mfs in high school was sneakin into different lunch periods like it was the club
— Brian 𖤐 (@briantheruller) March 1, 2022

For years I’ve been saying “Daddy would you like some sausage?” from Freddie Got Fingered almost any time my wife mentioned sausage, and she’d just roll with it, until recently when she asked “Is that from something?”

She thought I was just saying that, for no reason. For years.
— mike benner (@benner) March 2, 2022

Just told him about climate change pic.twitter.com/pkC9W82d4C
— john-john (@bennnnst) March 2, 2022

You ever had so much to do, you just sat and did nothing? pic.twitter.com/F9zlgYhwp1
— Ijeoma Kola, PhD (@IjeomaKola) March 3, 2022

I love making men giggle. Yeah you like my joke bbygirl?
— vic (@cactusbabygurl) March 3, 2022

Me showing up 5 mins late to a meeting I scheduled https://t.co/M38T1izdqh
— Riley Winn (@allRidoisWinn) March 4, 2022

this dude from Love Is Blind looks like he’s constantly having visions like in That’s So Raven pic.twitter.com/Xl7X8to0E8
— MattWillPost (@MattPostSaysHi) March 4, 2022

Our new mayor https://t.co/9iq73ppBnG pic.twitter.com/qmtsgmewFR
— sam greisman (@SAMGREIS) March 4, 2022

Feels extremely silly explaining to my 4 year old that, yes, there’s a Batman movie out but “sorry, it’s for grown ups”
— SB (@thesecondsingle) March 5, 2022

Couple Who Met During Pandemic Tenderly Remove Each Other’s Mask Straps For First Time https://t.co/7VgPtwEhuk pic.twitter.com/vhZkQb431d
— The Onion (@TheOnion) March 6, 2022

thinking about her fr today pic.twitter.com/stOmZd5yCg
— yosnier (@Yosnier_) March 7, 2022

#InternationalWomensDay pic.twitter.com/18ZRbtguj5
— Mad Men Quotes (@MadMenQts) March 9, 2022

I’m extremely jealous of the power of a big tittied woman
— Casey James Salengo (@caseyJsalengo) March 9, 2022

“hum us a tune you’re the keyboard guy”🎵 https://t.co/CUEJooh3bh
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) March 10, 2022

An engineer's design of intersections that require no traffic lights.pic.twitter.com/L0BM2Z9ikt
— Figen (@TheFigen) March 11, 2022

sum lady in walmart jus told her son “PUT THAT SHIT BACK” so loud i almost put my shit back
— T 🎯 (@CodeineFridge) March 13, 2022

I cannot believe none of you told me there was a Chihuahua doing Swan Lake at Crufts. #Crufts pic.twitter.com/w7ZZGPOqYH
— Ariadne 🦋 (@Ariadne_Reviews) March 13, 2022

You can find the best tweets of February over here.