I made a brioche french toast with homemade Nutella whipped cream that was unreasonably good. It was surprisingly hard to find a bakery that had ready-made brioche, but Whole Foods made this possible (unfortunately).
My nephew Rome really got into this book of final last words, so he kept reading them aloud all month and this (below) is one of my favourites.
I visited the new (and finally open) Central Library in Mississauga and it’s so disappointing. The layout is terrible, the kids area is practically nonexistent, the shelving is appropriate for toddlers, the parking garage uses pay parking before 6pm and even the entrance is so badly designed that the front librarians have to wear their winter coats because of the breeze coming in from the main doors.
I’ve mentioned this already, but I can’t stop myself from trying to remember the old days of Square One (the mall in Mississauga). I’ve found a few photos that triggered some things in my brain and for some reason I need to write them out here so that I don’t accidentally forget them again. Do you remember when there was the movie theatre where Goodlife is now, next to The Bay? And the toy store Toys Toys Toys next to the theatre? Or the swinging ship boat ride infront of The Bay? Or all of the water fountains in the two-level food court! A giant Burger King used to be where Earl’s is now and people would wait inside it because that’s where the buses used to stop. The slushies at Woolco (that closed in1994) are cemented in my brain as the best in the world. The pretzel stand outside of Walter’s Music and down the isolated escalator from that parking lot that was next to Sears. And the Biway, Everything For A Dollar and Grand & Toy in that same Walter’s hallway. The giant HMV that used to be next to Donato. The Marks and Spencers that had a huge clothing area and then a separate grocery area. The greeting card store (my first job!) Your Expression that was around the corner from where the TD is now. The PJ’s Pets (the pet store) that used to be where Bulk Barn is now, with their rows and rows of fish tanks. Oh my god the It Store, Le Chateau, Jacob (where Wilfred is now), Diana Sweets, Black’s Cameras, Music World, Green Earth (that store with all the spiritual items and wooden figures), the coat check at Customer Service, Starstruck Entertainment, that Victorian store that used to be outside Walmart where the Tim Hortons is, the La Vie En Rose that was hidden away, the West 49 store, the restaurant that was in the space where Chipotle is now, Glamour Shots, Pegabo, Spencer Gifts. And if you’re truly insane and you want to see video footage of the mall from the 90s, I found one.
Ate at Torrisi and yes it was fine, but absolutely not worth the money. The ham appetizer and the dessert were the only things that were unique and fantastic. I think I’m vowing to actively not go to trendy places this year, they almost always disappoint.
In love with the thin pizza at Emmett’s on Grove and how they abnormally slice it. Fully recommend.
Once every few years I’ll add a new makeup product to my routine (or update something that I’ve already been using), and I really love the Selena Gomez Rare Beauty contour stick (in Happy Sol). I’ve retired my NARS contour powder for it. I did try the Fenty contour stick but couldn’t find the right colour for my face.
I’m TikTok’s biggest critic, but I love this (below).
Started using Palmer’s Cocoa Butter at my parent’s house because of the dry air and I’m not sure that it’s the best lotion but it absolutely smells the best.
I’ll always give a new restaurant a chance, but the lunch special at Thai Villa is truly nothing special.
Air: fine, but easily could've been a Wikipedia read instead of a movie.
No One Will Save You: hated it so much.
Speed: still amazing. Tianna kept accidentally calling it “Fast” hahahah.
The Morning Show: I stopped at the first episodes of season three. Season two really turned me off, especially when season one was pretty great. The writing overall isn’t very good, so it’s a bit of a mystery why I kept watching. I think I was just desperate for something new to watch. Other season one thoughts: the music choices are terrible and corny. Why is the adolescent daughter Lizzy played by an actress who seems 40? And you might not agree with this, but Mindy Kaling is a bad dramatic actress.
Destination Wedding: I watched fifteen minutes and it’s the worst written movie I think I’ve seen in years. Had to abandon. (And this is hard to admit since I love Keanu.)
Baby Dog, January 2024
Some things I’m looking forward to this month: my annual boycott of the superbowl, I’m going to try and see Back To The Future on Broadway, my friend Dave is in a movie that’s playing at the Angelika so we’ll go see that and I’d really love to finally finish the Mel Brooks book I’m reading.
Oh my god, this month is the ten year anniversary of this blog.
How.
