Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Song That Won't Quit
It won't, I'm telling you. IT WON'T QUIT. Love it so much.
“Having only one pancake is like listening to Gladys O’Hare sing only one pip.”
Making Friends As An Adult
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
If you clicked on this because you were expecting me to give you some answers on how it's done... well, baby - I have no idea. I really never thought it would be this difficult! And I'm not talking about childhood friends. Or work friends. Or college friends. Or your boyfriend/girlfriend's friends. I'm talking about being a grown person and wanting friends who share tons of similar interests and live within a decent radius of your home. THOSE! I WANT SOME OF THOSE!
I realized today that the last time I made a friend like that was almost EIGHT YEARS AGO. And even that took a few weeks of getting her to call me back for the first time. Thankfully I was consistent ('cause I knew she was a good one) and we've had a long and fruitful friendship (I love you, Jenn) since that time.
I'm not saying I'm not thankful for the friends I currently have and love, but is it not human to want more? Also, a lot of my current friends live in a different country from me, so could that be a major factor here? Is it harder to meet people as an adult when you move countries? My mom moved from Trinidad as an adult and she didn't really meet a ton of new people after she moved, so maybe that's a huge factor that I've been ignoring. But even so, should it be this hard?
Where am I supposed to meet people? At parks? Walking my dog? Taking out the trash? I visit a park maybe once a year. My dog is terrified of any human being approaching us in the street. And I don't take out the trash.
I don't want to meet a possible new friend at a bar since bars seem exclusive for romantic meetings. If I had more hobbies, would it be easier then? Who the hell has hobbies? What if I don't want a friend who has hobbies? DO YOU SEE HOW HARD THIS IS? Don't even get me started on trying to make a friend of the opposite sex as an adult - IT AIN'T HAPPENING. Way too many complications and misinterpretations.
You know what I would love? A great neighbour. But even if I had one, how would I even know it? Neighbours don't have lengthy conversations anymore. Did they ever? I think they did. They did in my hometown when I was a kid. That was the prime time for making adult friends, I guess. The suburban nineties: friendships galore.
Do I have a point? I guess I don't. Or no wait, I do! Take care of the friends you have. Y'ain't getting any more.
It'd be funny if I'm the only one with this problem and you're reading this going, "Wow, this is embarrassing for her. I have no idea what she's talking about." If that is the case, you're not the type of friend I'm looking for anyway.
Citi Field vs. Yankee Stadium
I am not a Yankee fan. Why not? I don't know, I'm a good person?
There's no contest when it comes to the two teams or the two stadiums. Citi Field is just a fun time 'cause Mets fans are ridiculously more likable and human than Yankee fans. It's hard for me to generalize like this, but I've never met a Yankee fan that I didn't find obnoxious in some small way. I don't know what causes this anomaly. A guy asked me out once and I saw that he had a Yankee tattoo and that (among other reasons) was the clincher in turning him down. Is that modern prejudice? Or good sense? I don't know.
I've seen (not once, but twice) a Yankee fan SPIT on a player! (This is also the same reason I hate the Tampa Bay Devil Ray fans as well, those mutants spat on their own players! And yes, I know they're the Tampa Bay Rays now, but they'll always be the Devil Rays to me. Smug pricks.)
And the stadiums themselves? There are areas in Yankee stadium where you can't see the whole field! What the hell?! How is that a thing? Even the Yankee organization doesn't care about you! Nope, you can go right to hell. And in comparison, look how insanely pretty that view is from the cheap seats at Citi Field (above photo)!
If you're in town and you're deciding between the two stadiums, I hope you make the right choice. If you're sitting up high like I was above, there are a few wind tunnels that'll knock you on your ass, so be forewarned and maybe bring a coat. Will that kill you to bring a coat? Get over yourself.
Another Pinterest Pin That Blows
Have you seen the one for an at-home lip scrub/exfoliator? There are a lot of different ones, but I tried the honey and sugar one. Verdict? Absolute trash. I can understand how in theory these might go together to work towards a softer lip, but not so. Once you wash it all off, you're left with really tight feeling lips, I had to put some Soft Lips on immediately.
And when there are actual good and inexpensive lip exfoliators available, there's no need for this homemade recipe at all.
BONUS TIP: Sometimes I'll try out a pin on Pinterest, hate it and then forget I tried it already and try it again in a few months (I'm not the smartest...?). One way to curb this habit is to keep a Pinterest board solely for things you've tried and hated (and if you think that's too mean, then keep it as one of your private boards so only you can see it).
You can find more pins that you should stay away from over here and here.
The Best of YouTube
Or rather, the most popular on YouTube? Yeah, that fits better. Anyway, if you're interested in wasting a few hours away, you should go on over here to Greg Rutter's Definitive List of the 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced on the Internet. There's a sequel to that site now, too.
This will forever stand as one of my favourites:
“Chipped nail and no nail file? Band-Aid, baby.”
The Burger's Priest In Mississauga & Guelph
This is newsworthy because the suburbs of Toronto usually get jack SHIT when it comes to good, somewhat-independently run restaurants that have already been established downtown.
But also, have you had this burger? F-ing have it. Reminds me of a poor man's Shake Shack burger, which is a huge compliment.
That burger above is just one of the burgers on the menu. Obviously there are others that look a little more reasonable, but I took a bite of this one once and it melted my face a bit. Really good burgers. To see more options, go on over here.
New Locations:
1599 Queensway
Etobicoke, Ontario
129 Lakeshore Road East
Mississauga, Ontario
Guelph (opening soon)
435 Stone Road,
Guelph, Ontario
All are closed on Sundays.