All of the Christmas gifts are bought and under the tree, why the hell don’t I do this every year? People are mean in those mall parking lots, so I’m grateful to be done the shopping portion of the season. Now there’s just decorating and cooking left, which is kind of the best part. Here’s what went down last month!
The best tweets of November can be found over here.
I took a day trip to Buffalo (and woof, I really don’t like that city), but I’m happy to report that the Wegman’s ultimate chocolate cake remains the greatest cake in the history of grocery store cakes.
Hot take: suburban Targets are too big. It’s enough already.
I got a tub of white chocolate raspberry butter from a holiday market and it’s changed all of our lives, it’s so good. (It’s made me want to make a bunch of different butter combinations for the holidays, so I’ll report back.)
Love a seasonal flavour and these (below) are pretty great.
Getting Lost (the documentary about the show Lost) - look, I was a fan of the show but I wasn’t a superfan so maybe I’m not the key demographic here. It definitely could’ve been edited/shortened, but I did love Kate’s explanation of the finale.
The Martha documentary on Netflix - loved it. Yes, she’s a bitch (with the way she talks to her staff) but she’s insanely rich so I don’t see why that’s surprising. Nice people aren’t exceedingly rich, it’s that simple.
The Weekend Away (Netflix) - not terrible!
Anora - best movie of the year, hands down.
Cast Away - god, it’s still such a great movie, especially this monologue.
The John Mulaney SNL - okay, the man is not funny. I’d say it’s bewildering that he’s so popular but so many famous comedians are terrible…? So this makes sense?
Bowen Yang in this Shrek sketch is so goddam funny, I’ve watched it five times.
Some things I’m looking forward to this month: cannot wait for that first snowfall, there’s a maple syrup museum I want to take the kids to, already bought my bayberry candles for Christmas Eve, I’d love to make homemade ricotta after watching Ina do it and I will definitely be watching some of these movies.
Had dinner at The Bar Room and the grilled chicken on top of their caesar salad was unparalleled. Another thing I love doing when I’m eating in midtown is going to JG Melon afterward for coffee or dessert. It’s the only move.
Speaking of good moves, have you ever sat out on a patio just as the weather’s starting to change and ordered a Peroni? Just one, for the whole afternoon? Might be the answer to everything.
I got drinks at Nubeluz by Jose Andres at The Ritz-Carlton and it was so lovely. The service is great, the views are wild and the drinks and food were perfect. The only thing that made no sense was the waitress/hostess uniforms, but I’m picky as hell??
View from Nubeluz, NYC
Love when places care about wallpaper, at Nubeluz
I tried two products from Hero since I love their blemish patches - the lightening pads and the brightening stick and both were shit. Returned.
I ate at Golden Unicorn in Chinatown and it was really nothing special. I did love the atmosphere, it was very 90s banquet hall-y. But the food was wildly underwhelming.
Pigs at Golden Unicorn, NYC
Chinatown, NYC
Also ate at Olio E Piu and wow was that bad. It was just insanely loud, had way too many 22 year olds with flashes going off, and the dessert was hard as a rock. Never again. Hate getting burned like this.
Went to The Guggenheim to see the Nick Cave exhibit and yes it was good/fine, but my dumbass thought it was the other Nick Cave. So that’s on me. I guess I’ll just always be disappointed by the exhibits here until they decide to make use of their central space again like they used to do years ago.
The Guggenheim, February 2023
The Guggenheim, February 2023
Some things I watched:
The Player: this started out as one of the coolest movies I’ve seen in such a long time (especially the opening twenty minutes) and then as it went on turned into one of the worst? That rarely happens, so that was confusing.
Pamela, A Love Story: so great. One thing I especially love about her? At the first sign of abuse in any of her relationships, she’s out the door. You don’t hear that a lot and it makes me love her even more. God, it’s still infuriating that Hulu made that series without her permission.
Split: okay, I may be the only person with this opinion (HOW?!). but holy hell did I hate this movie. It should be studied how polarizing M. Night Shyamalan can be. I have absolutely loved some of his movies and I have wanted to vomit at others. How can this be possible? I don’t understand it.
I had this stupid little reaction video blow up on Instagram, which is wild. Stay out of the comments though, it’s crazy in there.
I ate at Soothr and it was so, so good. Love a new thai place.
Paul at Soothr, NYC
Some things I watched this month:
The Santa Clauses (the new Tim Allen show): Ugh, it was terrible. Maybe I’m not the audience it’s supposed to be for, but still - just a stinkfest.
Jack Frost: I love Michael Keaton, but I just couldn’t get past the first half hour. It’s way too sad.
The Crown (seasons 3-5): Loved the season three Wales episode. The moon landing one was also perfect. It’s a great show, but extremely depressing if you’re binging it over a short period of time.
Pepsi, Where’s My Jet?: God, I hated it. Netflix has this annoying habit of making documentary series out of things that could easily be 40 minutes long and it is obnoxious as hell. You do not need to watch this. Read the Wikipedia page about it instead, you’ll save yourself so much wasted time.
I was looking up trivia for the movie Scrooged and learned that the childhood house in the movie is a real place in Queens! So obviously I walked over to see it in person. Insanity that it hasn’t changed after all of this time.
Frank Cross’ childhood home from Scrooged (1988) in Queens, New York
I won a lottery ticket to see A Christmas Carol on Broadway and… YIKES. I can’t describe how bad it was. First of all, IT WAS A ONE MAN SHOW. And I didn’t know that beforehand, so yes that’s my fault. But oh my god, it was agony.
A Christmas Carol on Broadway in New York, December 2022
Are we all aware of how garbage the brand Silani is? I tried it for the first time and lord was it bad. Never again. Spend the extra dollar and eat something edible.
I watched the final World Cup game with my parents and I’m glad France lost, give others a chance to win too, ya know?
World Cup final with my parents, December 2022
I will never be above latte art.
Latte art from San Remo’s in Etobicoke, Ontario
I went to Bell, Book & Candle for some Christmas themed drinks and it was great. Love a divey, but good bar.
I also made a leftover turkey sandwich with STUFFING WAFFLES and it was so, so good. Again it photographed rough, but tasted incredible. I used this recipe to make the waffles. Definitely have to do this again.
