Fury of the Day – “Women Have Come A Long Way!”

by Liz Heather in

In the context of talking about how men and women are each treated in society, I heard someone say this the other day and I keep thinking about it. Every time I hear it said aloud, it stays with me for a few days. Mainly because after it’s said, everyone around that person usually agrees with the thought and then moves on.

Am I the only one who wants to scream "HOW?!" at these people? Is it just me who thinks this is an insane statement? There are hundreds of daily reminders that show me that women haven’t come very far at all and I feel like, if anything, we’re in a weirder place now. There are tons of specifics I could get into, but the main one on my mind right now is this illusion of equality that we all seem to think is in full effect (in the media, specifically). 

When I see a billboard of Nicki Minaj’s full ass hanging out next to a billboard of Kanye West in a buttoned up fucking TRENCHCOAT, am I supposed to think this is normal? We’re really working towards equality here? I’m not saying that it’s wrong of her to choose to present herself that way, I’m saying that it’s fucked up that I’m supposed to think it’s normal and not give it a second thought. The fact that he’s presented in a manner where he can be judged for his talent and she’s presented in a way for you to rank her fuckability – that’s fucking terrible to me. I’m not saying she’s awful, I’m saying this wild notion of “women coming so far” is complete fucking garbage to me when examples like this one completely surround our lives. Especially when we’re living in a time when we’re constantly being told that a woman’s worth depends almost completely on her exterior. Is that a dramatic statement to make? I really don’t think it is. If she had some pants on in that shot, would her album have still hit number one? I don’t fucking know, but it’s shitty that I have to wonder that.

Another thing I hate is that if you have an opinion on public figures who show a lot of skin, you get put into one of two categories.
1.    The prudes, who think showing any kind of skin is a sin. 
2.    The women who shout things like, “She looks fucking good! What’s the problem?”

I don’t want to be in either of those groups, I don’t belong in them! I love the way that I look and it doesn’t harm me that she’s showing anything off. I don’t care if she looks good or if she looks shitty, why do we have to be talking about how she looks at all? Shouldn’t we be more concerned about why objectifying yourself has become the new social norm? 

The fact that the majority of us have somehow been tricked into thinking that a woman in the public eye who shows off the majority of her body consistently is somehow “empowered” and “strong” blows my fucking mind. Yeah, of course, anybody can do whatever the fuck they want – but if that’s the logic here then where the hell are the strong, powerful men with their dicks hanging out? Why have I never seen Jay-Z’s chest?! Why aren’t those photos shoved down my throat? That’s not the culture, I get it. My point is that you can be strong and empowered and not photoshop a thigh gap onto your latest Instagram photo. You are not “helping women”. 

Another thing I hate? The argument of, “Sex sells.” Once I get going on these opinions and someone says that? Conversation over. And not because I want the conversation to be over, but because that’s the little “Well, whaddya gonna do about it?” answer that we’re all so comfortable with hearing. Yeah, it’s true. Yeah, this is the world we live in. I feel like there was a time when that statement made people more mad, but now? It’s so fucking commonplace there’s no emotional attachment to it anymore. As though we’ve somehow become beings who have fully accepted that women are only valuable based on how good they look and that’s just the way it is. 

Someone please tell me what justifies someone classifying women as having “come so far.” Is it because we’re allowed to vote now, is that when this argument started? ‘Cause that was almost a hundred fucking years ago and it wasn’t a “women’s issue” then, it was a human rights issue. People don’t approach black people and congratulate them on how far they’ve come because there’s an understanding that THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS. It’s an insanely condescending statement to make towards anyone and should infuriate everyone. 

We have not fucking come very far at all.

Birthday Deals!

by Liz Heather in ,

I don't know why more places don't upsell the fact that they's got BIRTHDAY DEALS. We all want those deals. Give us those deals, damnit.

I just found this list of places that offers you something on your big day, it's a mostly American list so let me post a more Canadian friendly one over here. 

Obviously, I'm not telling you to take advantage of ALL the things offered since we're all trying to live some kind of healthy life. I'm just letting you know that if you want free ice cream on your birthday, you're entitled to it.

Sidenote: Happy Birthday to my insanely great brother, Robbie. He's one of the best men in my life and I'm crazy lucky to know him. Really, my brothers are easily the best in the business. You should be jealous maybe. LOVE YOU.

Robbie!

Annoyance of the Day - Stop Signs on On-Ramps for Highways

by Liz Heather in

Dear The City of New York,

CC: All other (moronic) cities who allow such practices as this.

You are a fine-ass city. Let it be known that I truly and whole-heartedly know that you're a great city. One thing, though.

THIS (below).

WHY!?

Why the fucking fuck are you allowing stop signs to be placed at the END of on-ramps for your beautiful New York City highways? What purpose does this serve? Are you aware that in a gzillion other cities this isn't the norm? Did someone not inform you that there's a better solution? That solution being, ya know, NO stop signs at all? Even a goddam YIELD sign would be something that I could accept (albeit begrudgingly, but still). Why are you trying to fuck with the people who live here and, God, the poor tourists who visit and must be subjected to these signs of absurdity? Are you unaware that on-ramps were meant to be used as acceleration ramps so that hard working Americans could move freely and with the flow of traffic by the time they reach the end of these ramps? What sick game are you trying to play?

You're encouraging those angry New Yorker stereotypes! Is that what you want? Is that your real goal here? I must admit, that's a pretty clever way to achieve said goal. You're setting people up to fail with that stop sign. You want us to fail. You don't want us driving on your precious streets and highways, you're trying to weed us out. You're trying to make us so fed up that we leave. I see what you're doing. Oh, I'm onto you. 

Fix the fucking ramps.

Yours lovingly,

Liz

Gross Confession of the Day

by Liz Heather in

This is a new segment where I will divulge one of my gross personal habits. I’m pretty judgemental about the things I tell you to do and like, I realize - so to balance that out, I figured this would be a welcome addition and reminder of the fact that I’m just as gross as everyone else.

Confession #2:

I don’t wear deodorant. Nor have I ever. Why? Two reasons. (Well, it's really just the first reason mainly.)

  1. My mom never did - so she never taught me to, I guess.
  2. A homeless person on the subway once told me that using deodorant increases your chances to get breast cancer. Okay, okay, that might-be/IS completely unfounded. But a fourteen year old girl who hears that is definitely going to remember a statement like that, and it may or may not affect the rest of her life.

I told my boyfriend this no-wearing-deodorant fact finally at four years into our relationship and even then had to add the lie of, “Well, I’ll wear it if I’m working out or something…” which is definitely not true. But I had to add on some kind of lie since the initial confession was met with the most repulsed face I've ever seen him emote. I do keep travel-sized deodorants in my room, untouched, just incase someone sleeps over and is all, “Oh, I forgot mine. Can I use yours?” You have to have all your bases covered when you’re being especially gross, I've learned. I also use them in the summertime for other things, as you already know.

I like to think that I've trained my body to not smell all the time by not having the dependence on any deodorants. But maybe that's a crazy thought and you're sitting there being all, "Finally, I know why Liz stinks!" Anyway, we all have our things.

To read Confession #1, go on over here. And if you happen to have some gross confessions of your own, I happen to love reading them so please email me.