Cherry Blossoms are in bloom at the University of Washington right now - Photo By Kai Wang
Cherry Blossoms are in bloom at the University of Washington right now - Photo By Kai Wang
Am I alone in thinking that was the longest March of all time? It truly felt like it would never end. Usually I love my birthday month, but with everything still the way it’s been for the past year, there really didn’t feel like much of a reason to celebrate. Also, Nathan got COVID. It was awful and scary and I was worried about how he’d be, but all is well and he just got his vaccine this past weekend, which is incredible. So a real roller coaster type of month, but thank god it’s over.
Forever an optimist, I made a list of spring things that I’d like to do. One of my favourite things to do is get a pedicure on the first day of a season. I don’t get them very often at all, so it’s a nice way to usher in some new weather.
I finished watching Superstore, which is such a great show. I would’ve never watched it on my own, so this is why you have to listen to your best friend’s recommendations sometimes. They know more than you. Also, it was weird as hell to hear the Smashing Pumpkins song Today in one episode. Just seemed like a strange pairing, them and this show. Or any show, really. But I mean they did lend a song to that Apple ad, so I guess the old days of Billy Corgan complaining about everything are over.
I made my way back to Lilia with Irene to devour their seasonal leek focaccia & green salted butter, which is always heaven on a plate. (Me and focaccia have had a pretty strong love affair going on for some time now. I plan on making it at home soon, but I can’t decide on the flavouring I’ll want to add to it. There are too many possibilities.) We also shared two pastas: the corzetti with pine nuts, marjoram & parmigiano reggiano as well as the sheep’s milk cheese agnolotti with saffron, dried tomato & honey. Always a good meal here. Might benefit from some new pastas, though.
My sweet baby girl, leek focaccia & her green salted butter
Stunning Irene & pasta
I’m very excited for bread
I got my first Moderna shot! I usually have tons of anxiety around needles, but somehow it wasn’t a problem this time (maybe because I had the kindest nurse on the planet). It sounds so simple, but she told me to look away, to take a deep breath and while I was taking that breath she put the needle in and THAT WAS IT. So grateful for that advice. Must remember that for life now. I have my next shot on April 8th! (I did get COVID arm, but it went away in 24 hours so it really wasn’t a big deal.) Also, I’ll definitely ask a medical professional, but if it’s allowed then I’m definitely getting my card laminated for free.
There’s this great, cute new store called Gift Box on Broadway in Astoria. It’s very similar to Lockwood, only better. Lots of cards, gifts, beauty products, candles, that kind of thing.
Target sells candles?! I’m the last person on earth who learned this. $4 for an actually great mini candle is wild.
Tried a slice of the red velvet cake from Milk Bar and it was unexpectedly good. I don’t usually care about red velvet (because it’s a scam?), but honestly their cakes always find a way to taste amazing.
I made this cajun linguine and it was so lackluster, I hate when a pasta recipe doesn’t work out. It’s so upsetting. Also, cajun seasoning can blow me.
They’re opening a Sonic in Manhattan, which I’ve never been to before, is it worth going?
I know Eataly is for tourists, but once in awhile I like to stop in to peruse. I tried one of their prepackaged foods (the eggplant parmesan) and it was a hard pass. Just no flavouring at all. The only thing that saved the day were their individual little Italian chocolates. Always amazing. I do want to eventually try their dried pasta Afeltra since I’ve heard such good things about it.
I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not ready to watch documentaries about the pandemic yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever want to. I mean… we’re still IN IT, for christ’s sake. HBO needs to just sit down.
When I was in Seattle in April a few years ago, I wandered onto the University of Washington’s campus and was blown away by their gorgeous cherry blossoms. They have a livestream of them right now, if you’d like to take a look.
With plastic bags officially banned now, I desperately need a basket bag to take when I go to the farmer’s market. So f-ing lovely. Everyone will think I’m Belle or some shit.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a fresh Jamaican patty in my life, so I’m definitely going here the next time I’m in Mississauga.
How on earth have I never heard of the restaurants Dell’anima or Anfora?! They’re both under the Joe Campanale umbrella (of L’Artusi fame)! I’m so excited to go. Just look at those menus.
Speaking of, I can’t go for too long without eating the wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi. It’s a problem. (It also makes me want to buy a really great finishing olive oil, so I’m looking into that. I’m thinking either Monini or Frantoia.)
Wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi
One thing I’ve started to do that you should too: buy good butter. I stopped buying margarine many years ago and thought I was a better person for buying regular grocery store butter. But sweetie, you can do more. The butter (specifically European butter) in specialty shops or some bakeries or markets is EONS better than the run-of-the-mill basic grocery butter. And it enhances literally everything that you use it in. Right now, the butter in my fridge is beurre de baratte butter and it’s ridiculously good. Obviously I’m not going to use this butter when I’m baking because I’m not a millionaire, but when I’m making something savory for dinner? Or a compound butter? Or on top of asparagus? On some bread as a snack? It’s unreal.
Speaking of food advice: don’t buy your parmesan at the grocery store either. I’ve never had amazing parmesan from there. It’s always the same, even the expensive stuff. Get your ass to a cheese shop. Enough already, you’re an adult.
I tried a CBD chocolate and just as I thought: it’s a scam. Just like red velvet. It did nothing for nobody.
I bought this tea tree toner on a whim from The Body Shop and I might keep buying it for the rest of time. I use it on my face right when I get out of a hot shower and it’s kept my face feeling incredible lately.
A new coffee shop opened up in my neighbourhood called Coffee Avenue and I can’t recommend it enough. The macadamia milk hot chocolate blew my face off.
I finally ate at Bar Primi in the city and it was spectacular. We had the ricotta crostino with hazelnuts & truffle honey (which is almost like a dessert, it’s so good), the linguine with 4 cloves of garlic & breadcrumbs as well as the penne ragu alla bolognese with ricotta which was the very best. Can’t wait to go again. Loved the atmosphere of the place, too.
The seasonal candle is out at Trader Joe’s and it’s grapefruit, which smells perfect. I’ve finally stopped hoarding their candles and have started burning them. Only took me a year of lockdown to realize I should try to enjoy my life.
Lemon Kit-Kats exist and all is right with the world. Delicious.
I don’t go very often, but I’ll always love The Dutch. Perfect cornbread. Perfect tartare. You can’t go wrong.
Housemade scallion-chipotle cornbread with whipped butter
Wagyu steak tartare, capers, bearnaise aioli
*Note: if it seems like I eat a lot of steak tartare - I do. Good observation. It’s incredible.
Controversial opinion but the Dove chocolate peanut butter eggs are one millions times better than Reese’s peanut butter cups. I couldn’t believe it either.
This leads me to another declaration: Easter candy might be better than Halloween candy. Hear me out. Halloween candy is almost chaotic when you think of the candy options, it’s overwhelming and more often than not, disappointing. Easter candy, however, is usually always new and fresh each season. They’ve got to work harder to get you to notice Easter candy, so infact you’re getting a more well thought out product, which usually tastes better. Anyway, can you tell I’m depressed…?
I went to the new Ulta location in NYC in Herald Square and it’s great, it seems bigger than the UWS one and it’s way more convenient to visit. Must remember. Oh! But speaking of Ulta, remember how last year they had such great birthday gifts? They really dropped the ball this year. They’re trying to give a $5 Mario Badescu facial spray as the March gift?! Are you fucking serious?! That’s the worst. Literally the worst gift of all the months. Fighting every urge in my body to write them a strongly-worded letter about this. Just insanity. I didn’t even go claim it. Keep your damn gift, no spray can calm me down from this.
New love: macadamia milk in my iced coffee in the morning. Just heavenly.
I rewatched Wall-E and what a great movie. For all ages. Too perfect.
I watched the Woody Allen & Mia Farrow documentary on HBO and it’s obviously a must watch. So many things I didn’t know about that story were shown, this man needs to be stopped.
If you ever get a new phone and you want to transfer over all of your WhatsApp messages to your new phone (and you’ve never backed them up), you can pay $40 and use this site to do it.
Do not judge me, but I ordered (and returned) a SKIMS bralette. I was swayed by a few photos of women wearing it and wanted to see for myself what it felt like. Verdict: crap. Sure, the material is soft but only because it’s so poorly made and unsupportive. An immediate return. The beautiful colours of the bras are what sells the product, in my opinion. It’s so hard to find well made, beautiful browns and neutrals in undergarments.