The main reason to go to the Union Square Holiday Market? Duck confit poutine at Duck Season. It’s honestly a better poutine than some Canadian places.
Crate & Barrel continues to have the cutest fabric Christmas ornaments.
Harry Potter-looking cat ornament at Crate & Barrel
Fabric snowman ornament at Crate & Barrel
Trader Joe’s had Christmas wreaths this year, so I got one and it was perfect. It makes me feel so together to have a wreath on my door. I still have it up. I don’t want to say goodbye.
Christmas wreath from Trader Joe’s
I went to see Noah Baumbach talk about his new movie White Noise at a NYPL event and it was very all right. I wish he’d talked more about older movies of his that I’ve loved, but I guess it makes sense that he didn’t since he was promoting this one.
Noah Baumbach speaking at an NYPL event promoting White Noise, December 2022
The candy cane cold brew from Blank Street? Unparalleled.
One of my favourite things to do in December in New York is to walk around the city looking at the holiday lights and listen to that Darlene Love song on repeat.
The Rockefeller Christmas Tree, December 2022
Saks holiday lights, December 2022
Macy’s holiday decorations, December 2022
Holiday taxi display on Fifth Avenue, December 2022
I went to Essex Market to see their Gingerbread Village display, which was cute but I wish it was bigger. And since I was there, I took a look at the sandwich menu at Shopsin’s and holy christ I need to go back.
Gingerbread Village at Essex Market in NYC, December 2022
Nothing better than a Boxing Day puzzle.
Boxing Day, December 2022
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m going to get real dressed up and go see Moulin Rouge on Broadway with my friend Diana, I’m excited about seeing the Restaurant Week menus for this season, I’m going to start using this first-of-the-month checklist again, Classpass is doing a free monthly promotion right now so I’ll keep doing that until it starts charging again, and I really can’t wait to make this lasagna soup.
I also revisited part one of that same exhibit because new pieces were added and they are spectacular. (And quick note: there’s no rooftop exhibit at The Met this summer! I emailed them to see why and they told me that it “has been delayed per the artist’s request“ which is complete bullshit! If the artist couldn’t make it work for this year, why the hell didn’t they commission someone else to fill the space for this year? The fuck?)
I never use face cream, but the texture of my face was weirdly rough for about a week so I lathered on the belief aqua bomb cream each night and it smoothed me right out back to normal within two days. It also works really well on elbows if ashiness is ever a concern for you.
So intensely in love with these new shorts I got from Banana Republic Factory.
I’ve tried many foot masks, but this Holler and Glow one from Target is my absolute favourite. It’s even better than that baby foot mask everyone loved a few years back.
Went to Bar Crudo in Brooklyn and it was incredible. The crab cakes were perfect, everything we ordered was phenomenal (except the ricotta toast). Have to go back.
I’ve been making individual iced teas each day and this month solely consisted of the Trader Joe’s pomegranate white tea. It’s so fruity, but not at all too sweet.
Two new discoveries! I have a moderate dairy allergy and a possible pollen allergy! Sweet! This is what your late thirties looks like I guess?
I tried a sample of the silk peony eye cream (eyes are rolling at that name) from Tatcha and it yes it was good. But no it should not be $62. All creams should be max $20 and that’s even pushing it a bit.
I badly want to make these chocolate toffee cookies (below).
Things I Watched:
I’m in the middle of a rewatch of Friday Night Lights (Hulu), it’s not as good as it was the first time around but Riggins can still get it.
Also rewatching Undeclared (YouTube!) and it’s as good as I remembered it.
Our Father (Netflix) was pure chaos. It’s so disturbing and awful, I kind of want to tell you not to even watch it? It’s not worth it. Awful people who get away with doing awful things is such a weird thing to recommend to watch.
Inventing Anna (Netflix) was irritatingly bad. A lot of the acting was terrible, the scripts were awful. Why on earth was this longer than a 90 minute made-for-TV movie? This is one of those times the Wikipedia page is more interesting than the final product.
The Mystery of Marilyn Monroe: The Unheard Tapes (Netflix) was, again, hard to watch. I’ve seen dozens of movies about this woman and every new thing I learn about her is more depressing than the last. God, the Kennedys were awful people.
St. Elmo’s Fire (Hulu) was terrible! I’d never seen it before but UGH. There are so many good people in it, I had such high hopes. Not one likable character in a cast of what seemed to be fifty people. Also, I know it was the ‘80s but no friend would ever put another friend’s head in a toilet, it just wouldn’t happen. Terrible script.
Everything Everywhere All At Once (theatres) was good! There were definitely parts that were a smidge too corny, but as a whole it was really good.
Flamingo Kid (streamed online) is such a good summer movie, I can’t believe I haven’t seen it before. It’s light and low maintenance and a young Matt Dillon is very pleasant to look at.
Big Night (streamed online) was so good. I’ve wanted to see it forever because of how food centric it is and it was perfect.
Top Gun: Maverick (theatres) was actually really good. Even I surprise myself sometimes. Love Tom Cruise. LOVE that he insisted on little to no CGI.
It’s amazing that spring garlic is still in season, I’m begging you to find some.
The main thing I’m looking forward to this month: I’m going on my big postponed-from-2020 trip! I’ll definitely be posting about it on my Instagram stories and (and highlights section) if you have any interest in seeing what I get up to. I could tell you some of the things planned, but where’s the fun in that?
The best month has arrived! I know this has been a full year of complete trash, but spring is coming and it’s always the most hope-filled season, in my eyes. So even if I’m living in a dream world, let’s pretend that things might get better.
First things first, I tested positive for COVID earlier this month, but I’ve recovered completely and I know that I’m crazy lucky to have had it so mildly. I lost my sense of taste and smell for only a few weeks and it’s almost 100% back now, which is amazing. Somehow, magically, I didn’t infect my parents and they both tested negative (I was staying with them since autumn of last year), so that was also another little miracle.
Some movies I rewatched in my isolation: Groundhog Day (it’s the perfect movie to watch in a pandemic), Titanic (I think I rewatch this maybe two or three times a year, it never stops being great), and Stepmom (haven’t seen this in years and though I don’t love the movie, the part when the little boy says to his mother, “No one will ever love you like I love you” is weep-worthy).
