I hope you had the most merry Christmas possible, I really do. Mine was definitely different from our family’s norm, but it still turned out to be intimate and special. I never thought I’d get a Christmas with my parents and Nathan and Baby Dog all together at once, so that’s kind of a wish come true. In such an awful year, it felt so nice to get something so unexpectedly perfect. A part of it felt empty without Gary and Robbie, but if this year has taught me anything it’s to appreciate what you’re lucky enough to have right infront of you.
In other news, are you impressed with how on-time this end-of-month list is this month? I hope you are. I live to impress you. Here’s what went down in December:
I made my winter list of things to do for the season because I physically can’t stop making lists. It gives my life a sense of direction.
Instagram took away the option to embed your own photos (or changed it & I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT), so if you know how to please please god tell me.
When I was making the Nutella cookies for Christmastime this year, I finally learned how to successfully brown butter! It really helps to use a white-bottomed pan so that you can see the browning process happen.
We did the Polar Drive by the airport and it was very cute. Would’ve been perfect for kids.
I watched the first episode of the new Saved By The Bell and it was cringe city USA. Just really horrendous. There were oddly maybe two parts that were really funny, so the whole experience was just confusing.
Just learned about the existence of mod podge and crafting will never be the same again.
Someone on the Food Network suggested mixing ricotta and cheddar for something and I can’t get it out of my head, I never would’ve put those cheeses together but now it’s all that I want to try.
Such a good waxing experience at Waxon. The wax they use is like magic, it hurts so much less than at regular waxing places.
I have been washing Baby Dog’s face like this almost every night since I saw this video and she loves it.
Some movies I rewatched: The Craft (god, I love the outfits in this movie), Misery (great winter watch, still makes me sick to watch the feet scene), Reindeer Games (again, just a fun winter movie) and Alive (are you seeing a theme here? Love snowy movies without Christmas overtones).
I watched the Love Fraud documentary series and it was really, really good. Especially because in the last episode you get to hear from the main guy its based around.
In love with this white teeny tank I just bought. I have this fantasy of wearing it braless in the streets when we’re all vaccinated. Not sure if this will happen, but in my mind? Christ, it’s hot.
I made this cranberry-rosemary julep and yikes it was strong, but not delicious strong. Giada isn’t great at drinks, she should just stick to over-pronouncing Italian pastas and cheeses.
I reeeeally wanted this tulle bra from Zara but it sold out before I could get it, so I bought this blush lingerie one instead. I can almost guarantee that when I put it on Nathan will tell me to calm down.
I’m not a terribly original person, so I’ll forever love a life hack. Love this list.
I’ve been using this great hair finish every day for a month because it’s been laying around my parent’s house, but I can’t find it available anywhere online.
I find it boring that women posing on social media showing an inch of a fat roll are considered courageous and shocking. We’re all courageous. Every woman that leaves her goddamn house is courageous.
love how the new lockdown order is just like “it’s illegal to be outside your home unless you feel like doing an activity that either makes or spends money”
My dad has been doing a huge amount of childcare for us in quarantine so I’m delighted to announce my 1-year old baby gestures and shrugs like a 64-year old Jewish man.
I found this in a file. It has to be the best match of headline and author photo ever. Like Newsweek giving birth to The Onion. pic.twitter.com/Dw79Z6CZpz
I’ve seen Star Wars: A New Hope over thirty times, but this was the first time I ever realized that Chewbacca looks exactly like John Travolta. pic.twitter.com/An87eWxYMZ
my grandma just asked me if i had a boyfriend and i was like “no” and she was like “well i went to a random funeral because i was bored and that’s how i met your grandfather” ??????
One time Bill Hader came into the restaurant I worked at, stood directly in front of me, looked at the menu, noticed it was a vegan restaurant and said, “Oh sorry, I’m sorry” and left. Perfect interaction.
Vaccine companies need to team up with fast food companies because NOBODY has EVER questioned what's in a nugget/burger/spicy chicken sandwich from a building with a clown mascot or a paper crown
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: all of the snow that’s coming, I’m excited to sit down and listen to Taylor Swift’s evermore album, I still want to watch the newest season of Big Mouth, I’m so f-ing pumped for the return of Riverdale, might bite the bullet and buy this Glossier lip gloss that’s apparently NOT sticky (how is that even possible?), I really want to watch Soul, I can’t wait to make this carbonara on New Year’s Day and I’ll definitely do everything on this list for January 1st. Also, if you’re reading this on New Year’s Eve, then get your ass over here.
Remember when winter was here last and we were on full lockdown? And… here we are again? Maybe I shouldn’t have reminded you of that fact. But that being said, this winter list will be the most low maintenance list I’ve probably ever done because, well, that’s the law.
