There is so much to look forward to right now. The songbirds are back, the snow has melted, I have a second dose vaccination date approaching and I swear I saw a bud on a tree the other day, which means that spring has sprung. I intend on really turning my life around this spring, so get the hell ready. Here are some small, fun things that I’d also like to do.
Go to Coney Island before the crowds of summer arrive.
Completely organize the closets in my house.
Visit Central Park at least three times.
Feed ducks at a pond.
Get fully vaccinated.
I always encourage you to make your own seasonal lists of fun little things that you’d like to do, and I’ll continue to encourage it. This has been such an awful, lonely, tiring year that these lists really tend to give my off-time some slight direction. So again I urge you, give it a try.
I almost can’t believe that winter is over, it’s usually so slow and long but since all of 2020 felt that way, maybe this makes sense. In retrospect it’s very cute that I even made a winter list of things to do when everything was in lockdown where I was. Here’s how that went.
Build at least one snowman or snow-woman.
This one I should’ve been able to do, no problem. But the kids weren’t allowed to come over and I only managed to get my mom to go outside with me once during the endless stream of snowstorms. Have you ever built a snowman alone? I didn’t think so. I’ve not hit that level of depression yet, so let’s just say that this one couldn’t happen.
Arrange a decadent charcuterie board on New Year’s Eve.
I did and it was beautiful. Cranberry goat cheese is one thing I have to make sure to always get over the holidays now, I’m always looking for more cranberry incorporated things. Such an underused berry.
If the city permits it, go ice skating.
The city did not permit it, so I did not.
Find a hill & sled down that hill.
Again, sledding alone with oneself is a bridge that I cannot yet cross.
Use up all of my winter stationary by sending out as much mail as my pen will allow me.
To the best of my ability, this was completed! Writing will always save me.
I am completely mesmerized by Alvin Zhou’s food channel. Even if you have zero interest in making lasagna, you should watch this just to feel completely at ease. Love it all so much, so much care seems to go into every detail.
The best month has arrived! I know this has been a full year of complete trash, but spring is coming and it’s always the most hope-filled season, in my eyes. So even if I’m living in a dream world, let’s pretend that things might get better.
First things first, I tested positive for COVID earlier this month, but I’ve recovered completely and I know that I’m crazy lucky to have had it so mildly. I lost my sense of taste and smell for only a few weeks and it’s almost 100% back now, which is amazing. Somehow, magically, I didn’t infect my parents and they both tested negative (I was staying with them since autumn of last year), so that was also another little miracle.
Some movies I rewatched in my isolation: Groundhog Day (it’s the perfect movie to watch in a pandemic), Titanic (I think I rewatch this maybe two or three times a year, it never stops being great), and Stepmom (haven’t seen this in years and though I don’t love the movie, the part when the little boy says to his mother, “No one will ever love you like I love you” is weep-worthy).
Some new things I watched:
I finished the first five seasons of Superstore and it’s just a great show, with such good characters, fully recommend. The only part I hated was Sandra giving away Jerry to Carol, I just seethed at that joke for some reason.
The new To All The Boys I’ve Loved movie that came out. Yes, it’s super corny at times but it’s also very cute.
Emily in Paris, I don’t know why, it was a weird month. My two takeaways? The woman looks 12 years old, so I don’t know… the whole premise feels weird when you think you’re watching a child. And Darren Star must really find it truly hilarious when American women step in shit in France. His favourite joke on this planet, apparently.
The new Britney Spears documentary. Love her, loved it, hope things turn out all right for her.
Promising Young Woman, I loved it. Such an original, well done movie. Certain parts are slightly triggering if you’ve ever dealt with similar abuse situations, but overall it’s really, really good. (The soundtrack is great, too.)
Stanley Tucci’s CNN show Searching For Italy. Amazing! Love this man! I’ve had this dream trip around Italy planned for years that I intend to take one day and this show allows me to bask in that dream even harder. I should do a post about the specifics of this trip (I have it all organized within a Word document and map outlines), that way I can get people to contribute any must-do things that I should add. Okay, yes, I’ll post that later this month.
The Cecil Hotel series. Okay, look, the lam-Elisa tuberculosis part is intriguing as hell, but everything else? This could easily have been an hour long special. Also, fuck you Netflix for glazing over mental health issues, and giving such a strong voice to YOUTUBERS who know nothing and spout hurtful conspiracies. The whole series is so manipulatively done, absolutely do not recommend.