Some new things I watched:
I finished the first five seasons of Superstore and it’s just a great show, with such good characters, fully recommend. The only part I hated was Sandra giving away Jerry to Carol, I just seethed at that joke for some reason.
The new To All The Boys I’ve Loved movie that came out. Yes, it’s super corny at times but it’s also very cute.
Emily in Paris, I don’t know why, it was a weird month. My two takeaways? The woman looks 12 years old, so I don’t know… the whole premise feels weird when you think you’re watching a child. And Darren Star must really find it truly hilarious when American women step in shit in France. His favourite joke on this planet, apparently.
The new Britney Spears documentary. Love her, loved it, hope things turn out all right for her.
Promising Young Woman, I loved it. Such an original, well done movie. Certain parts are slightly triggering if you’ve ever dealt with similar abuse situations, but overall it’s really, really good. (The soundtrack is great, too.)
Stanley Tucci’s CNN show Searching For Italy. Amazing! Love this man! I’ve had this dream trip around Italy planned for years that I intend to take one day and this show allows me to bask in that dream even harder. I should do a post about the specifics of this trip (I have it all organized within a Word document and map outlines), that way I can get people to contribute any must-do things that I should add. Okay, yes, I’ll post that later this month.
The Cecil Hotel series. Okay, look, the lam-Elisa tuberculosis part is intriguing as hell, but everything else? This could easily have been an hour long special. Also, fuck you Netflix for glazing over mental health issues, and giving such a strong voice to YOUTUBERS who know nothing and spout hurtful conspiracies. The whole series is so manipulatively done, absolutely do not recommend.
Have you ever been in a Food Basics? Because christ. It’s the most depressing grocery store chain I’ve ever had the misfortune of entering. Just a shocking vibe. Never again.
I’ll never understand why mixed bouquets exist when beautiful arrangements like this are an option. They’re always breathtaking.
I tried a sample of a coffee body scrub from Mine Tan and I want to buy a full sized version immediately. It makes you so insanely soft that it’s completely worth the mess that it makes after using it in the shower.
I made hummingbird cake for the first time and it was incredible, everyone should make this cake. The photo isn’t good, but the cake absolutely was. Will totally make again. You can’t really even taste any of the pineapple, but it makes it so moist and enjoyable for days after you’ve made it.
Hummingbird cake
I tried the TikTok leggings and they suhuuuuuuck. Don’t buy them. Shady material. Does nothing for any ass. In order for these to look like they do in the photo, you must have previously bought the ass that goes along with it.
I made queso that was TERRIBLE. Must remember to always use a recipe that uses Velveeta, anything else will result in a terrible queso.
Tried the carrot cake Oreos and of course they’re good. Oreo has been flawless these past few years at constantly reinventing themselves and succeeding. Love to see that in a cookie.
I tried to get into this Mark Twain biography and it was just too dense. I lasted a few pages before slowly shutting it and placing it far away from me. I know so little about the man (hence the reason I wanted to read his book) but you couldn’t pay me to finish that thing. He remains a mystery to me and I’ve come to terms with that.
I also tried to read Lindy West’s latest book Shit, Actually and… I hated it. Well, what I read I hated. I really didn’t find any of it funny, which is weird because I love her. The only good chapter that I read was the one about The Fugitive. Loved this part: “I was going to say that they don’t make movies like this anymore, where the last thirty minutes is just one continuous incredible chase, except they do, all the time, but they make it all CGI so it’s impossible to care about. Who cares about a drawing of a very fast exploding truck that a computer made? Not me!“
I finally watched the VHS from my fifth grade play Newsies and it did not disappoint. I was magical.
My dad and I have been sending our stamps to Oxfam for awhile now, you should send them any of your used stamps, too! It’s such a good organization. We save up all our stamps that come in and then send them a package a few times a year.
Speaking of stamps, did you know that you can suggest a Canadian stamp theme? I do this every so often, one day I swear one of my ideas will make the cut. This is such a great idea for kids, too.
I made Yorkshire pudding for the first time and it turned out well! I’m not a huge fan of the dull flavours, but I think if I used actual beef fat instead of shortening, then it would’ve tasted a bit stronger. Next time, for sure.
Yorkshire pudding
I bought this cake stand and dome from IKEA for my parent’s house and good god, what’s not perfect about a cake dome. What cake doesn’t benefit from its own little palace?
Best tweets of the month ahead.
Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.
for some awful reason my boyfriend and i keep accidentally wearing similar outfits but he's a foot taller than me so i look like a furious little doll of him
My toddler daughter spent 30 min telling me she don’t like crab legs and then sat in my damn lap and had me feeding her crab legs and gone tell me “dip it in butter good”
— Hueless P. Newton aka Shaun Scheme (@NotSoNewlywedPC) January 29, 2021
Netflix documentaries are always like, here is the story of a teen murdered on a boat but before we get to that let’s do 3 episodes on the history of water.
the cOST???? of LIVING??????? has anybody even said that out loud lol
— nat “cops break laws to terrorize/intimidate” puff (@LeftAtLondon) February 13, 2021
7th grade Spanish teacher taught us that patatas bravas were called that because the potatoes were brave for going into the spicy sauce and I will cherish that thought for the rest of my life. Honor them. Honor their sacrifice
In Mexico (probably other places too), Valentine’s Day is “the day of love and friendship.” But Americans only seem interested in the romantic connections, as if platonic relationships aren’t just or even more foundational to a person’s life. Friendship doesn’t get enough credit.
Like 3 weeks ago Gen z discovered wearing baggy pants and started standing pigeon toed in fit pics now suddenly my skinny jeans are cringe? Suck yaself
'Why fit in when you were born to stand out?' says yet another bio from a mother of three who's engagement photos of her and her bearded plaid shirt wearing partner were taken in a pumpkin patch
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: can’t wait to make this kale caesar with breadcrumbs, there are surprisingly good Sephora rewards available right now (I just got the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Serum Crystal Elixir reward that I can’t wait to try even though I have zero idea what it does), I’m going to do some research into all of these books and try to find the best ones at the library, I’m so excited that Shrill has a release date (May 7th), I’d love to get a haircut, and I can’t wait to get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. Oh, and I plan on eating the hell out of this leek focaccia at Lilia.
