October Occurrences 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , , ,


Forgive the lateness of this monthly post! I wish I could say it’s late because I’ve been crazy busy, but it’s really been because I’ve been lounging my ass around various corners of my parent’s house and trying my best to not watch any American news. Here’s what went down last month.

  • I started watching The Parkers and, as expected, it’s pretty great. Kim for life.

  • I got a lash lift aaaaaand it was bullshit. My eyes have never been more irritated and that’s coming from someone who went through corneal surgery. I think lash lifts are supposed to be for people who already have long lashes. But if you have long lashes, then why the hell do you need them to be lifted? SCAM.

  • Are eyelash curlers bad for people with short lashes? I was told they were. But that was by someone who also recently fucked my lashes, so I’m not sure what to believe now.

  • So many new movies were watched in October: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely great), Motel Hell (also great), Moment of Truth: Stalking Back (too real, a little hard to watch, but I’m really looking forward to watching other made-for-tv-movies from the series), Hush (a great movie, but again: too much, I might not be able to handle modern horror & I’m fine with that), Summer Camp Nightmare (great), Goodnight Mommy (parts of it were really cringe-y to watch but it was incredible), Mom (so, so underrated), Wolf (it was actually pretty good, how on earth had I not seen it before?), House on Haunted Hill (the old version and it was great! It ends abruptly but it’s still a fun movie), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (80s as hell, but not as terrible as I thought it’d be), Creepshow 2 (just a good time), Frogs (terrible and not in a fun way), Cujo (just a story of neglectful pet owners), Night of the Demons (not bad, not good), This Is Paris (it was really, really good. It’s definitely hard to watch if you’ve dealt with abuse in any way, but it’s really well done) and I got through about nine minutes of Cats before I just had to call it.

  • The next season of Shrill started filming!

  • I finally went to Sleepy Hollow and wrote about it over here.

  • A recipe for mini meatloaf ghosts created by the ever-delightful, Chef John.

  • Among the top three of funniest Fresh Prince scenes ever.

  • Ate the hazelnut & cappuccino cronut this month and it was spectacular.

  • Started getting the cashew yogurt from Trader Joe’s and it’s so addictive.

  • The new SNLs have been all right, nothing special. And look, I love Jim Carrey. Forever will. But he isn’t good as Biden. It’s such a weird choice. Highlight of the episodes this month? The Bieber performances, surprisingly.

  • I made the Impossible Burger at home (you can buy them at any Fairway Market) and they’re absolutely the top veggie burger on the market today. So damn good.

  • There’s this restaurant in Mississauga (Erin Mills Pump & Patio) that does such a good job of replicating this now-off-menu pasta that I used to love from Snug Harbour and I’m so thankful to have found it. (It’s the Hunters Penne Pasta with chicken, cremini and shitake mushrooms, Italian parsley, black truffle oil in a white wine cream sauce incase you want to taste heaven.)

  • We went to Downey’s on Halloween this year and for the first time got their homemade cheese bread. Life will never be the same. Some photos of the day below.

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🎃🎃🎃 🔁: @kjp

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  • If you find yourself in NYC in November, I beg you… please go eat the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar. You will regret nothing.

Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: reading Lindy West’s new book, decorating my parent’s house for the Christmas season, and SNOW.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in September over here.


August Actions 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


First things first, welcome to (under normal circumstances) the best time of the year. Will this perfect time of year be different than previous years? Of course. We’re all still trying to function in this modern version of hell. SO that being said, I am still going to try and make the most of the seasonal things I like to do (minus seeing the people that I love and haven’t seen for almost a year, eating the baked goods from places that I’m not allowed to visit, or being able to just hug my family). MINUS ALL OF THAT. I will cook what I cannot go out to eat. I will watch the movies in my home that I’d normally insist on watching with others. I will decorate. I will light all of the autumn-scented candles that I can get my grubby hands on. Autumn will happen and I will do the best that I can. And I encourage you to do the same. Here’s what happened last month:

  • Two more songs that I love off of Taylor Swift’s new album: epiphany and mad woman. It’s fast becoming my album of the summer (I’m, like, super indie, I know).

