You can find the whole podcast over here.
And you can subscribe to Positive Anger on YouTube if you want to see clips from these podcasts.
New Podcast with Nathan
Also, you can subscribe to Positive Anger on YouTube if you want to see clips from these podcasts.
Happy Birthday, Gary!
My brother Gary's birthday is tomorrow and I hope he realizes how much he is loved and missed (he lives with his family in Scotland). I know I talk a lot about how important siblings are, and I'll continue to do so until absolutely everyone I know is convinced. You're the best, Gary, and I swear I'll try not to make your gift eight months late this year.
Kidstreet!
Holy shit, I just remembered this Canadian game show that I loved when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure it was like a version of the Newlywed game (where contestants guess the answers of their partner) but with siblings instead of couples and kids instead of adults. And uhhhh it was fantastic. I always dreamt of being on it with one of my brothers. God, it was such a good show. And there are episodes on YouTube! Ahhhh!
Year 1 in the UK - By Gary Heather
GUEST POST! I asked my brother Gary to write a post on whatever he liked, so off we go!
As I write this, the heat of a radiator fills the room and a fire is roaring about 8 feet away, but in spite of these incendiary sources, every part of me is cold. I thought I knew what it meant to be cold coming from Canada; a place I lived my entire life before moving here to Glasgow this past summer. In Canada we have extremes, but in this large, 14-ft ceilinged apartment, the temperature rarely changes no matter what happens outside. On the rare hot days, it’s still cold inside our place. On cold days, just as cold. When it’s raining - cold. Sunny? Cold. It doesn’t change in here, it’s as if there’s some sort of force field around the apartment that maintains the internal temperature. Somehow, the interior walls are also always cold, and they radiate this steady chill that permeates through to your bones and just stays there.
For those that don’t know, about a year ago my wife and son upped and left our lives in Toronto to try out a new adventure across the pond here in the UK. I took an extended leave from my television career of 9 years, we sold or stored all of our stuff, leased out our condo, and just left. Since the wheels touched down at Belfast International (where we lived for the first half of the year), I’ve been thinking about the reasons behind why we embarked on this journey in the first place. The answers differ daily depending upon my emotional state - from the exciting highs of cruising through some of the most beautiful landscape I’ve ever seen to the depressing lows once I realized we couldn’t get a good poutine anywhere.
It’s different when you come here for a vacation, obviously, as a week or two is just enough time to find all the little quirky things very appealing. Like the different words for things – they say ‘maths’ instead of math, the 5pm meal (what we call dinner in Canada) is called ‘tea’ here, the meal at noon (our lunch) is called ‘dinner’. The ‘toilet’ refers to the whole bathroom. ‘Biscuits’ are any type of cookie, and biscuits as we know them at home don’t exist. A picnic basket is called a ‘hamper’. ‘Pants’ mean underwear for some reason. There’s just so many of these, where it’s not just a different word, it’s a different usage of the same word. The thing about prolonged exposure to this environment is that there is a constant stream of these new word meanings that you keep on learning as time goes on. It hasn’t stopped yet and I’m not sure when and if it ever will. That’s the quirk about it all; it’s not like a new language, it’s basically people telling you that blue is really red or up is really down – and you’re just supposed to believe them.
Somewhat unsurprisingly though, the thing I miss the most is any sort of support system. Families, friends, colleagues - all gone. In spite of Skype and letters and email, I may as well be on Mars with the feeling of disconnect I have. From simple things like having someone available to watch Camden to being able to easily chat with someone I see pretty much every day, to spending time with friends at the cottage and thanksgiving with the family. It’s rough not being able to do these things. I’m sure in time, probably years from now, I can build a type of support system here, but I don’t think it will ever be the same. Homesickness has given way to the realization that we are alone here, and it’s the loneliness that is starting to get to me.
So will we stay? I can’t say yet - even though it’s been almost a year I still consider it early days. The people I’ve met here are very friendly, welcoming and open. The companies I’ve worked for and with and have been fantastic and I’ve been lucky to have worked on some big-name projects and with some exceptionally creative and talented individuals.
One thing I can say about this journey is that I do not regret embarking upon it; I complain about the UK’s quirks and whine about missing Canada, but I generally expected to feel that way coming into it. Taking a chance doing this was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t go back and make a different decision for any reason. It pains me that I hurt some people I love to take this chance, but in the end I know I would’ve always regretted it if I didn’t try. It was a question I asked my sister many years ago when she was considering moving to New York – I asked if she would regret not moving there if she didn’t, knowing what she may miss out on if she stayed in Toronto. She knew the answer – we both did.