If you don’t know me very well, let’s just say that I don’t have a great reputation for following through with things, so this seems a little crazy.
Okay, I wrote that last sentence and now I’m thinking about it and lately I do try really hard to follow through with things. What the hell was I talking about? Years ago, I used to be terrible at it and my head still gets stuck in that mindset sometimes. I think it’s really easy to think you haven’t changed since we’re hardest on ourselves, but maybe it’s smart to take a moment to actually see how far you’ve come. Clearly I can follow through with things because it’s ten years later and I still love writing in this space. I’m rambling when I’m really just trying to say thank you for even wanting to read this. Any of this. I do it because I love it, so anyone who even kind of cares about it makes me so happy.
Nathan and I saw Death of a Salesman on Broadway and yes it’s good, but it would’ve been smarter of me to look up the plot beforehand. Sometimes you need to prep yourself for a horribly depressing, but beautifully written piece of work.
Death of a Salesman, January 2023
Before the most depressing play of all time
I also saw Moulin Rouge with my dear friend Diana and it was a beautiful spectacle. We had such a fun time, but maybe because we had an edible and we’d have fun anywhere together? The musical itself was like diabolical karaoke. The sets and performers were unbelievably good, though.
You should always dress for the musical/play you’re about to see
I’d never made penne alla vodka at home before, so I made the Half Baked Harvest spicy one and it was terrible. Crushed red pepper flakes should be banned as an ingredient, it always tries to bring life to a dish that is seasoned poorly.
There’s never a bad time to head to a pool, so Diana and I went to the one at the TWA Hotel that’s open all winter long.
The pool at the TWA Hotel at JFK, NYC
My friend Paul introduced me to apple nachos and after I made fun of him for a few minutes I ate them and now I make them multiple times a week. (Sliced apples, almond or peanut butter, grainless or normal granola pieces and chocolate chips.)
I made lasagna soup and it was exactly what’s needed on a cold night. Leftovers were a nightmare because Nathan was out of town so it was just me eating beef soup for four days straight, but nonetheless! Great recipe for a family.
God, I love Mercer Street in Soho. I didn’t even know they had a Zimmerman store. I bought one of their swimsuits years ago and it’s still my favourite to this day. Look at these beautiful pieces.
Zimmermann, Soho
Zimmermann, Soho
Zimmermann, Soho
Zimmermann, Soho
And are you kidding me with these coats from ZCRAVE (also on Mercer)?? I want a closet full of these beauties. One for every mood.
ZCRAVE, Soho
ZCRAVE, Soho
I went to a sale at Showplace Backstage where they sell used/vintage pieces from film & television.
Got drinks at the lounge inside the Mandarin Oriental and it was nice, obviously overpriced but still nice.
Had dinner at Carne Mare, which has such a beautiful space, it’s perfect for a special occasion. The caviar mozzarella sticks were slightly overrated but everything else was good and the service was stellar. Can't wait to go again.
Mozzarella sticks with caviar at Carne Mare, NYC
The Body Shop came out with a new winter scent (Wild Pine) and I’m head over heels in love. I’ve always wanted to smell like a big, beautiful Christmas tree year-round and now I can. (This sounds sarcastic, but I’m deathly serious.)
Tried the pistachio cream cold brew at Starbucks and yep, I forgot again how sick that cream makes me. Can they please stop introducing new cream flavours?? I think it’s abundantly clear that I will not learn, so they just need to stop.
I know absolutely nothing about wine (other than South African reds taste like trash) but oh my god, the wine brand Josh? Truly putrid.
I think I’ve finally learned that hair serums do absolutely nothing for my hair. I’ve been going through all of my hair products that I never use and it’s really wild what we’re told we need for our hair. Getting rid of it all. I can’t wait to have a clearer dresser top.
I like to sit and peruse the new cookbooks at Barnes & Noble every so often and the Don Angie one seems kind of great (the spicy crab panzanella and the spiced lamb ragu with marsala and fennel, specifically). The new Via Carota one however was a real letdown. I hated that it was organized seasonally for some reason.
So I got a frother recently and wow was it not worth it. Returned it immediately. I think I was expecting espresso-machine-level frothing, so I kind of set myself up for disappointment.
I got a new Kipozi straightener after using my niece Layla’s over the holidays and oh my god it’s insanely good. I’m gonna do a short video about it because I still can’t believe how long the curls last.