  • Blue Diamond has these flavoured almonds out right now and the salt & vinegar as well as the dill pickle flavours… are insanely good.

  • I sent this to my mom and she loved it as much as I do (below).

Scott Hubbard (@scottyhubs) has created a short video on TikTok with music sonido original. | This was in my drafts 😂 #fyp #tiktokpets #dog #cosplay

  • I tried samples of the Verb Ghost Shampoo, Hair Mask and Spray and they were all equal parts bullshit. Who sends out a spray sample in a small packet, so that it can’t be sprayed? Ignoring the idiotic packaging, the products themselves just fell flat. Absolutely nothing special here.

  • I tried Ops Pizza in Brooklyn and it was great! Better than Prince Street or Mama’s Too? Not a chance. Still good, though.

  • My friend Dusty has a movie premiering at TIFF! Too incredible.

  • I finally got to eat the tomato focaccia from Lilia and now I can’t get it off my mind and have to go get it again before summer is over.

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Tomato focaccia @caffelilia #KeepItSimple

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  • I bought this mask off of Etsy in anticipation of October’s arrival.

  • I also got this Tan Lines candle that smells incredible. I know it’s basic as hell but candles might be saving my life.

  • I tried beef carpaccio for the first time (!) at L’Artusi and it was great! I’d describe it as a lighter, more dainty steak tartare.

  • I also tried the vegan chicken parm sandwich at VSPOT and dear lord was it good. Tasted exactly like a regular chicken parm. Must remember this place and go again.

Oneya (@angryreactions) has created a short video on TikTok with music original sound. | #duet with @bobbysrey that cake is beautiful. #fyp #foryou

  • Some movies that I rewatched: It’s Complicated (the family of children is so annoying in this movie, but I love all of the adults and the food and it’s just comforting to watch) and Adventures in Babysitting (a perfect movie).

  • I started rewatching Moesha and it’s great to see again, but I can’t believe I didn’t notice how incredible the side character of Kim is! She holds the show together! Obviously, this realization makes me excited for when her spinoff show The Parkers comes to Netflix next month.

  • I bought this strawberry shampoo from The Body Shop (impulse buy for $5) and the smell reminds me so much of being in middle school (meaning this in a good way). Is it a great shampoo? Meh.

  • I tried a decent sized sample of the moisturizing cream from Sunday Riley and the best part about it is the smell. I can’t imagine a world in which I’d pay $65 for a basic moisturizer, though, so that says it all.

  • Forever in love with this summer panzanella salad.

  • I tried that anchovy pasta that Mindy Kaling recommended and it’s basic as hell, wouldn’t make again.

  • I made my first purchase from Everlane and the quality of the shirt is beautiful, if not a little shapeless. Will I buy from them again? Probably not. It’s just so bland for the price point.

  • New songs I keep playing on repeat: Surrender by Natalie Taylor, Savage by Megan Thee Stallion, and (*drops head*) this dance remix to a Taylor Swift song (stop judging me).

  • I own it already, but I’m so happy to hear that Safety Not Guaranteed is back on Netflix. Everyone should watch it. The ending is amazing.

  • I’m using the new Trader Joe’s Strawberry Lemon Sugar Scrub and does it do anything magical? Not really. The smell is incredible, but there’s something gross about the little strawberry seeds in the scrub. No thanks.

  • New watch alert! $25 at Nordstrom. I’ve been making fun of Nathan having a gold watch for some time now and then realized it might be because I was jealous and wanted one of my own. So here we are.

  • Idea: take hot baths in the summer. I never used to do this and it’s so relaxing. It doesn’t make any sense.

  • I tried the vegan burger patties from Trader Joe’s and they’re only okay, I wouldn’t get them again. The Impossible Burger is hands down the best one I’ve tried, with a close second place to the Beyond Burger.

  • I love this idea for basil breadcrumbs on top of a lasagna.

