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LIZ HEATHER

October 3, 2024

September Shenanigans 2024

by Liz Heather in Beauty, Food, Ideas, Links, Movies, Personal, Products, Quotes, Recipes, Television


Early autumn sunsets >>

Early autumn sunsets >>

Welcome to the absolute best time of year.

  • The best tweets of the month can be found over here.

  • I wrote about going to Cooperstown, New York.

  • I compiled my favourite summer photos.

  • I recapped how my summer list went.

  • I made an autumn list of things I’d like to do.

  • The AirTrain at JFK was half price for the entire summer! Am I the only one who finds that crazy? In a city where everything costs more with each passing day. Blown away by that. It’s back to the ridiculous/normal pricing now, but still.

  • I went to my first dog swim event (!) and it was absolutely heaven on earth. At the end of summer, public pools open up their pools on the last swim day of the season to let dogs go swimming and it’s as great as it sounds. (Baby Dog is too delicate to partake, but we watched from a safe distance.)

  • Forever a lover of autumn mums. And $9 for 9” ones at Home Depot? Get the hell out of here with that pricing. Amazing.

Autumn mums

  • I’ve been using GrandeLASH for almost a month now and I’m not really noticing that much of a difference, so if this doesn’t work I’ll give Revitalash a try and if that doesn’t work? I think I can officially say goodbye to lash serums at last. It’s too exhausting. I can’t care about tiny little pieces of hair for the rest of my life.

  • I will never shut up about how incredible this foot peel is from Target. I only need to use it twice a year and it gives you BABY SOFT feet.

  • Went to Dyments Farm in Dundas to try their burger and whoa. Definitely worth the drive.

Burger at Dyments Farm in Dundas, ON

  • In love with everything at Aerie right now, they’re reminding me of early Aritzia pieces (at the old Aritzia prices) and I should really shut up about it before it becomes like current Aritzia and therefore is way too expensive.

  • Came across a new way to do beach waves with a straightener and it totally works.

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  • Are you aware that Staples recycles all old electronics? I brought in some old printers and it’s way easier than taking it to a dump.

  • Is The Ordinary a con? I have never had a positive experience with any of their products. Even the name makes me think they’re just messing with us?

  • Tried and absolutely loved the gluten-free Costco frozen pizza. Makes no sense.

  • The smash burgers at Oklahoma Burgers in Mississauga are decadent as hell.

Oklahoma Burgers in Mississauga, ON

  • Went to the Toronto Vintage Clothing Show for the first time in years and got an insanely nice coat. I only want fun coats for the rest of my life. Also got a mini glass bottle of perfume from the 40s to stay in my purse that was $5.

Perfumes at the Toronto Vintage Clothing Show

  • In love with this Simons belt.

  • I made these turkey meatballs from the LCBO magazine Food & Drink and they were pretty disappointing. Must remember to not trust all their recipes.

  • The dark chocolate pistachios from Trader Joe’s are unholy. Could eat bags and bags of them.

  • Ridiculously in love with the Whole Foods pumpkin bites. A perfect autumn bite.

Pumpkin bites at Whole Foods

  • Some things I watched:

    • The Perfect Couple: Okay, I could argue for an hour about how bad this was. Yes, a whodunit is fun. But that’s where the fun ended. It was so badly written and terribly shot. God, anything can be made these days.

    • The Trini episode of Atlanta: what a great episode. Makes me want to watch the rest of the show.

    • Only Murders in the Building: Really liking this season. The Perfect Strangers moments? Wonderful. I kind of need Richard Kind and Martin Short in a scene together soon though (Clifford reunion!).

    • English Teacher: best new show I’ve seen in SUCH a long time. I love the kid Jeff. The music choices are so good. So many good lines, I can’t even quote them all.

    • Mamma Mia: I’d never seen it, so we put it on and yikes. I truly hate singing in (most) movies. Fast-forwarded all the songs. Other than that, not a terrible movie.

    • Emily in Paris: this tweet really sums up the show.