Forgive the lateness of this monthly post! I wish I could say it’s late because I’ve been crazy busy, but it’s really been because I’ve been lounging my ass around various corners of my parent’s house and trying my best to not watch any American news. Here’s what went down last month.
I started watching The Parkers and, as expected, it’s pretty great. Kim for life.
I got a lash lift aaaaaand it was bullshit. My eyes have never been more irritated and that’s coming from someone who went through corneal surgery. I think lash lifts are supposed to be for people who already have long lashes. But if you have long lashes, then why the hell do you need them to be lifted? SCAM.
Are eyelash curlers bad for people with short lashes? I was told they were. But that was by someone who also recently fucked my lashes, so I’m not sure what to believe now.
So many new movies were watched in October: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely great), Motel Hell (also great), Moment of Truth: Stalking Back (too real, a little hard to watch, but I’m really looking forward to watching other made-for-tv-movies from the series), Hush (a great movie, but again: too much, I might not be able to handle modern horror & I’m fine with that), Summer Camp Nightmare (great), Goodnight Mommy (parts of it were really cringe-y to watch but it was incredible), Mom (so, so underrated), Wolf (it was actually pretty good, how on earth had I not seen it before?), House on Haunted Hill (the old version and it was great! It ends abruptly but it’s still a fun movie), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (80s as hell, but not as terrible as I thought it’d be), Creepshow 2 (just a good time), Frogs (terrible and not in a fun way), Cujo (just a story of neglectful pet owners), Night of the Demons (not bad, not good), This Is Paris (it was really, really good. It’s definitely hard to watch if you’ve dealt with abuse in any way, but it’s really well done) and I got through about nine minutes of Cats before I just had to call it.
Started getting the cashew yogurt from Trader Joe’s and it’s so addictive.
The new SNLs have been all right, nothing special. And look, I love Jim Carrey. Forever will. But he isn’t good as Biden. It’s such a weird choice. Highlight of the episodes this month? The Bieberperformances, surprisingly.
I made the Impossible Burger at home (you can buy them at any Fairway Market) and they’re absolutely the top veggie burger on the market today. So damn good.
There’s this restaurant in Mississauga (Erin Mills Pump & Patio) that does such a good job of replicating this now-off-menu pasta that I used to love from Snug Harbour and I’m so thankful to have found it. (It’s the Hunters Penne Pasta with chicken, cremini and shitake mushrooms, Italian parsley, black truffle oil in a white wine cream sauce incase you want to taste heaven.)
We went to Downey’s on Halloween this year and for the first time got their homemade cheese bread. Life will never be the same. Some photos of the day below.
The LCBO puts out a seasonal magazine with food and drink recipes that I looooove. One of my favourite magazines for sure.
I made a batch of hot ginger toddies and yes they were good but waaaay too high maintenance to make at home. It’s definitely a drink that’s easier to just order when out.
I made these ginger sesame noodles with caramelized mushrooms and wow. Definitely will make again. I’d never thought of having broth at the bottom of a bowl full of noodles, but it’s such a great idea.
If you watch it with the sound off, it looks like she's revealing to James Bond that she was on Goldfinger's side the whole time https://t.co/1Uy81p1fCc
I once had a coworker who had just moved here from France and she could not get over her horror that on Halloween we waste pumpkins by making lanterns out of them and not turning them into soup or whatever
Our whole lives we hear: Don't talk about your period. Don't talk about sex. Don't talk about infertility. Don't talk about miscarriage. Don't talk badly about a pregnancy. Don't talk about PPD. Don't talk about anything post-partum except the baby. Only a baby matters. Not you.
You don’t “make” $15/hr. You “make” 100s or 1000s of $$ worth of product each hour and sell it for $15 each hour. You didn’t make anything for yourself. You sold an hour of your life and your body for $15. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. Your labor value is getting stolen
— Bryan Lindstrom (he/him/we) (@BryanLindstrom4) October 11, 2020
Normalize starting over as many times as you need.
Just spoke to a friend who was beating herself up for not doing more with this year and I had to remind her (and myself) that we were only supposed to be doing this for 2 weeks! A month max! You didn't waste this year, it was stolen and anything you DID achieve is a miracle!
hey babe I really appreciate you taking birth control even if it fucks you up, it just feels really good on my penis to not wear a condom for the 15 minutes of sex we have twice a week
If you walk down the street and you're mad that people are living in tents, please direct your anger and effort towards creating a housing system that doesn't allow people to end up homeless because they lost a job, had medical debt, or faced a rent hike they couldn't afford.
i wonder if my cat ever looks at me while i’m sleeping and thinks “ok that is the cutest way i have ever seen someone sleeping in my life” or is it one sided
Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: reading Lindy West’s new book, decorating my parent’s house for the Christmas season, and SNOW.
Have you ever explored the hidden categories on Netflix? I JUST found out about these, and it’s amazing. Just go to http://www.netflix.com/browse/genre/### then delete ### and drop in one of these codes instead:
The leaves are starting to fall, the colder winds are coming, the pumpkins are starting to appear and I’ve never wanted an October more than I do right now. This time of year stirs up so much inside of me, I can barely breathe. However you enjoy this season, I hope you take some time to bask in these autumn days that are typically so fleeting. Here’s what went down last month.
I ate at Buvette and their snails were definitely the highlight.
I saw the movie The Car and it was phenomenal. You have to see it. The dialogue is atrocious, but a young, smokeshow James Brolin? Christ, he can get it. It’s a perfect bad movie.
I went to Gramercy Tavern and of course that place never disappoints. The service, the food, everything is impeccable. Some photos below.
Of course they have their own sanitizer
The Harvest Daiquiri with Frozen El Dorado 8 yr Rum, Green Chartreuse, Caradonna Farms Apple Cider, Lime
Chilled Corn Soup with Pickled Cauliflower, Beets, Avocado
Something new: did you know that Sephora has in-store rewards available that are different from the rewards shown on their website? Something to check out near the front cashier the next time you’re in a Sephora.
I bought the Mario Badescu Drying Lotion again because it’s such a great product for calming down acne and one bottle lasts at least six months or so.