Build at least one snowman or snow-woman.
Arrange a decadent charcuterie board on New Year’s Eve.
If the city permits it, go ice skating.
Find a hill & sled down that hill.
Use up all of my winter stationary by sending out as much mail as my pen will allow me.
Wherever you are, I hope you’re staying warm and staying safe.
Winter is upon on! Yes, that seems insane, but what isn’t insane at this point in time? I normally would be excited about a season full of staying inside, but that’s all of our lives now… so… there’s that. Here’s how my autumn list turned out.
Make an apple dessert.
Truly forgot about this one since Thanksgiving was pretty much cancelled this year and Tianna wasn’t around to request that I make it.
Damnit, I forgot to do this one. I really want to one day.
Make homemade hot toddies.
I did and it was good, but it took waaaaay too long. Definitely a drink you order while you’re out somewhere so someone else has to make it.
Have the most epic Halloween possible since it falls on a full moon this year and that, my dear, is magical.
I did my absolute best and it went just as I’d hoped.
3/5 is respectable! It’s a miracle that I’m still writing and attempting these seasonal lists. I promise to take them even more seriously next year. Winter, here we go…
Wonderful, another month has come and gone. It’s hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood these days. I feel like all of my moods are sprinkled with bits of sadness since it’s been such a rough year on everyone. It seems hard to be hopeful and optimistic for the coming months because of everything that has gone on already, but I think I’ll continue on with my internal mantra of “fake it ‘til you make it” - that’s healthy, right? In any case, here’s what happened last month:
I usually don’t mention the things that I don’t do, but this one is notable: I didn’t have the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar this year (because I’m in Canada at the moment). So this is really just a reminder to myself to go hog-wild on them next November.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned them before, but the ready-made roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke? A PERFECT SANDWICH.
I rewatched the original (better) Jumanji and goddamit what a great movie. How did I forget what a perfect movie that was? Miss Robin Williams so much. Which reminds me: I gotta rewatch Jack soon (Coppola’s greatest movie, in my humble opinion). Haven’t seen that one in ages.
Love the new “Oat Milk Latte” nail polish colour at Urban Outfitters. Something about a boring neutral has been really turning me on lately.
The best new hand lotion I’ve used in a long time: this Kiehl’s Hand Salve. I put it on once in the morning and once before bed and it’s crazy how soft it makes them, even if you wash your hands numerous times a day (which, god, I hope you’re doing).
I know that I tend to live in the past at times, but are you ever needing to print some photos fast and don’t know where to get it done? Years ago, they had machines at Shoppers and then they disappeared. And I just discovered that Staples has those print-right-now machines! It takes seconds to print from your phone and it’s crazy cheap. I think you can only get 4 x 6 in size, but still. That’s great!
I’ll always love Cobs Bread (thanks to Marla years ago for introducing me) but I just tried their garlic focaccia and my god. Heavenly. It also makes a great base for any kind of at-home grilled cheese or even an at-home garlic bread using garlic butter.
So I tried the Popeye’s chicken sandwich that people were stabbing each other for and… I fully understand the murdering mentality. It’s an incredible chicken sandwich. I was expecting not to understand the hype, but here I stand before you, four chicken sandwiches deep.
I’ve been consistently using the Luna Night Oil from Sunday Riley (a small version that came with a gift set) and I think it’s really working well. My skin looks amazing in the morning after each use. So I might bite the bullet and buy the full size when I run out.
Just so sad to see this man pass away.
And I can’t forget this great one, too.
I simply cannot stop ordering the vegetable fried rice from Fortune Dragon in Mississauga. Can’t and WON’T.
I had such a terrible experience using Skip The Dishes the other night (there was a problem with an order and the restaurant refused to fix the problem and I was on the phone with STD (hahah, can we all call them this from now on PLEASE) for over an hour, just disgusting). So now they’re banned in our house.
And speaking of annoying food experiences, Scaddabush got rid of the best sandwich on their menu. What. the. hell. It was a prosciutto cotto grilled cheese with Italian cured ham, caramelized onions, mozzarella, and fig jam on a focaccia bun and IT IS NO MORE. I did attempt to make it at home one night and it was actually really good, but still. Who wants to spend their evenings caramelizing onions for hours in the kitchen? Well, I do, for one. But regardless! Bad move, Scaddabush.
If you’re looking for a dog groomer in Mississauga, I can’t say enough good things about You Lucky Dog Grooming. They cut Baby Dog’s nails perfectly for $10 and it took less than five minutes. They were so gentle and caring, definitely only gonna go here from now on.