    • Transformers: Rise of the Beasts: Only my ten year old nephew could get me to watch something like this. It wasn’t terrible! Weird to hear Pete Davidson in it, but definitely not the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

    • Hustlers: Not good. But Mister Bruce was the best part.

    • Rewatched: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Dangerous Minds, Barbarian, Old. All still great.

    • I’m watching tons of Twilight Zones episodes each night and this quote (below) from the episode Passage on the Lady Anne just swallowed me up.

“Love has its own particular point of view. It sees everything larger than life. Nothing is too ornate, too fanciful, too dramatic. Love demands the theatrical, and then transfigures it. It turns the grotesque into the lovely, as a child does. With it, we can see what we wish to see in other people. Without it, we can’t see anything at all. We can search forever, and never find.”
— The Twilight Zone

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: finishing up my Halloween costume, cooking everything for Thanksgiving, making the leftover sandwich and I really want to see the movie Hush.

Will forever love sunflowers at night

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in August over here.

TAGS: Liz Heather, September 2024, September Shenanigans 2024, monthly, monthly roundup, monthly post, Baby Dog, Dyments Farm, Oklahoma Burgers, burgers Ontario, best burgers Ontario, sunflowers at night, The Twilight Zone, love quote, Passage on the Lady Anne, Old, Barbarian, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Dangerous Minds, Hustlers, Mister Bruce, Pete Davidson, Transformers, rise of the beasts, Emily in Paris, television, Mamma Mia, The Perfect Couple, English Teacher, best new show, Only Murders in the Building, Richard Kind, Martin Short, Clifford, Atlanta, Trini, pumpkin bites, pumpkin bites Whole Foods, Simons, Simons belt, dark chocolate pistachios Trader Joe's, turkey meatballs, Food and Drink, Toronto Vintage Clothing Show, vintage perfume, mohair coat, smash burgers Mississauga, GF Costco pizza, best GF pizza, The Ordinary, Staples recycles, recycle electronics, beach waves straightener, Aritzia, Aerie, Dyments Farm Dundas, foot peel, best foot peel, Target foot peel, Revitalash, GrandeLASH, lash serum, autumn mums, Home Depot, dog swim, airtrain JFK, NYC


June 13, 2024

May Musings 2024

by Liz Heather in Best of NYC, Food, Links, Movies, Personal, Recipes


Baby Dog in Canada, May 2024

Baby Dog in Canada, May 2024

It has officially been six years of doing these monthly roundup posts since I started them in May of 2018. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. If there’s a lesson here, it’s that change is truly possible. I never would’ve thought I’d be doing these consistently for that long, so that’s wild to me. Thank you to anyone and everyone who has ever even read one. Here’s what went down in May!

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  • The best tweets of the month are over here.

  • I reviewed the hip hop jewelry exhibit at the Natural History Museum.

  • I saw the new rooftop installation at The Met.

  • Vulture wrote about Nathan’s special twice this month and I couldn’t be prouder.

  • The New York Times also loved Nathan’s newest special Down With Tech!

  • I made this one pan pepper steak with added mushrooms that I will absolutely do again.

  • My favourite Met gala looks:

The hair, the makeup, the dress = all of it is perfection, she just needs to leave Justin to fully become perfect in this moment

The back of Mindy Kaling’s dress is HIGH ART

  • The author of my favourite book, Paul Auster, passed away so I think a re-reading of Mr. Vertigo is in order soon.

  • I visited the newly opened Paramount Theatre in Brooklyn to see Belle & Sebastian (they were great) and what a beautiful venue.

God, this was a fun night

  • I tried cottage cheese for the first time and it wasn’t terrible! I still say that “cottage cheese” is the most disgusting thing it could have been named, though. I made this fake chocolate mousse with it and Nathan ate every last bite. I also made a fake “ice cream” with cottage cheese + frozen blueberries that was actually good. I won’t pretend to tell you it tasted like real ice cream, but it was surprisingly edible.