I came across this wonderful stationary store in Chelsea, City Papery. I could spend hours roaming the aisles in there. Made a mental note to go back to get some really beautiful envelopes (why on earth am I still buying the basic-ass white envelopes at CVS??), such a great store.
I’m proofreading a book right now about the idea of living with intention and I’ll post a link to it as soon as it’s released later this year. It’s honestly one of the best self help things I’ve read in a long time.
I’ve had a Pinterest account forever and I recently organized a lot of the recipes into seasonal categories, which has inspired me to make so many new meals this season. Check it. Also, I haven’t tried these yet, but these spring recipes (below) sound delicious.
I’ve mentioned my filmmaker friend Dusty before (his film Violation was at Sundance this year), well his movie is a Critic’s Pick in the The New York Times this month, which is amazing and so well deserved. Truly could not happen to a better person.
I have eaten approximately five pounds of asparagus since spring began and I can’t see myself stopping anytime soon. It’s so fucking good. One grievance: that huge, fat asparagus. Why’s it so big like that?? Unnatural as hell. Give me that thin, beautiful asparagus that’s increasingly so hard to find any day. And to anyone who’s like, “Don’t you hate how it makes your pee smell?” - why you gotta go smell your pee? Be normal, weirdo.
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m trying so hard to find a way to stream the last three episodes of Stanley Tucci’s Searching For Italy which has been impossible to find, will definitely go check out Little Island, excited to maybe go to the Kusama exhibit, I’d really like to make the Carbone garlic bread, I want to locate and try milk bread, my brother Robbie told me to mix balsamic vinegar & mayo and put it on a burger so I’ll try that soon, I bought some dried Rao’s pasta so I can’t wait to make it, I’m so excited that movie theatres are opening on the 2nd here (I’ll be fully vaccinated very soon so this is great), and I’m adding a resolution: I’d like to do one new thing on the first of every month (examples: buy stock in something, eat ramen, etc.).
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in February over here.
It’s officially late March, which is the second greatest time of the year produce-wise (first being corn season, third being tomato season). My absolute favourite vegetable to get ahold of right now is green garlic (also known as young garlic or spring garlic). It’s a bit sweeter than regular garlic and in a whole other world of flavour. I just came across this recipe from Melissa Clark (I love her, remember she’s the one who made this incredible tomato sandwich) that incorporates it into a compound butter for toast. Since I just got my first handful of green garlic at Union Square Greenmarket yesterday, this baby is getting made TODAY. If I can also get my hands on some good ricotta, this might be the best day of my life.
I am completely mesmerized by Alvin Zhou’s food channel. Even if you have zero interest in making lasagna, you should watch this just to feel completely at ease. Love it all so much, so much care seems to go into every detail.
The best month has arrived! I know this has been a full year of complete trash, but spring is coming and it’s always the most hope-filled season, in my eyes. So even if I’m living in a dream world, let’s pretend that things might get better.
First things first, I tested positive for COVID earlier this month, but I’ve recovered completely and I know that I’m crazy lucky to have had it so mildly. I lost my sense of taste and smell for only a few weeks and it’s almost 100% back now, which is amazing. Somehow, magically, I didn’t infect my parents and they both tested negative (I was staying with them since autumn of last year), so that was also another little miracle.
Some movies I rewatched in my isolation: Groundhog Day (it’s the perfect movie to watch in a pandemic), Titanic (I think I rewatch this maybe two or three times a year, it never stops being great), and Stepmom (haven’t seen this in years and though I don’t love the movie, the part when the little boy says to his mother, “No one will ever love you like I love you” is weep-worthy).
Some new things I watched:
I finished the first five seasons of Superstore and it’s just a great show, with such good characters, fully recommend. The only part I hated was Sandra giving away Jerry to Carol, I just seethed at that joke for some reason.
The new To All The Boys I’ve Loved movie that came out. Yes, it’s super corny at times but it’s also very cute.
Emily in Paris, I don’t know why, it was a weird month. My two takeaways? The woman looks 12 years old, so I don’t know… the whole premise feels weird when you think you’re watching a child. And Darren Star must really find it truly hilarious when American women step in shit in France. His favourite joke on this planet, apparently.
The new Britney Spears documentary. Love her, loved it, hope things turn out all right for her.
