I love Octobers but I’m grateful to be moving on to the holiday season. Halloween was so good this year. I used a fog machine (it’ll now have to be a staple each year) and a bluetooth speaker that played horror movie soundtracks and it was. the. best. Here’s what else went on last month.
You might think you’re better than fake tattoos, I assure you that you’re not
I hadn’t had a DQ cake in years, so I bought one and it remains as good as ever.
I don’t love donuts (too doughy), but a holiday themed donut? Obviously I'll get those.
Thanksgiving donuts from Sanremo’s in Etobicoke, Ontario
Thanksgiving was really great, if not a little quieter this year. The next-day sandwich was one for the books. (If I started a business that solely made these sandwiches and just tried out new versions each month, could that work? Call it Turkey Time? Patent pending.)
Thanksgiving dinner
Thanksgiving sandwich
Went to Downey’s for their pumpkin donuts (for a donut hater, I buy an alarming amount) and got this apple pie flavoured milk. It was a bit gross, but you have to try new seasonal items. It’s law.
Apple pie milk
Took my parents on an autumn drive through Belfountain and our car broke down in the middle of nowhere! It was exciting.
Where the car broke down
I went to Ottawa for the first time! The drive was intensely beautiful. My dumbass didn’t realize how close Quebec was, otherwise I would’ve made sure to get a poutine across the water. Next time.
Baby Dog in Ottawa!
Parliament Hill, Ottawa
Ottawa, Ontario
Ottawa, Ontario
Stopped at The Big Apple on the way back and just wow. I’d never been there before, so I loved it.
The Big Apple in Ontario
I bought a few new pairs of bootcut jeans (I know, pretty cool) and had them all tailored. They fit perfectly. I will tailor my pants for the rest of my life now.
October sunrises >>
How is this real
Some things I watched:
Nobody Wants This: other than some really bad dialogue, I’d definitely watch season two.
English Teacher: best new show on TV, hands down.
Only Murders in the Building: good season, not great. Martin Short will be the main reason I keep watching.
The Blair Witch Project: I got my niece Maya to watch it and she loved it. A perfect horror movie.
The Return of the Living Dead: okay, it’s obviously bad but fun bad.
The Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode this year was awful?? What the hell?
I’ve been on a real Twilight Zone binge and this quote, “As long as there are men, there cannot be peace.” PREACH.
Some things I’m looking forward to this month: good god, I don’t even know. The election is today so… let’s just wait and see what happens before I look forward to anything.
“How beautiful the leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.”
— John Burroughs
The absolute best time of the year has officially begun, the start of the three equally best seasons. Here are a few of the things I’d love to do this fall.
I didn’t want to go overboard with my list this year because I don’t want to feel overwhelmed, I just want to enjoy the season as much as possible without having a laundry list of things that must be done. Of course there are some other things that I’m planning, but those are surprises for later on. Some other small things that I do each autumn? I’ll break out the warmer comforter for the bed soon. Costume planning is well underway. I’ll unpack and display all of our autumn/Halloween stuff this week. I’m definitely going to make these leftover stuffing muffins. Of course I’ll get Milk Bar’s Thanksgiving croissant when it’s available in November. Oh, and I definitely want to make this leftover sandwich again.
As always, I encourage you to come up with an autumn list of your own, you’re not that busy.
Wonderful, another month has come and gone. It’s hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood these days. I feel like all of my moods are sprinkled with bits of sadness since it’s been such a rough year on everyone. It seems hard to be hopeful and optimistic for the coming months because of everything that has gone on already, but I think I’ll continue on with my internal mantra of “fake it ‘til you make it” - that’s healthy, right? In any case, here’s what happened last month:
I usually don’t mention the things that I don’t do, but this one is notable: I didn’t have the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar this year (because I’m in Canada at the moment). So this is really just a reminder to myself to go hog-wild on them next November.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned them before, but the ready-made roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke? A PERFECT SANDWICH.
I rewatched the original (better) Jumanji and goddamit what a great movie. How did I forget what a perfect movie that was? Miss Robin Williams so much. Which reminds me: I gotta rewatch Jack soon (Coppola’s greatest movie, in my humble opinion). Haven’t seen that one in ages.
Love the new “Oat Milk Latte” nail polish colour at Urban Outfitters. Something about a boring neutral has been really turning me on lately.
The best new hand lotion I’ve used in a long time: this Kiehl’s Hand Salve. I put it on once in the morning and once before bed and it’s crazy how soft it makes them, even if you wash your hands numerous times a day (which, god, I hope you’re doing).
I know that I tend to live in the past at times, but are you ever needing to print some photos fast and don’t know where to get it done? Years ago, they had machines at Shoppers and then they disappeared. And I just discovered that Staples has those print-right-now machines! It takes seconds to print from your phone and it’s crazy cheap. I think you can only get 4 x 6 in size, but still. That’s great!
