$8 happy hour martinis at Kaia Wine Bar on the Upper East Side.
EATING
I finally had a birria taco (I know, I’m never on time with food trends) with Paul and wow. Insanely good. Obviously everything is better with an au jus sauce.
Birria and duck tacos at Kaia Wine Bar, NYC
EXPERIENCING
The awfulness of Rolf’s Christmas-decorated restaurant in the city. I made a reservation six weeks ago and yes the place is beautiful, but that’s literally the only pro. Cons include: not being told ahead of time that every person is required to order an entree, cocktails were outrageously priced ($26 for basically anything alcoholic and $6 for seltzer), service was super rushed/rude, drink glasses had lipstick on them, space is so cramped and the menu was basic as hell.
Rolf’s (it has to be this beautiful to offset the insane prices), NYC
LISTENING
I’ve started playing my old iPod shuffle on my stereo when I get ready to go out and why the hell did I ever stop this ritual? Everyone should be doing this.
I found a12 Days of Christmas Bonne Maman jam assortment at Costco for $15.99 that I had to buy immediately. I’m not even that into jam (??) and yet my first reflex was to grab one.
Wore my green feathered coat for the second time and I feel so indestructible in this piece of clothing, is this why famous people have such confidence on red carpets? Good clothing makes you think you’re better than everyone? I think I just cracked the code. Or wait, did everyone but me already know this… oh no.
I’m really hoping that May is a more uplifting month than the last two months combined, I need it to be. We’re still staying at home and doing the best we can, but there have been so many things cancelled lately and I really just want to look forward to something. Here’s what went down this month.
I watched the first season of Dave on FX and wow. Just wow. It’s such a good show and I’m so glad I listened to my brother Robbie and watched it. Ten episodes. Each better than the last.
I also watched the new Mindy Kaling creation on Netflix, Never Have I Ever, and it was as good as I hoped it would be and more. Again, there are only ten episodes and I wish there were more. Also, the soundtrack is killer, seeforyourself, bud.
If you are looking for an uncomplicated curry recipe to make, this is the perfect one (I used green beans instead of snap peas and it was still great).
As parts of your life slip beyond your reach, know those parts don’t define you. You aren't your work. You aren't what you own or where you live. You aren't even your relationships. Don’t think for a minute that your you-ness has slipped away, too. You’re right here. Keep moving.
I just got an email from a woman I’m going to work with in the fall and she signed off with “I look forward me meeting you. I look forward to meeting anybody.” lol
Tip: never get tomato paste in a can. Tastes so tinny! Did everyone else already know this?
I tried Hal’s New York Seltzer water in the COLA flavour and HOLY CHRIST. Tastes exactly like Coke. It’s fucking wild. Shoulda bought ten of them but when I went back they were all gone. Like a mirage.
Is it abnormal to share a photo of a gorgeous woman? ‘Cause I saw this photo of Lili Reinhart (from Riverdale) and my jaw dropped, so gorgeous.
I mean, wow.
I finally finished this season of Curb and the last two episodes were probably the best. There were definitely cringey parts in a few episodes this season, but overall it was pretty good. I really think Larry David is probably just an asshole who happens to be funny sometimes, just my impression.
I’ve been burned so many times, but I’m never buying Barilla pasta again. Their no-boil lasagna sheets no-joke look like recycled sandpaper and taste like ASS. Never again. Also, I think I’m against no-boil lasagna sheets. Just boil some sheets! What’s the big deal! You’re not busy!
And speaking of lasagna, I’ve made this mushroom spinach lasagna three times this month and it’s heavenly. The only thing I do differently is that I use a food processor to grind up the mushrooms so they’re almost like a paste. Tastes incredible. It tastes better when it’s reheated the next day, too. Lasagna lunch? Get out of here, best day of the week.
These blueberry breakfast cookies are now officially in the recipe rotation since I’m about to make them for the third time. They taste better after being chilled, in my opinion. And not to be pornographic, but a blueberry bursting in your mouth? Yes, please.
I just tried this bath soak and it’s made me want to create a bath basket for myself, which is basically just a basket full of bath shit like Epsom salts, bath oils, bubble bath, bath bombs, etc. Future me is gonna be relaxed as fuck.
Love reading what people want to eat out when life is back on again. If you don’t think I already have a list going, THINK AGAIN. I’ll post it when better days are near.