Have you ever been in a Food Basics? Because christ. It’s the most depressing grocery store chain I’ve ever had the misfortune of entering. Just a shocking vibe. Never again.
I’ll never understand why mixed bouquets exist when beautiful arrangements like this are an option. They’re always breathtaking.
I tried a sample of a coffee body scrub from Mine Tan and I want to buy a full sized version immediately. It makes you so insanely soft that it’s completely worth the mess that it makes after using it in the shower.
I made hummingbird cake for the first time and it was incredible, everyone should make this cake. The photo isn’t good, but the cake absolutely was. Will totally make again. You can’t really even taste any of the pineapple, but it makes it so moist and enjoyable for days after you’ve made it.
Hummingbird cake
I tried the TikTok leggings and they suhuuuuuuck. Don’t buy them. Shady material. Does nothing for any ass. In order for these to look like they do in the photo, you must have previously bought the ass that goes along with it.
I made queso that was TERRIBLE. Must remember to always use a recipe that uses Velveeta, anything else will result in a terrible queso.
Tried the carrot cake Oreos and of course they’re good. Oreo has been flawless these past few years at constantly reinventing themselves and succeeding. Love to see that in a cookie.
I tried to get into this Mark Twain biography and it was just too dense. I lasted a few pages before slowly shutting it and placing it far away from me. I know so little about the man (hence the reason I wanted to read his book) but you couldn’t pay me to finish that thing. He remains a mystery to me and I’ve come to terms with that.
I also tried to read Lindy West’s latest book Shit, Actually and… I hated it. Well, what I read I hated. I really didn’t find any of it funny, which is weird because I love her. The only good chapter that I read was the one about The Fugitive. Loved this part: “I was going to say that they don’t make movies like this anymore, where the last thirty minutes is just one continuous incredible chase, except they do, all the time, but they make it all CGI so it’s impossible to care about. Who cares about a drawing of a very fast exploding truck that a computer made? Not me!“
I finally watched the VHS from my fifth grade play Newsies and it did not disappoint. I was magical.
My dad and I have been sending our stamps to Oxfam for awhile now, you should send them any of your used stamps, too! It’s such a good organization. We save up all our stamps that come in and then send them a package a few times a year.
Speaking of stamps, did you know that you can suggest a Canadian stamp theme? I do this every so often, one day I swear one of my ideas will make the cut. This is such a great idea for kids, too.
I made Yorkshire pudding for the first time and it turned out well! I’m not a huge fan of the dull flavours, but I think if I used actual beef fat instead of shortening, then it would’ve tasted a bit stronger. Next time, for sure.
Yorkshire pudding
I bought this cake stand and dome from IKEA for my parent’s house and good god, what’s not perfect about a cake dome. What cake doesn’t benefit from its own little palace?
Best tweets of the month ahead.
Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.
for some awful reason my boyfriend and i keep accidentally wearing similar outfits but he's a foot taller than me so i look like a furious little doll of him
My toddler daughter spent 30 min telling me she don’t like crab legs and then sat in my damn lap and had me feeding her crab legs and gone tell me “dip it in butter good”
— Hueless P. Newton aka Shaun Scheme (@NotSoNewlywedPC) January 29, 2021
Netflix documentaries are always like, here is the story of a teen murdered on a boat but before we get to that let’s do 3 episodes on the history of water.
the cOST???? of LIVING??????? has anybody even said that out loud lol
— nat “cops break laws to terrorize/intimidate” puff (@LeftAtLondon) February 13, 2021
7th grade Spanish teacher taught us that patatas bravas were called that because the potatoes were brave for going into the spicy sauce and I will cherish that thought for the rest of my life. Honor them. Honor their sacrifice
In Mexico (probably other places too), Valentine’s Day is “the day of love and friendship.” But Americans only seem interested in the romantic connections, as if platonic relationships aren’t just or even more foundational to a person’s life. Friendship doesn’t get enough credit.
Like 3 weeks ago Gen z discovered wearing baggy pants and started standing pigeon toed in fit pics now suddenly my skinny jeans are cringe? Suck yaself
'Why fit in when you were born to stand out?' says yet another bio from a mother of three who's engagement photos of her and her bearded plaid shirt wearing partner were taken in a pumpkin patch
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: can’t wait to make this kale caesar with breadcrumbs, there are surprisingly good Sephora rewards available right now (I just got the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Serum Crystal Elixir reward that I can’t wait to try even though I have zero idea what it does), I’m going to do some research into all of these books and try to find the best ones at the library, I’m so excited that Shrill has a release date (May 7th), I’d love to get a haircut, and I can’t wait to get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. Oh, and I plan on eating the hell out of this leek focaccia at Lilia.