Cottage cheese + frozen blueberry ice cream that’s not actually ice cream, I can’t lie to you

  • We had a huge Baby Dog scare where she tore a ligament in her leg and our vet was an absolute nightmare with prescribing her these insanely strong pills that made our lives a living hell for a week. Thankfully she’s back to normal and better than ever. We also started her on these cataract eye drops that may actually help her sight, will report back on these in a few more weeks.

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  • I tried the new chickpea pasta from Trader Joe’s and I like it better than Banza (it’s cheaper, too). Also tried their new, incredible honeycomb candy.

Chocolate covered toffee is the answer

  • Love this essay by Glynnis MacNicol and I can’t wait to read her upcoming memoir entitled I’m Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself.

  • Embarrassed to say how much I love the Shake Shack lettuce wrap.

Shake Shack for life.

  • The white chocolate macadamia cream at Starbucks is a problem. I’m really in the macadamia era of my life. No one tells you that your late-30s era is intensely boring?

  • There’s nothing sadder than disappointing soft serve. Marvel: do better.

Even the sprinkles look sad.

  • Truly in love with the shortbread foam hand soap from Bath & Body Works. (Don’t forget their annual sale is going on right now.)

Unreal.

  • Loving the entire ButterBliss line at Target. How is it so damn soft??

  • Tried the new sandwich place Nomad, which is incredible. Took me 39 years to understand that I truly love coleslaw. Again, terrible name choice. Beginning to learn that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover? What a concept?

Burrata sandwich, Nomad

Chicken katsu sandwich, Nomad

  • Quick note: if you ever shop in store at Staples, you should really look up their online prices vs. the in-store price when you’re there. The in-store price is almost always wildly more expensive than the same item listed online and if you show the cashier when you’re checking out - they’ll price match it for the lower price.

  • So I was on a morning walk and I found a lost cat! It was wild and the owners were so sweet about it.

  • Saw Mary Jane with Rachel McAdams on Broadway with Nathan and it was great.

Mary Jane on Broadway, NYC

  • There is an exhibit of old literary posters right now at The Met that is absolutely beautiful.

The Met, May 2024

The Met, May 2024

The Met, May 2024

The Met, May 2024

  • The latkes at Modern Bread and Bagel remain the best in NYC.

Latkes from heaven, Upper West Side

  • Got the new summer scents from Mrs. Meyers and they. are. incredible.

Seasonally scented cleaning products? FUCK ME UP

  • Took Baby Dog to Central Park and she loved it, even if you can’t tell by this forcibly posed photograph.

Baby Dog in Central Park, May 2024

  • I love a street fair because you’ll always find something unique. Creepy-faced magnets? Forever yes.

Street fair magnets

  • Completely forgot about my love for rainbow sherbert.

Rainbow sherbert >>

  • Some things I watched:

    • The Idea of You (Amazon Prime): low maintenance and intensely watchable. The line, “People hate happy women” PERFECT. And Michael Showalter directed it?? What the hell? That’s great.

    • How Stella Got Her Groove Back: it’s pretty gross that the main love interest is a 20 year old boy. And the real life story that it’s based on is AWFUL (spoiler alert: he was actually gay and married her for a green card!!).

    • Under The Tuscan Sun: still great.

    • Twister (the Helen Hunt one): such a great movie. There’s really no need for the remake. Best part? The sheer amount of twisters in the movie. That may seem like a dumb observation, but it really isn’t. It’s just so fast-paced and there’s basically another twister every ten minutes or so.

    • Dream Scenerio: good! Some of the abuse scenes are hard to sit through, but as a whole a really good movie.

    • The Danny Meyer episode of Ina Garten’s show: I was not aware that he basically invented eating at the bar instead of at a table in a restaurant (was also not aware that it needed to be invented??) and I must make the pasta (orecchiette with broccoli rabe and sausage) that he made for Ina in that episode.

    • Emily in Paris (season two): can you tell how desperate I am in finding new shows to watch? It’s not a good show. I hate all the singing, I had to fast-forward those scenes. But I did love these pink shoes.