I made this cauliflower bolognese and look, it was good but I’ll never make it again because it took WAY too long for what you’re ultimately getting. It’s not a bolognese. Nothing meatless should be allowed to be called a bolognese, it’s unjust.
I watched The Phantom of the Opera for the 11th (??) time when it streamed for free a few weeks ago and it was, as always, magical. I maintain that Colm Wilkinson was the very best phantom there ever was. (P.S. I will always love these types of videos, below.)
I did a Zoom call with my whole family and we played games on jackbox.tv and it was actually really fun. Might become a standing Sunday morning activity.
When I’m not crying or drinking or taking a bath, I like to do beauty masks. But here’s the thing: I think all hair masks are a scam. How can you tell that they’ve DONE anything to your hair? Don’t you think that some charlatan could easily just put some basic-ass conditioner into a tiny disposable package and label it as some hair rejuvenating miracle? And while we’re here, it’s 100% likely that face masks are bullshit too. We’re being bamboozled and at this point I can’t even care about it because it’s genius. I’ll keep buying them and they’ll continue to do nothing.
I tried a sample of Dr. Dennis Gross’s face serum and whoa. I love the idea of using a serum right after washing your face, so I just bought a reward-sized sample of this Drunk Elephant serum (it’s on its way) that’ll hopefully feel somewhat similar.
I rewatched some of Master of None and it remains great.
Other still-great things that I also rewatched: Arlington Road & House of Sand and Fog.
I made the Dalgona coffee that everyone’s been making, but I didn’t put it on top of milk (that sounded gross). I put it on top of iced coffee for, like, some kind of super coffee. It was really good. I was jacked for hours. (And I haven’t tried it, but this Dalgona frosted chocolate cake looks nuts.)
I rewatched most of Community and I truly forgot what a great show that was. The first three seasons, I mean. MAYBE four. Best episodes: the missing pen one, the chaos theory one, love the Halloween ones, and the video game one is great. I will continue to hate musical episodes of any show, why do they do it? Who is it for? I’ve never heard one person say that they loved when a regular show did a musical episode. END THIS NONSENSE.
So I attempted to make the Asiago Chicken Bowtie Pasta from Jack Astor’s from this copycat recipe, and even though it reeeeally doesn’t taste the same, it’s still a decent recipe. It also tastes way better reheated the next day.
I made these chocolate chip cookies and they were very good. Not a super complicated recipe either, which is always a plus.
Tip: you shouldn’t just plop shampoo on the top of your head and then start rubbing it in (this leads to flat hair). You should rub it in right above the top of your neck and then work it in from there, it gets way more lathered up quicker this way. Please try it for yourself.
I finally tried the Canyon Creek caesar salad dressing recipe that I got from a waiter there years ago AND IT IS PERFECT. I feel weird posting it publicly, but if you love that salad and want to make it at home, I’ll absolutely send it to you if you ask.
Made this halloumi hummus bowl and it was really, really good. Love pearled couscous, love grilled halloumi.
Halloumi hummus bowl
Nathan and I watched Monkey Shine on Pluto and holy shit what a fun movie. Brief plot: It’s about a young athlete who becomes a paralyzed quadriplegic, and develops a bond with an intelligent service monkey named "Ella" who becomes homicidal after she is injected with an experimental serum of human brain tissue. HOW COULD THIS NOT BE AMAZING? It’s not going to sound funny now, but there’s this montage of the monkey doing all sorts of things for the man and then she puts this burrito-thing in the machine holder for him to eat and Nathan said something like, “Here… comes… PITA!” like she was gonna launch it to his mouth and I fucking died laughing. Truly just a fun movie.
Some things that I’d like to do this month: make this burrata mushroom lasagna, I’d love to try this caesar recipe, I intend to finally review last month’s Ipsy bag that I’ve been putting off forever for no good reason, and I’ll likely rewatch the old Cannonball Run movies because I really want to. BIG PLANS.
Also, don’t forget about Mother’s Day on the 10th. Just a reminder. If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in March over here.
Happy Canada Day! Here’s what went down last month.
I finally started taking collagen powder and I really think it’s working (thanks for the tip, Harmeet!) because my nails are longer than ever and my hair seems more luscious? I could just be feeling myself on the hair, though. Hard to tell for sure.
