The Best of October

This might be the hardest week of the year because it’s officially the longest period of time until next Halloween. I tend to take a few days to decompress a bit, so by this coming weekend I’ll be fully ready for holiday-mode. That being said, October was such a great month that felt like almost a year long - in a good way. Here’s what went down.

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I think it’s clear that I watched every good 90s Halloween sitcom episode that I could find links for.

• For Halloween, I dressed up as Tony Montana (Al Pacino) from Scarface and Baby Dog was, umm, my main accessory.

• In love with this article, “The Secret To Marriage Is Never Getting Married.”

• I’ve always wanted to make the Nestle Toll House chocolate chip oatmeal cookies recipe (on the back of the Toll House package) and they were really, really good. Might become a staple in my cookie repertoire.

• I made these soft pumpkin cookies with salted maple icing again this year and they continue to be incredible - and that’s coming from someone who truly hates soft cookies.

• I also made these garlic butter chicken meatballs with creamy orzo (in a slow cooker) and the meatballs were great, I’ll definitely make those again. But the orzo cooked in a crockpot? Hard pass. Pasta always tastes terrible from a crockpot, I knew this and still went ahead, so it’s my fault really.

• I was in Canada for awhile, so I…

  • Went to the new(ish) Keg near Square One and it kind of sucked? What the hell? The meat was nowhere worth the price, which is weird because I remember that it used to be better. I’m trying to find my new Canyon Creek (since it closed) and it’s a hard task to undertake but I won’t give up.

  • I had the burger from Ozzy’s Burgers and the lamb was terrible, but the regular burgers were fantastic.

  • My niece Layla turned 17 (!) so thankfully we were able to get the Milk Bar birthday cake from the Toronto location. It’s such a shame that location is closing at the end of the year.

  • I also planted some bulbs in the garden with my mom, which makes me even more excited for spring to come next year to see if anything blooms.

  • I tried the new Lays flavour Fries & Gravy and good god I love this country.

  • I made the apple fritter cake (again) for (Canadian) (real) Thanksgiving and I. love. this. cake.

  • My dad put up his seasonal bird feeder and I think I’ve said this before, but the answer to life is getting a bird feeder and then sitting down to watch it. Nothing better.

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Heaven on earth?

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My dad & Baby Dog, October 2022

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Mississauga, Ontario - October 2022

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Fries & Gravy Lays

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Oakville, Ontario - October 2022

• I made my way to the Harvest Moon Farm & Orchard in North Salem, NY (with my friend Diana) where we had the best warm apple cider donuts and cider mimosas. Afterward we went for brunch at The Arch restaurant, which was beautiful & old, but nothing really spectacular food-wise.

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Cider mimosa at Harvest Moon Farm & Orchard, North Salem, New York

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Cider donuts at Harvest Moon Farm & Orchard, North Salem, New York

• On Halloween, I took Baby Dog on our annual autumn visit to Central Park and it was bursting with beauty.

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Central Park, October 2022

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Central Park, October 2022

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Central Park, October 2022

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Baby Dog in Central Park, October 2022

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Baby Dog in Central Park, October 2022

• When it comes to all purpose cleaners, I’m in love with Mrs. Meyers. The snowdrop scent is my favourite one (which should be coming out again soon), but I just got the apple cider one and yikes. It’s perfect. Is it sad to have favourite seasonal all purpose cleaners? Absolutely. But here we are. Welcome to your late 30s.

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Mrs. Meyer’s Apple Cider Limited Edition Scent

• Now if we’re talking seasonal coffee drinks? The Starbucks pumpkin cream cold brew (only 1/2 shot of syrup, extra foam) makes me a little sick by the end of the drink, but I still love it. And the vanilla cream cold brew at Tim Hortons is also really good. Oooo and the Tim Hortons hazelnut cold brew with espresso foam? Get out of here, so good. I think I just like foam.

• Loving the new Charlie Brown stamps from the USPS. Wait, who is in charge of deciding the new stamps? Oh god, have I discovered the greatest job on earth? I THINK I HAVE??

• So I got a new Apple charger from The Apple Store, the one that apparently charges faster. Aaaaaand my battery dies even quicker now! Sweet!

• I was scrambling to find a dress for a wedding this month and Bloomingdale’s saved me. How do I always forget about that place? I love an old, good department store. Yes they can be overwhelming, but they’re practically deserted. I have to remember this for the future. Oh! And Macy’s too! Such great dresses for special occasions.