Bury me in these pink boots

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: finishing off some final spring activities, writing my summer list, I need to dry clean and officially pack away my winter coats, I’ll start doing my Summer Saturdays weekly series again, excited for the new season of The Bear at the end of the month and I’d love to find some new strawberry recipes to make the most of the season.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in April over here.

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TAGS: May, May Musings, May Musings 2024, Liz Heather, Baby Dog, Nathan Macintosh, The New York Times, hip hop exhibit NYC, rooftop The Met, The Met, The Met Gala, Vulture, Down With Tech comedy special, pepper steak, steak recipe, best steak recipe, Jessica Biel, Mindy Kaling, Paul Auster, Mr. Vertigo, Paramount Theatre, Belle and Sebastian, Brooklyn, cottage cheese, cottage cheese chocolate mousse, cottage cheese blueberry ice cream, cottage cheese dessert recipe, cataract eye drops dogs, chihuahua, chihuahua cataract eye drops, chickpea pasta Trader Joe's, honeycomb candy Trader Joe's, Glynnic MacNicol, I'm Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself, Shake Shack, white chocolate macadamia Starbucks, Marvel soft serve, shortbread foam soap, Bath and Body Works, ButterBliss Target, Nomad sandwiches NYC, coleslaw, burrata sandwich, chicken katsu, Staples, price match Staples, Mary Jane Broadway, Rachel McAdams, Broadway NYC, old literary posters. exhibit The Met, best latkes NYC, Modern Bread and Bagel, Mrs. Meyers Clean Day, Mrs. Meyers, tomato vine Mrs. Meyers, fresh cut grass Mrs. Meyers, Central Park, magnets, vegetable magnets, Baskin Robbins, The Idea of You, Michael Showalter, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Under The Tuscan Sun, Twister, Helen Hunt, Dream Scenerio, Danny Meyer, Ina Garten, pasta recipe, Emily in Paris, rainbow sherbert, May 2024, May Musings 2024 Liz Heather, Baby Dog grass, Baby Dog summer, green grass, summer treat, Vulture blog


March 6, 2021

February Feats 2021

by Liz Heather in Advice, Beauty, Food, Ideas, Links, Movies, Personal, Products, Recipes, Television


The best month has arrived! I know this has been a full year of complete trash, but spring is coming and it’s always the most hope-filled season, in my eyes. So even if I’m living in a dream world, let’s pretend that things might get better.

  • First things first, I tested positive for COVID earlier this month, but I’ve recovered completely and I know that I’m crazy lucky to have had it so mildly. I lost my sense of taste and smell for only a few weeks and it’s almost 100% back now, which is amazing. Somehow, magically, I didn’t infect my parents and they both tested negative (I was staying with them since autumn of last year), so that was also another little miracle.

  • Some movies I rewatched in my isolation: Groundhog Day (it’s the perfect movie to watch in a pandemic), Titanic (I think I rewatch this maybe two or three times a year, it never stops being great), and Stepmom (haven’t seen this in years and though I don’t love the movie, the part when the little boy says to his mother, “No one will ever love you like I love you” is weep-worthy).

  • Some new things I watched:

    • I finished the first five seasons of Superstore and it’s just a great show, with such good characters, fully recommend. The only part I hated was Sandra giving away Jerry to Carol, I just seethed at that joke for some reason.

    • The new To All The Boys I’ve Loved movie that came out. Yes, it’s super corny at times but it’s also very cute.

    • Emily in Paris, I don’t know why, it was a weird month. My two takeaways? The woman looks 12 years old, so I don’t know… the whole premise feels weird when you think you’re watching a child. And Darren Star must really find it truly hilarious when American women step in shit in France. His favourite joke on this planet, apparently.

    • The new Britney Spears documentary. Love her, loved it, hope things turn out all right for her.

    • Promising Young Woman, I loved it. Such an original, well done movie. Certain parts are slightly triggering if you’ve ever dealt with similar abuse situations, but overall it’s really, really good. (The soundtrack is great, too.)