Promising Young Woman, I loved it. Such an original, well done movie. Certain parts are slightly triggering if you’ve ever dealt with similar abuse situations, but overall it’s really, really good. (The soundtrack is great, too.)
Stanley Tucci’s CNN show Searching For Italy. Amazing! Love this man! I’ve had this dream trip around Italy planned for years that I intend to take one day and this show allows me to bask in that dream even harder. I should do a post about the specifics of this trip (I have it all organized within a Word document and map outlines), that way I can get people to contribute any must-do things that I should add. Okay, yes, I’ll post that later this month.
The Cecil Hotel series. Okay, look, the lam-Elisa tuberculosis part is intriguing as hell, but everything else? This could easily have been an hour long special. Also, fuck you Netflix for glazing over mental health issues, and giving such a strong voice to YOUTUBERS who know nothing and spout hurtful conspiracies. The whole series is so manipulatively done, absolutely do not recommend.
Have you ever been in a Food Basics? Because christ. It’s the most depressing grocery store chain I’ve ever had the misfortune of entering. Just a shocking vibe. Never again.
I’ll never understand why mixed bouquets exist when beautiful arrangements like this are an option. They’re always breathtaking.
I tried a sample of a coffee body scrub from Mine Tan and I want to buy a full sized version immediately. It makes you so insanely soft that it’s completely worth the mess that it makes after using it in the shower.
I made hummingbird cake for the first time and it was incredible, everyone should make this cake. The photo isn’t good, but the cake absolutely was. Will totally make again. You can’t really even taste any of the pineapple, but it makes it so moist and enjoyable for days after you’ve made it.
Hummingbird cake
I tried the TikTok leggings and they suhuuuuuuck. Don’t buy them. Shady material. Does nothing for any ass. In order for these to look like they do in the photo, you must have previously bought the ass that goes along with it.
I made queso that was TERRIBLE. Must remember to always use a recipe that uses Velveeta, anything else will result in a terrible queso.
Tried the carrot cake Oreos and of course they’re good. Oreo has been flawless these past few years at constantly reinventing themselves and succeeding. Love to see that in a cookie.
I tried to get into this Mark Twain biography and it was just too dense. I lasted a few pages before slowly shutting it and placing it far away from me. I know so little about the man (hence the reason I wanted to read his book) but you couldn’t pay me to finish that thing. He remains a mystery to me and I’ve come to terms with that.
I also tried to read Lindy West’s latest book Shit, Actually and… I hated it. Well, what I read I hated. I really didn’t find any of it funny, which is weird because I love her. The only good chapter that I read was the one about The Fugitive. Loved this part: “I was going to say that they don’t make movies like this anymore, where the last thirty minutes is just one continuous incredible chase, except they do, all the time, but they make it all CGI so it’s impossible to care about. Who cares about a drawing of a very fast exploding truck that a computer made? Not me!“
I finally watched the VHS from my fifth grade play Newsies and it did not disappoint. I was magical.
My dad and I have been sending our stamps to Oxfam for awhile now, you should send them any of your used stamps, too! It’s such a good organization. We save up all our stamps that come in and then send them a package a few times a year.
Speaking of stamps, did you know that you can suggest a Canadian stamp theme? I do this every so often, one day I swear one of my ideas will make the cut. This is such a great idea for kids, too.
I made Yorkshire pudding for the first time and it turned out well! I’m not a huge fan of the dull flavours, but I think if I used actual beef fat instead of shortening, then it would’ve tasted a bit stronger. Next time, for sure.
Yorkshire pudding
I bought this cake stand and dome from IKEA for my parent’s house and good god, what’s not perfect about a cake dome. What cake doesn’t benefit from its own little palace?
Best tweets of the month ahead.
Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.
for some awful reason my boyfriend and i keep accidentally wearing similar outfits but he's a foot taller than me so i look like a furious little doll of him
My toddler daughter spent 30 min telling me she don’t like crab legs and then sat in my damn lap and had me feeding her crab legs and gone tell me “dip it in butter good”
— Hueless P. Newton aka Shaun Scheme (@NotSoNewlywedPC) January 29, 2021
Netflix documentaries are always like, here is the story of a teen murdered on a boat but before we get to that let’s do 3 episodes on the history of water.
the cOST???? of LIVING??????? has anybody even said that out loud lol
— nat “cops break laws to terrorize/intimidate” puff (@LeftAtLondon) February 13, 2021
7th grade Spanish teacher taught us that patatas bravas were called that because the potatoes were brave for going into the spicy sauce and I will cherish that thought for the rest of my life. Honor them. Honor their sacrifice
In Mexico (probably other places too), Valentine’s Day is “the day of love and friendship.” But Americans only seem interested in the romantic connections, as if platonic relationships aren’t just or even more foundational to a person’s life. Friendship doesn’t get enough credit.
