you can preorder now and receive in Oct! I am SO EXCITED TO RELEASE THIS BOOK. Obviously Shrill changed my life and I worked harder on The Witches Are Coming than anything I’ve ever made, but frankly Shit, Actually is my favorite because it is just me in my purest form: being a bitch about movies. It was so therapeutic to write this book, a kind of return to myself and my beginnings, and it absolutely saved me to just sit and make myself laugh, day after day, during the early pandemic. I cannot wait for you to read this. (And let’s sell the shit out of it so I can write 10 sequels!) Also no joke I deserve a Grammy for the audiobook. 💖 ###### // New York Times opinion writer and bestselling author Lindy West was once the in-house movie critic for Seattle’s alternative newsweekly The Stranger, where she covered film with brutal honesty and giddy irreverence. In Shit, Actually, Lindy returns to those roots, re-examining beloved and iconic movies from the past 40 years with an eye toward the big questions of our time: Is Twilight the horniest movie in history? Why do the zebras in The Lion King trust Mufasa-WHO IS A LION-to look out for their best interests? Why did anyone bother making any more movies after The Fugitive achieved perfection? And, my god, why don’t any of the women in Love, Actually ever fucking talk?!?! From Forrest Gump, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and Bad Boys II, to Face/Off, Top Gun, and The Notebook, Lindy combines her razor-sharp wit and trademark humor with a genuine adoration for nostalgic trash to shed new critical light on some of our defining cultural touchstones-the stories we’ve long been telling ourselves about who we are. At once outrageously funny and piercingly incisive, Shit, Actually reminds us to pause and ask, “How does this movie hold up?”, all while teaching us how to laugh at the things we love without ever letting them or ourselves off the hook. Shit, Actually is a love letter and a break-up note all in one: to the films that shaped us and the ones that ruined us. More often than not, Lindy finds, they’re one and the same.

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  • So I heard that Lady M now ships their cakes to Canada and I was able to scream in excitement for approx. four seconds before looking into it and seeing that it’ll cost you over $100 to get ONE cake sent. THE GALL, I tell you. THE GALL.

  • I briefly looked into the app Sweatcoin after hearing good things, but it really just seems like an app where its main goal is to track you. And yes, your phone already does that whether you’re aware or not, but I think I’ll pass on the extra tracking.

  • I heard that the upcoming Halloween Bob’s Burgers episode will “follow the kids as they try to deliver a burger to the hotel on their street.” It’s such a sad little bit of tiny information, but I love their seasonal episodes so much that I’ll take any crumbs available.

  • Actually helpful tips on how to clean your home efficiently.

  • Christ, why do I keep forgetting that Bareburger is absolutely nothing special? Why in the good fuck is it taking so long for a Shake Shack to come to Astoria?!

  • I ate on the patio at Hoja Santa in Astoria and the tacos were nothing to write home about. The service, drinks and chips were outstanding though, so I may have just ordered badly.

  • New favourite beer alert.

  • Best tweets of the month ahead.

  • I tried Thai iced coffee and it was so wildly sweet and too aromatic, I probably wouldn’t get it again. And I also tried a Vietnamese iced coffee and it was the perfect level of sweet! What’s the difference between the two, you ask?

  • I finally tried the katsu sandwich at Hi-Collar as takeout in the East Village and it was absolutely nothing special. No idea why people are so into it.

  • I haven’t been to Bite in so many months, so it was nice to get takeout earlier this week. God how I’ve missed their ciabatta bread. They use it on their sandwiches and it comes from Balthazar each morning and it’s always heavenly.

  • I have found the perfect, light summer blanket and I’m trying not to focus on the fact that it came from Amazon.

  • I tried a grapefruit shandy and holy shit, it might be my favourite new summer drink.

  • I ate on the patio at L’Artusi since it just reopened and good god, that carbonara will change you. So psyched to see they have the wagyu steak tartare on the menu now, too. The burger, the panzanella salad and the charred corn were all great, but that carbonara was the standout.

Yeah, I’m NOT gonna get a Manhattan??

Carbonara heaven, 'L’Artusi

L’Burger with roasted potatoes at L’Artusi

Sweet Irene!

Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d love to try this tomato toast with blue cheese mayo, I’m going to start using a new clothes steamer I just bought with the hopes of getting rid of my iron & ironing board, I rebought a tube of Revitalash because of how great my lashes were looking when I used it a few years ago so I’ll start using it on August 1st and track my progress to prove how great this product is, I can’t wait for Moesha to be coming to Netflix this month, and I am waiting waiting waiting until I can find time to return to Lilia (on the patio) to eat this incredible tomato focaccia & garlic butter (shown below).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in June over here.