A great piece about the arts scene in New York City right now.
I rarely listen to podcasts, but I listened to the Conan O’Brien episode of the Michelle Obama podcast and it was great. The episode is about marriage and I liked it so much because I love hearing about how couples first met and fell for one another.
As with every other person on earth this month, I watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix and then immediately deleted all the games off of my phone. I know the whole message was to delete Instagram and Facebook, but I’ve never had Facebook on my phone (what am I, 90?) and I truly don’t go on Instagram that much (not by choice, I have a shite battery that lasts about eight minutes a day).
I started watching Girlfriends and even though the pilot is rooooough (as most pilots are), it’s an all right show. It’s insane that Sex And The City basically stole this entire premise. I did, however, stop watching because all of the women are so wildly tiny, it warps my brain to sit and stare at skinny women for long periods of time.
I bought this scalp massager and holy hell, it’s incredible. It elevates a shower times a thousand.
I tried a sample of Fab Pharma’s Rescue Mask and it’s pretty great. It’s weird to not wash a mask off yes, but your skin feels amazing in the morning after use.
My friend Dusty had his movie reviewed by Roger Ebert’s website which is so huge and amazing. Wildly proud.
I started watching Sister, Sister on Netflix and Lisa is the greatest character of all time.
The new autumn candle at Trader Joe’s? Honeycrisp Apple! Already bought! Already sold out! Will I light it or just keep it to smell every so often? None of your business.
Another great New Yorker cover.
I was fortunate enough to eat at Atoboy (thank you Katie & Greg!) and it was perfection. I’ve never eaten tuna so heavenly. Such a wonderful meal and the service especially was warm as hell.
I finally bought those Aerie bike shorts I’ve wanted for months and they’re incredible. Bike shorts should always be this damn soft.
Finally ate at Arte Cafe on the Upper West Side and loved it.
I visited the Krispy Kreme flagship in Times Square and it was pretty great. Most locations in every suburban city have glass windows where you see the donuts being made, so I didn’t get the huge appeal?
I may or may not have indulged in some of the seasonal desserts at Comfortland in Astoria, I won’t tell you details because they weren’t anything amazing. Honestly, nothing compares to the apple fritters at San Remo’s in Etobicoke.
I watched the Surviving R. Kelly sequel on Netflix and it didn’t really have any new information, which makes sense because there hasn’t even been a trial yet.
I also watched all of season one and some of season two of Twin Peaks (for the first time) and I have some thoughts. First things first, the pilot is incredible. But… why is the background/theme music so terrible? It never matches any of the scenes in tone and it just leaves me confused most times. Some parts are so fucking off and bad (acting-wise, script-wise) that I literally googled certain scenes to see if they were supposed to be funny or if I was missing something. What the fuck is with all of the dancing? And THIS scene? What in the good holy fuck?? UGH, and then David Lynch SHOWS UP IN THE SHOW? Kill me. The entire series should’ve lasted one season. I can officially say that I don’t give one shit about who the fuck killed Laura Palmer, she’s the luckiest character of them all to be dead. Blow me, Lynch.
When Jhene said ‘I used to think I was introverted because I really liked being alone but it turns out that I just like my peace, and I am very extroverted around people who bring me peace.’ I FELT THAT IN MY CHEST.
Ok I’m stoned but this seems like a good idea: what if there was an app that both you and your partner have where you both swipe right or left on movies that are on your streaming services and when you find a match it lets you know
i sit with my daughter while she falls asleep and i always whisper “i love you” in her ear as soon as she falls asleep& she says “i love you too” well tonight we had a little argument before she fell asleep i still whispered “i love you” & all she whispered back was “good” LMFAO
It should count for 4 if you swish it. There I said it.
— C.J. “Lakers Fan Since I Was A Baby” Toledano (@CJToledano) September 12, 2020
i like how nick nurse looks like a kid who is in the middle of a realistic dream where he woke up coaching a major league basketball team and is like "oh god, ok, im gonna try!"
my girlfriend regularly tells me “if free public libraries didn’t already exist and someone tried to invent them, they would be condemned as a socialist plot” and I think about that a lot.
i hate that weight gain is seen as ‘not looking after yourself’ when for a lot of people it’s a sign that we are enjoying food, maybe seeing our friends more, maybe going out more, maybe just letting go of societal standards for a bit! weight gain can be from happy changes too
Dave Grohl goes above and beyond to make 2020 a little more tolerable. Man, this is just heartwarming as fuck! There goes my hero indeed. I wanna be Dave when I grow up. https://t.co/QCsuM0MHp8
does anyone else constantly think about how Jessica Simpson was body shamed in 2009 for being a size 4? and how fatphobic our society has to be to think that even this very small body was unacceptable and worthy of global bullying? because whew I really really do. pic.twitter.com/mSj7GVyzgF
Diving catch through smoke while wearing a face mask, what a demented universe we're all trying to bend into some semblance of normalcy https://t.co/cNKrXiPkdg
Y'all ever think about how indigenous people successfully lived in the Americas for 15,000 years then Europeans came here and 500 years later the whole nation is experiencing apocalyptic climate disaster.
sometimes i remember that if a clown wants to trademark their makeup they have to paint it on an egg that is stored in a special clown egg warehouse and then i have to go lie down pic.twitter.com/5ltP6aQzL5
Why get a dog if you’re just gonna pull on it every time it stops to smell something? That’s what they do. Why not take a fish out the tank and throw it on the floor
Why don’t conservatives ever want to interfere with my body in a HELPFUL way? Fix this little bump on my leg! Exfoliate my elbows! Stretch my quads! Bitch, FLOSS ME.
This is a reminder that the IRS audits way more people who make under $30,000 per year than they do millionaires because the GOP repeatedly stripped their funding and the poor don't have the resources to fight the IRS, while the rich have lawyers to fight them at every turn
once u start shoplifting there is no going back it literally rewires your neural pathways and thought patterns like I now get physically mad whenever I have to pay for something
I wish anti-maskers weren’t a thing so us regular people could complain about masks being annoying without looking like a Q Anon dipshit who refuses to wear one. I just wanna be able to say “this sucks” without having to follow it up with “BUT I WILL BECAUSE IT’S MY CIVIC DUTY”
Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: I must decorate, I really want to make this fall kale salad that sounds incredible, I’m planning a visit to Sleepy Hollow for the day, if I can find the time I really want to try these vegan burgers, I need to finalize the details for my costume this year, MUST BUY these winter stamps, I cannot wait to get my hands on these again, I’m intending on doing my 31-days-of-Halloween celebration yet again (which means that I’ll try to do at least one spookily themed thing each day), and I will definitely be watching some of these 90s sitcoms Halloween episodes. Also, I’m not a huge cronut fan but these flavours (below)?! Get out of here. Already pre-ordered.