There were a few massive holes in the ceiling in my parents basement (an estimate said it would be $1000 to fix) so I went to Home Depot, got the supplies and did it myself. This is something I would never even want to do, let alone actually do, so the fact that it’s fixed now is insane. Here's what it looked like.
This whole job cost $17 from Home Depot. Nothing is impossible.
Yes, I love them. Yes, they look perfect every single day and that’s amazing. But no one tells you the cons, so let me tell you what they are.
Pressing buttons is an annoyance. The buttons of debit machines especially (I’ve incorrectly put in my pin about three times so far), but also remote controls and car radio dials.
Peeling onions or garlic. Or cutting anything on a cutting board in the kitchen, basically.
You know after a shower when you towel off the wet parts of the inside of your ears? Can’t be done.
All zippers and buttons add at least five minutes to your life.
Look, I’m not an animal but sometimes your nose needs a little cleaning when a tissue ain’t gonna cut it. That being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick your nose with these.
Typing at your regular speed.
Peeling clementines is simply out of the question (which is annoying because they’re so in season right now).
Putting on and taking off necklaces.
And most of all, yes you can still scratch parts of your body, but it’s an unfulfilling scratch. These nails aren’t as sharp as my real ones, so the scratch is lackluster.
That being said, I do love them. I’m not sure if I’ll get them again, but they’re beautiful and I can definitely see the appeal.
I watched a few episodes of Somebody Feed Phil with my brother Robbie and it’s a pretty cute show. I only watched the New York, New Orleans, Venice & San Francisco episodes, but I’m sure I’ll watch the rest soon. I think I liked it because the host really lets the guests be the charming, endearing ones, and most TV hosts aren’t very good at that.
So since we missed both Thanksgivings this year, we picked a random day to do our turkey dinner and this year I did the rub for the bird (Mom handled all the gross stuff) and it came out amazing! Also made my favourite salad dressing (love a shallot in a dressing), this perfect cranberry sauce and best garlic bread. And instead of a whole pie, we just got mini pumpkin tarts from Whole Foods. The next day, I finally made the moist maker sandwich (from Friends) and it turned out really well.
Turkey a la Liz
The leftover sandwich, the next day
Best tweets of the month ahead:
men be like ”I love a girl with confidence” and then destroys it
I see tweets like, “Dems are winning, act like it!” What these fail to take into account is the country’s on the verge of breaking up with an abuser. We’ve been bombarded, traumatized for 4 years. The joy of being out is tempered by uncertainty over whether it’s really over.
Good morning! If you only look at one map today, make it this one. This is what red/blue states really look like. Land doesn't vote. People do. #ElectionResults2020pic.twitter.com/dfpl4N2MLq
Someone wanna tell me why this (perfect) baby can talk on the phone in Japanese better than me even though I've been doing it longer!! 😭🥰 pic.twitter.com/gRVTWBgg2u
I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium. pic.twitter.com/P45HV1daD9
My wife was driving us home and said “the sky is so beautiful.” I pointed to a weird old man on the street and said “this guy?” Anyway if you were in the car you would’ve laughed.
i think society won't be satisfied with BEFORE & AFTER weight loss pictures until there's a woman on the left side & just an empty pile of clothes on the ground on the right side WOW WHAT'S HER SECRET?!
In college I have discovered that I actually have a passion for nothing. My dream job is no job and a mansion by the sea with lots of windows. Manifesting xoxo ✨
Let's be clear: Dolly Parton is a millionaire and not a billionaire because she *keeps giving money away*. Being a billionaire is a MORAL FAILING. She gives away shockingly large amounts of money every year and is STILL RICHER THAN YOU AND I WILL EVER BE.
— Jerome Comeau is social-media-distancing (@Heronymus) November 17, 2020
bring back landlines i wanna be on my phone while i’m on the phone
Truly one of the worst publishing decisions in a year of particularly bad decisions was allowing Cuomo to put out a book about how he solved COVID-19 for NY.
One thing no one ever talks about being an adult is how much time you debate yourself on keeping a cardboard box because it's, like, a really good box.
This is Khan. He’s the sneakiest shoe stealer on the planet. Has never ever been caught... until now. 14/10 (IG: khantheweenie) pic.twitter.com/qyAQzDWuju
It’s fuckin wild how the solution is as simple as “just pay places to be closed and pay people to stay home” and that’s been the solution this whole time and the government is just like “nah”
Pretty incredible that homelessness isn’t even a mainstream political issue at all. Neither party gives a shit. We could solve it tomorrow and wouldn’t even miss the money but there’s no profit in that so it’s not a possibility. One of the most glaring US human rights atrocities.
capitalism is the only system that works, which is why every viral tweet has a follow-up reply from the OP linking a gofundme for a close friend who is dying
We’re being held hostage by a psychopath in kitten heels and a fake tan and his lunatic lawyer with hair dye dripping down his face because some of you thought a woman would be too emotional to run the country.