I’ll always love Cobs Bread (thanks to Marla years ago for introducing me) but I just tried their garlic focaccia and my god. Heavenly. It also makes a great base for any kind of at-home grilled cheese or even an at-home garlic bread using garlic butter.
So I tried the Popeye’s chicken sandwich that people were stabbing each other for and… I fully understand the murdering mentality. It’s an incredible chicken sandwich. I was expecting not to understand the hype, but here I stand before you, four chicken sandwiches deep.
I’ve been consistently using the Luna Night Oil from Sunday Riley (a small version that came with a gift set) and I think it’s really working well. My skin looks amazing in the morning after each use. So I might bite the bullet and buy the full size when I run out.
Just so sad to see this man pass away.
And I can’t forget this great one, too.
I simply cannot stop ordering the vegetable fried rice from Fortune Dragon in Mississauga. Can’t and WON’T.
I had such a terrible experience using Skip The Dishes the other night (there was a problem with an order and the restaurant refused to fix the problem and I was on the phone with STD (hahah, can we all call them this from now on PLEASE) for over an hour, just disgusting). So now they’re banned in our house.
And speaking of annoying food experiences, Scaddabush got rid of the best sandwich on their menu. What. the. hell. It was a prosciutto cotto grilled cheese with Italian cured ham, caramelized onions, mozzarella, and fig jam on a focaccia bun and IT IS NO MORE. I did attempt to make it at home one night and it was actually really good, but still. Who wants to spend their evenings caramelizing onions for hours in the kitchen? Well, I do, for one. But regardless! Bad move, Scaddabush.
If you’re looking for a dog groomer in Mississauga, I can’t say enough good things about You Lucky Dog Grooming. They cut Baby Dog’s nails perfectly for $10 and it took less than five minutes. They were so gentle and caring, definitely only gonna go here from now on.
There were a few massive holes in the ceiling in my parents basement (an estimate said it would be $1000 to fix) so I went to Home Depot, got the supplies and did it myself. This is something I would never even want to do, let alone actually do, so the fact that it’s fixed now is insane. Here's what it looked like.
This whole job cost $17 from Home Depot. Nothing is impossible.
Yes, I love them. Yes, they look perfect every single day and that’s amazing. But no one tells you the cons, so let me tell you what they are.
Pressing buttons is an annoyance. The buttons of debit machines especially (I’ve incorrectly put in my pin about three times so far), but also remote controls and car radio dials.
Peeling onions or garlic. Or cutting anything on a cutting board in the kitchen, basically.
You know after a shower when you towel off the wet parts of the inside of your ears? Can’t be done.
All zippers and buttons add at least five minutes to your life.
Look, I’m not an animal but sometimes your nose needs a little cleaning when a tissue ain’t gonna cut it. That being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick your nose with these.
Typing at your regular speed.
Peeling clementines is simply out of the question (which is annoying because they’re so in season right now).
Putting on and taking off necklaces.
And most of all, yes you can still scratch parts of your body, but it’s an unfulfilling scratch. These nails aren’t as sharp as my real ones, so the scratch is lackluster.
That being said, I do love them. I’m not sure if I’ll get them again, but they’re beautiful and I can definitely see the appeal.
I watched a few episodes of Somebody Feed Phil with my brother Robbie and it’s a pretty cute show. I only watched the New York, New Orleans, Venice & San Francisco episodes, but I’m sure I’ll watch the rest soon. I think I liked it because the host really lets the guests be the charming, endearing ones, and most TV hosts aren’t very good at that.
So since we missed both Thanksgivings this year, we picked a random day to do our turkey dinner and this year I did the rub for the bird (Mom handled all the gross stuff) and it came out amazing! Also made my favourite salad dressing (love a shallot in a dressing), this perfect cranberry sauce and best garlic bread. And instead of a whole pie, we just got mini pumpkin tarts from Whole Foods. The next day, I finally made the moist maker sandwich (from Friends) and it turned out really well.
Turkey a la Liz
The leftover sandwich, the next day
Best tweets of the month ahead:
men be like ”I love a girl with confidence” and then destroys it
I see tweets like, “Dems are winning, act like it!” What these fail to take into account is the country’s on the verge of breaking up with an abuser. We’ve been bombarded, traumatized for 4 years. The joy of being out is tempered by uncertainty over whether it’s really over.
Good morning! If you only look at one map today, make it this one. This is what red/blue states really look like. Land doesn't vote. People do. #ElectionResults2020pic.twitter.com/dfpl4N2MLq
Someone wanna tell me why this (perfect) baby can talk on the phone in Japanese better than me even though I've been doing it longer!! 😭🥰 pic.twitter.com/gRVTWBgg2u
I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium. pic.twitter.com/P45HV1daD9
My wife was driving us home and said “the sky is so beautiful.” I pointed to a weird old man on the street and said “this guy?” Anyway if you were in the car you would’ve laughed.
i think society won't be satisfied with BEFORE & AFTER weight loss pictures until there's a woman on the left side & just an empty pile of clothes on the ground on the right side WOW WHAT'S HER SECRET?!