The key word being was. We bought an air conditioner! We’ve been an A/C-free family for some time now, but since we’re spending so much time at home, we figured now was the time to be cool. In other news, everything still blows! What a shock! Here’s how I spent July.
I didn’t even know another Halloween movie was being made but of course I’ll go see it even if it turns out to be trash, you gotta support classic horror franchises, that’s just basic horror etiquette 101.
This is the most basic, boring-sounding sandwich on planet earth, but it tastes incredible I promise you (I didn’t add bacon, but I did add fresh mozzarella) and whatever bread you use, it’ll still be great. I find myself constantly forgetting about the greatness of mayo because I, my dear, am an idiot.
I ordered a bunch of new address labels on Zazzle because they were having a Christmas in July sale, so I bought some seasonally inspired labels to use over the next few months. If you’re not seasonally co-ordinating your return address labels, are you even living?
I attempted to watch the new Baby-Sitter’s Club on Netflix and it’s really not meant for me. I was never into the books or the movie or any of it, I never liked the idea of kids caring about making money, it seemed too sad to me. “Just be a kid!” I’d always thought.
Speaking of childhood nostalgia, I have started to watch reruns online of Sweet Valley High, which I loved as a kid. It’s no Breaker High, but it’s still pretty great to rewatch. God, Jessica really was an absolute bitch.
Some other things that I’ve rewatched: Con Air (practically a perfect movie, will always love, *Nic Cage forever* might be the only tattoo I’d ever get), Supermarket Sweep is on American Netflix and I was so excited (for about three episodes) then I moved on with my life, Sleepless in Seattle (still a very nice, average, reliable movie), Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (actually a really great summer movie, will always be a fun time to watch, will forever be a huge Keanu fan, I just feel like I could trust him??), and Dick Tracy (will always love this movie even if it has eight million too many montages, the set design is gorgeous, and this one outfit that Madonna wears makes me question… everything).
Some new movies that I’ve watched: Always Be My Maybe (so, so great! How did it take me so long to see this! So many good scenes, such a good movie), The Karate Kid (insane that I hadn’t seen it before, kids were uncomfortably mean in the 80s, favourite part was when Mr. Miyagi beats up the children, great movie), The Stepfather (pretty fun time, so happy we’ve starting watching horror movies again), Eat Pray Love (ugh, I don’t know, I do love movies about women just leaving and doing fun shit alone and abandoning their lives, but this was pretty lame, I hated James Franco’s character more than life and truly didn’t understand how Julia Roberts was even briefly into him), and finally the original The Hills Have Eyes (which I loved weirdly enough despite being incredibly tense the entire movie, I just thought it was so well done and scary and incredible, the rape scene is of course awful and I shut my eyes for that part, but that was the only thing I hated, it doesn’t make sense that I liked this movie so much).
I don’t know how to word this, but something is off with the reasonably priced (and almost too cheap) parmesan sold at Trader Joe’s. It melts weird. It doesn’t taste like normal cheese. Something is afoot and I won’t buy it any longer. I’m truly dreading and equally anticipating the day that all of Trader Joe’s secrets are exposed. Be warned.
That being said, obviously I’m in love with the seasonal summer candles that TJ just released. We have a complicated relationship.
Trader Joe summer candle trio, 2020
I made this gruyere mac and cheese with caramelized onions (I used almond milk and it still came out good) and can every recipe just include caramelized onions? The world is ending, let’s just put sweet, tiny, brown onions on everything and call it a day.
I have to remember that Essie’s vibrant colours just f-ing suck. Only their muted/bland colours are good. They should really just stick to those. And if you’re looking for loud colours that stand out, the summer collection at Urban Outfitters is my go-to (and there’s always a 3 for $10 sale with them).
I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and so far my favourites are definitely: the 1 and this is me trying.
I’ve been thinking about cancelling my Ipsy subscription again (because I think I don’t care about makeup at this current moment in time) and when I logged on to cancel, they let me choose one of the items being sent next month as if they knew I wanted to leave! So I chose a Sunday Riley product (because any sample I’ve tried from them, I’ve loved) so maybe I’ll cancel next month?
I tried a sample of Drunk Elephant’s shampoo & conditioner (which smelled so lovely) and my hair did seem softer the next day. There’s something about this brand though, I feel like they might be tricking us with their beautiful packaging and minimalist persona.
I bought and tried the ancient Biore Strips and I have absolutely no idea if they did what they’re supposed to do. Are you supposed to see the blackheads or whiteheads come off onto the strip? It felt like it just tried to peel my face off. No idea what’s going on with these.
I have been in love with the Peter Thomas Roth Correction Pads, I use one pad before bed each night and I think they’re doing something good because I always wake up with no new pimples. It has even started erasing all of the redness I’ve been experiencing lately from the summer heat and sweat and mask-wearing. At this point, I can definitely see myself rebuying when I run out, and if I do then I’ll definitely not get them from Sephora because you can get them way cheaper at other online retailers.
I’ve also started using this Dr. Dennis Gross All-In-One face cleanser and I think it’s a good one. It’s hard to tell because I started using it the same day at the correction pads I mentioned above (yes that was a bad idea but here we are), so maybe they’re working together to make my face good? We’ll revisit this.
I finally opened up this Belif set I bought a few months ago and it’s really nothing special. I think the face cream is probably the best item in there because you truly don’t need to use a lot to feel moisturized. But the face cleanser? Meh. I don’t think it does very much, it definitely didn’t help any redness. And the toner? Don’t get me started on how I kind of think toner might be a scam. And the “eye moisturizer”? Seems superfluous. My eye area is plenty moist, thanks.
