by Liz Heather in ,


I am a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I’ve only seen Antz. But I’ll tell you something. What I respect about that man is that when he was going through all that stuff that was coming out in the press, about how Antz was just a rip-off of A Bug’s Life, he stayed true to his films. Or at least the film that I saw. Which again, was Antz. The thing is, I thought A Bug’s Life was better, much better than Antz. Point is, don’t listen to your critics. Listen to your fans.
— Michael Scott, The Office

The Purple Rose of Cairo

by Liz Heather in


Amongst all of my favourite Woody Allen movies (Annie Hall, Midnight in Paris, Everyone Says I Love You, Anything Else and Vicky Cristina Barcelona), this one is definitely my favourite. The overly-whimsical storyline is enough to make me fall in love with it, but then the ending happens and couldn’t be any more perfect. Obviously I won't give away what happens, but if you've ever given a guff about any of this man's movies, this is the only one you ever need to see.


Celebrating 29

by Liz Heather in , ,


Tomorrow I turn 30.

I know, I know - how could this youthful, ageless beauty be turning a fully functioning adult age? Beats me, but it's happening. And I think I'm kind of pumped about it. Why, you ask? 'Cause these past 29 years have been some of the most fortunate ones that any human could have asked for. Really. And I want to list some of the greatest things that I've experienced thus far. 

(If you judge me for making this list and/or being proud of it, then I think you might be missing my point here. In which case, skip the list altogether and proceed to the final two paragraphs.)

Highlights Of The Past 29 Years

  • I was a co-lead in my fifth grade musical production of Newsies (or the more accurately titled "Extra! Extra! Read All About It!")
  • I've learned to play the piano, alto saxophone and bass guitar.
  • I've never smoked a cigarette.
  • I'm bendy.
  • In London, I ate the worst fish and chips known to man.
  • In Portugal, I discovered Steak Diane in the Algarve and listened to Fado music in Lisbon.
  • A stuffed poodle has slept atop my bed for over 25 years.

Tianna & said poodle, early 2000s.

  • In Spain, my mother and I were chased by gypsies. (Is that a racial slur? I Googled it and opinions are mixed. I don't mean to be derogatory.)
  • In North Carolina, I saw a crab bite my dad and as a result - I stayed out of the ocean for the following 15 years.

North Carolina with Dad & Gary, right before he got bit.

  • In New Brunswick, I saw the tides change.
  • In California, I didn't trust how perfect it all seemed.
  • In New Hampshire, I flew a glider plane as a teenager.

A glider is a plane with no engine, 1997.

  • I went to a performing arts high school for vocal music.
  • I had the perfect childhood dog experience.
  • In Grenada, I witnessed some baby turtles hatch in the sand in the early morning sun.
  • In Belize, I innertubed through the jungle rivers.
  • I've been to Disney Land and to Disney World. (World's better.)
  • I've road-tripped to Detroit solely for a concert.
  • I've waded in a hotel fountain in New Jersey.
  • In The Cayman Islands, I went down into the sea in a submarine. 

The Cayman Islands, in the sub.

  • In The Bahamas, I was eaten alive by bugs and first saw a pink sand beach.
  • In Trinidad, I slept in my mom's childhood home.

Trinidad, the view from Ma's house.

  • In Tobago, I understood why someone would want to come to Trinidad & Tobago.
  • In Barbados, I watched my brother get married on a beach.
  • I've hitchhiked in Lake George.
  • One time I ate a mustard so spicy that my contact lens popped right out of my face and landed on the sidewalk.
  • I interned with my favourite childhood band The Strokes.
  • I've seen Bob Dylan in concert.
  • I lost my virginity because of the outcome of a World Cup final soccer match.
  • I've skydived.
  • I've seen a baby's birth firsthand.

Five minutes after Layla was born, October 2005.

Me & the babe.

  • I've undergone a successful cornea transplant surgery.
  • I've learned never to take my brothers for granted.
  • I met Mike Myers once and he was very nice.
  • I met someone who lives in Ireland in a Foo Fighters chatroom about 15 years ago and we still mail letters to keep in touch.
  • In Amsterdam, I fell hard for a Frenchman and followed him to Paris.
  • In Paris, I celebrated New Year's, ate crepes outside the Eiffel Tower, learned cooking techniques from a master French chef, walked to the top of the Arc de Triomphe, sailed across the river Seine and kissed Oscar Wilde's grave.
  • In Venice, I stole wine, rode in a gondola and had a brief (but memorable) Italian romance.
  • Acquired the entire Perfect Strangers series as Russian bootleg DVDs.
  • In New York City, I've had many midnight rooftop picnics on the Lower East Side, bench-side champagne dalliances in the rain under an umbrella in Central Park, met one of my best friends by picking her up at a bar, had a short play produced and performed in Hell's Kitchen, swam in freezing temperatures in a rooftop hotel pool, saw Woody Allen in his jazz band at The Carlyle, attended Derek Jeter's last Yankee home game and I've been inside the Statue of Liberty's crown.

Manhattan

Robbie in Chicago, 2009.