Simply cannot stop thinking about a girl I knew who dated a guy she couldn’t STAND - all because his ex died in a plane crash, & her biggest fear was dying in a plane crash, & she figured there was no way the universe would let both of this guy’s girlfriends die in a plane crash
current government messaging is like don’t go out ❤️ but bars and restaurants are open ❤️ but don’t go there ❤️ but support local businesses and restaurants they need it ❤️ but again don’t go out ❤️
The government has had 6 months to prepare for a second wave and have done absolutely nothing. Now we are punishing small businesses and workers that will not survive while our leaders eat Arctic char indoors. This is genuinely an upside down backwards society.
Do other people’s Thanksgivings operate the way my house did where dinner might be ready any time between 3pm and 9:30pm and the people cooking get very angry if you ask
My kid just started watching freaks and geeks...without me. I always wanted to watch it with her. But I get it. Because even if you start out Kim fucking Kelly, eventually you just end up someone’s uncool mom. 😭
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: watching the new season of Big Mouth, doing the Polar Drive experience, there have been only two snowstorms so far and I can’t wait for more to come, and I’ve already started baking the chocolate chip Nutella cookies that I love to make this time of year but I want to try something new as well so I’m thinking about giving these ones a try. Christmas will of course be different this year, it’s looking like it’ll be me, my parents (since I’ve been staying here since October), Nathan & Baby Dog on Christmas morning, which actually seems like it might be kind of intimate and nice. It’ll feel wrong in certain ways because I love having my entire family here, but I’m going to try and make the most of it.
To this day, the only poem that I have memorized is In Flanders Field by John McCrae. I don’t remember how old I was when I learned it, but it’s managed to stay in my brain. I hope kids are still being taught to learn it in elementary school.
“In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.”
Forgive the lateness of this monthly post! I wish I could say it’s late because I’ve been crazy busy, but it’s really been because I’ve been lounging my ass around various corners of my parent’s house and trying my best to not watch any American news. Here’s what went down last month.
I started watching The Parkers and, as expected, it’s pretty great. Kim for life.
I got a lash lift aaaaaand it was bullshit. My eyes have never been more irritated and that’s coming from someone who went through corneal surgery. I think lash lifts are supposed to be for people who already have long lashes. But if you have long lashes, then why the hell do you need them to be lifted? SCAM.
Are eyelash curlers bad for people with short lashes? I was told they were. But that was by someone who also recently fucked my lashes, so I’m not sure what to believe now.
So many new movies were watched in October: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely great), Motel Hell (also great), Moment of Truth: Stalking Back (too real, a little hard to watch, but I’m really looking forward to watching other made-for-tv-movies from the series), Hush (a great movie, but again: too much, I might not be able to handle modern horror & I’m fine with that), Summer Camp Nightmare (great), Goodnight Mommy (parts of it were really cringe-y to watch but it was incredible), Mom (so, so underrated), Wolf (it was actually pretty good, how on earth had I not seen it before?), House on Haunted Hill (the old version and it was great! It ends abruptly but it’s still a fun movie), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (80s as hell, but not as terrible as I thought it’d be), Creepshow 2 (just a good time), Frogs (terrible and not in a fun way), Cujo (just a story of neglectful pet owners), Night of the Demons (not bad, not good), This Is Paris (it was really, really good. It’s definitely hard to watch if you’ve dealt with abuse in any way, but it’s really well done) and I got through about nine minutes of Cats before I just had to call it.
Started getting the cashew yogurt from Trader Joe’s and it’s so addictive.
The new SNLs have been all right, nothing special. And look, I love Jim Carrey. Forever will. But he isn’t good as Biden. It’s such a weird choice. Highlight of the episodes this month? The Bieberperformances, surprisingly.
I made the Impossible Burger at home (you can buy them at any Fairway Market) and they’re absolutely the top veggie burger on the market today. So damn good.
There’s this restaurant in Mississauga (Erin Mills Pump & Patio) that does such a good job of replicating this now-off-menu pasta that I used to love from Snug Harbour and I’m so thankful to have found it. (It’s the Hunters Penne Pasta with chicken, cremini and shitake mushrooms, Italian parsley, black truffle oil in a white wine cream sauce incase you want to taste heaven.)
We went to Downey’s on Halloween this year and for the first time got their homemade cheese bread. Life will never be the same. Some photos of the day below.
The LCBO puts out a seasonal magazine with food and drink recipes that I looooove. One of my favourite magazines for sure.
I made a batch of hot ginger toddies and yes they were good but waaaay too high maintenance to make at home. It’s definitely a drink that’s easier to just order when out.