    • Stanley Tucci’s CNN show Searching For Italy. Amazing! Love this man! I’ve had this dream trip around Italy planned for years that I intend to take one day and this show allows me to bask in that dream even harder. I should do a post about the specifics of this trip (I have it all organized within a Word document and map outlines), that way I can get people to contribute any must-do things that I should add. Okay, yes, I’ll post that later this month.

    • The Cecil Hotel series. Okay, look, the lam-Elisa tuberculosis part is intriguing as hell, but everything else? This could easily have been an hour long special. Also, fuck you Netflix for glazing over mental health issues, and giving such a strong voice to YOUTUBERS who know nothing and spout hurtful conspiracies. The whole series is so manipulatively done, absolutely do not recommend.

  • Have you ever been in a Food Basics? Because christ. It’s the most depressing grocery store chain I’ve ever had the misfortune of entering. Just a shocking vibe. Never again.

  • I’ll never understand why mixed bouquets exist when beautiful arrangements like this are an option. They’re always breathtaking.

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A post shared by Ira 🕊 (@doll_memories)

  • I tried a sample of a coffee body scrub from Mine Tan and I want to buy a full sized version immediately. It makes you so insanely soft that it’s completely worth the mess that it makes after using it in the shower.

  • I made hummingbird cake for the first time and it was incredible, everyone should make this cake. The photo isn’t good, but the cake absolutely was. Will totally make again. You can’t really even taste any of the pineapple, but it makes it so moist and enjoyable for days after you’ve made it.

Hummingbird cake

  • I tried the TikTok leggings and they suhuuuuuuck. Don’t buy them. Shady material. Does nothing for any ass. In order for these to look like they do in the photo, you must have previously bought the ass that goes along with it.

  • I made queso that was TERRIBLE. Must remember to always use a recipe that uses Velveeta, anything else will result in a terrible queso.

  • Tried the carrot cake Oreos and of course they’re good. Oreo has been flawless these past few years at constantly reinventing themselves and succeeding. Love to see that in a cookie.

  • I made this orange pound cake with orange glaze and it makes your home smell like heaven. Taste was phenomenal, too. Such a good late winter recipe.

  • I tried to get into this Mark Twain biography and it was just too dense. I lasted a few pages before slowly shutting it and placing it far away from me. I know so little about the man (hence the reason I wanted to read his book) but you couldn’t pay me to finish that thing. He remains a mystery to me and I’ve come to terms with that.

@juliem717

#dogs #dog #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pups #puppy #viral #boredinthehouse #foryoupage

♬ Home - Edith Whiskers
  • I know it’s 2021 but I’ll always be excited to see a Shyamalan movie. The premise seems terrible, but maybe good terrible?

  • I didn’t even know that light switches were allowed to be this gorgeous.

  • I also tried to read Lindy West’s latest book Shit, Actually and… I hated it. Well, what I read I hated. I really didn’t find any of it funny, which is weird because I love her. The only good chapter that I read was the one about The Fugitive. Loved this part: “I was going to say that they don’t make movies like this anymore, where the last thirty minutes is just one continuous incredible chase, except they do, all the time, but they make it all CGI so it’s impossible to care about. Who cares about a drawing of a very fast exploding truck that a computer made? Not me!“

  • I finally watched the VHS from my fifth grade play Newsies and it did not disappoint. I was magical.

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  • My dad and I have been sending our stamps to Oxfam for awhile now, you should send them any of your used stamps, too! It’s such a good organization. We save up all our stamps that come in and then send them a package a few times a year.

  • Speaking of stamps, did you know that you can suggest a Canadian stamp theme? I do this every so often, one day I swear one of my ideas will make the cut. This is such a great idea for kids, too.

  • They finally opened a Detroit style pizza place in Mississauga! Gotta try it the next time I’m there.

  • I made Yorkshire pudding for the first time and it turned out well! I’m not a huge fan of the dull flavours, but I think if I used actual beef fat instead of shortening, then it would’ve tasted a bit stronger. Next time, for sure.

Yorkshire pudding

  • I bought this cake stand and dome from IKEA for my parent’s house and good god, what’s not perfect about a cake dome. What cake doesn’t benefit from its own little palace?