• So Nathan and I went to Los Angeles for a wedding (the dress code was “outdo us”) and we stayed at Citizen M hotel in downtown LA. Let me just say that this is not the type of hotel for two people to share a room, that’s the nicest way I can put it. It’s definitely clean and relatively nice, but the rooms are laughably small. The wedding was fun and I loved walking around downtown LA mostly because of the incredibly well preserved buildings. Sure, the area is pretty dicey but it’s beautifully ancient. We walked to Santee Alley (where I got my new favourite feather clutch) and three days was the perfect amount of time to stay in that area. And the baja tacos from Tocaya were insanely good. Also the Wolfgang Puck Express stand at LAX had really good food to take on the plane.

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Citizen M hotel room, this bed is literally the width of the room

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Baja taco from Tocaya, Downtown LA

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Ummm, is Nathan somehow cooler in LA??

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Okay hold up, are we BOTH COOLER IN LA??

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WE BAD

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California blonde dreams coming true

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The Los Angeles Theatre opened in 1931 - Downtown LA

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The Eastern Columbia Building opened in 1930 - Downtown LA

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The Orpheum Theatre opened in 1926 - Downtown LA

• Speaking of airports, the restaurant The Hearth by Lynn Crawford at Pearson in Terminal 1 in Toronto is great! Get the meatballs. Love it when airport food is above average.

• Of course I listened to the new Taylor Swift album Midnights and the best songs are Question…?, Sweet Nothing, Anti-Hero, Bejeweled, Maroon and You’re On Your Own, Kid.

• Some things I watched this month:

  • Smile: such a fun time. Love a fun horror movie.

  • I rewatched the first two Friday The 13th movies with Layla (her first time seeing them) and I’d forgotten how good they were. They really hold up well over time.

  • Recent SNLs: Nothing super noteworthy in any of the episodes, I like the new guys. I was introduced to that great Megan Thee Stallion song Anxiety, which I can’t stop playing. The worst sketch I’ve seen in years was that Jack Harlow one with the joker. Just awful. Oh, and Colin Farrell looks alarmingly good.

  • Celebrity Jeopardy: I solely watched because I love Ike Barinholtz (and he was great). But look, I know that Celebrity Jeopardy is, like, the easiest Jeopardy to exist. I understand that. But I had no idea how incredibly dumb most celebrities are. I mean, I know they’re not exactly known for their IQ levels but this was actually just wild to watch. Every single person on each episode I saw was a complete moron (with the exception of Ike and Simu Liu).

  • Barbarian: so great, loved every bit of it. Bill Skarsgård remains as hot as always. (Sidenote: I was gushing about Skarsgård later to Nathan before bed and he scoffed and dismissed it so I asked him, “You probably don’t even have an answer, but who would you consider an attractive celebrity man?” and without even a second of hesitation he goes, “Pierce Brosnan in ‘97.” Hahahahahah, god I died. He’s not wrong.)

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I’ve already put my order in for this year’s bayberry candles, I’m finally going to read Dave Grohl’s book, of course I’ll get the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar, I’m definitely gonna go to the NY postcard show, and I’ve already got my ticket to see the Thierry Mugler exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum which opens on the 18th. Oh! And a gentle reminder if you’ve started Christmas shopping: get the damn gift receipt.

If you have any interest in reading what went on in September, come on over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

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Ray of sunshine on my ray of sunshine

Chelsea Does...

I don't really see myself as a huge Chelsea Handler fan since I've never seen her show and I've only read one of her books, but I think that's slowly changing 'cause this series was one of the most entertaining things I've seen on Netflix is awhile.

Each episode covers a different topic (marriage, silicon valley, racism & drugs) for about an hour each and I guarantee you'll enjoy at least one (if not all) of these episodes. I really hope she ends up making more episodes since they're/she's fantastic. 

“I’ll never marry again. I’m just going to find a woman I hate and buy her a house.”

— Rod Stewart

I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This and Other Things That Strike Me as Funny by Bob Newhart - A Review

(Before I begin, I should tell you that I'm fighting the urge to be really negative about this book. Why am I fighting that urge? I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause I'm sure that Bob Newhart is a nice man. And also, I think I'm of the opinion that this book really isn't aimed at my demographic so maybe there was no chance in hell I'd ever have liked it.)

That being said, I intensely disliked this book. If you enjoy hearing the routines (in detailed length) of older comedians' bits, then you'll definitely want to read this. I do not. Nor will I ever. I'm also a fan of memoirs that go a little deeper into the mind of the writer/performer - and this one did no such thing, I thought. And that's fine! That's not his style, I guess. But God, it was a really hard read. 

