Wonderful, a new month! Even I’m not sure when I’m being sarcastic anymore. You know what I realized this month? This is technically year three of Covid-19 since it started in late 2019. Should I have kept that information to myself? Probably. I’m sorry. In any case, time moves on and we’re in a new month, so here’s what went down last month.
Before I begin, every January I make sure to:
Mark down all important holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (also Daylight Saving Times, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving) on my calendar
Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance/vet vaccinations and write down any important renewal dates
I recapped how my 2020 resolutions turned out. Spoiler alert: it’s not impressive.
I made my 2021 resolutions because I’m determined to live optimistically.
I made this carbonara from Bon Appetite and it BLEW! It was the first recipe that I made this year so I. was. PISSED.
I couldn’t find a Detroit style pizza place near my parent’s house (grow up, Mississauga) so I had no other choice but to get takeout from Descendant in Toronto and it was incredible.
The 8 x 10 “no name” from Descendant Pizza, Toronto
I’ve been using my parent’s air fryer and, surprise surprise, it’s amazing. Obviously it makes everything taste great, but the best part is that it’s so much faster than a regular oven. The best thing I’ve made so far was definitely these pickles.
I’d never even heard of The Devil’s Own which seems insane because two of the hottest nineties men are in it. Good movie? Not so much. I’d watch it again on mute though maybe.
Speaking of the past, do you remember Heritage Minutes in Canada? God, some of them were really, really good. My favourite ones were the Laura Secord one, the Superman one, the Winnie one, and definitely the Marconi one.
Still in love with the Dennis Gross peels, I just wish they weren’t so unreasonably priced.
I made this BA pasta with mushrooms and it was waaay too salty, what the hell is going on with me fucking up recipes these days?!
I tried this frozen vegan pizza and it was actually not terrible! Like, not as terrible tasting as regular frozen pizza.
Remember Grand & Toy (it was near Walter’s Music in Square One in the 90s)? I have to make a mental note to start using them instead of Staples. I loved that store for school supplies when I was a kid. Gotta support.
I’ve been watching the new Jeopardy! episodes with Ken Jennings and the first one was terrible in my opinion mainly because it just felt so wrong, but as I’ve kept watching I think it’s becoming less weird. I am excited to see the other guest hosts just to see how different they’ll each be.
I tried this drugstore John Frieda sea spray and it was complete crap. I may have overused it, but that’s really not my fault. Why in the hell don’t hair product labels tell you how many pumps you should use?! I swear to god, if only I were running things…
I made popovers for the first time and they were surprisingly easy! I might never buy a dinner roll ever again.
Popovers
I love the softness of these Indigo pajamas so much that I bought them twice (in both red & blue).
I heard the old Frank Sinatra song That’s Life on the radio the other day and got so teary, maybe ‘cause I haven’t heard it in years? Maybe ‘cause it’s just a perfect song? Am I slowly just losing it? While it was playing, I just kept saying to myself “That IS life!” Yeah, might have lost it.
I watched the newest season of Big Mouth and loved it. The anxiety mosquito might be the best new character introduced in the middle of a series OF ALL TIME. Such a great show.
I started watching Superstore (mostly in the background) and it’s pretty good! I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I definitely get the appeal.
My friend Dusty got his film Violation into Sundance and it’s wild that I know such immensely talented people. So, so proud of him.
I made blintzes with a Grand Marnier mascarpone (the blintz recipe is, of course, from Chef John and the mascarpone recipe is from one of Stanley Tucci’s cookbooks). It was delicious. It seems so intimidating to make crepes, but it was actually so easy and fun. Plus it looks like it’d be such a complicated thing to make, but I’d say it’s even easier than baking cookies.
Blintz with Grand Marnier mascarpone & wild blueberries in a cranberry coulis
I tried to read Ijeoma Oluo’s newest book Mediocre and I just couldn’t get into it. Even I was surprised because I love her work, so maybe I’ll give this one another try at a later date.
I had a real craving for a good bagel and since I’m not near Brooklyn Bagel in Astoria at the moment, I looked up the best place in this area for a bagel and went to the Old Bagel House on Lakeshore. And look, I respect what they’re doing, but they don’t hold a candle to New York bagels. Hard pass.
