Available online at Six Dollar Shirts
Available online at Six Dollar Shirts
If there are any hardcore Simpsons fans in your life (other than me), I think I've just found them the perfect gift. (I looked for a baseball hat - is it hat or cap? - with the Isotopes logo and that one was surprisingly hard to find. Will keep looking.)
The hoodie's available for under $20, too!
I feel like I should write this post in 36 point font or something. I won't, but please know that I'm fighting the urge.
Now, where the hell should I start?
As you may recall, I've been wanting to visit here for awhile now. That dream finally came true this past week and I just wanted to share a few reasons why you may want to go as well. Notice how I'm assuming we're all Simpsons fans here? My stream of logic is that if you're here reading this blog, then you somewhat like my opinions ie. you like me. And if you like me, I probably like you. And if I like you, there's an understanding between us that The Simpsons have forever changed us all (at least slightly) for the better since they first aired. Yes? Yes.
Why didn't I pass out from excitement standing at this sign? Lord only knows. Only Tianna will ever truly know how happy this place made me.
While there were a lot of options for food, we finally decided on Krusty Burger.
When you're ordering your food (we split the Krusty Burger as well as The Ribwich), the individual ingredients for the burger are all visible (similar to Subway) and the beef patties look absolutely disgusting. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I'm gonna go with yes it was intentional. And that kind of detail? Amazing. I was extremely nervous about eating something that looked SO bad (Tianna felt the same), but we did - and it was an amazing burger. I could've had another one. The Ribwich on the other hand? Yikes. That one was rough, man.
There's an attachment to Moe's Tavern from Krusty Burger so we got a booth at Moe's. I really just sat there in awe of how incredible they made Moe's look.
After we finished eating, I got a Duff and then sat at the bar for a bit. Tianna got a Buzz Cola and it was eons better than any Coke or Pepsi I've ever had. Just saying.
They had a working Love Tester machine in the corner, so obviously Tianna and I had a go at it.
Across from Moe's is the Duff Brewery. If you look closely, you may see some of my captured excitement between Edgy and Tipsy (if you don't know the names of The Seven Duffs - Edgy, Remorseful, Dizzy, Tipsy, Surly, Queasy and Sleazy - then I guess you have a life).
The fact that they had life sized monuments like these made my heart explode with joy.
In the Kwik-E-Mart, they were selling things like Yao Ming and Tom Hanks Simpsonized action figures. Why? Because heaven exists. The store employees even said, "Thank you, come again!" in a non-racist voice!
I'm thankful that a walking, talking Milhouse in costume wasn't around because even this moment made me feel a little weird... down there.
The Simpsons Ride was great, it reminded me of the old Back To The Future ride, which I always enjoyed. There's a new ride for kids called Kang & Kodos’ Twirl ‘n’ Hurl, which was as fun as a carnival ride should be. When the ride was half over, we finally realized that you can control your own car to rise and fall with a lever that's infront of you. To be fair, we were both in a general state of numbness from the overload of emotions going on within our very souls, so it makes sense that we didn't notice a small button.
We didn't play any games in Krustyland mostly because we had too much else to see, but the game operators seemed to know tons of Simpsons trivia and references and were shouting it out constantly, which I obviously loved.
And this donut? Not only was it the best tasting donut of my life, but also the prettiest. Please don't eat it all yourself. I cut it up into cake slices and ate it at home with my family as it is ginormous.
I don't really know where to go from here, to be honest. Marriage? Kids? Those things equally blow when compared with this wondrous land. My two regrets?
Let me stress how much you should go here. A one day adult pass is $136, but that's really for two parks (Universal Studios as well as Islands of Adventure). Is that steep? Maybe, I don't know. Personally I found it justified since, well, we had an amazing time.
Note: My beautiful niece Tianna was my companion for the day and happily posed for a lot of the coming photos.
Universal Studios Thoughts
E.T. Adventure will always be a great ride. The moment in the middle when you're flying across the moon? Get out of here, it's always going to be special. I don't care how dead you are inside, that has to bring a smile to your face. Everyone must ride this at some point in his/her life.
