Words cannot express… the emotions going on inside me right now.
AUTUMN IS A FEW SHORT WEEKS AWAY. This is absolutely the start of the best time of the year because it’s basically autumn eve. That’s how I treat all of early September. Last year I went a little nuts in celebrating every single day of autumn and… I want to go even harder this year. I sort of winged it last year, but this year I’ve already started planning ways to celebrate the best time of the year. I have a problem. I know. But I’ve come to terms with that, so you should too. So let me tell you what went down last month so that we can fully move into the GREATEST, PUREST TIME OF YEAR.
I watched Why Do Fools Fall In Love on Netflix and jesus christ, the dog-being-thrown-out-the-window part? WHY DID NO ONE WARN ME. Will not watch again.
I love a good summer shark/alligator/dumb movie, so we obviously saw Crawl and it was very fun. The dog was the best part. (Are you seeing a pattern here? I’M NOT HARD TO PLEASE, HOLLYWOOD.)
I forced Maya to come to a sunflower farm with me and it was lovely. Why would a person with a bee allergy want to go to such a place? I’m not well.
I rewatched my favourite John Ritter movie Stay Tuned because it’s just something everyone should do once in awhile. Such a weird, perfect movie.
I attempted to read Samantha Irby’s book We Are Never Meeting In Real Life and I just couldn’t get into it, so I stopped. It’s weird ‘cause I really enjoyed Meaty, so I don’t know what happened here. Maybe ‘cause it’s summer and I think I hate reading in the summer? Haven’t picked up a book in months that I wanted to read.
I do not need to be the one who tells you how good hazelnut Kit Kats are, but I guess that’s what I’m doing at the moment - SO GOOD.
I watched part of the new 90210 reboot and ughhhh. It’s awful. In every way. Also, Luke Perry JUST died. They couldn’t have postponed or cancelled this trash?
I watched the first season of Tuca & Bertie and it’s so, so crazy good. Absolutely love it. Thank you to Harmeet for making me watch! I was so skeptical at first, but it’s incredible. So many similarities to Broad City in its goodness.
I went to the CNE with my Mom for the first time is yeeeears and it was so nice.
She did my braids, I can’t do nice braids on myself
Since Restaurant Week is always a big part of my life, I went to Park Avenue Summer for lunch earlier in the month and got the corn bread, corn gnocchi and corn creme brulee. YES, YOU’RE READING THAT RIGHT. Love a fucking cob. It was all very tasty, if not a little too corny (but that’s my fault, let’s be real). I also got the chicken and it was incredible. I’d love to be able to crisp a chicken skin as perfectly as they did.
I made this hot honey salmon and if salmon weren’t such a disgusting fish, this would be a killer recipe. (And if you actually enjoy salmon, this really is great.)
I finally watched the rest of the new Black Mirror episodes and I stand by my thoughts that the Striking Vipers one was the best one of the season. Smithereens was okay and all, I’ll always love a Topher Grace. The main actor (Andrew Scott) did a great job, too. And the Miley Cyrus one was just okay? I don’t understand why that’s the common favourite of the season. It’s average, at best.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it before, but I love reading the (monthly?) Grub Street Diet columns from New York Magazine. They profile different (semi-known, sometimes-famous) people and what they eat in the span of a few days. I mostly love it for recommendations of good things to eat around New York, but also I love hearing about what people do for snacks and routine meals.
I watched all of On My Block on Netflix and it’s so, so good (thank you, Marla!). I’m an idiot for not watching it sooner. My favourite character is definitely Jamal, I love the florist with the gnomes, and the musical choices are phenomenal. Such a great show. If you haven’t seen it, I’d describe it as a modern day coming of age story set in South Central LA inspired by The Goonies. SO GOOD.
Did you know that eating tomatoes helps prevent colon cancer? Did not know. I’m forcing Nathan to eat them now, enough of this “I don’t like tomatoes” shit. Not standing for it anymore!
I went to two weddings this month, which were both beautiful. LOVE a wedding.