I’ve been using this tea tree night lotion from The Body Shop for years now, it really calms down your face before bed. Their entire tea tree collection is hard to beat.
I recently started eating frozen Canadian wild blueberries and they taste soblueberry. It’s madness. They’re so tiny and full of flavour, I couldn’t believe it. I’m so used to the blandness of blueberries from literally everywhere else. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE!
In 34 years on this planet I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries
Paul Rudd is a glimmering example of an 8 who became a 10 by having a good personality. That’s right folks, you can go up by +2 just by being wonderful
"Reduce Stress" isn't an acceptable treatment suggestion for any ailment unless the doctor telling you to do it is offering to cover your expenses while you rest.
Almost a year later and I still think it’s absurd that we’re all expected to carry on like everything isn’t bizarre. No change in work schedules, hours or anything. We’re really the “this is fine” meme come to life.
— Creole Lady Grey Poupon (@theelectwoman08) January 4, 2021
wanna open a bar called “plot twist” where upon entering the establishment you suddenly learn that you are that evenings bartender
i used to think that commissioning a hologram of your wife's dead father who you never met and having him call you a genius from beyond the grave was proof of a perfect marriage but i guess i'll have to rethink https://t.co/UyOoVfIGMa
2021: are the armed insurrectionists storming the Capitol aware that there is a plague ravaging the land
— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) January 7, 2021
this is my favorite photo of the year. John Trumbull’s Surrender of General Burgoyne sitting right there and he grabs a PODIUM?! FUND ARTS EDUCATION NOW! 🤡 pic.twitter.com/nfT37LZoM1
What’s always appalled me about this country is how we have so much more empathy for powerful people who commit crimes out of greed than for poor people who commit crimes out of desperation.
Once my husband was reading a Halloween book to our 4 y/o niece & she pointed to a vague monster in the background of an illustration. “Who IS that?” she asked. “I don’t know,” he answered. Then like an exhausted magazine editor in chief, she sighed “It’s probably a ghoul.”
I'd like to teach y'all a Southern phrase that will help you get off a phone/Zoom/Facetime call or you don't want to be on anymore but don't have an excuse to leave. Let me introduce you to the power of "Well, let me let you go"
ONLY person going through border from Canada to US. Customs agent looked at me the way a server does when you walk into their restaurant that’s about to close
bunch of high schoolers just walked past my car in the Taco Bell drive thru I was playing coldplay loud as hell. one of em made eye contact wit me, said something to his friends and they all laughed. this is the worst day of my life
today’s young vegetarians will never know the adrenaline rush of ordering a veggie burger in 2006 with not the faintest idea of what you were about to receive
The notes app is a uniquely melancholy place where banal tasks like "buy paper towels" live next to incoherent, sad aspirations like "become more like safdie brothers" (??)
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
I once asked friends on Facebook for the craziest LA advice their parents had given & 1 said their mom told her to wear a fake ponytail when jogging so if someone grabbed it to try to rape her it would pull out like a lizard's tail and boy do women have a lot more to worry about.
For everyone who is like, “A SATC reboot without Samantha? She’s the sex!” Sure. But she’s been the best friend anyone could ask for since Day One. When I think Samantha - I think this moment sums up her entire existence. That wink!! pic.twitter.com/QrsjnZMFLi
Wonderful, another month has come and gone. It’s hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood these days. I feel like all of my moods are sprinkled with bits of sadness since it’s been such a rough year on everyone. It seems hard to be hopeful and optimistic for the coming months because of everything that has gone on already, but I think I’ll continue on with my internal mantra of “fake it ‘til you make it” - that’s healthy, right? In any case, here’s what happened last month:
I usually don’t mention the things that I don’t do, but this one is notable: I didn’t have the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar this year (because I’m in Canada at the moment). So this is really just a reminder to myself to go hog-wild on them next November.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned them before, but the ready-made roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke? A PERFECT SANDWICH.