I made these ginger sesame noodles with caramelized mushrooms and wow. Definitely will make again. I’d never thought of having broth at the bottom of a bowl full of noodles, but it’s such a great idea.
If you watch it with the sound off, it looks like she's revealing to James Bond that she was on Goldfinger's side the whole time https://t.co/1Uy81p1fCc
I once had a coworker who had just moved here from France and she could not get over her horror that on Halloween we waste pumpkins by making lanterns out of them and not turning them into soup or whatever
Our whole lives we hear: Don't talk about your period. Don't talk about sex. Don't talk about infertility. Don't talk about miscarriage. Don't talk badly about a pregnancy. Don't talk about PPD. Don't talk about anything post-partum except the baby. Only a baby matters. Not you.
You don’t “make” $15/hr. You “make” 100s or 1000s of $$ worth of product each hour and sell it for $15 each hour. You didn’t make anything for yourself. You sold an hour of your life and your body for $15. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. Your labor value is getting stolen
— Bryan Lindstrom (he/him/we) (@BryanLindstrom4) October 11, 2020
Normalize starting over as many times as you need.
Just spoke to a friend who was beating herself up for not doing more with this year and I had to remind her (and myself) that we were only supposed to be doing this for 2 weeks! A month max! You didn't waste this year, it was stolen and anything you DID achieve is a miracle!
hey babe I really appreciate you taking birth control even if it fucks you up, it just feels really good on my penis to not wear a condom for the 15 minutes of sex we have twice a week
If you walk down the street and you're mad that people are living in tents, please direct your anger and effort towards creating a housing system that doesn't allow people to end up homeless because they lost a job, had medical debt, or faced a rent hike they couldn't afford.
i wonder if my cat ever looks at me while i’m sleeping and thinks “ok that is the cutest way i have ever seen someone sleeping in my life” or is it one sided
Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: reading Lindy West’s new book, decorating my parent’s house for the Christmas season, and SNOW.
The leaves are starting to fall, the colder winds are coming, the pumpkins are starting to appear and I’ve never wanted an October more than I do right now. This time of year stirs up so much inside of me, I can barely breathe. However you enjoy this season, I hope you take some time to bask in these autumn days that are typically so fleeting. Here’s what went down last month.
I ate at Buvette and their snails were definitely the highlight.
I saw the movie The Car and it was phenomenal. You have to see it. The dialogue is atrocious, but a young, smokeshow James Brolin? Christ, he can get it. It’s a perfect bad movie.
I went to Gramercy Tavern and of course that place never disappoints. The service, the food, everything is impeccable. Some photos below.
Of course they have their own sanitizer
The Harvest Daiquiri with Frozen El Dorado 8 yr Rum, Green Chartreuse, Caradonna Farms Apple Cider, Lime
Chilled Corn Soup with Pickled Cauliflower, Beets, Avocado
Something new: did you know that Sephora has in-store rewards available that are different from the rewards shown on their website? Something to check out near the front cashier the next time you’re in a Sephora.
I bought the Mario Badescu Drying Lotion again because it’s such a great product for calming down acne and one bottle lasts at least six months or so.
A great piece about the arts scene in New York City right now.
I rarely listen to podcasts, but I listened to the Conan O’Brien episode of the Michelle Obama podcast and it was great. The episode is about marriage and I liked it so much because I love hearing about how couples first met and fell for one another.
As with every other person on earth this month, I watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix and then immediately deleted all the games off of my phone. I know the whole message was to delete Instagram and Facebook, but I’ve never had Facebook on my phone (what am I, 90?) and I truly don’t go on Instagram that much (not by choice, I have a shite battery that lasts about eight minutes a day).
I started watching Girlfriends and even though the pilot is rooooough (as most pilots are), it’s an all right show. It’s insane that Sex And The City basically stole this entire premise. I did, however, stop watching because all of the women are so wildly tiny, it warps my brain to sit and stare at skinny women for long periods of time.
I bought this scalp massager and holy hell, it’s incredible. It elevates a shower times a thousand.
I tried a sample of Fab Pharma’s Rescue Mask and it’s pretty great. It’s weird to not wash a mask off yes, but your skin feels amazing in the morning after use.
My friend Dusty had his movie reviewed by Roger Ebert’s website which is so huge and amazing. Wildly proud.
I started watching Sister, Sister on Netflix and Lisa is the greatest character of all time.
The new autumn candle at Trader Joe’s? Honeycrisp Apple! Already bought! Already sold out! Will I light it or just keep it to smell every so often? None of your business.
Another great New Yorker cover.