It’s safe and easy to live your life according to external expectations, but it has the potential to leave you with regrets. These days I get to spend most of my time with my son and my wife, take long walks around a city looking at beautiful architecture, eat amazing food, play video games, write 2 different blogs, develop shows with creators and companies from around Europe and the UK, and edit wedding Marryoke videos. I didn’t even know what a Marryoke video was before coming here, they’re pretty fun to cut. Meanwhile, Amanda has also embarked on a new career and social path, getting out, meeting people, being a part of various organizations – I’m very proud of how she’s embraced the change in our lives. Camden is…well…running around bumping into things here just the same as he would back in Canada.
I wouldn’t say Year 1 of our journey has inspired some sort of big epiphany in me, but I do look at the value of relationships a lot differently. I realize now how important human connection is, how important my friends and family really are to me. I’m getting to a point where I could do my job anywhere on earth with a stable internet connection, and we’ll need to make a decision in the near future about where we finally want to plant some roots. What will that decision be? Currently, it’s a question I throw to the ether. I may not know what that choice is yet, only that it’ll be the one that makes us all truly happy.
Finally, and most importantly, I’d like to thank my sister Liz for a couple of things – one, for asking me to write this guest post on her fantastic blog - and two, for being a part of what inspired me to take this journey in the first place. Her courage to take a leap into the unknown played no small part in helping push me towards what has been one of the most adventurous, scary, amazing, memorable and important years of my life.
By Gary Heather
(Thank you so much for doing this, Gar! I love you way more than a sister should and I'm definitely going to ask you to guest post again.)
Celebrating 29
Tomorrow I turn 30.
I know, I know - how could this youthful, ageless beauty be turning a fully functioning adult age? Beats me, but it's happening. And I think I'm kind of pumped about it. Why, you ask? 'Cause these past 29 years have been some of the most fortunate ones that any human could have asked for. Really. And I want to list some of the greatest things that I've experienced thus far.
(If you judge me for making this list and/or being proud of it, then I think you might be missing my point here. In which case, skip the list altogether and proceed to the final two paragraphs.)
Highlights Of The Past 29 Years
- I was a co-lead in my fifth grade musical production of Newsies (or the more accurately titled "Extra! Extra! Read All About It!")
- I've learned to play the piano, alto saxophone and bass guitar.
- I've never smoked a cigarette.
- I'm bendy.
- In London, I ate the worst fish and chips known to man.
- In Portugal, I discovered Steak Diane in the Algarve and listened to Fado music in Lisbon.
- A stuffed poodle has slept atop my bed for over 25 years.
- In Spain, my mother and I were chased by gypsies. (Is that a racial slur? I Googled it and opinions are mixed. I don't mean to be derogatory.)
- In North Carolina, I saw a crab bite my dad and as a result - I stayed out of the ocean for the following 15 years.
- In New Brunswick, I saw the tides change.
- In California, I didn't trust how perfect it all seemed.
- In New Hampshire, I flew a glider plane as a teenager.
- I went to a performing arts high school for vocal music.
- I had the perfect childhood dog experience.
- In Grenada, I witnessed some baby turtles hatch in the sand in the early morning sun.
- In Belize, I innertubed through the jungle rivers.
- I've been to Disney Land and to Disney World. (World's better.)
- I've road-tripped to Detroit solely for a concert.
- I've waded in a hotel fountain in New Jersey.
- In The Cayman Islands, I went down into the sea in a submarine.
- In The Bahamas, I was eaten alive by bugs and first saw a pink sand beach.
- In Trinidad, I slept in my mom's childhood home.
- In Tobago, I understood why someone would want to come to Trinidad & Tobago.
- In Barbados, I watched my brother get married on a beach.
- I've hitchhiked in Lake George.
- One time I ate a mustard so spicy that my contact lens popped right out of my face and landed on the sidewalk.
- I interned with my favourite childhood band The Strokes.
- I've seen Bob Dylan in concert.
- I lost my virginity because of the outcome of a World Cup final soccer match.
- I've skydived.
- I've seen a baby's birth firsthand.
- I've undergone a successful cornea transplant surgery.
- I've learned never to take my brothers for granted.
- I met Mike Myers once and he was very nice.
- I met someone who lives in Ireland in a Foo Fighters chatroom about 15 years ago and we still mail letters to keep in touch.
- In Amsterdam, I fell hard for a Frenchman and followed him to Paris.
- In Paris, I celebrated New Year's, ate crepes outside the Eiffel Tower, learned cooking techniques from a master French chef, walked to the top of the Arc de Triomphe, sailed across the river Seine and kissed Oscar Wilde's grave.