I tried the seasonal tomato gelato at Il Laboratorio Del Gelato and it was rough. I did taste the corn gelato and that one was actually pretty good, I should’ve gotten that one. This was my first time here and my main thought: it has a horrifying interior. Like if Patrick Bateman ran an ice cream shop.
Lately I’ve started shopping more at small businesses and less at chains. Partially because these places will disappear if I keep doing what I’m doing and I hate that idea. So no more writing/drinking at Starbucks. No more books from Amazon. No more crazy cheap dish soap at Dollar General. No more plants from Home Depot. Enough of this shit!
This sounds like a broken record, but I did Nathan’s podcast again! We talked about our relationship and why we think it works, etc. etc. Very self-indulgent stuff here, guys.
So you know how I tried and loved that chocolate dessert hummus a few months ago? TRADER JOE’S IS RIPPING IT OFF & has made their own version. For two dollars. Now look, I know companies get ripped off all the time by bigger corporations who steal the idea and make their own… but fuck. This fucking sucks. I first heard and tried dessert hummus because of seeing it on Shark Tank (the company is Delighted By Hummus) and I want to say that they invented the idea, but I can’t say for sure. I hate this.
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m SO excited to see It: Chapter Two, possibly planning out details for a trip to Salem, finishing up the last of the summer things to do list, I’ve gotta find something new and good to read, there are so many photos that I love from visiting my family/friends this summer so I might do a photo post solely of my favourite ones, finalizing my AUTUMN THINGS TO DO list, and I’d really love to pack away all of my summer clothes at some point this month to make room for the gazillion sweaters I’m waiting to wear.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, go on over here!
One more filthy month to go before the best time of the year! Here were the highlights of July:
So you know how much I love the banana pudding from Magnolia already, but what you don't know is that it's probably my favourite summer dessert to make and bring to parties because people go fucking nuts for it. So for July 4th this year I made it, but I also bought some Coffee Crisp chocolate bars to Canadian it up (if you're in the U.S. then you can buy them in the international foods section at Bed Bath & Beyond), then dumped those bars into a food processor to make a COFFEE CRISP CRUMBLE TO GO ATOP THE BANANA PUDDING. And it was heaven.
I ate some of the best fish tacos in NYC at Tacoway Beach in Rockaway near the beach. They're crazy simple but so good, I try to get them once a year so I never grow sick of them. Tip: definitely skip the black bean tacos AND the elote because they are both wildly unpleasing.
I made this Sweet Potato Gnocchi in Spinach Cream Sauce but full disclosure: I bought the sweet potato gnocchi already put together at Trader Joe's, and then just made the sauce from the recipe and it still tasted amazing. There's something I'll never like about buying frozen food from Trader Joe's (I feel like I haven't completely given up on life yet?), but this gnocchi is the exception (this and their cauliflower pizza crust). Will definitely be keeping this one in the food rotation because it was delicious as hell.
I read two books this month and I refuse to stop saying that out loud to people, but I guess I have to move on since it's August soon, so that sucks. The Simpsons one I read was great and the Ijeoma Oluo one was even better!
I did start to read Steve Martin's Born Standing Up and wow was it dull. Don't get me wrong, I think Steve Martin is great. But I read about half of it before collapsing in extreme dissatisfaction. IT'S SO BORING. Why do people think that it's such a good book? Famous comedians will gleefully prattle on about how great it is to one another, which is why I wanted to read it in the first place, so this just doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I was going to just suck it up and keep going until I asked Nathan if it got any better and he very politely told me that it did not. Can someone tell me why it's supposed to be so good? It shoulda been called Bore Standing Up! Okay, that's not a good joke, I know, but it's better than WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE THIS BOOK.
I tried the frozen Irish coffee at Passage in Astoria finally and... it was great! Duh.