I made the mushroom garganelli pasta that I dream about from L’Artusi and it was phenomenal. The mushroom ragu tastes EXACTLY like it could be a meat sauce. Even Nathan agreed that it was amazing and he hates mushrooms. Makes zero sense. This dish is witchcraft.
Saw Late Night, and while I will always support that vision of a woman, the movie was only okay. Very specific opinion, but I wish Cate Blanchett had played the main character.
Speaking of Mindy, look at this gorgeous, perfect outfit.
Remember those flavoured powders for popcorn that were popular a few years ago? How have I never thought of making a homemade dill topping for at-home popcorn?! HOW?! Such a good idea.
Watched the Black Mirror episode Striking Vipers and loved it, I don’t want to even watch the other two new ones because how could they possibly be better than that one. (Also, are we really calling three episodes a season? Get real.)
I have made Ina Garten’s rigatoni with sausage & fennel so many times this month and I’m still not sick of it, such a crazy good pasta. Especially if you’re trying to impress someone.
IDEA: Turn burger buns into garlic bread, THEN eat as part of a burger.
I don’t know why but I finished The Big Bang Theory. I know, it’s embarrassing to admit. It was not a good show!
‘NOTHER IDEA: Clean your Apple headphones with toothpicks! Totally didn’t know you could do this. And if you haven’t, you really should. Some nasty stuff gets up in there. It’s pretty satisfying to clean, too. Just do it in private.
Tried the (super tiny) burger at Whit’s End in Rockaway and yes it was good, but WHERE WAS THE REST OF IT?!
I should’ve put a quarter next to it for scale
I rewatched Waiting To Exhale (I think I saw it when I was a kid) and man, that movie holds up. So, so good.
So in love with this brand. I don’t love the phrase Toronto VS. Everybody, but if they make a Mississauga one? WATCH OUT.
Gotta be honest, kinda excited to see the glaze waterfall. You know what makes Krispy Kreme better than most donuts? Not a lot of doughiness inside. The best kind of donut showcases the outside coating. A KK donut is all outside coating. It’s practically hollow on the inside. This is the secret. I could go on about this, but I’ve already said too much.
Completely forgot about the show You Wish, which I can’t stop watching. Summertime sadness?
Saw the new Child’s Play as well as the old one. Obviously the old one is better, but the new one really isn’t that bad. Human murderers are always better than robot murderers.
Everyone should make this panzanella salad. It is profoundly good. I added fresh mozzarella to it and it only got better. I didn’t even add the avocado OR corn and still licked the bowl.
SUCH a good fish recipe. And these are hard to come by. Or maybe it was just the sauce. A good sauce can trick you sometimes.
Salmon with dill sauce
Saw Ma in theatres and you know what it really wasn’t bad, whatever anyone tells you. I think I’d classify it as wacky as hell.
This is honestly the best egg salad I’ve ever had. It’s definitely due to the addition of dill pickle juice (fucking nuts for dill this month) and the elimination of celery.
Found maybe the best poutine in this country at The Astorian in Queens.
Check those fuckin’ curds
I started using Benefit’s Mini Gimme Brow and it’s cool?? Honestly, I don’t even know. Sometimes I think I need another, smarter woman to just sit me down and tell me what’s good and what’s not. This is supposed to help make thin eyebrows look bushy, right? If that is actually its intent, then it’s doing its job correctly.
All right, look. You KNOW that I hate having opinions on celebrities (ie. people NONE OF US KNOW), but I’m putting a hold on that for a sec. Here’s who I hated this month: Amber Rose (or anyone repping any fucking laxative tea), Bernie Sanders (the arrogance that comes off of this man… I can’t stand it, he doesn’t have all of the answers, can we please stop acting like he’s some sort of savior), and Chris Brown. How is Chris Brown still someone people are in love with? How are people still okay with him? MAN BEATS PEOPLE. For fuck sake.
Never had Georgian food before but it’s pretty much just bread and cheese and I’m 100% fine with that, culturally speaking.
I will never make all of her recipes, but a third cookbook very much excites me.
It’s taken me years to understand that Modern Family just isn’t good. There are two good characters. That’s it, that’s the trick they’re playing on us all.
And that was June! Some things I’d like to do this month: visit Profundo Day Club for the rooftop pool, find some humidity-proof houseplants (recommendations welcome), spend some time in Coney Island, try to see Crawl and maybe make some fun food for the 4th of July.