  • Best tweets of the month ahead.

Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.

— THEMESS (@cityyyy___) February 1, 2021

When you scream out the lyrics of a song but it hasn’t gotten to that part yet. pic.twitter.com/hPj4EIPHBG

— 🌪⚡️Quiet Storm⚡️🌪 (@y0ur___highness) February 2, 2021

can’t sleep thinking about how new zealand has concerts and we have “wear two masks”

— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) February 5, 2021

tom brady is much like god, a big unkillable bitch who wants us to be unhappy

— bog person (@bromanconsul) February 8, 2021

america is the only country that would "honor" an icu nurse by having her do the coin toss before an openly sanctioned superspreader event

— Jack Crosbie (@jscros) February 7, 2021

for some awful reason my boyfriend and i keep accidentally wearing similar outfits but he's a foot taller than me so i look like a furious little doll of him

— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) February 8, 2021

My toddler daughter spent 30 min telling me she don’t like crab legs and then sat in my damn lap and had me feeding her crab legs and gone tell me “dip it in butter good”

— Hueless P. Newton aka Shaun Scheme (@NotSoNewlywedPC) January 29, 2021

bro where do i even start 😔 pic.twitter.com/ehXFk0GjjX

— SOSA (@PLENTYCASH_WAVY) February 2, 2021

I hate when kids scream in public... you don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming. ME

— Jay Skutt (@JaySkuttt) February 1, 2021

the whole idea of a highschool reunion is so messy??? like what is there to gain?

— sarah lugor!! (@sarahlugor) February 6, 2021

me: why tf does my back hurt?

also me: pic.twitter.com/maaayXkf4u

— $AM𖤐 (@40SANDSHORTiEZ) January 30, 2021

someone gotta tell the waiter i ordered mashed potatoes and it aint gon be me https://t.co/Xs1Oei21BZ

— zoe papi (@negIed) February 7, 2021

i wonder what lessons i internalized as a little girl watching what society did to @MonicaLewinsky.

— crystal may snowball (@tashakaminsky) February 8, 2021

I miss the days where goalies looked like 59 year old LCBO employees. pic.twitter.com/XKnJcJRShK

— Rodrigo Fernandez-Stoll (@rodrigofstoll) February 8, 2021

BC stands for Before Coronavirus now. Sorry Jesus take a hike

— Rachel Kiki (@RachelKiki_) February 12, 2021

Someday we won’t be a hostage situation that’s dressed up as a country.

— Kashana (@kashanacauley) February 13, 2021

paying $23 for a lukewarm hamburger delivered by a guy who has never had health insurance, our economy is running flawlessly

— Django Gold (@django) February 14, 2021

Actually, America got some fucking nerve asking for any taxes after how it showed its ass last year.

— Hype William Carlos Williams (@sheedemilio) February 13, 2021

Netflix documentaries are always like, here is the story of a teen murdered on a boat but before we get to that let’s do 3 episodes on the history of water.

— greg stone blue check mark (@gregstone_) February 14, 2021

Same energy pic.twitter.com/Hjl0Eompxe

— Nathan McDermott (@natemcdermott) February 14, 2021

the cOST???? of LIVING??????? has anybody even said that out loud lol

— nat “cops break laws to terrorize/intimidate” puff (@LeftAtLondon) February 13, 2021

7th grade Spanish teacher taught us that patatas bravas were called that because the potatoes were brave for going into the spicy sauce and I will cherish that thought for the rest of my life. Honor them. Honor their sacrifice

— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 14, 2021

I walk out of showers with all the answers

— JP (@jpbrammer) February 14, 2021

In Mexico (probably other places too), Valentine’s Day is “the day of love and friendship.” But Americans only seem interested in the romantic connections, as if platonic relationships aren’t just or even more foundational to a person’s life. Friendship doesn’t get enough credit.