Frozen Irish Coffee at Passage in Astoria, Queens
I watched Hannah Gadsby's Nanette on Netflix and didn't really care for it for the first half. The only reason I kept watching was because a friend of mine echoed the same thoughts of the beginning not being good but it getting good the second half. And she was completely right because the second half was powerful as hell. My real thoughts are just a general annoyance at people who plainly say, "It isn't standup." And maybe my opinion on this matters in no way since I'm not a comedian, but it just bothers me that there's this weird line of what standup should or shouldn't be, as if the idea of anything more being said with no punchline isn't worthy enough for the untouchable standup stage. She's a comedian! She said jokes! She also had more to say, which is great. Especially with what's going on in the world right now, it seems weird to purposely not want to comment on that and focus solely on what a comedian "is supposed to do." That idea just seems strange to me.
Nathan and I went to a wedding and it was fun and we looked great. Proof!
I saw a bunch of movies.
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (in theatres) - I mean, a Macarena joke made me laugh so it obviously wasn't a good movie, but some of the kids had a good time so that makes it a success.
Can't Buy Me Love (Netflix) - I'd never seen it and it's a terrible eighties movie so I kind of needed to all of a sudden. Also it was on a list of things leaving Netflix in August so I suddenly felt the urge to grab on tightly before letting it go off into the distance? That's normal?
Girls Trip (HBOGO) - I have no idea why the urge to see this movie happened inside of me. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Not good, but not horrendous.
Ibiza (Netflix) - I guess I've been having real moments lately where I've just been missing certain groups of friends and watching these ridiculous movies puts me at ease a bit maybe? I don't know, let's not analyze it. Oh! The music from this one was really great, though. Also, Gillian Jacobs' eyes are so ginormous, I'm always shocked that men aren't looking for a woman with huge eyes instead of a huge ass or boobs, makes no fucking sense to me. Her eyes are insane!
Obvious Child (Netflix) - Jenny Slate can do no wrong and of course this movie was great. Other than all the cringe-inducing standup scenes (that are supposed to be cringe-inducing, I'm assuming), it was just a nice movie. The music from this one was pretty great, too.
I tried the new Crispy Chicken at Swiss Chalet and it was really tasty because of course it was, anything fried is most likely amazing. It's funny to me that they're not just calling it fried chicken. Obviously it's purposeful too, like they're thinking that if they did call it fried chicken it'd sound too Americanized or something. That's definitely something they thought. "No, calling it Crispy Chicken just makes it seem healthier, like it was just slightly dunked into hot, frying oil and not, like, submerged for hours."
I've had an iPhone 5 for three years and the battery had gone completely to shit (ie. dying at 80%) a few weeks ago, so I took it to Mobile Klinik (outside of Wal-Mart on the first floor of Square One in Mississauga) and they replaced the battery for me within an hour and it only cost me $60 and now it's been working amazingly. They were super nice and it came with a one year warranty, so definitely keep this in mind if you're ever in need of their services.
The only thing I've ever eaten at Dominique Ansel Kitchen was the burrata soft serve ice cream from a few years ago, but I stopped by recently and had the cold pear yogurt and hot toasted granola and maaaaaaan why can't the version I make at home taste as good as theirs. WHY.
Cold Pear Yogurt & Hot Toasted Granola, Dominique Ansel Kitched
A friend told me about this great site Zaful that has gorgeous swimsuits for crazy cheap and are actually good quality. Are you even kidding me with how gorgeous those marbled ones look?!
Tried the soft serve at Tom's Dairy Freeze in Etobicoke finally and it was goooooood because all ice cream is good.
Tom's Dairy Freeze in Etobicoke, ON
I went to see the Scarborough Bluffs with Marla and some of my nieces and it's such a beautiful place. So glad we went.
Finn & Marla!
Layla, me, Maya!
It's Restaurant Week in New York right now (it actually lasts a few weeks), so I'm hoping to eat at some places I've always wanted to go to. So far I've only gone to Astor Court inside the St. Regis hotel, but it was so, so good. Here's what I had.
And that was July!
I'm a little shocked that I'm still keeping up with these monthly posts, here are the ones from May & June if you'd care to read about them.
I've been friends with these guys for almost twenty years, and that warrants a post. Stud recently got engaged and had probably the best engagement party that's every happened, and that's where this photo was taken. Cannot WAIT for that wedding.
Anyway, do people still stay in close contact with their middle school friends? Is that still a thing? I really hope it is.