December Dalliances 2019

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , ,

It’s over, the holidays are over. Usually that makes me unhappy but this year they felt like the perfect amount of time. I’m crazy ready to start a new year. I remember being a kid and thinking, “In 2020, I’ll be 35… oh no” And now that it’s here, I’m pretty excited about it. I think it’s because there are so many things to look forward to this year (going to a wedding in the Catskills with Nathan & Baby Dog, going to London to see my friend Sarah, going to Barcelona with Gary, seeing where him and his family live in Glasgow, seeing a Euro Cup semi-final game in Amsterdam with my brothers, spending the day in Lisbon, spending quite a bit of time on the coast in Portugal, going on an anniversary trip in August). So. Excited. For. Everything.

But enough about the future, let’s delve into the recent past for a minute. Here’s what happened in December that was notable:

  • I made these Chickpea Pitas that were very good, I used wholewheat tortillas instead of pita and it still tasted great.

  • I have so many creams and lotions, please no one ever buy me another one. I just started using this Vichy Collagen cream (that I got two Christmases ago!) as a morning face cream and it’s wonderful. Very soft. Not sticky or greasy. Fully recommend. Especially for winter mornings.

  • I have no idea how I got them, but I had a stack of Dr. Dennis Gross (terrible name to put on a product) Alpha Beta Extra Strength Daily Peel packets that have been hanging around my beauty box (which is a storage box full of beauty samples and gifts and things I intend to one day use but haven’t yet) - so I just started using them once a week and whoa. They be tingly. Is that a good thing? I guess? I know nothing about skincare. In any case, they feel like they’re doing something magical when I use them but that’s about it. Are they worth $88 American dollars for a pack? God, no. But if you get a chance to use them as a sample or something, go for it. What do these wipes DO exactly? I’m told they’re “anti-aging.” Sidenote: I hate products that only promote that. How could you ever prove something is anti-aging?! You can’t! Unless you use it for 5-10 years and have before & after shots. And no one is going to do that. It’s bullshit. I’d respect the product more if it just said, “We don’t know what it does, but it feels fun on your face. Give a try!”

  • No one can stop me from loving old-school animation. The giant eyes and heads on today’s animation is horrifying to me and makes me miss the days of the 1992 version of Aladdin and the way kid’s movies used to look. I came across this old made-for-TV-movie Annabelle’s Wish and though it was nothing spectacular, I love the way it looked.

  • I tried the Japanese cheesecake that I’ve heard so much about: Uncle Tetsu in Square One. Verdict? It’s not cheesecake. But that’s not a bad thing. It really just tasted like a light, cheesy bread - but with none of the fulfillment of being too cheesy.

  • Looking forward to a new season of Curb on the 17th.

  • One thing that’s pissed me off this month: PINK (the Victoria’s Secret brand) no longer carries underwear in size XL. They just stopped making them. It happened at some point last year. And I mean, I was already not a fan of regular Victoria’s Secret, but now? This is insane. For a brand that already has existing problems with inclusion, are you fucking kidding me? I’ll never go back into any of their stores. I hate that I’ve supported them for as long as I have.

  • I watched a couple of the newest SNLs over the Christmas break and the absolute best part of all of them? These performances.

  • Lizzo, her dancers, her musicians, everything: perfection. Not only are they great performances, but seeing women who have regular fucking bodies? I need it. I need it bad. I’m a 34 year old woman and I still need to see this. I needed this when I was a teenager, I needed this when I was a kid. I could go on and on about why this is needed, but hopefully you just get it.

  • I rewatched Mean Streets because I genuinely couldn’t remember if I like Scorsese movies or not and… some are good? Best part of this movie:

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  • I tried some wasabi Kit-Kats from Japan and yowza. They good.

  • This sounds like a broken record but I watched the newest season of Fuller House and I still don’t know why I watch this show when I know it isn’t good. I have a problem. Although it did bring me to this song that I now love.

  • I just bought this incredible throw blanket for the couch from Indigo (that is wildly on sale right now), I suggest you get one.