Went to Little Ruby’s Cafe in Soho and it was a perfect lunch spot. Also rediscovered Blue Ribbon after completely forgetting about its existence and it remains a great late night place.
Little Ruby’s Cafe, Soho
I know it’s pretty dated, but I always love Bistro Les Amis. I hope it never shuts down.
I finally went to Bistro Eloise for the first time in Queens and it’s wild that such a great restaurant is in a little plaza mall. Maybe not wild actually, but unexpected. Had the best onion soup in all of NYC (that broth was unreal). Escargots was fantastic, the specials were wonderful and the service was perfect, too. Go, go, go.
Had one of the worst banking experiences of life with TD Canada recently, so I’m gonna transfer everything completely to another bank. Don’t fuck with me, CORPORATIONS.
I made this short rib bolognese and it was heavenly. I will now always make short rib at home. It’s overpriced when you order it out and the fat is always kept on it when it’s served, so it’s absolutely not worth it. When I made the recipe, I did everything instructed but at the end when the meat is cooked, I separated all of the fatty bits to throw away and it elevated the sauce times a million.
Short rib bolognese
Some things I watched:
The Banshees of Inisherin - so incredibly good and unexpected. Cannot sing enough praises about it. To anyone who thought it was boring: grow up.
The White Lotus (both seasons) - obviously season two is juicier, but both were good. Love Steve Zahn. Is the show as great as everyone laments? Maybe? It’s hard to say because yes it’s good, but aren’t we all so sad and broken right now that anything even mildly good is considered revolutionary? Personally I liked it mainly because I like to watch people on vacation.
Jennifer’s Body - holy god did it suck. Why the hell was this on my must watch list for over a decade? SUCKFEST.
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’d love to go ice skating at least once more this season, I know it’s lofty but I’d also love to go skiing and I really want to make a tres leche cake after recently discovering that it’s my favourite cake in the world.
If you have any interest in reading what went on in December, come on over here.
This is obvious, but was that the longest January that ever Januaried? Also, I had to sit down and do the math yesterday to remind myself of my age, what is happening? Time isn’t real anymore so we should all just silently, but confidently stop looking at clocks. Like when a clock’s battery dies, just don’t replace it…? I don’t know, but that feels like it could be an answer to something.
You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.
I recapped how my 2021 resolutions went - why don’t more people do this? If they did, then maybe there wouldn’t be such a stigma around making resolutions in the first place. I completely failed in getting some of mine done, but like… that’s okay? Not everything has to be a success.
The Phantom of The Opera - went with Nathan (his first time, my gazillionth) and he loved it! Thank god too, because if he didn’t… let’s just say I’d TAKE UMBRAGE.
MJ: The Musical - it was really good. It does seem insane that it was still made after everything, but the actors were great and the dancing was incredible. I’m sure it won’t last and maybe that’s a good thing? I don’t know.
Come From Away - went with Nathan and it was good! I can’t see myself ever wanting to see it again, but it was good.
Phantom of the Opera, January 2022
MJ: The Musical, January 2022
Come From Away, January 2022
I promise you I wash this Raptors mask a lot, January 2022
Seeing The Phantom of the Opera with Nathan, January 2022
Restaurant Week has returned and so has the heavenly wild mushroom soup with truffle oil & mascarpone at Giorgio’s of Gramercy.
Didn’t even mind how burned this bread was THAT’S HOW GOOD THIS SOUP IS, Giorgio’s of Gramercy, January 2022
The Sparrow Tavern just reopened and good christ, they might have the most incredible burger in Astoria. Just wild, wild stuff.
I made these ginger sesame noodles with caramelized mushrooms and while they were good, there were way too many steps to get to the eventual meal. Noodles need not be so complicated! Just as a sidenote: I feel like 90% of food bloggers should take, like, a yearlong break or something. There’s too much content when it comes to new recipes online and so much of it just isn’t any good and might be wasting all of our time. Am I wrong?
I made the Momofuku Soy & Scallion noodles from the package sold at Target and it was pretty good! I added zero ingredients other than what came with the package and yes that was a mistake, but I’ll add more to it next time since there are five packets left. I’m thinking caramelized onions, mushrooms and maybe actual chopped raw scallions too. Ooo yeah, that sounds good.