- In Venice, I stole wine, rode in a gondola and had a brief (but memorable) Italian romance.
- Acquired the entire Perfect Strangers series as Russian bootleg DVDs.
- In New York City, I've had many midnight rooftop picnics on the Lower East Side, bench-side champagne dalliances in the rain under an umbrella in Central Park, met one of my best friends by picking her up at a bar, had a short play produced and performed in Hell's Kitchen, swam in freezing temperatures in a rooftop hotel pool, saw Woody Allen in his jazz band at The Carlyle, attended Derek Jeter's last Yankee home game and I've been inside the Statue of Liberty's crown.
- In Terrytown, I've had the most luxurious meal of my life at Blue Hill Stone Barns.
- In Cape Cod, I exclusively ate red meat for five straight days.
- In Chicago, I saw great art.
- In Miami, I ate the finest steak of my life at (the now closed) Emeril's.
- In St. Maarten, I went to a nude beach with my parents.
- In Niagara Falls, I stayed in a vice presidential suite and won a ton at the casino.
- In Las Vegas, I rode that roller coaster that Grissom loved.
- In Costa Rica, I went canyoneering, ziplined through the rainforest and saw some sloths.
- I've seen The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway over 10 times and will see it again.
- I have buried time capsules with loved ones.
- In Aruba, I experienced my first all-inclusive vacation and vowed to never go all-inclusive again.
- I have broken both of my feet on separate occasions.
- I've become proficient in pilates.
- In Atlantic City, I saw Lady Gaga perform and roamed the gorgeous boardwalk.
- In Montreal, I listened to more jazz than ever before.
- I have dined and dashed.
- I have never dyed my hair.
- In Ontario, I've made out with strangers on dance floors, had hundreds of sleepovers at my brother's apartment, ate an abnormal amount of poutine, blown bubbles off balconies, learned how to play poker and swam in an infinity pool overlooking the city.
- In Jamaica, I parasailed, helped Nathan learn how to swim and experienced the clearest sea water in the history of mankind.
- I've maintained a daily blog for two full years with some degree of success.
- I'm a (magazine) published writer.
- I became the type of person who enters a dog in a costume contest.
- I've found work as an editor, greeting card store cashier, HMV seasonal employee, video store clerk, management assistant, daycare worker and part time nanny.
- In Florida, I had numerous memorable family vacations.
- I became a godmother.
- For almost six years, I've been in love with a man who treats me so well and happens to be handsome as hell.
If this post seems boastful, I sincerely don't mean it to. I'm so proud of what's happened thus far - and don't think that I don't know for a goddam minute how lucky I am. Everything on this list was possible because of my family and friends. I know how fortunate I am. So what reason is there not to be excited about whatever happens after 30?
If you're to take anything away from this post, I hope that you start to compile your own list, at whatever age you currently are. The bullet points won't all come to you at once, but they'll trickle in over weeks and you'll slowly start to see how fortunate you are in your own life, if you don't already know. It's important to look back on these things and realize we're all immensely lucky in more ways than we realize, I think.
Siblings
NOTE: If you don't have any siblings, I recommend that you leave this post. It'll only make you feel worse about being an only child.
Now, the rest of you: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE A SIBLING?! I really hope you do. Here are mine.
I think I've been overly in love with my brothers for about... 14 years or so. It started when I was around 16 years old and they suddenly started treating me like a real person. I used to think of them as polar opposites for some reason (I think that idea was based on the kind of music they liked?) and that I was the link between them that would bring us all together. Kind of a self-centered thought, but it made sense to me at the time.
In any case, there were years when I was closer to one of them and then years when I was closer to the other. This went on for awhile until finally coming to the present day where I like to think we're all in a wicked place with one another. I don't know what kind of person I'd be without them and I'm not sure they even know how strongly I feel about us all.
Actually, I think they know. I'm pretty vocal about that kind of stuff.
What the hell is my point here? I guess it's that I hope you're close with your siblings. And if not close, then I think it's good to have some kind of communication with these people who share so much of your past. I pride myself on not judging people too swiftly, but if I ever come in contact with someone who tells me they have a bad relationship with one of their siblings? Yikes. I almost immediately write them off. Is that wrong? 'Cause I can't stop that feeling.
It's kind of a (previously unspoken, now public) dream of mine that one day when me and my brothers are all married and old and all of our wives and husbands have passed away, then me, Gary and Robbie can live in a house together again. If that can somehow happen, I'll lose my mind I'll be so happy.
Anyway, this was a lot of rambling. Can we just consider this post to be a PSA about maybe giving your brother or sister a call to see what's up?
“I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends.”