I was fortunate enough to eat at Atoboy (thank you Katie & Greg!) and it was perfection. I’ve never eaten tuna so heavenly. Such a wonderful meal and the service especially was warm as hell.
I finally bought those Aerie bike shorts I’ve wanted for months and they’re incredible. Bike shorts should always be this damn soft.
Finally ate at Arte Cafe on the Upper West Side and loved it.
I visited the Krispy Kreme flagship in Times Square and it was pretty great. Most locations in every suburban city have glass windows where you see the donuts being made, so I didn’t get the huge appeal?
I may or may not have indulged in some of the seasonal desserts at Comfortland in Astoria, I won’t tell you details because they weren’t anything amazing. Honestly, nothing compares to the apple fritters at San Remo’s in Etobicoke.
I watched the Surviving R. Kelly sequel on Netflix and it didn’t really have any new information, which makes sense because there hasn’t even been a trial yet.
I also watched all of season one and some of season two of Twin Peaks (for the first time) and I have some thoughts. First things first, the pilot is incredible. But… why is the background/theme music so terrible? It never matches any of the scenes in tone and it just leaves me confused most times. Some parts are so fucking off and bad (acting-wise, script-wise) that I literally googled certain scenes to see if they were supposed to be funny or if I was missing something. What the fuck is with all of the dancing? And THIS scene? What in the good holy fuck?? UGH, and then David Lynch SHOWS UP IN THE SHOW? Kill me. The entire series should’ve lasted one season. I can officially say that I don’t give one shit about who the fuck killed Laura Palmer, she’s the luckiest character of them all to be dead. Blow me, Lynch.
When Jhene said ‘I used to think I was introverted because I really liked being alone but it turns out that I just like my peace, and I am very extroverted around people who bring me peace.’ I FELT THAT IN MY CHEST.
Ok I’m stoned but this seems like a good idea: what if there was an app that both you and your partner have where you both swipe right or left on movies that are on your streaming services and when you find a match it lets you know
i sit with my daughter while she falls asleep and i always whisper “i love you” in her ear as soon as she falls asleep& she says “i love you too” well tonight we had a little argument before she fell asleep i still whispered “i love you” & all she whispered back was “good” LMFAO
It should count for 4 if you swish it. There I said it.
— C.J. “Lakers Fan Since I Was A Baby” Toledano (@CJToledano) September 12, 2020
i like how nick nurse looks like a kid who is in the middle of a realistic dream where he woke up coaching a major league basketball team and is like "oh god, ok, im gonna try!"
my girlfriend regularly tells me “if free public libraries didn’t already exist and someone tried to invent them, they would be condemned as a socialist plot” and I think about that a lot.
i hate that weight gain is seen as ‘not looking after yourself’ when for a lot of people it’s a sign that we are enjoying food, maybe seeing our friends more, maybe going out more, maybe just letting go of societal standards for a bit! weight gain can be from happy changes too
Dave Grohl goes above and beyond to make 2020 a little more tolerable. Man, this is just heartwarming as fuck! There goes my hero indeed. I wanna be Dave when I grow up. https://t.co/QCsuM0MHp8
does anyone else constantly think about how Jessica Simpson was body shamed in 2009 for being a size 4? and how fatphobic our society has to be to think that even this very small body was unacceptable and worthy of global bullying? because whew I really really do. pic.twitter.com/mSj7GVyzgF
Diving catch through smoke while wearing a face mask, what a demented universe we're all trying to bend into some semblance of normalcy https://t.co/cNKrXiPkdg
Y'all ever think about how indigenous people successfully lived in the Americas for 15,000 years then Europeans came here and 500 years later the whole nation is experiencing apocalyptic climate disaster.
sometimes i remember that if a clown wants to trademark their makeup they have to paint it on an egg that is stored in a special clown egg warehouse and then i have to go lie down pic.twitter.com/5ltP6aQzL5
Why get a dog if you’re just gonna pull on it every time it stops to smell something? That’s what they do. Why not take a fish out the tank and throw it on the floor
Why don’t conservatives ever want to interfere with my body in a HELPFUL way? Fix this little bump on my leg! Exfoliate my elbows! Stretch my quads! Bitch, FLOSS ME.
