just putting it out into the universe that I am free this weekend, and the next weekend, and so on, to be slapped by any of these actors

[#SquidGame #GongYoo #JungHoyeon #WiHaJoon] pic.twitter.com/nuY4EEPFSj
— Isha Bassi (@Isha_Bassi) September 30, 2021

#COVIDVaccine Dose #1 and Dose #2 pic.twitter.com/ltup8B8EMM
— Dr. Vero Pimentel MD, MS (@DrVeroPimentel) October 31, 2021

Being middle-aged pic.twitter.com/kadS5AQbYA
— Elizabeth Picciuto (@epicciuto) October 31, 2021

The Joshua Jackson and Jodie Turner Smith J Crew holiday campaign is actually the only thing that matters to me right now please don’t speak to me unless it is in reference to these photos thanks in advance pic.twitter.com/QZUFGALWMR
— Leah says WEAR A MASK (@byleahjohnson) November 2, 2021

Really pushing the limits of the English language with this headline lol pic.twitter.com/z0Zvc1SWoM
— Radio Free Amanda 余美娜 (@catcontentonly) November 3, 2021

husband reveal after 55 years of marriage and it’s to promote her own merch…. queen behavior https://t.co/iplHZtN8jy
— jodie (@jodieegrace) November 3, 2021

When my friends are trying to teach me the rules of a card game and I physically cannot listen. pic.twitter.com/ir53r3bSIr
— Diego Lopez (@thisdiegolopez) November 3, 2021

Me when my friends can't drive & be breaking to hard 😭 pic.twitter.com/EFUuAGZ5fv
— ᴊʟʏɴɴ 🦂 (@SourrPatchy) November 4, 2021

When your parents are coming round to visit. pic.twitter.com/XQm80qwrHA
— Paul Bronks (@slender_sherbet) November 6, 2021

remember when robert pattinson scared off his own stalker just by being himself pic.twitter.com/Qu2FqjO57h
— Sarah McGonagall (@gothspiderbitch) November 7, 2021

There is a heaven….right here, right now, on earth. Ari is just one if my 3 perfect grandchildren. I really don’t believe Jeff or Elon or Warren are any richer than me. pic.twitter.com/COETqoTuio
— Ed Begley, Jr. (@edbegleyjr) November 7, 2021

When the lineup is watching the host do 5 in between each act. pic.twitter.com/vaYqfu5eUD
— Chris Post (@thatchrispost) November 7, 2021

pic.twitter.com/Mzb8LdLVRc
— WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme) November 7, 2021

If the sun is gonna go down at 4:50 pm, it better look this good. Wow. pic.twitter.com/WangiIuJG7
— Lauren Peikoff (@laurenpeikoff) November 7, 2021

😂😂🙈🤦‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/kkiVlj0Mhz
— FunnymanPage (@FunnymanPage) November 8, 2021

this letter to the new yorker made me teary?????? pic.twitter.com/PP6Emi4gX7
— rachel syme (@rachsyme) November 9, 2021

Terrifying New Therapist Asks Why You Chose That Chair https://t.co/LNuRJqcsYe pic.twitter.com/o9YlNHMCJo
— The Onion (@TheOnion) November 10, 2021

pic.twitter.com/INe00Bi6gO
— Asher Perlman (@asherperlman) November 10, 2021

my mom: “what are you gonna do when i die”

me: can you scoot over pic.twitter.com/VG244WNQg3
— 🍂 (@fairluvd) November 12, 2021

Limo Departing Climate Summit Runs Over Earth’s Last Leatherback Sea Turtle https://t.co/IUt5R0eFjx pic.twitter.com/YoEItSER1V
— The Onion (@TheOnion) November 12, 2021

pic.twitter.com/NcPFCA0ooM
— art has a twt account (@arttstreams) November 12, 2021

You can find the best tweets of October over here.