In college I have discovered that I actually have a passion for nothing. My dream job is no job and a mansion by the sea with lots of windows. Manifesting xoxo ✨
Let's be clear: Dolly Parton is a millionaire and not a billionaire because she *keeps giving money away*. Being a billionaire is a MORAL FAILING. She gives away shockingly large amounts of money every year and is STILL RICHER THAN YOU AND I WILL EVER BE.
— Jerome Comeau is social-media-distancing (@Heronymus) November 17, 2020
bring back landlines i wanna be on my phone while i’m on the phone
Truly one of the worst publishing decisions in a year of particularly bad decisions was allowing Cuomo to put out a book about how he solved COVID-19 for NY.
One thing no one ever talks about being an adult is how much time you debate yourself on keeping a cardboard box because it's, like, a really good box.
This is Khan. He’s the sneakiest shoe stealer on the planet. Has never ever been caught... until now. 14/10 (IG: khantheweenie) pic.twitter.com/qyAQzDWuju
It’s fuckin wild how the solution is as simple as “just pay places to be closed and pay people to stay home” and that’s been the solution this whole time and the government is just like “nah”
Pretty incredible that homelessness isn’t even a mainstream political issue at all. Neither party gives a shit. We could solve it tomorrow and wouldn’t even miss the money but there’s no profit in that so it’s not a possibility. One of the most glaring US human rights atrocities.
capitalism is the only system that works, which is why every viral tweet has a follow-up reply from the OP linking a gofundme for a close friend who is dying
We’re being held hostage by a psychopath in kitten heels and a fake tan and his lunatic lawyer with hair dye dripping down his face because some of you thought a woman would be too emotional to run the country.
Simply cannot stop thinking about a girl I knew who dated a guy she couldn’t STAND - all because his ex died in a plane crash, & her biggest fear was dying in a plane crash, & she figured there was no way the universe would let both of this guy’s girlfriends die in a plane crash
current government messaging is like don’t go out ❤️ but bars and restaurants are open ❤️ but don’t go there ❤️ but support local businesses and restaurants they need it ❤️ but again don’t go out ❤️
The government has had 6 months to prepare for a second wave and have done absolutely nothing. Now we are punishing small businesses and workers that will not survive while our leaders eat Arctic char indoors. This is genuinely an upside down backwards society.
Do other people’s Thanksgivings operate the way my house did where dinner might be ready any time between 3pm and 9:30pm and the people cooking get very angry if you ask
My kid just started watching freaks and geeks...without me. I always wanted to watch it with her. But I get it. Because even if you start out Kim fucking Kelly, eventually you just end up someone’s uncool mom. 😭
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: watching the new season of Big Mouth, doing the Polar Drive experience, there have been only two snowstorms so far and I can’t wait for more to come, and I’ve already started baking the chocolate chip Nutella cookies that I love to make this time of year but I want to try something new as well so I’m thinking about giving these ones a try. Christmas will of course be different this year, it’s looking like it’ll be me, my parents (since I’ve been staying here since October), Nathan & Baby Dog on Christmas morning, which actually seems like it might be kind of intimate and nice. It’ll feel wrong in certain ways because I love having my entire family here, but I’m going to try and make the most of it.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here.
I know that you know that I've been trying to eat better lately, but that doesn't mean you can't make a healthy-ish burger once in awhile. And this is absolutely the tastiest turkey burger I've ever had. I swear to God it tastes like a real burger.
Look, I know that I've already had my Thanksgiving (over a month ago). But who says that you can't celebrate another country's special days as well? WHO?
So I decided to make the following recipe because:
This is technically the first kind of real (not ground) turkey I've ever cooked (and if you're side-eyeing me right now because I didn't get a "whole" bird to cook, you can f off) and it turned out ridiculously well. Who the hell knew it was so easy to cook a turkey? Why have sitcoms always made it seem so difficult? I must insist on you making this immediately, it was so crazy good.
Ingredients
1 turkey breast** {mine was bone-in and weighed a little under 3 lbs}
1 apple, sliced into rings
4 TBSP butter, cut into small cubes
2 tsp coarse salt
1 tsp chopped rosemary
1 tsp chopped thyme
1/2 tsp chopped sage
2 tsp onion powder
Instructions
Cover the bottom of your slow cooker in half of the apple rings in the slow cooker. Combine the seasonings in a small bowl.
Rub the seasonings onto the turkey breast, making sure to get some underneath the skin. Dot the turkey with butter cubes (again, put some underneath the skin). Then place the turkey in the slow cooker and put some apple rings on top of the turkey.
There's no need to add any additional liquid, so don't fret.
Cook on LOW for 5-6 hours, until the internal temperature reaches 165 degrees F. {After 4 hours, check every half hour to make sure you don't over cook it - though I happen to think that overcooked turkey is waaaay more delicious than it's "properly" cooked, almost-wet counterpart.
**If your turkey breast is boneless, then you'll need to cook it for 3-4 hours on low.