I rewatched the original (better) Jumanji and goddamit what a great movie. How did I forget what a perfect movie that was? Miss Robin Williams so much. Which reminds me: I gotta rewatch Jack soon (Coppola’s greatest movie, in my humble opinion). Haven’t seen that one in ages.
Love the new “Oat Milk Latte” nail polish colour at Urban Outfitters. Something about a boring neutral has been really turning me on lately.
The best new hand lotion I’ve used in a long time: this Kiehl’s Hand Salve. I put it on once in the morning and once before bed and it’s crazy how soft it makes them, even if you wash your hands numerous times a day (which, god, I hope you’re doing).
I know that I tend to live in the past at times, but are you ever needing to print some photos fast and don’t know where to get it done? Years ago, they had machines at Shoppers and then they disappeared. And I just discovered that Staples has those print-right-now machines! It takes seconds to print from your phone and it’s crazy cheap. I think you can only get 4 x 6 in size, but still. That’s great!
I’ll always love Cobs Bread (thanks to Marla years ago for introducing me) but I just tried their garlic focaccia and my god. Heavenly. It also makes a great base for any kind of at-home grilled cheese or even an at-home garlic bread using garlic butter.
So I tried the Popeye’s chicken sandwich that people were stabbing each other for and… I fully understand the murdering mentality. It’s an incredible chicken sandwich. I was expecting not to understand the hype, but here I stand before you, four chicken sandwiches deep.
I’ve been consistently using the Luna Night Oil from Sunday Riley (a small version that came with a gift set) and I think it’s really working well. My skin looks amazing in the morning after each use. So I might bite the bullet and buy the full size when I run out.
Just so sad to see this man pass away.
And I can’t forget this great one, too.
I simply cannot stop ordering the vegetable fried rice from Fortune Dragon in Mississauga. Can’t and WON’T.
I had such a terrible experience using Skip The Dishes the other night (there was a problem with an order and the restaurant refused to fix the problem and I was on the phone with STD (hahah, can we all call them this from now on PLEASE) for over an hour, just disgusting). So now they’re banned in our house.
And speaking of annoying food experiences, Scaddabush got rid of the best sandwich on their menu. What. the. hell. It was a prosciutto cotto grilled cheese with Italian cured ham, caramelized onions, mozzarella, and fig jam on a focaccia bun and IT IS NO MORE. I did attempt to make it at home one night and it was actually really good, but still. Who wants to spend their evenings caramelizing onions for hours in the kitchen? Well, I do, for one. But regardless! Bad move, Scaddabush.
If you’re looking for a dog groomer in Mississauga, I can’t say enough good things about You Lucky Dog Grooming. They cut Baby Dog’s nails perfectly for $10 and it took less than five minutes. They were so gentle and caring, definitely only gonna go here from now on.
There were a few massive holes in the ceiling in my parents basement (an estimate said it would be $1000 to fix) so I went to Home Depot, got the supplies and did it myself. This is something I would never even want to do, let alone actually do, so the fact that it’s fixed now is insane. Here's what it looked like.
This whole job cost $17 from Home Depot. Nothing is impossible.
Yes, I love them. Yes, they look perfect every single day and that’s amazing. But no one tells you the cons, so let me tell you what they are.
Pressing buttons is an annoyance. The buttons of debit machines especially (I’ve incorrectly put in my pin about three times so far), but also remote controls and car radio dials.
Peeling onions or garlic. Or cutting anything on a cutting board in the kitchen, basically.
You know after a shower when you towel off the wet parts of the inside of your ears? Can’t be done.
All zippers and buttons add at least five minutes to your life.
Look, I’m not an animal but sometimes your nose needs a little cleaning when a tissue ain’t gonna cut it. That being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick your nose with these.
Typing at your regular speed.
Peeling clementines is simply out of the question (which is annoying because they’re so in season right now).
Putting on and taking off necklaces.
And most of all, yes you can still scratch parts of your body, but it’s an unfulfilling scratch. These nails aren’t as sharp as my real ones, so the scratch is lackluster.
That being said, I do love them. I’m not sure if I’ll get them again, but they’re beautiful and I can definitely see the appeal.