— Carlos Aguilar (@Carlos_Film) February 14, 2021

hello?? excuse me???? i will cry pic.twitter.com/kaqRU9xYLe

— sarah (@heavenbrat) February 13, 2021

Like 3 weeks ago Gen z discovered wearing baggy pants and started standing pigeon toed in fit pics now suddenly my skinny jeans are cringe? Suck yaself

— malik nimale⁉️ (@AshyMalik) February 14, 2021

This guy. Saw him in the airport once and got scared before I remembered he’s an actor. pic.twitter.com/UEGjZg3fgs

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) February 15, 2021

so much of the patriarchy is men creating an imaginary woman for people to hate

— ashley ray (@theeashleyray) February 14, 2021

This is Doc. He wants to be a beekeeper. Definitely didn’t get stuck going through the trash. 13/10 dream big buddy pic.twitter.com/KHWsFpADVj

— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) February 16, 2021

Genuinely never heard someone say a man’s voice is annoying. So maybe we replace that phrase with “I hate women” and save everyone some time.

— SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) February 16, 2021

Why are the “are you a robot tests” which of these are a fire hydrants ? They should be like, describe love.

— greg stone blue check mark (@gregstone_) February 17, 2021

A short story about decisions 🙂 pic.twitter.com/smdHGQ8bwR

— Paul 😂🤣🤪 (@PaulLaugh45) February 16, 2021

Every year on NYE I think “no way they can turn this number into glasses” and every year I am wrong

— Lola Buncher (@bolaluncher) February 9, 2021

babe what’s wrong? you’ve hardly embodied my idealized version of you today

— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 16, 2021

My post covid prediction is that it will bring a sudden, strong revival of 2007-style party photography

— 𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖑 𝖗𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 🎡🎟 (@rabbitwhite) February 17, 2021

Instagram is a dating app and a PR firm and nothing else.

— Irene Morales (@irenesmoraless) February 17, 2021

This is what they meant by no one could recognize Superman with glasses on pic.twitter.com/uuBU4WpUI0

— Darceimus Prime 🤖 (@MissDarcei) February 17, 2021

i love contactless delivery they just throw the slop at your door and i run out like a little pig

— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) February 11, 2021

me waiting for them to drive away so i can do it in peace 🐷 pic.twitter.com/prc4F0jVvW

— MADELEINE 🥀 (@madeleinemua) February 11, 2021

Idolizing a politician is like believing the stripper really likes you.

— Larinzo (@LarinzoMosley) February 17, 2021

I hate when the washing machine is on the scary part.

— CLS (@CurtisLSharkey) February 17, 2021

Turns out believing in yourself is something you have to do over and over again. Cool.

— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) February 18, 2021

Sorry to get so political, but I just don’t think anyone deserves to freeze to death

— Larry (@lahreigh) February 17, 2021

Scientists have successfully combined every Seinfeld character pic.twitter.com/wmxFAl4Odm

— the responsible uncle (@DaveMcNamee3000) February 19, 2021

If you were in your 20’s circa 2003 in Toronto you were unfortunately a member of broken social scene and you are entitled to compensation

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) February 19, 2021

I love games like the Sims and animal crossing like "imagine how you could decorate a home if you had money"

— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) February 19, 2021

Jesus, one of the saddest things about living in America is watching people realize in real time that no help is coming

— Lesbian Death Bed: The Bed That Eats Pussy (@bitterkarella) February 19, 2021

Welcome to the weekend! 💕 pic.twitter.com/5jPsdO6z6u

— Katie S. Phang (@KatiePhang) February 20, 2021

Couples on onlyfans captioning their videos like “oiled up slut takes bbc” like sir, that is your wife.

— Majin Buu (@Jessieraee5) February 19, 2021

My glass of wine is starting to taste like I’m Friends With Everyone Online

— Grace Bahler (@oatmilkforever) February 20, 2021

black parents really treat you like you asked to be here😂😂😂

— Monaee🧞‍♀️ (@brimonaee_) February 19, 2021

i miss going to the airport and having sexual tension between you and anyone who's remotely your age

— rebecca jennings (@rebexxxxa) February 22, 2021

an essay is complete when i cannot bear to look at it any longer

— m (@mary__retta) February 22, 2021

Been drinking outta the same giant blue cup for a year now and I think everyone I zoom with really hates the sight of the fucking thing.