I went to Bench Flour Bakers for the first time and what a sweet little place, I just wish it were closer to civilization. I had a scone that was incredible, great coffee and I can’t wait to go back to try their duck burger. The soup was a bit of a yikes situation but that’s my fault, I never like English pea soup so that was my mistake to order it.
Scone from Bench Flour Bakers, Astoria, New York
I’ve been using the brightening powder from dpHUE and I can’t really tell if it’s working. It also has this weirdly strong metallic smell, which can’t be good?? Probably should return.
I tried a sandwich from Alidoro in the West Village and WOW is that place overrated and laughably expensive for what you’re getting. I’ve made better sandwiches AT HOME. There are better sandwiches in literally every corner bodega. How on earth is this place succeeding?
I also went into Sullivan Street Bakery next to Alidoro and what the hell? Why is that place so small? Isn’t it supposed to be a big deal? This whole street was a joke.
View from the Time Out Market rooftop in DUMBO, New York
I’ve been using the Three Ships lip exfoliator, lip mask and face mask and they’re all really good products. Love the act of having to mix up your own mask in a little bowl before it goes on your face. Seems like a great company. (Thank you, Harmeet!)
I was a little disappointed to hear that Forsythia is introducing a $75/per person tasting menu now, but then I realized they’re doing a $40/per person two course meal with wine at the bar so I can’t wait to return.
I finally ate at Mamo with my dear friend Diana and it was good! Truthfully the food was very okay, but the addition of truffles to everything is the main draw here. It’s also a beautiful place, so it’s definitely worth a visit.
Diana then took me to Angelina Bakery in Bryant Park for dessert since she had heard good things about it, and bless her heart but I think this place slightly misses the mark. They’re big on chestnut cream here, which in my opinion tastes like air? It’s weird because once you taste it you think, “Oo this texture is nice” and then you wait for the flavour to kick in, but it never does. It’s odd. Usually the French are good at desserts. And they do look beautiful, but that’s where the intrigue ends. Oh god, and the hot chocolate! Waaaay too chocolatey, but this is a personal preference. For comparison, I’ve always hated the City Bakery hot chocolate that most people adore, so take this with a grain of salt. (If you are in the area for something sweet, I vote that you go to the Lady M around the block or the Japanese chocolate king Royce.) (And Diana, please continue to introduce me to new places - even if they’re trash, I want to go with you!)
In love with the seasonal lemon poppy seed cruller at Daily Provisions. God, I love a cruller, they’re lighter/tastier than a donut but sweeter than a boring croissant. And those sexy ridges? Get out of here.
Lemon poppy seed cruller, Daily Provisions, New York City
There was a big snowstorm last week, so I woke up at 6am and took the train to Central Park. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and it was so worth it. I arrived before sunrise and it was absolutely breathtaking. It snowed the entire time and all you could hear were the birds. I can’t truly express how magical it felt. It also led to a crazy amount of people liking one of the photos I took that morning, which, you know, feels nice unfortunately. I’m a whore for likes.
Speaking of Sephora, I tried the lip oil from Merit and returned it the next day. Lip oil just isn’t necessary. You get the same effect when you use lip balm, when will women see this scam??
I also sampled some Kylie Skin products (I know, don’t judge, I really just wanted to try them to have an opinion) and they were all awful. The face wash leaves your face tight and extremely dry, the toner does absolutely nothing but burn a bit (in a bad way) and the face lotion is thick as hell and leaves this gross film on your face. And the “high gloss” looks like it’s a kid’s product to use at playtime. Returned everything obviously.
I tried the Impossible chicken nuggets and they taste identical to regular chicken nuggets. If I were an eight year old vegetarian, I’d be jacked right about now.
I stopped by Leonelli inside The Evelyn and their slice was incredible, I’m dying to try the roast chicken sandwich next time.
I know I mentioned it last month, but I have to make a mental note to remember to buy all of the snowdrop scented Mrs. Meyer’s items that come out again in November (minus the hand wash because I’m loyal to my foam soap). This scent has given my life meaning?
I had a Chip City cookie and it’s nothing too crazy, Levain is definitely better.
I’ve never been a giant fan of salmon but I’ve made this lemon brown buttered salmon recipe twice now and it’s oddly delicious. Is browned butter the answer to typically gross food? Yes. Yes, it is.
If you’re Canadian, do you remember Christine Cushing? I’d completely forgotten about her but recently came across her YouTube channel and I forgot how much I liked her and the way she cooks.