Wonderful, a new month! Even I’m not sure when I’m being sarcastic anymore. You know what I realized this month? This is technically year three of Covid-19 since it started in late 2019. Should I have kept that information to myself? Probably. I’m sorry. In any case, time moves on and we’re in a new month, so here’s what went down last month.
Before I begin, every January I make sure to:
Mark down all important holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (also Daylight Saving Times, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving) on my calendar
Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance/vet vaccinations and write down any important renewal dates
I recapped how my 2020 resolutions turned out. Spoiler alert: it’s not impressive.
I made my 2021 resolutions because I’m determined to live optimistically.
I made this carbonara from Bon Appetite and it BLEW! It was the first recipe that I made this year so I. was. PISSED.
I couldn’t find a Detroit style pizza place near my parent’s house (grow up, Mississauga) so I had no other choice but to get takeout from Descendant in Toronto and it was incredible.
The 8 x 10 “no name” from Descendant Pizza, Toronto
I’ve been using my parent’s air fryer and, surprise surprise, it’s amazing. Obviously it makes everything taste great, but the best part is that it’s so much faster than a regular oven. The best thing I’ve made so far was definitely these pickles.
I’d never even heard of The Devil’s Own which seems insane because two of the hottest nineties men are in it. Good movie? Not so much. I’d watch it again on mute though maybe.
Speaking of the past, do you remember Heritage Minutes in Canada? God, some of them were really, really good. My favourite ones were the Laura Secord one, the Superman one, the Winnie one, and definitely the Marconi one.
Still in love with the Dennis Gross peels, I just wish they weren’t so unreasonably priced.
I made this BA pasta with mushrooms and it was waaay too salty, what the hell is going on with me fucking up recipes these days?!
I tried this frozen vegan pizza and it was actually not terrible! Like, not as terrible tasting as regular frozen pizza.
Remember Grand & Toy (it was near Walter’s Music in Square One in the 90s)? I have to make a mental note to start using them instead of Staples. I loved that store for school supplies when I was a kid. Gotta support.
I’ve been watching the new Jeopardy! episodes with Ken Jennings and the first one was terrible in my opinion mainly because it just felt so wrong, but as I’ve kept watching I think it’s becoming less weird. I am excited to see the other guest hosts just to see how different they’ll each be.
I tried this drugstore John Frieda sea spray and it was complete crap. I may have overused it, but that’s really not my fault. Why in the hell don’t hair product labels tell you how many pumps you should use?! I swear to god, if only I were running things…
I made popovers for the first time and they were surprisingly easy! I might never buy a dinner roll ever again.
Popovers
I love the softness of these Indigo pajamas so much that I bought them twice (in both red & blue).
I heard the old Frank Sinatra song That’s Life on the radio the other day and got so teary, maybe ‘cause I haven’t heard it in years? Maybe ‘cause it’s just a perfect song? Am I slowly just losing it? While it was playing, I just kept saying to myself “That IS life!” Yeah, might have lost it.
I watched the newest season of Big Mouth and loved it. The anxiety mosquito might be the best new character introduced in the middle of a series OF ALL TIME. Such a great show.
I started watching Superstore (mostly in the background) and it’s pretty good! I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I definitely get the appeal.
My friend Dusty got his film Violation into Sundance and it’s wild that I know such immensely talented people. So, so proud of him.
I made blintzes with a Grand Marnier mascarpone (the blintz recipe is, of course, from Chef John and the mascarpone recipe is from one of Stanley Tucci’s cookbooks). It was delicious. It seems so intimidating to make crepes, but it was actually so easy and fun. Plus it looks like it’d be such a complicated thing to make, but I’d say it’s even easier than baking cookies.
Blintz with Grand Marnier mascarpone & wild blueberries in a cranberry coulis
I tried to read Ijeoma Oluo’s newest book Mediocre and I just couldn’t get into it. Even I was surprised because I love her work, so maybe I’ll give this one another try at a later date.
I had a real craving for a good bagel and since I’m not near Brooklyn Bagel in Astoria at the moment, I looked up the best place in this area for a bagel and went to the Old Bagel House on Lakeshore. And look, I respect what they’re doing, but they don’t hold a candle to New York bagels. Hard pass.