Perfect summer soap scent: Fresh Rainfall. If I can’t travel this year, I will escape into this scent. (Send help.)
So I heard that Lady M now ships their cakes to Canada and I was able to scream in excitement for approx. four seconds before looking into it and seeing that it’ll cost you over $100 to get ONE cake sent. THE GALL, I tell you. THE GALL.
I briefly looked into the app Sweatcoin after hearing good things, but it really just seems like an app where its main goal is to track you. And yes, your phone already does that whether you’re aware or not, but I think I’ll pass on the extra tracking.
I heard that the upcoming Halloween Bob’s Burgers episode will “follow the kids as they try to deliver a burger to the hotel on their street.” It’s such a sad little bit of tiny information, but I love their seasonal episodes so much that I’ll take any crumbs available.
Christ, why do I keep forgetting that Bareburger is absolutely nothing special? Why in the good fuck is it taking so long for a Shake Shack to come to Astoria?!
I ate on the patio at Hoja Santa in Astoria and the tacos were nothing to write home about. The service, drinks and chips were outstanding though, so I may have just ordered badly.
I refer to myself as dark skinned and people are like “wtf no you’re not” I refer to myself as light skinned and people are like “lmfaooo this bitch is delusional” so from here on out I will simply be referring to myself as....skinned
Hey, I think President Trump is on to something with this idea of limiting COVID infections by not testing as much. Who knew the secret for staying forever young was as simple as not celebrating your birthday?
small dog slander makes me sad. Of course they’re “yappy,” they have tiny bodies, it’s not a personality trait. They also have teeny tiny paws to put on your leg when you are sad
I woke up with a small, specific sadness: I miss being on a trip with family or friends and waking up to the murmuring sound of other people, already awake, having a conversation in the kitchen in the morning.
i remember my ex got mad at me bc i once tweeted i wanted to cuddle with shia labeouf, lmaooo like every argument we had he would be like “why don’t u go fuck shia” like bro i would if i could 😭
Has everyone stopped to meditate on the fact that an 87-year-old woman on chemo has to keep working full-time, full-force, because she's quite literally the only thing stopping the country's full slide into fascism?
Can’t keep 900 baseball players safe with almost unlimited resources but sure we can protect millions of kids jammed into schools where teachers have to raise money on GoFundMe for like pencils and shit.
My dog decided it was time to go to bed about twenty minutes ago. Off he went. I stayed on the couch, ya know, as is my right. I’ll me damned if he didn’t just walk back in here and look at me like “did I stutter? It is time for us to go TO BED.” Welp, good night, y’all.
I tried Thai iced coffee and it was so wildly sweet and too aromatic, I probably wouldn’t get it again. And I also tried a Vietnamese iced coffee and it was the perfect level of sweet! What’s the difference between the two, you ask?
I finally tried the katsu sandwich at Hi-Collar as takeout in the East Village and it was absolutely nothing special. No idea why people are so into it.
I haven’t been to Bite in so many months, so it was nice to get takeout earlier this week. God how I’ve missed their ciabatta bread. They use it on their sandwiches and it comes from Balthazar each morning and it’s always heavenly.
I tried a grapefruit shandy and holy shit, it might be my favourite new summer drink.
I ate on the patio at L’Artusi since it just reopened and good god, that carbonara will change you. So psyched to see they have the wagyu steak tartare on the menu now, too. The burger, the panzanella salad and the charred corn were all great, but that carbonara was the standout.
Yeah, I’m NOT gonna get a Manhattan??
Carbonara heaven, 'L’Artusi
L’Burger with roasted potatoes at L’Artusi
Sweet Irene!
Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d love to try this tomato toast with blue cheese mayo, I’m going to start using a new clothes steamer I just bought with the hopes of getting rid of my iron & ironing board, I rebought a tube of Revitalash because of how great my lashes were looking when I used it a few years ago so I’ll start using it on August 1st and track my progress to prove how great this product is, I can’t wait for Moesha to be coming to Netflix this month, and I am waiting waiting waiting until I can find time to return to Lilia (on the patio) to eat this incredible tomato focaccia & garlic butter (shown below).
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in June over here.
Can someone just hit me in the face hard enough so that I wake up in 2021? As a favour to me? (Also I love that we’re all assuming that a new year means a completely fresh new slate and that none of the actions taken this year will affect the rest of our lives? It’s ridiculous, but it’s a type of logic that I can absolutely get on board with.) In any case, life is hell right now. Here’s what went on in hell this month.
I started doing Ipsy bag reviews again. The best find from the bag this month: a REALHER lipstick. Just amazing quality and I need to look further into their other products.
I tried hard seltzer (not White Claw, it was a brand called HOOT) and it was very okay, I just don’t see the big deal? I think we all have low standards for things being good.
God, I miss Jon Stewart. I find myself just watching old segments from his show which are sadly still incredibly relevant.
I visited this coffee shop in Astoria called Coffee + Cake that’s so lovely. They make freshly baked goods each day and homemade ice cream and I’ll definitely return. This is their tomato & parmesan focaccia bread.
I tried to eat the black stem for some reason too?? Not my smartest idea.
I started taking antihistamine eye drops for seasonal allergies and they’ve cured me completely. It’s insane. I love them.
I tried birthday cake Kit Kats because why wouldn’t I and of course they’re good. But they’re basically just… white Kit Kats… and that’s already a thing that exists… and look I’m not trying to hate on them, so I’ll keep my mouth shut about it from here on out.
If I became famous, the first thing I’d endorse would be Vicks (obviously), but the second thing? This dairy-free, almond milk yogurt DAH! Yes, the name is terrible. But the yogurt is heavenly. The madagascar vanilla will change you.
Finally made this ricotta jam jar with crostini and it was everything I wanted it to be and more.
I’ve been keeping a collection of photos taken of the city throughout the pandemic that are just gorgeous photos, here are a few.
April 2020, photo by Jerome Strauss
March 12th, 2020, the first night of Broadway going dark - photo by Gretchen Robinette for Gothamist
June 2020, photo by Benjamin Norman for The New York Times
April 2020, photo by Jerome Strauss
April 2020, photo by Jerome Strauss
I watched the Holy Chicken! documentary from the Super Size Me guy and it was okay. I did know a lot of those chicken facts already since we haven’t been eating meat these last few months, so it wasn’t anything revolutionary. And then after I watched it, I was reading about it and then came across all the gross behavior by the creator of the film and uggghhhh I wish I hadn’t watched and supported it now.