Like 3 weeks ago Gen z discovered wearing baggy pants and started standing pigeon toed in fit pics now suddenly my skinny jeans are cringe? Suck yaself
'Why fit in when you were born to stand out?' says yet another bio from a mother of three who's engagement photos of her and her bearded plaid shirt wearing partner were taken in a pumpkin patch
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: can’t wait to make this kale caesar with breadcrumbs, there are surprisingly good Sephora rewards available right now (I just got the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Serum Crystal Elixir reward that I can’t wait to try even though I have zero idea what it does), I’m going to do some research into all of these books and try to find the best ones at the library, I’m so excited that Shrill has a release date (May 7th), I’d love to get a haircut, and I can’t wait to get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. Oh, and I plan on eating the hell out of this leek focaccia at Lilia.
Wonderful, a new month! Even I’m not sure when I’m being sarcastic anymore. You know what I realized this month? This is technically year three of Covid-19 since it started in late 2019. Should I have kept that information to myself? Probably. I’m sorry. In any case, time moves on and we’re in a new month, so here’s what went down last month.
Before I begin, every January I make sure to:
Mark down all important holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (also Daylight Saving Times, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving) on my calendar
Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance/vet vaccinations and write down any important renewal dates
I recapped how my 2020 resolutions turned out. Spoiler alert: it’s not impressive.
I made my 2021 resolutions because I’m determined to live optimistically.
I made this carbonara from Bon Appetite and it BLEW! It was the first recipe that I made this year so I. was. PISSED.
I couldn’t find a Detroit style pizza place near my parent’s house (grow up, Mississauga) so I had no other choice but to get takeout from Descendant in Toronto and it was incredible.
The 8 x 10 “no name” from Descendant Pizza, Toronto
I’ve been using my parent’s air fryer and, surprise surprise, it’s amazing. Obviously it makes everything taste great, but the best part is that it’s so much faster than a regular oven. The best thing I’ve made so far was definitely these pickles.
I’d never even heard of The Devil’s Own which seems insane because two of the hottest nineties men are in it. Good movie? Not so much. I’d watch it again on mute though maybe.
Speaking of the past, do you remember Heritage Minutes in Canada? God, some of them were really, really good. My favourite ones were the Laura Secord one, the Superman one, the Winnie one, and definitely the Marconi one.
Still in love with the Dennis Gross peels, I just wish they weren’t so unreasonably priced.
I made this BA pasta with mushrooms and it was waaay too salty, what the hell is going on with me fucking up recipes these days?!
I tried this frozen vegan pizza and it was actually not terrible! Like, not as terrible tasting as regular frozen pizza.
Remember Grand & Toy (it was near Walter’s Music in Square One in the 90s)? I have to make a mental note to start using them instead of Staples. I loved that store for school supplies when I was a kid. Gotta support.
I’ve been watching the new Jeopardy! episodes with Ken Jennings and the first one was terrible in my opinion mainly because it just felt so wrong, but as I’ve kept watching I think it’s becoming less weird. I am excited to see the other guest hosts just to see how different they’ll each be.
I tried this drugstore John Frieda sea spray and it was complete crap. I may have overused it, but that’s really not my fault. Why in the hell don’t hair product labels tell you how many pumps you should use?! I swear to god, if only I were running things…
I made popovers for the first time and they were surprisingly easy! I might never buy a dinner roll ever again.
Popovers
I love the softness of these Indigo pajamas so much that I bought them twice (in both red & blue).
I heard the old Frank Sinatra song That’s Life on the radio the other day and got so teary, maybe ‘cause I haven’t heard it in years? Maybe ‘cause it’s just a perfect song? Am I slowly just losing it? While it was playing, I just kept saying to myself “That IS life!” Yeah, might have lost it.