There, of course, were a few things that I did enjoy and I'll list them now.

• "I've found that fights in marriage are generally about something other than the topic you are arguing over."

• "Comedy can help us make it past something very painful, like death. Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event over which we have no control, deal with it, and then move on with our lives."

That's it. Those are the only parts I liked and/or want to remember. And maybe that makes sense 'cause I'm not an over-70 year old, white man. This book isn't for me! I get that now.

In any case, I'm glad it's over. All I can really say about it is that he's certainly no Martin Short.

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

Mom Says

“Before getting married, it is bad luck to buy your significant other a watch, as it symbolizes that the time of the relationship is running out.”

In Defense of Marriage

I was originally going to post this as "Fury of the Day - Stop Asking Me Why I'm Not Married Yet" but quickly realized that's an overly negative way to talk about what I'm actually trying to say here. I'm gonna do a Q&A type thing ahead so turn away if disgusted.

Why do I feel the need to talk at such length about marriage? I feel like the majority of men I've dated have never expressed any interest in marriage (whether that was specific to a marriage to me or in general, I'm not sure, but the opinion is still relevant here). Other than being the biggest cliché of all time, I've become desensitized to hearing that thought. Personally I have never had the idea that I need to be married, ever. I've always seen it as kind of an ambitious dream, similar to winning the lottery or something. Maybe that's a naive thing to say. Anyway, my point is that I think it's as silly to say "I will never marry" as it is to say "I will be married someday."

Why should marriage be considered important (other than legal reasons) and why would anyone want to do it? The worst answers I've ever heard to this question have been "security" or "commitment." I don't care what any piece of paper says, there isn't a document in existence that can secure someone's devotion to you. The best answer I can think of to possibly want to marry someone would be because I would want to declare to the world that I love this person and I'm going to work my ass off to keep that love going. That's it. I think that might be the most romantic declaration that someone could make. It's so bold and full of faith, I think that's what marriage should be about. (Keep in mind that I know nothing of the matter since I'm not married.) And if you're reading this thinking, "This woman has no fucking idea what marriage is about." You're right! I don't! I only have my lofty ideas, which I think is probably a good thing.

Is it weird that people have such strong opinions about something they've never experienced? Absolutely. I feel just as much weirdness about someone who says they have to get married as compared with someone who absolutely knows they never want it. Both sides are such strange reactions to a completely alien topic. If you haven't done it, you know shit about it. How can you have such a strong opinion? Is it 'cause of your parents? You ain't them! And also, I'd love to hear the reasons why people would want it so badly or why they're so repulsed by the idea of it. I feel like if you're on either sides of those fences, you must have purely stereotypical reasons of what you think marriage is, which makes me (condescendingly) feel sorry for you.

If you believe in marriage, does that mean you have to be anti-divorce? God, I hope not. My parents have been together for almost forty years but that wouldn't have happened if my dad hadn't gone through two divorces before my mom came into the picture. I have to believe in divorce! I'm not saying that I would enter a marriage and expect a divorce, I'm not a maniac, but to be so naive in thinking you're amongst the few who exhibit equal parts hard work and luck? C'mon. Divorce is a reality. I understand now that your parents marriage does not dictate your own personal life. It's taken me a long time to actually believe that statement because growing up with parents who were in love made me think that it came so easily. It makes just as much sense to me why people who didn't experience my childhood have their own overtly negative views on it. But again, that doesn't determine your own choices and future.

Is it normal to get married and not say "forever" in your vows? I really fucking hope so. Instead can't someone just say, "I promise to love you to the fullest for as long as a time I'm given - but that's it. I can't promise your love to me, though. That's your choice. And if some day your love for me vanishes, I will leave you. I want that love. And I will find it from someone else." Is that too harsh for a vow? I feel like it is, but man it's all I could offer.

Are weddings the best? Yes. And I'm not saying this because all women want to get married. If anything, I hope you've never had that thought (otherwise: yikes). I will forever love weddings 'cause they're positive as hell. There's so much fucking optimism and love in that room, you can feel it. No matter what happens, in that moment - that day is fantastic. Even when I was single, I loved weddings. It's a celebration of a kind of faith in something that I've rarely ever felt, how could that not be a fun time? God, I love them.

This is way too long a post for someone who's never been married to be talking about marriage, so I'll stop. I just wish people could be a lot cooler about the subject. I think it's so strange that we're all supposed to have such great knowledge and strong opinions on a topic that we'll never really have any insight on until at least we're in our early eighties or something. 

 You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.