Twister... Ride It Out was... okay. It wasn't really anything, if that makes sense. You walk into a room, it gets windy, then you exit through the left - I get it. I would've rated this as completely terrible if the charmingly handsome Bill Paxton didn't make an instructional video appearance in the waiting area. God, he's gorgeous. Also, isn't the movie Twister almost twenty years old? I mean, you get rid of the Back to the Future ride and Jaws, but THIS stays? Seems like an odd choice.
Lucy: A Tribute is a small museum dedicated to Lucille Ball. As you know, I'm a big fan, so I had to stop in. And if you have any kind of appreciation for her, then you'll really enjoy this.
The Horror Makeup Show was moreso lame than bad, so definitely don't bother seeing it. Tianna and I happened to walk past it just as it was beginning, so we figured we'd go in. It's full of awful jokes and makes fun of celebrities a lot, so if you're into that kind of thing then you'll be into this one.
The Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit roller coaster was really good. This was our longest line of the day at thirty minutes, which is insanity. We got really lucky with ride wait times (tip: go on a week day in May) When you ride it, you get to pick from a selection of songs to individually listen to during the ride, which was neater than it sounds. They also offer photos and VIDEOS of you on the ride for sale. The incline is practically ninety degrees, so it makes for an entertaining video to watch afterward.
We went on the Revenge of the Mummy indoor coaster three times in a row. The line was great 'cause there were little levers to push that would make something fall from above and scare people way ahead of you in the line, too. Why are there not more online reviews about how great this ride is? I feel like Brendan Fraser's association with it may have something to do with that. Why am I continuously mean about Brenden Fraser? It's a mystery, even to me.
I also went to Springfield. And there's too much to say, so I'll post about that later today.
I really love the look of movie studio lots, so even the setup of the park just made me so happy.
Universal Studios
Islands of Adventure Thoughts
The Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey indoor ride? I HAVE NO WORDS. But I guess I have to, so let me continue. I have never, in my entire life, experienced a ride such as this one. And please keep in mind, I'm not a Harry Potter fan. I saw... two of the movies? I don't know, I didn't care. I didn't hate them either, but anyway, just know that I don't have a secret I-love-Harry bias here. To get to this ride, you have to walk through Hogwarts Castle and it is AMAZING. There are a billion different rooms with the coolest kind of things happening in them (I'm being vague on purpose). There's even an area where IT SNOWS ON YOU. And then the ride happens. And, I swear to God, this ride makes you feel like you're apart of the movie. Like, FLYING and junk. This was probably the coolest ride I've ever been on in my life, which is weird to even write. How can it be so good, you ask? Man. I don't know. The amount of effort that went into it? It's incredible, this is the ONLY ride you must go on if you're at this park. And considering how great this ride was, I can't imagine how amazing the Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts one will be when it opens later this summer.
The Dragon Challenge roller coaster was the first ride of our day and it was great, but honestly I can't remember many details because of how blown my brain was from the effects of the last ride.
Umm, why is butterbeer so delicious? No idea, but it is. They serve it either cold or frozen, so we got both (I preferred the cold, Tianna loved the frozen). Drink it, love it, live it.
The Incredible Hulk Coaster is definitely in my top three of favourite roller coasters I've been on. Why? One reason: it shoots you into the sky. Like, alarmingly fast. You really feel like you'll die for a second, it's amazing.
Whatever you do, make sure to at least walk around the Seuss Landing area. It's gorgeous, fun and really looks cool. Also, in the Harry Potter area, you can buy the wands of individual characters and try on those robes. Are they called robes? Anyway, here's Tianna in one.
Honestly, there is nothing cooler than when a theme park makes their lines entertaining. Waiting in lines are the worst part of going to an amusement park, so when they're made to be exciting? Man, I'm gonna love you hard for that, ride engineers. Wait, is it even the engineers who do that stuff? Who the hell is in charge of that? I want that job!
Things We Didn’t Have Time For, But Wish We Did
Verdict? Fuck Disney.