What I’ve watched this month:
The Golden Girls - honestly…. just a fun, great time. I never watched it as a kid but I randomly put on one episode while I was cooking and it’s wonderful. I’m almost done the whole series. Few thoughts? There’s an entire episode about Blanche’s husband coming back to life (she thought he was dead) and the whole storyline is about how he faked his death and how it turns her life upside down and then this scene happens at the end <spoiler> that reveals it was just a recurring dream that she has about her husband and how it isn’t a sad dream because it helps her remember him to keep his spirit alive and I don’t know if I’m doing it justice, but it’s the sweetest scene and so unexpected somehow. Also, Rose is definitely the best character. And last thought? I really don’t care for Sophia, she’s much too mean. I understand that she’s supposed to be, but I wince every time she enters a scene.
Scream (5) <spoilers> - look, I’ll always love the franchise but here’s the ranking of the best ones to worst: Scream, Scream 2 (Scream: The College Years), Scream 3 (Scream Goes Hollywood), Scream 5, and finally Scream 4. And that’s not me hating it! There just… there didn’t need to be this many movies. The original will never be matched and that’s okay! Certain parts of the new one were great of course - Dewey’s “I’ve been stabbed nine times” and I loved the Skeet Ulrich hallucinations because they were hilarious. It’s really just a fun movie that revisits the original in a decent way. Scream 4 is the real bad one of the franchise, so let’s all just agree that that’s the one we’ll collectively forget.
I was thinking about watching the new Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee thing on Hulu but then I heard that she didn’t even want it made! At first I thought that seems impossible because how could it get made without their approval, but like… that tape was released without their approval, so I guess it kind of makes sense? In any case, there’s no way I’ll watch it now.
I had lunch at The Regency Bar & Grill and oh what a nice little spot. The caesar salad was perfectly dressed and the eight hour short rib was decadent and perfect. Service was great, too. Love a good hotel restaurant.
New habits I’ve adopted this past month:
When I buy something in a store, I do a quick check on my phone to see if there’s a cheaper price for the same item on their company’s website OR if they price-match with other stores, I quickly look that up as well. This last week alone I think I’ve saved maybe $20. Is everyone doing this and no one is talking about it? Or am I a little too proud of my cheapness?
If someone mentions a name of someone famous that I don’t know, I’ve decided to stop looking them up to find out who they are. Frankly, I shouldn’t care and I love not knowing things that do not affect me directly.
I am going to stop buying flights through third party websites. It’s always such an annoying hassle to deal with them if something goes wrong with your flight, and yes airlines are complete scumbags but at least if you book directly, the chances of being treated better are higher.
This last habit isn’t really for me, it’s for you: you’re not using Q-tips in your ears, are you? Please stop! Apparently it even says on the packaging that you shouldn’t use them in your ears. Please, please stop! Ear health! It’s important!
I’ve learned the secret to what you’re supposed to do when you’re done having acrylic/artificial nails - get a gel manicure as soon as the fake ones are removed. That way your little baby nails are protected for a few weeks while they re-adjust to being normal sized again.
I would really love to learn how to do the splits. You might think it’s impossible, but I’ve seen some videos that will make you eat your hat in a few months time.
I officially started keeping track of my receipts (I should be embarrassed that I haven’t done this before but here we are), so I’m kind of excited to see how that goes. I want to go through every one at the end of each month and see what the hell I’m spending too much on. This might be a terrible idea.
If you have any interest in reading what went on in December, come on over here.
Wonderful, a new month! Even I’m not sure when I’m being sarcastic anymore. You know what I realized this month? This is technically year three of Covid-19 since it started in late 2019. Should I have kept that information to myself? Probably. I’m sorry. In any case, time moves on and we’re in a new month, so here’s what went down last month.
Before I begin, every January I make sure to:
Mark down all important holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (also Daylight Saving Times, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving) on my calendar
Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance/vet vaccinations and write down any important renewal dates
I recapped how my 2020 resolutions turned out. Spoiler alert: it’s not impressive.
I made my 2021 resolutions because I’m determined to live optimistically.
I made this carbonara from Bon Appetite and it BLEW! It was the first recipe that I made this year so I. was. PISSED.
I couldn’t find a Detroit style pizza place near my parent’s house (grow up, Mississauga) so I had no other choice but to get takeout from Descendant in Toronto and it was incredible.