I watched a few episodes of Somebody Feed Phil with my brother Robbie and it’s a pretty cute show. I only watched the New York, New Orleans, Venice & San Francisco episodes, but I’m sure I’ll watch the rest soon. I think I liked it because the host really lets the guests be the charming, endearing ones, and most TV hosts aren’t very good at that.
So since we missed both Thanksgivings this year, we picked a random day to do our turkey dinner and this year I did the rub for the bird (Mom handled all the gross stuff) and it came out amazing! Also made my favourite salad dressing (love a shallot in a dressing), this perfect cranberry sauce and best garlic bread. And instead of a whole pie, we just got mini pumpkin tarts from Whole Foods. The next day, I finally made the moist maker sandwich (from Friends) and it turned out really well.
Turkey a la Liz
The leftover sandwich, the next day
Best tweets of the month ahead:
men be like ”I love a girl with confidence” and then destroys it
I see tweets like, “Dems are winning, act like it!” What these fail to take into account is the country’s on the verge of breaking up with an abuser. We’ve been bombarded, traumatized for 4 years. The joy of being out is tempered by uncertainty over whether it’s really over.
Good morning! If you only look at one map today, make it this one. This is what red/blue states really look like. Land doesn't vote. People do. #ElectionResults2020pic.twitter.com/dfpl4N2MLq
Someone wanna tell me why this (perfect) baby can talk on the phone in Japanese better than me even though I've been doing it longer!! 😭🥰 pic.twitter.com/gRVTWBgg2u
I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium. pic.twitter.com/P45HV1daD9
My wife was driving us home and said “the sky is so beautiful.” I pointed to a weird old man on the street and said “this guy?” Anyway if you were in the car you would’ve laughed.
i think society won't be satisfied with BEFORE & AFTER weight loss pictures until there's a woman on the left side & just an empty pile of clothes on the ground on the right side WOW WHAT'S HER SECRET?!
In college I have discovered that I actually have a passion for nothing. My dream job is no job and a mansion by the sea with lots of windows. Manifesting xoxo ✨
Let's be clear: Dolly Parton is a millionaire and not a billionaire because she *keeps giving money away*. Being a billionaire is a MORAL FAILING. She gives away shockingly large amounts of money every year and is STILL RICHER THAN YOU AND I WILL EVER BE.
— Jerome Comeau is social-media-distancing (@Heronymus) November 17, 2020
bring back landlines i wanna be on my phone while i’m on the phone
Truly one of the worst publishing decisions in a year of particularly bad decisions was allowing Cuomo to put out a book about how he solved COVID-19 for NY.
One thing no one ever talks about being an adult is how much time you debate yourself on keeping a cardboard box because it's, like, a really good box.
This is Khan. He’s the sneakiest shoe stealer on the planet. Has never ever been caught... until now. 14/10 (IG: khantheweenie) pic.twitter.com/qyAQzDWuju
It’s fuckin wild how the solution is as simple as “just pay places to be closed and pay people to stay home” and that’s been the solution this whole time and the government is just like “nah”
Pretty incredible that homelessness isn’t even a mainstream political issue at all. Neither party gives a shit. We could solve it tomorrow and wouldn’t even miss the money but there’s no profit in that so it’s not a possibility. One of the most glaring US human rights atrocities.
capitalism is the only system that works, which is why every viral tweet has a follow-up reply from the OP linking a gofundme for a close friend who is dying
We’re being held hostage by a psychopath in kitten heels and a fake tan and his lunatic lawyer with hair dye dripping down his face because some of you thought a woman would be too emotional to run the country.
Simply cannot stop thinking about a girl I knew who dated a guy she couldn’t STAND - all because his ex died in a plane crash, & her biggest fear was dying in a plane crash, & she figured there was no way the universe would let both of this guy’s girlfriends die in a plane crash
current government messaging is like don’t go out ❤️ but bars and restaurants are open ❤️ but don’t go there ❤️ but support local businesses and restaurants they need it ❤️ but again don’t go out ❤️
The government has had 6 months to prepare for a second wave and have done absolutely nothing. Now we are punishing small businesses and workers that will not survive while our leaders eat Arctic char indoors. This is genuinely an upside down backwards society.