I know, I know - how could this youthful, ageless beauty be turning a fully functioning adult age? Beats me, but it's happening. And I think I'm kind of pumped about it. Why, you ask? 'Cause these past 29 years have been some of the most fortunate ones that any human could have asked for. Really. And I want to list some of the greatest things that I've experienced thus far.
(If you judge me for making this list and/or being proud of it, then I think you might be missing my point here. In which case, skip the list altogether and proceed to the final two paragraphs.)
Highlights Of The Past 29 Years
I was a co-lead in my fifth grade musical production of Newsies (or the more accurately titled "Extra! Extra! Read All About It!")
I've learned to play the piano, alto saxophone and bass guitar.
I met someone who lives in Ireland in a Foo Fighters chatroom about 15 years ago and we still mail letters to keep in touch.
In Amsterdam, I fell hard for a Frenchman and followed him to Paris.
In Paris, I celebrated New Year's, ate crepes outside the Eiffel Tower, learned cooking techniques from a master French chef, walked to the top of the Arc de Triomphe, sailed across the river Seine and kissed Oscar Wilde's grave.
In Venice, I stole wine, rode in a gondola and had a brief (but memorable) Italian romance.
Acquired the entire Perfect Strangers series as Russian bootleg DVDs.
In Cape Cod, I exclusively ate red meat for five straight days.
In Chicago, I saw great art.
Robbie in Chicago, 2009.
In Miami, I ate the finest steak of my life at (the now closed) Emeril's.
In St. Maarten, I went to a nude beach with my parents.
In Niagara Falls, I stayed in a vice presidential suite and won a ton at the casino.
Niagara Falls, June 2013.
In Las Vegas, I rode that roller coaster that Grissom loved.
In Costa Rica, I went canyoneering, ziplined through the rainforest and saw some sloths.
Canyoneering with Marla, Costa Rica 2010.
Ziplining in Costa Rica, 2010.
I've seen The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway over 10 times and will see it again.
I have buried time capsules with loved ones.
In Aruba, I experienced my first all-inclusive vacation and vowed to never go all-inclusive again.
My parents in Aruba 2011.
I have broken both of my feet on separate occasions.
I've become proficient in pilates.
In Atlantic City, I saw Lady Gaga perform and roamed the gorgeous boardwalk.
In Montreal, I listened to more jazz than ever before.
Montreal, 2011.
I have dined and dashed.
I have never dyed my hair.
In Ontario, I've made out with strangers on dance floors, had hundreds of sleepovers at my brother's apartment, ate an abnormal amount of poutine, blown bubbles off balconies, learned how to play poker and swam in an infinity pool overlooking the city.
Toronto, 2012.
Poker night in Mississauga, 2015.
In Jamaica, I parasailed, helped Nathan learn how to swim and experienced the clearest sea water in the history of mankind.
The view from parasailing, Jamaica 2011.
In the sea, Jamaica 2011.
I've maintained a daily blog for two full years with some degree of success.
I'm a (magazine) published writer.
I became the type of person who enters a dog in a costume contest.
October 2013.
October 2014.
I've found work as an editor, greeting card store cashier, HMV seasonal employee, video store clerk, management assistant, daycare worker and part time nanny.
In Florida, I had numerous memorable family vacations.
Florida, 2014.
Florida, 1993.
I became a godmother.
With Camden, 2014.
For almost six years, I've been in love with a man who treats me so well and happens to be handsome as hell.
Nathan, 2014.
If this post seems boastful, I sincerely don't mean it to. I'm so proud of what's happened thus far - and don't think that I don't know for a goddam minute how lucky I am. Everything on this list was possible because of my family and friends. I know how fortunate I am. So what reason is there not to be excited about whatever happens after 30?
If you're to take anything away from this post, I hope that you start to compile your own list, at whatever age you currently are. The bullet points won't all come to you at once, but they'll trickle in over weeks and you'll slowly start to see how fortunate you are in your own life, if you don't already know. It's important to look back on these things and realize we're all immensely lucky in more ways than we realize, I think.