The 8 x 10 “no name” from Descendant Pizza, Toronto
I’ve been using my parent’s air fryer and, surprise surprise, it’s amazing. Obviously it makes everything taste great, but the best part is that it’s so much faster than a regular oven. The best thing I’ve made so far was definitely these pickles.
I’d never even heard of The Devil’s Own which seems insane because two of the hottest nineties men are in it. Good movie? Not so much. I’d watch it again on mute though maybe.
Speaking of the past, do you remember Heritage Minutes in Canada? God, some of them were really, really good. My favourite ones were the Laura Secord one, the Superman one, the Winnie one, and definitely the Marconi one.
Still in love with the Dennis Gross peels, I just wish they weren’t so unreasonably priced.
I made this BA pasta with mushrooms and it was waaay too salty, what the hell is going on with me fucking up recipes these days?!
I tried this frozen vegan pizza and it was actually not terrible! Like, not as terrible tasting as regular frozen pizza.
Remember Grand & Toy (it was near Walter’s Music in Square One in the 90s)? I have to make a mental note to start using them instead of Staples. I loved that store for school supplies when I was a kid. Gotta support.
I’ve been watching the new Jeopardy! episodes with Ken Jennings and the first one was terrible in my opinion mainly because it just felt so wrong, but as I’ve kept watching I think it’s becoming less weird. I am excited to see the other guest hosts just to see how different they’ll each be.
I tried this drugstore John Frieda sea spray and it was complete crap. I may have overused it, but that’s really not my fault. Why in the hell don’t hair product labels tell you how many pumps you should use?! I swear to god, if only I were running things…
I made popovers for the first time and they were surprisingly easy! I might never buy a dinner roll ever again.
Popovers
I love the softness of these Indigo pajamas so much that I bought them twice (in both red & blue).
I heard the old Frank Sinatra song That’s Life on the radio the other day and got so teary, maybe ‘cause I haven’t heard it in years? Maybe ‘cause it’s just a perfect song? Am I slowly just losing it? While it was playing, I just kept saying to myself “That IS life!” Yeah, might have lost it.
I watched the newest season of Big Mouth and loved it. The anxiety mosquito might be the best new character introduced in the middle of a series OF ALL TIME. Such a great show.
I started watching Superstore (mostly in the background) and it’s pretty good! I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I definitely get the appeal.
My friend Dusty got his film Violation into Sundance and it’s wild that I know such immensely talented people. So, so proud of him.
I made blintzes with a Grand Marnier mascarpone (the blintz recipe is, of course, from Chef John and the mascarpone recipe is from one of Stanley Tucci’s cookbooks). It was delicious. It seems so intimidating to make crepes, but it was actually so easy and fun. Plus it looks like it’d be such a complicated thing to make, but I’d say it’s even easier than baking cookies.
Blintz with Grand Marnier mascarpone & wild blueberries in a cranberry coulis
I tried to read Ijeoma Oluo’s newest book Mediocre and I just couldn’t get into it. Even I was surprised because I love her work, so maybe I’ll give this one another try at a later date.
I had a real craving for a good bagel and since I’m not near Brooklyn Bagel in Astoria at the moment, I looked up the best place in this area for a bagel and went to the Old Bagel House on Lakeshore. And look, I respect what they’re doing, but they don’t hold a candle to New York bagels. Hard pass.
I’ve been using this tea tree night lotion from The Body Shop for years now, it really calms down your face before bed. Their entire tea tree collection is hard to beat.
I recently started eating frozen Canadian wild blueberries and they taste soblueberry. It’s madness. They’re so tiny and full of flavour, I couldn’t believe it. I’m so used to the blandness of blueberries from literally everywhere else. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE!
In 34 years on this planet I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries
Paul Rudd is a glimmering example of an 8 who became a 10 by having a good personality. That’s right folks, you can go up by +2 just by being wonderful
"Reduce Stress" isn't an acceptable treatment suggestion for any ailment unless the doctor telling you to do it is offering to cover your expenses while you rest.
Almost a year later and I still think it’s absurd that we’re all expected to carry on like everything isn’t bizarre. No change in work schedules, hours or anything. We’re really the “this is fine” meme come to life.