I’ve been using this tea tree night lotion from The Body Shop for years now, it really calms down your face before bed. Their entire tea tree collection is hard to beat.
I recently started eating frozen Canadian wild blueberries and they taste soblueberry. It’s madness. They’re so tiny and full of flavour, I couldn’t believe it. I’m so used to the blandness of blueberries from literally everywhere else. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE!
In 34 years on this planet I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries
Paul Rudd is a glimmering example of an 8 who became a 10 by having a good personality. That’s right folks, you can go up by +2 just by being wonderful
"Reduce Stress" isn't an acceptable treatment suggestion for any ailment unless the doctor telling you to do it is offering to cover your expenses while you rest.
Almost a year later and I still think it’s absurd that we’re all expected to carry on like everything isn’t bizarre. No change in work schedules, hours or anything. We’re really the “this is fine” meme come to life.
— Creole Lady Grey Poupon (@theelectwoman08) January 4, 2021
wanna open a bar called “plot twist” where upon entering the establishment you suddenly learn that you are that evenings bartender
i used to think that commissioning a hologram of your wife's dead father who you never met and having him call you a genius from beyond the grave was proof of a perfect marriage but i guess i'll have to rethink https://t.co/UyOoVfIGMa
2021: are the armed insurrectionists storming the Capitol aware that there is a plague ravaging the land
— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) January 7, 2021
this is my favorite photo of the year. John Trumbull’s Surrender of General Burgoyne sitting right there and he grabs a PODIUM?! FUND ARTS EDUCATION NOW! 🤡 pic.twitter.com/nfT37LZoM1
What’s always appalled me about this country is how we have so much more empathy for powerful people who commit crimes out of greed than for poor people who commit crimes out of desperation.
Once my husband was reading a Halloween book to our 4 y/o niece & she pointed to a vague monster in the background of an illustration. “Who IS that?” she asked. “I don’t know,” he answered. Then like an exhausted magazine editor in chief, she sighed “It’s probably a ghoul.”
I'd like to teach y'all a Southern phrase that will help you get off a phone/Zoom/Facetime call or you don't want to be on anymore but don't have an excuse to leave. Let me introduce you to the power of "Well, let me let you go"
ONLY person going through border from Canada to US. Customs agent looked at me the way a server does when you walk into their restaurant that’s about to close
bunch of high schoolers just walked past my car in the Taco Bell drive thru I was playing coldplay loud as hell. one of em made eye contact wit me, said something to his friends and they all laughed. this is the worst day of my life
today’s young vegetarians will never know the adrenaline rush of ordering a veggie burger in 2006 with not the faintest idea of what you were about to receive
The notes app is a uniquely melancholy place where banal tasks like "buy paper towels" live next to incoherent, sad aspirations like "become more like safdie brothers" (??)
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
I once asked friends on Facebook for the craziest LA advice their parents had given & 1 said their mom told her to wear a fake ponytail when jogging so if someone grabbed it to try to rape her it would pull out like a lizard's tail and boy do women have a lot more to worry about.
For everyone who is like, “A SATC reboot without Samantha? She’s the sex!” Sure. But she’s been the best friend anyone could ask for since Day One. When I think Samantha - I think this moment sums up her entire existence. That wink!! pic.twitter.com/QrsjnZMFLi
I’ve watched Jeopardy off and on for years with my dad, so it was inevitable that I’d read this one and I’m so glad I did. Alex Trebek had always seemed like such a private person, so it’s kind of incredible that he decided to write this in his last year. Favourite parts ahead.
“Another explanation for the show’s popularity is that Americans are so very competitive. It’s almost primal. That competition exists within families too. Brothers and sisters. Children and parents. And grandparents - we have material that probably only grandparents, people of that generation, may know the correct response to. The information is a little arcane, a little out of the mainstream for the kids. And vice versa. There’s information regarding pop culture that the parents and grandparents don’t know. So there’s something for everybody. And for one or two moments - these opportunities to shine exist on our program. That makes you feel good about yourself and inspires a little bit of awe in the other members of the family who maybe never looked at you as being particularly sharp. “Grandpa’s old and he’s crotchety, but damn he knows a lot about geography!””
