The Best Halloween Tweets

If you weren’t there you will never understand how absolutely terrifying this film was when it came out because at first nobody knew whether or not it was real https://t.co/6hNt2jYP4h

— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) October 9, 2023

comic by @SarahCAndersen pic.twitter.com/IyeCd77L4T

— WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme) October 23, 2023

A haunted house but each room features a different Facebook post of yours from 2009

— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) September 30, 2024

Look at all this beautiful foilage! pic.twitter.com/uEEa01yz2c

— Simpsons Daily Glavins 👻 (@simpsons_DG) October 4, 2024

There’s a whole generation that was first introduced to The Raven because of The Simpsons. Myself included. https://t.co/wlWxvbXQOk

— Massimo Cubello (@massimocubello) October 5, 2024

Instead of sleeping you can watch Halloween episodes of classic sitcoms

— Humanstein H20 (1998) (@Humanstein) October 7, 2024

Here's a commercial for A Pinky and the Brain Halloween that I ripped from an old VHS recording... pic.twitter.com/PRmfk5egFS

— Tanooki Joe (@TanookiKuribo) October 7, 2024

Scream has a "no thanks" credit. never noticed this before. pic.twitter.com/rX69TanZ8i

— Maddie 🎃 (@Maddie_Moron) October 14, 2024

how it feels to explain your niche halloween costume to someone pic.twitter.com/vzYaXeWGVI

— mikk (@mikealss) October 19, 2024

Passed a business guy in downtown Chicago who yelled "I don't care what they want, I need to be home on Halloween!" into his phone. There are 90s family-comedy films all around us for those with eyes to see.

— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) October 23, 2024

Drew Barrymore being the biggest movie star in this film by far, being all over the film’s marketing & promotional material, & being positioned as the final girl in a Wes Craven slasher only to be the opening first kill is just simply iconic.

You really had to be there. https://t.co/a5Yyz3izjo

— Jesabel (@JesabelRaay) October 22, 2024

A quick reminder to everyone before Halloween: if someone shows up to your house in costume, it doesn't matter how old you think they are, give them candy. Our planet needs more joy, and we need to give kids smiles and sugar for participating in our silly traditions.

— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 24, 2024

Every time I go to a haunted house, it never makes sense. Who lived here? They didn't have a kitchen or any bathrooms but a giant maze in the middle? Can that gentleman with the chainsaw help? This is an architectural nightmare.

— Jesse Case (@jessecase) October 24, 2024

god, never seen san francisco this bad. spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood, things have got to change

— arlin golden (@cerealburrito) October 27, 2024

My boyfriend got mad at me the other night because I was talking about ghosts when I knew he had to walk down a dark hallway the next day.

— Christin (@hexprax) October 27, 2024

Halloween is really better served as a house party than an event at a club

— Himberly (@himbo_anonymous) October 28, 2024

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

Best Tweets of October

Everyday that I don’t live in an abandoned mansion swallowed by the woods is a day lost pic.twitter.com/Shb33Zlyxt

— Doth (@DothTheDoth) October 16, 2021

12 years ago my wife's grandma told her "laundry is the best job for a women because it doesn't require a lot of thinking" and ever since, out of pure disgust, I have done every single load of laundry in our household but it just occurred to me now that I might have been setup

— Joe Mead (@JosephWMead) October 17, 2021

Kid: Look what I can do. *jumps in the air*
Grandparents: pic.twitter.com/BrG1chh12k

— Fanta Bility #SayHerName (@MeWeFree_) October 17, 2021

Physically I’m living through a housing crisis, but emotionally I’m a children’s book writer living in a little flat above a public library: pic.twitter.com/JCV8Bemw5t

— Icona 📚🎃 (@Iconawrites) October 18, 2021

She’s so fine she made him look regular looking omg https://t.co/ujN9vy66wF

— ooo, i like the jwett (@KisseslikeKay) October 18, 2021

if im ever in a coma please put vaseline on my lips

— 🥀 (@ripfeelings) October 19, 2021

Every seat at @PhantomOpera has a mask, a practical mask, a tote, and a fresh rose. 😭 pic.twitter.com/BCcPo11XmQ

— 🎃Quoth the Rey-ven: “pay fair wages.”🎃 (@RLindnerLolong) October 22, 2021

Here is your Box 5 view of the chandelier rising over Broadway once again. #PhantomBroadway #PhantomIsBack pic.twitter.com/zuliOHWEP0

— The Phantom Of The Opera (@PhantomOpera) October 23, 2021

Bobcat Goldthwait on "cancel culture." pic.twitter.com/RBgyzvHHu7

— Josiah Walrus (@Josiah_Walrus) October 23, 2021

I went to an apartment in the French Quarter tonight for a little party and I asked the tenant if they had any ghosts and they said "We do not talk about the ghosts unless we are away from the building"

— jami attenberg (@jamiattenberg) October 24, 2021

All dogs go to heaven.. pic.twitter.com/u01pBNOlH9

— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden_) October 26, 2021

Hang in there, Vanessa Hudgens’ dog pic.twitter.com/ik322NIbRW

— Washington Post TikTok Ghoul 👻 (@davejorgenson) October 26, 2021

New Study Finds People Who Sit For At Least 5 Hours Each Day Are Comfier https://t.co/QYgmj4vnZi pic.twitter.com/zHToTQGaMe

— The Onion (@TheOnion) October 27, 2021

A dog approaches you wearing this costume, wyd??? 😭

pic.twitter.com/fxw68aR9vM

— ᴘᴀᴠʟᴏᴠ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀɢɪ (@PAVGOD) October 26, 2021

I am watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding for the first time in years, and why OH WHY did teenage-me think Nia Vardalos was plus-sized?? The early 2000s, man! 🤦‍♀️ pic.twitter.com/DGNy0vzMYI

— Emily Richardson (@emrich44) October 27, 2021

“your crush is coming act natural”

ME: https://t.co/DlhEKLcyqi

— 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 💋 (@The__Divya) October 29, 2021

say what you will about this show but this one frame will always delight me pic.twitter.com/IJFuEosyoj

— rachel syme (@rachsyme) October 29, 2021

pic.twitter.com/ZFiu7ipq94

— out of context sex and the city (@andjustlike) October 29, 2021

cats when you pet them too long: pic.twitter.com/xgS0aZATGk

— Village of the Adamned (@Browtweaten) October 30, 2021

Tweet of the week pic.twitter.com/t7i4WMdRhG

— I Pray for the Carbz…Waiting for Thanksgiving (@sissythatpatch) October 30, 2021

I wanted to come up with a Halloween costume that was a “sexy” version of something that made no sense. I present to you…”sexy afghan from the couch on Roseanne.” HAHA…

Tomorrow is another costume. pic.twitter.com/nCstAcrFRB

— Cristela Alonzo (@cristela9) October 31, 2021

You can find the best tweets of the rest of October over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.