I tried this New Orleans cold brew and whoa. Good stuff. I don’t exactly know the difference between cold brew and coffee and it’s such a boring thing to look up, so… here we are.
Will forever love the food at The Thirsty Koala in Astoria. Thank you Katie, Greg & Irene for gifting us so much of their food this month! Truly so sweet of you.
Favourite tweets of the month.
They criminalize the homeless so that they don’t have to house them. They criminalize drug addicts so that they don’t have to address substance abuse as a public health problem. They criminalize the poor so that they don’t have to address wealth inequality.
— antifa’s bus driver (@Lwrathofkhan) June 6, 2020
Nothing more insulting than your dog walking into the room you're in, looking around and then leaving.
The US has tried to get rid of covid the way I try to get abs - I try really hard for a couple months then I get annoyed that it’s taking so long and decide abs aren’t real.
Remember when Pizza Hut pan pizzas were basically a goddamn culinary delicacy? They’d bring them out in a real fucking skillet that was piping at about 700 degrees Fahrenheit right as your third song kicked in on the jukebox after you’d played a game of Galaga. We were kings. pic.twitter.com/G7dQBRd3qQ
Imagine someone u love is fast asleep in bed after a long day of working to help others. Imagine that while she is asleep armed strangers break down her door & shoot her in her bed 8 times. If this was ur daughter or sister, u would want justice. #BreonnaTalyor deserves the same.
not everyone who has been sexually assaulted immediately recognizes that is what happened to them. it can take days or weeks or even years for someone to realize what happened to them was not okay. believe victims rather than questioning why it took so long for them to speak up.
My conspiracy theory is that time travel IS real & someone keeps trying to fix 2020 by changing something but every time they do, they unwittingly make it worse. How else do you explain the sudden disappearance of murder hornets? They saved us from those but at what cost?!?!
I bought a ton of underwear from Aerie since I don’t feel comfortable going into any stores or on the subway yet, and they’re actually pretty great quality (I’m sorry I didn’t get on this sooner, Marla.) The sizing is a little off in that one medium doesn’t fit like another medium, but once you figure it out, you’re good.
I learned how to make vodka martinis at home, so what I’m trying to say is that I’m better than you now.
Truly don’t know how I feel about this news, but I think I have to support it, right? I wish we could just leave good things alone. Why must we always want more.
I watched The Joy Luck Club and here’s my takeaway: don’t have daughters. And also maybe don’t have mothers? It seems like everyone is a disappointment to every character in this movie. I was expecting to love it, so when that didn’t happen I was a little disappointed.
I watched Dan In Real Life (mainly because of Steve Carell who was way too good for this movie) and it suuuuucked. Hated Dane Cook. Hated the plot. Hated the whole white, rich, we-dance-as-a-family type aesthetic of the whole movie.
I watched the first season of You and a few episodes of the second season and uuuuuuuggggghhhhhh what a garbage show. I don’t need to see anyone romanticize some pathetic Gossip Girl loser who I feel no empathy for. It’s actually just so badly written and how on earth did someone green-light this trash. Here’s a good piece written about it.
Also watched a bunch of reruns of 3rd Rock From The Sun and what an underrated, great show. Wish I remembered it more.
I’ve been on a real Harrison Ford bender lately and I can’t see it stopping anytime soon. I watched Sabrina (which was okay, the best part was seeing him play a nerdish, unlovable character). I also watched Working Girl (which is really not a great movie, but it was only watchable for Ford). Also saw Air Force One and what a movie. How on earth have I never seen it before?? Such a fox. If you haven’t seen it before, I shall entice you with this one line:
Rainier cherries are in season now and while I don’t particularly love a cherry, these are delightful.
I’ve been sucking down these Saratoga Springs sparkling waters for days and there’s no turning back, they’re refreshing in a way I didn’t think existed. Just pure magic.
The only summer salad that’s worth a damn is this panzanella salad, but make sure you add fresh mozzarella to it.
I never thought I liked biscotti until a friend recently made it, so maybe I’m just into chocolate biscotti?
I started watching Insecure but couldn’t really get into it, maybe I’ll give it more of a chance, maybe not. I feel like if you’re not hooked into a show within three episodes, it’s not gonna happen.
I rewatched Clueless and it’s really just a perfect movie. I could quote every line in this movie at one point in my life and I think I might still be able to. Still looking to emulate this perfect outfit one day.
Cannot stop making this broccoli pasta with Banza and the Beyond Meat sausage.
I finished watching Fuller House and I’ll never know why I wanted to, it’s such a corny/actually-bad show and yet I still watched. Thankfully it’s over forever.
Incase you’re looking for an alternative site to Amazon for buying books: Bookshop.org
It’s been a harder month than normal and I found myself watching The Land Before Time and uncontrollably weeping onto my yoga mat (I like to watch movies in the background when I’m working out). A kind of cry that comes around every decade or so where you can’t really breathe and you’re blinded my tears and everything is too much to handle. I know it’s a sad movie, but I think it was the movie and the combination of this month that made me react that way. In any case, I hope kids today still want to watch that movie. It’s a hard one, but it’s really still so good.
My grandmother Ma passed away this month and since travel is not allowed, it was especially difficult for this to happen now. I felt helpless being separated from most of my family so I wrote a bit about how it made me feel. I could talk about the greatness of this woman endlessly, how it’s insane that you could live in this day and age and not read or write and still enrich the lives of everyone you know, there’s no way to sum her up as a person. I’ll just miss her. Her voice, her endless encouragement, all of it.
Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d like to not sink into an unending pit of depression (that’d be great), I’d like to keep going on our nightly walks with Nathan, I’m likely going to buy these bike shorts as soon as they’re back in stock and you can’t stop me (I already have an outfit in mind, trust me it’s gonna look good), I was looking forward to movie theatres reopening (the Regal near our house specifically) but the date’s been pushed again to the end of July (which will likely get pushed again), and I’d really like to start and finish another book this month.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in May over here.