  • The Met reopened (as well as their rooftop installation) and I can’t bring myself to go. I know they’re taking precautions and all, but I just don’t want to do it. It does look incredible, though.

  • I tried the brunch burger at Vite Vinosteria in Astoria and I know I say this a lot, but holy shit. Might be the best burger in Astoria? What the hell is with Italian restaurants having these sleeper hit burgers all of a sudden? Vesta is the same way! Either way, I’m not complaining. I mean, look at this beast.

Brunch burger at Vite Vinosteria in Astoria

  • I started a Might Buy bookmark category in my browser window, to cut down on impulse buying and really care about what I spend my money on. Here’s a list of things that I can’t decide if I want to buy or not:

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I think I’m going to start rewatching Friday Night Lights, I’m also working on my October list of what to watch each day that month, I’m so excited that Ijeoma Oluo’s new book has a release date of December 2020, and I’m excited to finish the new book I’m reading (that you’ll be hearing about imminently).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in July over here.


July Jiffs 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


This was me all month.

giphy.gif

The key word being was. We bought an air conditioner! We’ve been an A/C-free family for some time now, but since we’re spending so much time at home, we figured now was the time to be cool. In other news, everything still blows! What a shock! Here’s how I spent July.

  • I didn’t even know another Halloween movie was being made but of course I’ll go see it even if it turns out to be trash, you gotta support classic horror franchises, that’s just basic horror etiquette 101.

  • This is the most basic, boring-sounding sandwich on planet earth, but it tastes incredible I promise you (I didn’t add bacon, but I did add fresh mozzarella) and whatever bread you use, it’ll still be great. I find myself constantly forgetting about the greatness of mayo because I, my dear, am an idiot.

  • I ordered a bunch of new address labels on Zazzle because they were having a Christmas in July sale, so I bought some seasonally inspired labels to use over the next few months. If you’re not seasonally co-ordinating your return address labels, are you even living?

  • I’m still doing Nathan’s podcast on Patreon incase you’re interested. (You can find more clips on his Instagram.)

  • I attempted to watch the new Baby-Sitter’s Club on Netflix and it’s really not meant for me. I was never into the books or the movie or any of it, I never liked the idea of kids caring about making money, it seemed too sad to me. “Just be a kid!” I’d always thought.

  • Speaking of childhood nostalgia, I have started to watch reruns online of Sweet Valley High, which I loved as a kid. It’s no Breaker High, but it’s still pretty great to rewatch. God, Jessica really was an absolute bitch.

  • Some other things that I’ve rewatched: Con Air (practically a perfect movie, will always love, *Nic Cage forever* might be the only tattoo I’d ever get), Supermarket Sweep is on American Netflix and I was so excited (for about three episodes) then I moved on with my life, Sleepless in Seattle (still a very nice, average, reliable movie), Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (actually a really great summer movie, will always be a fun time to watch, will forever be a huge Keanu fan, I just feel like I could trust him??), and Dick Tracy (will always love this movie even if it has eight million too many montages, the set design is gorgeous, and this one outfit that Madonna wears makes me question… everything).

  • Some new movies that I’ve watched: Always Be My Maybe (so, so great! How did it take me so long to see this! So many good scenes, such a good movie), The Karate Kid (insane that I hadn’t seen it before, kids were uncomfortably mean in the 80s, favourite part was when Mr. Miyagi beats up the children, great movie), The Stepfather (pretty fun time, so happy we’ve starting watching horror movies again), Eat Pray Love (ugh, I don’t know, I do love movies about women just leaving and doing fun shit alone and abandoning their lives, but this was pretty lame, I hated James Franco’s character more than life and truly didn’t understand how Julia Roberts was even briefly into him), and finally the original The Hills Have Eyes (which I loved weirdly enough despite being incredibly tense the entire movie, I just thought it was so well done and scary and incredible, the rape scene is of course awful and I shut my eyes for that part, but that was the only thing I hated, it doesn’t make sense that I liked this movie so much).