— Creole Lady Grey Poupon (@theelectwoman08) January 4, 2021
wanna open a bar called “plot twist” where upon entering the establishment you suddenly learn that you are that evenings bartender
i used to think that commissioning a hologram of your wife's dead father who you never met and having him call you a genius from beyond the grave was proof of a perfect marriage but i guess i'll have to rethink https://t.co/UyOoVfIGMa
2021: are the armed insurrectionists storming the Capitol aware that there is a plague ravaging the land
— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) January 7, 2021
this is my favorite photo of the year. John Trumbull’s Surrender of General Burgoyne sitting right there and he grabs a PODIUM?! FUND ARTS EDUCATION NOW! 🤡 pic.twitter.com/nfT37LZoM1
What’s always appalled me about this country is how we have so much more empathy for powerful people who commit crimes out of greed than for poor people who commit crimes out of desperation.
Once my husband was reading a Halloween book to our 4 y/o niece & she pointed to a vague monster in the background of an illustration. “Who IS that?” she asked. “I don’t know,” he answered. Then like an exhausted magazine editor in chief, she sighed “It’s probably a ghoul.”
I'd like to teach y'all a Southern phrase that will help you get off a phone/Zoom/Facetime call or you don't want to be on anymore but don't have an excuse to leave. Let me introduce you to the power of "Well, let me let you go"
ONLY person going through border from Canada to US. Customs agent looked at me the way a server does when you walk into their restaurant that’s about to close
bunch of high schoolers just walked past my car in the Taco Bell drive thru I was playing coldplay loud as hell. one of em made eye contact wit me, said something to his friends and they all laughed. this is the worst day of my life
today’s young vegetarians will never know the adrenaline rush of ordering a veggie burger in 2006 with not the faintest idea of what you were about to receive
The notes app is a uniquely melancholy place where banal tasks like "buy paper towels" live next to incoherent, sad aspirations like "become more like safdie brothers" (??)
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
I once asked friends on Facebook for the craziest LA advice their parents had given & 1 said their mom told her to wear a fake ponytail when jogging so if someone grabbed it to try to rape her it would pull out like a lizard's tail and boy do women have a lot more to worry about.
For everyone who is like, “A SATC reboot without Samantha? She’s the sex!” Sure. But she’s been the best friend anyone could ask for since Day One. When I think Samantha - I think this moment sums up her entire existence. That wink!! pic.twitter.com/QrsjnZMFLi
I’ve purposely put off writing this monthly wrap-up because, well, christ. January was a terrible month. I don’t need to go into the details of why, but the consensus from everyone that I’ve talked to fully agrees with me on this. What the hell happened? Starting a new decade is supposed to be great. In any case, I’ll always have high hopes for the future. And I’m just thankful to begin a new month. Here’s what went down in the pit that was January 2020.
First things first, I recapped how my 2019 resolutions turned out. Why don’t more people do this? Where’s the accountability in reviewing your past resolutions? They’re not fucking birthday wishes, they’re intentions! More people need to follow through with this, even if the results aren’t what you hoped for.
I rewatched (or watched for the first time, I truly can’t remember) The Staircase and it’s so good. I’m pretty sure Marla got me MP3 copies of this years ago and I did watch it, but I completely forgot about it in detail. Such a good watch. If you’ve already seen it, do you know about the owl theory? It’s a wild one, but, like, I think an owl did it now?
I’ve been using a small bottle of OUAI’s Wave Spray and if I can figure out how to not overspray it, it’s a great product. Once you use it though, your hair only looks good that day. After you sleep on it, your hair looks like shit. (Is that true of all hair products? I have absolutely no idea.)
Bought this Banana Republic top for $13 on sale and I love it because it does not feel like it cost so little.
I don’t know if it’s a Canadian brand but I have found a wicked alternative to Dollarama: Buck or Two. I went to one in Brampton and they’ve got everything.
I watched most of the SNL with Jennifer Lopez and wow did it suck. 99% of the sketches were basically “She’s pretty. That’s the joke.” Fucking hated it. They do this a lot of the time with certain actresses and I can’t ever tell if it’s because the actress loves doing these sketches or they’re afraid she can’t be funny. Whatever the reason is, blow my brains out, please.
I went to the Ear Inn in the city and it was lovely! Super old place. Service was great. Burger was great.
I went to Glossier with the intention of buying the cheek stain and then decided against it. It’s not a good product. I literally pinched my cheeks and got a better rosiness.