Do other people’s Thanksgivings operate the way my house did where dinner might be ready any time between 3pm and 9:30pm and the people cooking get very angry if you ask
My kid just started watching freaks and geeks...without me. I always wanted to watch it with her. But I get it. Because even if you start out Kim fucking Kelly, eventually you just end up someone’s uncool mom. 😭
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: watching the new season of Big Mouth, doing the Polar Drive experience, there have been only two snowstorms so far and I can’t wait for more to come, and I’ve already started baking the chocolate chip Nutella cookies that I love to make this time of year but I want to try something new as well so I’m thinking about giving these ones a try. Christmas will of course be different this year, it’s looking like it’ll be me, my parents (since I’ve been staying here since October), Nathan & Baby Dog on Christmas morning, which actually seems like it might be kind of intimate and nice. It’ll feel wrong in certain ways because I love having my entire family here, but I’m going to try and make the most of it.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here.
I've been wanting to try this out for such a long time - so it finally happened! And honestly? It tasted incredible. I adapted Chef John's recipe slightly, so if you'd like to give it a try yourself, please read on.
Ingredients
1 head cauliflower, cored and separated into florets
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Puree the cauliflower in a food processor until finely ground.
Cook ground cauliflower, water, minced garlic, salt, and pepper together in a skillet over medium-high heat until most of the water evaporates, 5 to 6 minutes. Then make sure to cool completely.
Transfer the cauliflower to the center of a clean dish towel. Wrap and squeeze tightly to remove all excess moisture. (If you want to do this in small batches, that might be smart since you'll get as much water out as you can that way.) You should have about 1 1/2 cups of cauliflower pulp.
Stir the cauliflower, goat cheese, Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, egg, and cayenne pepper together in a bowl to form a soft dough. Gather dough into a ball and place in the center of the prepared baking sheet. Press dough into circle about 1/4-inch thick.
Bake in the preheated oven until golden brown and set, about 40 minutes. Cool and make sure to turn the crust over before topping the pizza and then placing in the oven once again for 15 minutes to bake the toppings into the pizza.
And one more amazing tip from Chef John about this recipe: if you're making this for other people, tell them that they're coming over to eat cauliflower. That way they're pleasantly surprised when it turns out to look (and totally taste) like pizza, with a cauliflower undertone.
I don't have an ice cream maker. Why? Mainly because I don't have an oven - and if I must splurge on some sort of luxury kitchen item (yes, it's sad that I view an oven as a "luxury kitchen item" but I'm coming to terms with that), my first purchase would be this oven. That being said, I have dreams of one day owning an ice cream maker. But until that day comes, this recipe will tide me over.
I know that I've gone on and on about how great Chef John's recipes are, so if you have politely nodded your head along to those past posts without actually making any of his dishes - THIS IS THE ONE YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY MAKE. Partly because it's crazy easy and partly because it's summer and you should indulge in something that's homemade and ridiculously delicious.
Do I have to express to you HOW HARD I would make these if/when I ever have a dinner party? Do I really have to inform you of such an obvious thought? The only thing that could make this gorgeous little dessert better would be vanilla ice cream served alongside it.
Someone give me a beautiful kitchen with a fully functioning oven so I can make these dreams happen.
I've made it quite clear how much I love Chef John and I just tried this soup recipe of his recently that is insanely good and crazy easy to make. You can find the full recipe over here. (I omitted the flower garnish because, well, we don't care for garnish in our household. Also, I feel like you have to make a certain amount of money to be classified as a person who garnishes.)
I yearn to be a great cook. I like to think that I try my best, but I'm just not that great at it. But this dip? I can make this flawlessly and people actually eat it with a smile - so this will be one of my great go-to things to make for the rest of my days. I know I've mentioned it once quickly before in another post, but I wanted to put up the video for it as well. Also, do you know how much I love this man - Chef John? A lot. (I've mentioned my love for him in the past.) He's just the best and his recipes are almost always amazing. Anyway, you can watch the video for the recipe or go on over here for a print out. Tasty as hell.