  • I don’t know how to word this, but something is off with the reasonably priced (and almost too cheap) parmesan sold at Trader Joe’s. It melts weird. It doesn’t taste like normal cheese. Something is afoot and I won’t buy it any longer. I’m truly dreading and equally anticipating the day that all of Trader Joe’s secrets are exposed. Be warned.

  • That being said, obviously I’m in love with the seasonal summer candles that TJ just released. We have a complicated relationship.

Trader Joe summer candle trio, 2020

  • I made this gruyere mac and cheese with caramelized onions (I used almond milk and it still came out good) and can every recipe just include caramelized onions? The world is ending, let’s just put sweet, tiny, brown onions on everything and call it a day.

  • Ennio Morricone passed away last month and I find myself listening to the Cinema Paradiso soundtrack on repeat.

  • Read this great piece about summer blockbuster movies which also has just some great ideas for movies to rewatch right now.

  • I have to remember that Essie’s vibrant colours just f-ing suck. Only their muted/bland colours are good. They should really just stick to those. And if you’re looking for loud colours that stand out, the summer collection at Urban Outfitters is my go-to (and there’s always a 3 for $10 sale with them).

  • I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and so far my favourites are definitely: the 1 and this is me trying.

  • Ugh, Astoriaaaaaa, DO BETTER.

  • I’ve been thinking about cancelling my Ipsy subscription again (because I think I don’t care about makeup at this current moment in time) and when I logged on to cancel, they let me choose one of the items being sent next month as if they knew I wanted to leave! So I chose a Sunday Riley product (because any sample I’ve tried from them, I’ve loved) so maybe I’ll cancel next month?

  • I tried a sample of Drunk Elephant’s shampoo & conditioner (which smelled so lovely) and my hair did seem softer the next day. There’s something about this brand though, I feel like they might be tricking us with their beautiful packaging and minimalist persona.

  • I bought and tried the ancient Biore Strips and I have absolutely no idea if they did what they’re supposed to do. Are you supposed to see the blackheads or whiteheads come off onto the strip? It felt like it just tried to peel my face off. No idea what’s going on with these.

  • I have been in love with the Peter Thomas Roth Correction Pads, I use one pad before bed each night and I think they’re doing something good because I always wake up with no new pimples. It has even started erasing all of the redness I’ve been experiencing lately from the summer heat and sweat and mask-wearing. At this point, I can definitely see myself rebuying when I run out, and if I do then I’ll definitely not get them from Sephora because you can get them way cheaper at other online retailers.

  • I’ve also started using this Dr. Dennis Gross All-In-One face cleanser and I think it’s a good one. It’s hard to tell because I started using it the same day at the correction pads I mentioned above (yes that was a bad idea but here we are), so maybe they’re working together to make my face good? We’ll revisit this.

  • I finally opened up this Belif set I bought a few months ago and it’s really nothing special. I think the face cream is probably the best item in there because you truly don’t need to use a lot to feel moisturized. But the face cleanser? Meh. I don’t think it does very much, it definitely didn’t help any redness. And the toner? Don’t get me started on how I kind of think toner might be a scam. And the “eye moisturizer”? Seems superfluous. My eye area is plenty moist, thanks.

  • Perfect summer soap scent: Fresh Rainfall. If I can’t travel this year, I will escape into this scent. (Send help.)

  • Very excited to hear about Lindy West’s new book.