  • End of the year posts can get a little cheesy or heavy or preachy, but I absolutely loved this one from Ijeoma Oluo:

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Today I turn 39. As we close out this decade I can't help but reflect. This was a decade of immense change, hardship, triumph, and growth. I started this decade working in marketing. My primary goals were to learn how to be a social person and to lose weight. Over the years I gratefully let all three go. As I enter the last year of my 30's, I look to nurturing, protecting, and growing my talent and art, and enjoying the love and light of my home and family. If you are 29 and thinking that it is too late for you to embark upon your dreams, know that I hadn't written a single paragraph of a single article at 29. If you are 35 thinking that is too late, know that I hadn't written a single paragraph of my first book at 35. If you are 37 and you think that love will never find you, that you will never be worthy or capable of it, that you are fundamentally broken - know that it wasn't until I was days before 38 that I discovered that wasn't true. If you are thinking that you need to lose weight in order to do all the things you wanted to do - know that you can do whatever you want - but if you lose weight, all you will have done is lost weight. You will not be fundamentally changed in any way. But if you put that energy into living life, every fiber of your being will change, no matter what the scale says. If you are a woman of color and you've been told that your success lies in a docile facsimile of white femininity, know that your true value and beauty lies in everything that makes you different and difficult. Know that whiteness has no real need for knockoff whiteness, that you're being scammed out of your life. If you are a single parent and you are wondering if your children will grow to appreciate everything you've sacrificed for them - know that they probably will not. But they will love you in a way that nobody else will and you will still love them with your whole being and even though they don't seem to want to, they will grow and graduate maybe one day they will move out (see me in ten years on this one). No matter what age you are, know that life is short and long at the same time. So it's never too late, but you better start living now.

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  • After using one Tarte eyeshadow palette for literally all of 2019, I branched out and got two new palettes. This Huda Beauty one (love it, great for going out) and this Colorpop one that is stunning but absolutely does not last throughout the night.

  • No idea how Sephora had this as a reward, but I got a mini version of a Pat McGrath mascara and I love it. Also, SO IN LOVE with these balms.

  • While in Mississauga, I went to The Dr. Seuss Experience and oh man, it’s wildly overpriced for what it is. I mean, it’s in an old Sport Chek for christsake. Should’ve cost $5/person, MAX.

  • Excited to see this movie (below), love a winter horror movie.

  • I saw Once Upon A Time In Hollywood and it’s very okay. Definitely not among the best movies I saw in 2019. Also, I think I really don’t like Quentin Tarantino. Gotta remember that next time. Overrated hack.

  • I love to read about food and I love this “Best Meals Eaten This Decade” list.

  • There’s this postal store in the East Village that I’m quickly falling in love with. They act like a post office, but they also sell various independent lines of greeting cards and small gifts. Love this place.

  • I tried a sample of Glossier’s Cloud Paint and I think I might splurge and get one. I’m still not sold on the idea of using my fingers to rub product on my cheeks (I’m totally fine using my fingers on my eyelids though for some reason), but we’ll see. I’m going to go to the flagship store to try on some colours. Will report back.

  • Absolutely love this piece entitled The Age of The Instagram Face.

  • Some new recipes that I tried for Christmas: I made this heavenly white wine gravy (must remember to make again), this spinach Christmas tree with marinara sauce on the side for dipping that was a huge hit and these pumpkin cheesecake cups.

  • I must have mentioned them before, but the roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke = heaven on earth.

  • Keep this in mind.

  • I went to Lilia for the second time and yes, it’s a very good restaurant. Their bread special is fucking unreal and the agnolotti is stellar, I just wish it weren’t in Brooklyn. I know for sure now that L’Artusi is my favourite place for pasta, but this one is definitely top five.

  • Here are two great things to do when a new year has begun.

  • I recapped what happened in autumn and it’s only slightly pathetic.

  • I made a list of things I’d like to do this winter.

  • Here are some of my favourite photos from the past year.

  • I made a little Christmas video (below) of my holidays that I’ve already watched too many times.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m on the hunt for a new coat (specifically a somewhat-fancy coat, perhaps faux-fur) because I hate not having anything dressy to wear outdoors, I’m really excited to share my resolutions for the year (post coming soon), I’m so interested in getting a lash lift but they’re too expensive so I’ll continue to debate it in my mind, excited about Restaurant Week starting, I finally got Jenny Slate’s new book so I’m looking forward to reading that, and honestly the main thing I want is snow. That’s it. The quietness that comes with it. The bitter air it brings. I want it all and I want it now.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in November over here!