This is a reminder that the IRS audits way more people who make under $30,000 per year than they do millionaires because the GOP repeatedly stripped their funding and the poor don't have the resources to fight the IRS, while the rich have lawyers to fight them at every turn
once u start shoplifting there is no going back it literally rewires your neural pathways and thought patterns like I now get physically mad whenever I have to pay for something
I wish anti-maskers weren’t a thing so us regular people could complain about masks being annoying without looking like a Q Anon dipshit who refuses to wear one. I just wanna be able to say “this sucks” without having to follow it up with “BUT I WILL BECAUSE IT’S MY CIVIC DUTY”
Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: I must decorate, I really want to make this fall kale salad that sounds incredible, I’m planning a visit to Sleepy Hollow for the day, if I can find the time I really want to try these vegan burgers, I need to finalize the details for my costume this year, MUST BUY these winter stamps, I cannot wait to get my hands on these again, I’m intending on doing my 31-days-of-Halloween celebration yet again (which means that I’ll try to do at least one spookily themed thing each day), and I will definitely be watching some of these 90s sitcoms Halloween episodes. Also, I’m not a huge cronut fan but these flavours (below)?! Get out of here. Already pre-ordered.
The absolute best time of the year has officially begun. So as the world crumbles around us, let us look to the falling leaf. Let us carve a pumpkin and bask in the candlelight that shines back upon us. Let us believe for a moment that things will get better. Here’s what I’d love to do this season.
Make an apple dessert.
Visit Sleepy Hollow.
Jog before sunrise.
Make homemade hot toddies.
Have the most epic Halloween possible since it falls on a full moon this year and that, my dear, is magical.
However you’re spending the season, I hope it’s everything you want it to be and more.
First things first, welcome to (under normal circumstances) the best time of the year. Will this perfect time of year be different than previous years? Of course. We’re all still trying to function in this modern version of hell. SO that being said, I am still going to try and make the most of the seasonal things I like to do (minus seeing the people that I love and haven’t seen for almost a year, eating the baked goods from places that I’m not allowed to visit, or being able to just hug my family). MINUS ALL OF THAT. I will cook what I cannot go out to eat. I will watch the movies in my home that I’d normally insist on watching with others. I will decorate. I will light all of the autumn-scented candles that I can get my grubby hands on. Autumn will happen and I will do the best that I can. And I encourage you to do the same. Here’s what happened last month:
I found out that there will definitely be a Scream 5 and I am pumped.
Two more songs that I love off of Taylor Swift’s new album: epiphany and mad woman. It’s fast becoming my album of the summer (I’m, like, super indie, I know).
Blue Diamond has these flavoured almonds out right now and the salt & vinegar as well as the dill pickle flavours… are insanely good.
I sent this to my mom and she loved it as much as I do (below).
Scott Hubbard (@scottyhubs) has created a short video on TikTok with music sonido original. | This was in my drafts 😂 #fyp #tiktokpets #dog #cosplay
I tried samples of the Verb Ghost Shampoo, Hair Mask and Spray and they were all equal parts bullshit. Who sends out a spray sample in a small packet, so that it can’t be sprayed? Ignoring the idiotic packaging, the products themselves just fell flat. Absolutely nothing special here.
I tried Ops Pizza in Brooklyn and it was great! Better than Prince Street or Mama’s Too? Not a chance. Still good, though.
I bought this mask off of Etsy in anticipation of October’s arrival.
I also got this Tan Lines candle that smells incredible. I know it’s basic as hell but candles might be saving my life.
I tried beef carpaccio for the first time (!) at L’Artusi and it was great! I’d describe it as a lighter, more dainty steak tartare.
I also tried the vegan chicken parm sandwich at VSPOT and dear lord was it good. Tasted exactly like a regular chicken parm. Must remember this place and go again.
Oneya (@angryreactions) has created a short video on TikTok with music original sound. | #duet with @bobbysrey that cake is beautiful. #fyp #foryou
I’m not sure when I’ll feel okay about visiting the new Krispy Kreme flagship, but I’ll tell you one thing: I can’t wait. I remember when they opened their first Canadian location and my dad was soexcited, I think that’s where my love of the company comes from.
I’ve decided to stop trying to lose weight. When I diet, my brain goes crazy & I binge & make matters worse. I choose to accept & love myself as I am NOW. I will treat myself with care to ensure I can live fully. Not sure why I’m telling you -maybe someone needs to hear it? ♥️
hot take: people only like summer because it was our only time off for like 12 years and its ingrained in our minds to like it. the actual season is fucking atrocious
Every summer night, in every neighbourhood in Canada, there’s a middle-aged man proudly playing The Tragically Hip in his backyard, loudly singing along with Gordie into his beer. Tonight, in my neighborhood of #JunctionTO, that man is me.
my midwestern ex doesnt give ppl the finger (that's mean) so when he got mad while driving (a lot) he'd give ppl a thumbs down out the window so they'd know he wasnt mad, just disappointed, and to this day i think that is the funniest shit in the world
It's amazing how quickly "the President is going to cheat to win" is just normalized as a factor we must all work around because the system itself is far too corrupted to stop him.