— David Stassen (@davidstassen) February 24, 2021

parents can tell when ur drunk or high but can’t tell when ur 8 years into having an eating disorder

— angel baby (@unwh0retunate) February 24, 2021

How I think I look in a scarf How I really look in a scarf pic.twitter.com/FYvWiGCD2E

— Fiona Taylor (@fionaleslie) February 24, 2021

Nobody:
My mom: they’re just jealous of you.

— CAELI K. (@OnlyCaeliK) February 25, 2021

I don’t watch marvel movies because it just feels unrealistic that Americans would uhh... save the world

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) February 26, 2021

'Why fit in when you were born to stand out?' says yet another bio from a mother of three who's engagement photos of her and her bearded plaid shirt wearing partner were taken in a pumpkin patch

— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) February 26, 2021

there are 7-10 women i could text at any point in time that will justify a fucked up purchase for me and i’d die for them

— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) February 25, 2021

I hate that going out and getting a little exercise actually makes me less depressed. Fuck you

— Sophie (@jil_slander) February 25, 2021

$15/hr is only just over $31k a year. We’re begging to be just poor instead of severely impoverish and we can’t even get that.

— not accepting applicants at this time (@_fohsarah) February 26, 2021

Whatever’s going on in outer space is literally none of my business

— Rachel Davies (@rachelcomplains) February 26, 2021

every time kevin from Backstreet Boys gets to sing a line i think ‘good for him’

— jamieloftus 🏂 (@jamieloftusHELP) February 27, 2021

normalize women putting as many, or as little, exclamation marks as they want to in emails and still respecting them either way🤝

— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) February 27, 2021

Didn’t know I needed this pic.twitter.com/g8UQau46s0

— Steve Braband (@stevebraband) February 27, 2021

me telling my computer i’ll update everything tomorrow pic.twitter.com/5NIGfcJfB7

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 28, 2021

would be a huge power move for kanye to wheel out the robert kardashian hologram as his divorce lawyer

— louisa (@louisakeight) February 20, 2021

It’s like I always say, any girlfriend of my friend is a girlfriend of mine

— Diego Lopez (@thisdiegolopez) February 28, 2021

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: can’t wait to make this kale caesar with breadcrumbs, there are surprisingly good Sephora rewards available right now (I just got the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Serum Crystal Elixir reward that I can’t wait to try even though I have zero idea what it does), I’m going to do some research into all of these books and try to find the best ones at the library, I’m so excited that Shrill has a release date (May 7th), I’d love to get a haircut, and I can’t wait to get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. Oh, and I plan on eating the hell out of this leek focaccia at Lilia.

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If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in January over here.

TAGS: February Feats, February Feats 2021, Liz Heather, monthly post, monthly roundup, COVID, Groundhog Day, Titanic, Stepmom, movies, Superstore, TV, To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Emily in Paris, Netflix, Britney Spears, documentary, Promising Young Woman, Stanley Tucci, CNN, Searching For Italy, Italy, Cecil Hotel, Elisa Lam, Food Basics, grocery store Mississauga, mixed bouquets, flowers, beautiful flowers, coffee body scrub, Mine Tan, beauty, hummingbird cake, recipes, best recipes, pineapple, TikTok leggings, fake ass, Amazon, queso, The New Yorker, carrot cake Oreos, orange pound cake, desserts, spring desserts, late winter recipe, orange glaze, Mark Twain, books, Lindy West, Shrill, dogs, M. Night Shyamalan, Old movie, Old 2021, gorgeous light switch, Shit Actually, The Fugitive, CGI, VHS, Newsies, Newsies play, grade five, Fairview Public School Mississauga, Oxfam, stamps, donating stamps, suggest a Canadian stamp, Detroit style pizza, Detroit style pizza Mississauga, Mississauga, NYC, Yorkshire pudding, food, cake stand and dome, IKEA, best tweets