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IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! This is the official cover for my next book, Shit, Actually, which you can preorder now and receive in Oct! I am SO EXCITED TO RELEASE THIS BOOK. Obviously Shrill changed my life and I worked harder on The Witches Are Coming than anything I’ve ever made, but frankly Shit, Actually is my favorite because it is just me in my purest form: being a bitch about movies. It was so therapeutic to write this book, a kind of return to myself and my beginnings, and it absolutely saved me to just sit and make myself laugh, day after day, during the early pandemic. I cannot wait for you to read this. (And let’s sell the shit out of it so I can write 10 sequels!) Also no joke I deserve a Grammy for the audiobook. 💖 ###### // New York Times opinion writer and bestselling author Lindy West was once the in-house movie critic for Seattle’s alternative newsweekly The Stranger, where she covered film with brutal honesty and giddy irreverence. In Shit, Actually, Lindy returns to those roots, re-examining beloved and iconic movies from the past 40 years with an eye toward the big questions of our time: Is Twilight the horniest movie in history? Why do the zebras in The Lion King trust Mufasa-WHO IS A LION-to look out for their best interests? Why did anyone bother making any more movies after The Fugitive achieved perfection? And, my god, why don’t any of the women in Love, Actually ever fucking talk?!?! From Forrest Gump, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and Bad Boys II, to Face/Off, Top Gun, and The Notebook, Lindy combines her razor-sharp wit and trademark humor with a genuine adoration for nostalgic trash to shed new critical light on some of our defining cultural touchstones-the stories we’ve long been telling ourselves about who we are. At once outrageously funny and piercingly incisive, Shit, Actually reminds us to pause and ask, “How does this movie hold up?”, all while teaching us how to laugh at the things we love without ever letting them or ourselves off the hook. Shit, Actually is a love letter and a break-up note all in one: to the films that shaped us and the ones that ruined us. More often than not, Lindy finds, they’re one and the same.

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  • So I heard that Lady M now ships their cakes to Canada and I was able to scream in excitement for approx. four seconds before looking into it and seeing that it’ll cost you over $100 to get ONE cake sent. THE GALL, I tell you. THE GALL.

  • I briefly looked into the app Sweatcoin after hearing good things, but it really just seems like an app where its main goal is to track you. And yes, your phone already does that whether you’re aware or not, but I think I’ll pass on the extra tracking.

  • I heard that the upcoming Halloween Bob’s Burgers episode will “follow the kids as they try to deliver a burger to the hotel on their street.” It’s such a sad little bit of tiny information, but I love their seasonal episodes so much that I’ll take any crumbs available.

  • Actually helpful tips on how to clean your home efficiently.

  • Christ, why do I keep forgetting that Bareburger is absolutely nothing special? Why in the good fuck is it taking so long for a Shake Shack to come to Astoria?!

  • I ate on the patio at Hoja Santa in Astoria and the tacos were nothing to write home about. The service, drinks and chips were outstanding though, so I may have just ordered badly.

  • New favourite beer alert.

  • Best tweets of the month ahead.

  • I tried Thai iced coffee and it was so wildly sweet and too aromatic, I probably wouldn’t get it again. And I also tried a Vietnamese iced coffee and it was the perfect level of sweet! What’s the difference between the two, you ask?

  • I finally tried the katsu sandwich at Hi-Collar as takeout in the East Village and it was absolutely nothing special. No idea why people are so into it.

  • I haven’t been to Bite in so many months, so it was nice to get takeout earlier this week. God how I’ve missed their ciabatta bread. They use it on their sandwiches and it comes from Balthazar each morning and it’s always heavenly.

  • I have found the perfect, light summer blanket and I’m trying not to focus on the fact that it came from Amazon.

  • I tried a grapefruit shandy and holy shit, it might be my favourite new summer drink.

  • I ate on the patio at L’Artusi since it just reopened and good god, that carbonara will change you. So psyched to see they have the wagyu steak tartare on the menu now, too. The burger, the panzanella salad and the charred corn were all great, but that carbonara was the standout.

Yeah, I’m NOT gonna get a Manhattan??

Carbonara heaven, 'L’Artusi

L’Burger with roasted potatoes at L’Artusi

Sweet Irene!

Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d love to try this tomato toast with blue cheese mayo, I’m going to start using a new clothes steamer I just bought with the hopes of getting rid of my iron & ironing board, I rebought a tube of Revitalash because of how great my lashes were looking when I used it a few years ago so I’ll start using it on August 1st and track my progress to prove how great this product is, I can’t wait for Moesha to be coming to Netflix this month, and I am waiting waiting waiting until I can find time to return to Lilia (on the patio) to eat this incredible tomato focaccia & garlic butter (shown below).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in June over here.