No mail. No healthcare. No jobs. No free or fair elections. Banned from the rest of the world. Our taxes blown on giveaways to corrupt corporations and institutions. Police violence against anyone who challenges this arrangement. We’re living in a failed state, no doubt about it.
young people the messaging couldn't be more clear!! Stay at home! Go to work ! We'll give you CERB! Unless your minimum wage job needs you ! Social distance! in the back of the restaurant you work in! have a pod of 6 people! its just your co-workers! lol! y r u so selfish?!?
i need every creator to always keep this sentiment in mind bc even though i try to tell my fav creators i love their work theres alot of gushing n silent admiration n looking to it for the inspiration they don't see pic.twitter.com/lkqOuIQP4n
I jokingly asked my grandpa to pls not let any visitors into my room bc of work, then later walked into him posting a sign on my door that said “DO NOT ENTER, KAREN IS BUSY” w a calligraphy brush in a traditional top-down, right-left korean sign 😂 we are the only two at home 😂
We’re so numb as a nation that when NASA reports a possibility of an astriod getting very close we read, consider it for a second and then keep scrolling to see what else is going on that might be more juicy.
This is Ziggy. He’s practicing saying hi to the other dogs in the neighborhood. Just moved here and would love to make a good first impression. 14/10 pic.twitter.com/C2ZGWM3It9
I know I’m harping on this but Hitler and the Nazis didn’t say “we’re going to scapegoat Jewish people and murder them by the millions”; they said “the Jews are a threat to the German way of life and we must defend ourselves.” The same “self-defense” rhetoric Fox & the GOP use.
This is the first generation where both men and women in a household work full time and barely get by, and people think they’re the laziest and most entitled how’d that happen?
I’m not from nyc (though I was born here), but I think part of what feels so dismissive about transplants saying “new york is dead” is that they’re revealing that the only reason they’re here is to consume, and not to give in return. they’re literally parasites.
Some movies that I rewatched: It’s Complicated (the family of children is so annoying in this movie, but I love all of the adults and the food and it’s just comforting to watch) and Adventures in Babysitting (a perfect movie).
I started rewatching Moesha and it’s great to see again, but I can’t believe I didn’t notice how incredible the side character of Kim is! She holds the show together! Obviously, this realization makes me excited for when her spinoff show The Parkers comes to Netflix next month.
I bought this strawberry shampoo from The Body Shop (impulse buy for $5) and the smell reminds me so much of being in middle school (meaning this in a good way). Is it a great shampoo? Meh.
I tried a decent sized sample of the moisturizing cream from Sunday Riley and the best part about it is the smell. I can’t imagine a world in which I’d pay $65 for a basic moisturizer, though, so that says it all.
I tried that anchovy pasta that Mindy Kaling recommended and it’s basic as hell, wouldn’t make again.
I made my first purchase from Everlane and the quality of the shirt is beautiful, if not a little shapeless. Will I buy from them again? Probably not. It’s just so bland for the price point.
I own it already, but I’m so happy to hear that Safety Not Guaranteed is back on Netflix. Everyone should watch it. The ending is amazing.
I’m using the new Trader Joe’s Strawberry Lemon Sugar Scrub and does it do anything magical? Not really. The smell is incredible, but there’s something gross about the little strawberry seeds in the scrub. No thanks.
New watch alert! $25 at Nordstrom. I’ve been making fun of Nathan having a gold watch for some time now and then realized it might be because I was jealous and wanted one of my own. So here we are.
Idea: take hot baths in the summer. I never used to do this and it’s so relaxing. It doesn’t make any sense.
I tried the vegan burger patties from Trader Joe’s and they’re only okay, I wouldn’t get them again. The Impossible Burger is hands down the best one I’ve tried, with a close second place to the Beyond Burger.
The Met reopened (as well as their rooftop installation) and I can’t bring myself to go. I know they’re taking precautions and all, but I just don’t want to do it. It does look incredible, though.
I tried the brunch burger at Vite Vinosteria in Astoria and I know I say this a lot, but holy shit. Might be the best burger in Astoria? What the hell is with Italian restaurants having these sleeper hit burgers all of a sudden? Vesta is the same way! Either way, I’m not complaining. I mean, look at this beast.
Brunch burger at Vite Vinosteria in Astoria
I started a Might Buy bookmark category in my browser window, to cut down on impulse buying and really care about what I spend my money on. Here’s a list of things that I can’t decide if I want to buy or not:
I’ve heard such good things about this face wash, but I have ten different open ones in my washroom so this is low on the list.
Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I think I’m going to start rewatching Friday Night Lights, I’m also working on my October list of what to watch each day that month, I’m so excited that Ijeoma Oluo’s new book has a release date of December 2020, and I’m excited to finish the new book I’m reading (that you’ll be hearing about imminently).