  • In Miami, I ate the finest steak of my life at (the now closed) Emeril's.
  • In St. Maarten, I went to a nude beach with my parents.
  • In Niagara Falls, I stayed in a vice presidential suite and won a ton at the casino.

Niagara Falls, June 2013.

  • In Las Vegas, I rode that roller coaster that Grissom loved.
  • In Costa Rica, I went canyoneering, ziplined through the rainforest and saw some sloths.

Canyoneering with Marla, Costa Rica 2010.

Ziplining in Costa Rica, 2010.

  • I've seen The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway over 10 times and will see it again.
  • I have buried time capsules with loved ones. 
  • In Aruba, I experienced my first all-inclusive vacation and vowed to never go all-inclusive again.

My parents in Aruba 2011.

  • I have broken both of my feet on separate occasions.
  • I've become proficient in pilates. 
  • In Atlantic City, I saw Lady Gaga perform and roamed the gorgeous boardwalk.
  • In Montreal, I listened to more jazz than ever before.

Montreal, 2011.

  • I have dined and dashed. 
  • I have never dyed my hair.
  • In Ontario, I've made out with strangers on dance floors, had hundreds of sleepovers at my brother's apartment, ate an abnormal amount of poutine, blown bubbles off balconies, learned how to play poker and swam in an infinity pool overlooking the city.

Toronto, 2012.

Poker night in Mississauga, 2015.

  • In Jamaica, I parasailed, helped Nathan learn how to swim and experienced the clearest sea water in the history of mankind.

The view from parasailing, Jamaica 2011.

In the sea, Jamaica 2011.

  • I've maintained a daily blog for two full years with some degree of success.
  • I'm a (magazine) published writer.
  • I became the type of person who enters a dog in a costume contest.

October 2013.

October 2014.

  • I've found work as an editor, greeting card store cashier, HMV seasonal employee, video store clerk, management assistant, daycare worker and part time nanny.
  • In Florida, I had numerous memorable family vacations.

Florida, 2014.

Florida, 1993.

  • I became a godmother.

With Camden, 2014.

  • For almost six years, I've been in love with a man who treats me so well and happens to be handsome as hell.

Nathan, 2014.

If this post seems boastful, I sincerely don't mean it to. I'm so proud of what's happened thus far - and don't think that I don't know for a goddam minute how lucky I am. Everything on this list was possible because of my family and friends. I know how fortunate I am. So what reason is there not to be excited about whatever happens after 30? 

If you're to take anything away from this post, I hope that you start to compile your own list, at whatever age you currently are. The bullet points won't all come to you at once, but they'll trickle in over weeks and you'll slowly start to see how fortunate you are in your own life, if you don't already know. It's important to look back on these things and realize we're all immensely lucky in more ways than we realize, I think.


Woody Allen at The Carlyle Hotel

by Liz Heather in ,


Note: This post will only please you if you have ever given a shit about Woody Allen's mousey little face.  

From September 9th until December 16, 2013, Woody Allen & The Eddy Davis New Orleans Jazz Band will play at The Carlyle Café every Monday night at 8:45pm. 

Does that seem insane to you? It shouldn't because he's been doing it every autumn for years now. Is this something you should go to? Heavens, yes.  

This was something that I'd wanted to see in New York for eons. Why did it take me so long to finally go? Well, because of money. Anytime I'd come into a little bit of cash, I usually tend to throw that away on beautiful steaks and/or frivolous items that I'll never need. 

And then one beautiful day, my boyfriend Nathan told me that he was taking me to see the Wood as my Christmas present. (Also note: I had never mentioned to Nathan how much of a dream this was of mine. So when I lunged at him and asked, "How could you possibly know that this would be the best gift of all time!? I never mentioned it before! How could you know!?" - he responded with, "You talk about this man a LOT.")  

So we finally went one lovely December evening in 2012 and since it started at 8:45pm, I wanted to get there for 3:00pm. Seriously. We were getting bar seats, and those are first-come, first-served so I really wanted to make sure we were there as soon as possible. We, of course, were the first ones there - but people did start to trickle in by 4:00pm. So... if you're intending on sitting at the bar? Get there when I did.  

Anyway, the wait was fine and even a little fun since I was anticipating the evening so much (also, we saw Mick Jagger walk through the lobby, which was something), we ate dinner at the bar which was ridiculously good, of course - and the show? Man. Perfect. The music was good and it was the neatest thing in the world to see that man bust out a clarinet. He seemed to enjoy the hell out of it, too. Definitely something I'll remember for the rest of my life. I love that man. (That above photo of him is so blurry and not-good because I didn't take a lot of photos since it was just so nice to actually be there.) 

Anyway, this isn't even a great story to read or anything - I get that. But if you've ever had any doubts about going to see this, please just do it. Or talk about this man endlessly to your better half until they take you to go see him. 

The tickets are $195 per person for a real fancy/good table, $145 per person if you want to sit at a table and $100 per person + $25 drink min if you want to sit at the bar (which is extremely limited seating). Go here for more information on online reservations.