I came across probably my favourite winter children’s book of all time, The Snowman by Raymond Briggs. Look at one page of this magic.
I went to The Dutch again for Restaurant Week for their steak tartare and it’s just heaven on a plate.
I rewatched the great What Lies Beneath and man, it’s still just such a great movie.
As you may have heard, Papyrus is going out of business, so I’ve popped in twice to see what the closing deals are and they aren’t worth it yet (only 30% off! C’mon! I won’t get out of bed for at least 60%), so I’ll keep stopping in every so often until they’ve become desperate.
Love this part of a recent SNL (below). (If you can’t see it in Canada, search for “white male rage SNL.”)
I finally went to Boulud Sud for their pasta happy hour and man was it not worth it. The place has a terrible setup if you’re sitting at the bar, the food was absolutely nothing special and had ridiculous portion sizes. It’s also a bad sign when the bread is tastier than the entree. Super disappointing.
I tried on the bras and underwear from LIVELY in Soho and even though it’s priced reasonably, I couldn’t find anything I loved. I have a feeling that I could be into it though, so I’ll go again sometime in the future for sure.
I’ll forever love the lunch special at Pil Pil on the Upper East Side. I know I probably bring this up too much, but man. Love tapas.
I can’t stop buying sunglasses for sale at ALDO. And I won’t.
I finished season one of The West Wing and it was really good. I keep forgetting about it, but I should stick with it. People, like, loved that show, didn’t they?
I started using Sol De Janeiro’s Bum Bum Cream… on my butt. That’s what it’s for, no? So far, I mean… it feels smooth? It’s not at all greasy, which I like. Seems weird to have a cream just for your butt, but who am I to criticize.
Ate the fish tacos at Summer Salt and they’re good! It’s insane and great that they sell margaritas at a fast casual place, too.
Love this Wells For Boys sketch (below) from a few years ago that I just saw for the first time (thanks for showing me, Irene!)
I haven’t been there in years, but I went to Sweet Afton for happy hour in Astoria the other day and had the pickle martini which actually wasn’t terrible. Love that place.
Tried the lunch burger at Peter Luger finally! And yes it was a good burger (love that they use American cheese and the bun was very good even though it's not a potato bun). Steakhouse burgers are always hard for me to rate since a steakhouse burger is a real *entree* unlike the regular, everyday burgers that other places have which are not as big and overwhelming. An everyday burger is easy to rate since it's either great, overrated or shit. A steakhouse burger has nuances, how juicy is too juicy? How's the quality of the meat? What are the ideal toppings? Should someone shoot me for my extensive burger thoughts? Yes.
I went to see a free orchestral performance put on by Julliard at Lincoln Center and it was great. It reminded me so much of going to my brother Gary’s recitals when I was a kid, just loved it.
Had dinner at Portale. The pasta was insane. This place might be a rival for L’Artusi! Dare I say it! Every bite was phenomenal. MUST return. (Noteworthy: it also just got two stars in the Times.)
Maybe you don’t know this, but 90% of post offices in the U.S. have bulletproof glass between the workers and the customers. It’s obviously because awful things have happened, but I’ve been going to this one post office in the city on 23rd street that doesn’t have the glass and the workers are SO MUCH MORE PLEASANT. I wish all locations were like this one. Just a thought.
Mark down all holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (Valentine’s Day, Daylight Saving Times, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving)
Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance and write down any important renewal dates
I’ve watched the first two new episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and it fucking blows. There was only one thing I laughed at (when a server thought Larry was “oggling” her but he was really just keeping an eye on her tray with pigs in blankets) but OTHER THAN THAT, what a piece of shit season so far! I fucking hated the part in one episode where he videotapes the consent given between him and some woman as they’re making out. ALSO, and this has happened a few times over the seasons, he’s recycling fucking Seinfeld jokes. FROM THE SHOW. Talking about when it’s too late to get “Happy New Year-ed”? Are we kidding here?! Fucking lazy as hell. I might just stop watching.
I watched the new Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix and it’s really good. Even if you have zero opinion on her, I really liked it. (It also introduced me to this great song.)
Things that I’m looking forward to this month: seeing a Raptors game at Barclays Center, finally sitting down and watching season two of Shrill in its entirety, reading Joan Rivers’ book Enter Talking and and maybe going to another Restaurant Week lunch before the end date. February, please oh please don’t be as terrible as January.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in December over here!