“Interestingly, the longer I live with the cancer, the more my definition of toughness has changed. I used to think not crying meant you were tough. Now I think crying means you’re tough. It means you’re strong enough to be honest and vulnerable. It means you’re not pretending. And not pretending, being willing to let your guard down and show people how you truly feel and admit that you’re a wuss, is one of the toughest things a person can do.”
“I don’t like to use the terms battling or fighting when talking about cancer. It suggests that there are only two outcomes: “winning” and “losing.” If you don’t get well, then you are a “loser.” If you have decided to stop treatment, you have “given up.” That’s nonsense. I understand why we as human beings choose to see cancer in these terms. It’s easier to comprehend and less scary if we see the experience as a boxing match and the disease as an opponent who might be subdued by sheer force of will and determination. However, cancer doesn’t get demoralized. It doesn’t require a pep talk from its trainer between rounds. It is a fight, that’s true. There are days when I feel like Mike Tyson just dropped to the canvas by a Buster Douglas uppercut. But it is by no means a fair fight. Not even close. It is simple biology. You get treatment and you get better. Or you don’t. And neither outcome is an indication of your strength as a person. Yet I believe in the will to live. I believe in the power of positivity. I believe in optimism. I believe in hope.”
“Am I a believer? Well, I believe we are all part of the Great Soul - what some call God. We are God, and God is us. We are one with our maker. How do I know this? It’s not that I know it. It’s that I feel it. The same way that when I go to Africa I feel that is where I came from. The same way I feel that Jean is my soul mate. I feel it in my gut.”
It’s very hard for me to experience a great moment and not want to memorize every second of it so that I don’t forget it, I’ve always been that way. So I made a silent resolution to myself last year that I’d try my best to document the year as best as I could and then make a video of it all. Of course the year I decide to do this, the world shuts down. But I kept up with it anyway and I’m glad that I did. It’s nice to have a virtual photo album of a year that will never be forgotten.
As part of my new year’s resolutions this year, I want to make everything on this list throughout 2021. I’ve never made any of them before (mostly because they either seemed intimidating or time consuming), but I’ve always wanted to. I’ll document all of the progress on an Instagram highlight over here, incase you want to see how it goes. Also, I won’t go in alphabetical order since some things are better made when it’s seasonally appropriate.
Is it foolish to make resolutions this year? Should I be ridiculed for hoping for a different year than the last one? Does it make any sense to expect good things? I have no idea. All I have in life is my unwavering optimism. So here we go, baby.
Read at least one book per season.
If that seems low, please consider the fact that I love setting low expectations and then basking in delight when I go above & beyond them.
Juice at least five times a month.
Look, I know I sound like a 2014 documentary, but I still love juicing. It feels like I’m doing something right.
Take Baby Dog on an adventure at least twice a season.
Adventures may include another trip to Canada and/or anywhere we can take her in a car.
Get Nathan to take more photos of me.
This one I really have to enforce. I love having my photo taken and I demand to be adored. The man needs to step up his game. And I’m talking GOOD photos, none of that bad-angle shit.
Try at least one new restaurant each month.
So this will have to be delivery for awhile, but that’s still okay. I love trying new places and if I can get it safely, I’m in.
Submit pieces to publications at least five times each month.
This is the most important thing on here for me this year. I have so many writing goals that are always pushed to the side for jobs that can actually make me decent money, but this is the time to focus on what I really want.
Save $50 every Monday to use for travel spending money.
I must. We all have trips we’re looking forward to (even if they’re fantasies right now) so I want to be ready for when the time comes.
Buy nothing from Amazon or Wal-Mart, or at least limit it to once per month.
These scumbag companies make too much money. It’s enough already. One thing I’ve started to do: if I see something on Amazon that I want to buy, I’ll find the seller of that item through a Google search and then reach out to them to see if they’d ship it straight to me. Half of the time, they’ll give you a shipping discount if you buy from them directly. Just a tip. Baldy doesn’t need anymore of my money.
Cook A-Z new things.
I’ve chosen 24 foods/recipes (lettered A-Z) that I’ve never made before and I’m going to make them throughout the year. So that’s about two new recipes per month, which seems attainable. WE SHALL SEE. (You can see the list over here.)
Stop being so afraid.
I’d love for this to be my mantra for this year. There are so many things that I don’t even attempt because of the fear that comes alongside it and I’ve had enough.
Even if you think resolutions are foolish, I beg you to at least come up with a few, even if they’re general as hell. It’s so nice to have some kind of an internal guide map to lead your year.
Wishing you all the best this year, thank you for being here!