I watched the newest season of Big Mouth and loved it. The anxiety mosquito might be the best new character introduced in the middle of a series OF ALL TIME. Such a great show.
I started watching Superstore (mostly in the background) and it’s pretty good! I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I definitely get the appeal.
My friend Dusty got his film Violation into Sundance and it’s wild that I know such immensely talented people. So, so proud of him.
I made blintzes with a Grand Marnier mascarpone (the blintz recipe is, of course, from Chef John and the mascarpone recipe is from one of Stanley Tucci’s cookbooks). It was delicious. It seems so intimidating to make crepes, but it was actually so easy and fun. Plus it looks like it’d be such a complicated thing to make, but I’d say it’s even easier than baking cookies.
Blintz with Grand Marnier mascarpone & wild blueberries in a cranberry coulis
I tried to read Ijeoma Oluo’s newest book Mediocre and I just couldn’t get into it. Even I was surprised because I love her work, so maybe I’ll give this one another try at a later date.
I had a real craving for a good bagel and since I’m not near Brooklyn Bagel in Astoria at the moment, I looked up the best place in this area for a bagel and went to the Old Bagel House on Lakeshore. And look, I respect what they’re doing, but they don’t hold a candle to New York bagels. Hard pass.
I’ve been using this tea tree night lotion from The Body Shop for years now, it really calms down your face before bed. Their entire tea tree collection is hard to beat.
I recently started eating frozen Canadian wild blueberries and they taste soblueberry. It’s madness. They’re so tiny and full of flavour, I couldn’t believe it. I’m so used to the blandness of blueberries from literally everywhere else. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE!
In 34 years on this planet I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries
Paul Rudd is a glimmering example of an 8 who became a 10 by having a good personality. That’s right folks, you can go up by +2 just by being wonderful
"Reduce Stress" isn't an acceptable treatment suggestion for any ailment unless the doctor telling you to do it is offering to cover your expenses while you rest.
Almost a year later and I still think it’s absurd that we’re all expected to carry on like everything isn’t bizarre. No change in work schedules, hours or anything. We’re really the “this is fine” meme come to life.
— Creole Lady Grey Poupon (@theelectwoman08) January 4, 2021
wanna open a bar called “plot twist” where upon entering the establishment you suddenly learn that you are that evenings bartender
i used to think that commissioning a hologram of your wife's dead father who you never met and having him call you a genius from beyond the grave was proof of a perfect marriage but i guess i'll have to rethink https://t.co/UyOoVfIGMa
2021: are the armed insurrectionists storming the Capitol aware that there is a plague ravaging the land
— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) January 7, 2021
this is my favorite photo of the year. John Trumbull’s Surrender of General Burgoyne sitting right there and he grabs a PODIUM?! FUND ARTS EDUCATION NOW! 🤡 pic.twitter.com/nfT37LZoM1
What’s always appalled me about this country is how we have so much more empathy for powerful people who commit crimes out of greed than for poor people who commit crimes out of desperation.
Once my husband was reading a Halloween book to our 4 y/o niece & she pointed to a vague monster in the background of an illustration. “Who IS that?” she asked. “I don’t know,” he answered. Then like an exhausted magazine editor in chief, she sighed “It’s probably a ghoul.”
I'd like to teach y'all a Southern phrase that will help you get off a phone/Zoom/Facetime call or you don't want to be on anymore but don't have an excuse to leave. Let me introduce you to the power of "Well, let me let you go"
ONLY person going through border from Canada to US. Customs agent looked at me the way a server does when you walk into their restaurant that’s about to close
bunch of high schoolers just walked past my car in the Taco Bell drive thru I was playing coldplay loud as hell. one of em made eye contact wit me, said something to his friends and they all laughed. this is the worst day of my life
today’s young vegetarians will never know the adrenaline rush of ordering a veggie burger in 2006 with not the faintest idea of what you were about to receive
The notes app is a uniquely melancholy place where banal tasks like "buy paper towels" live next to incoherent, sad aspirations like "become more like safdie brothers" (??)
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
I once asked friends on Facebook for the craziest LA advice their parents had given & 1 said their mom told her to wear a fake ponytail when jogging so if someone grabbed it to try to rape her it would pull out like a lizard's tail and boy do women have a lot more to worry about.
For everyone who is like, “A SATC reboot without Samantha? She’s the sex!” Sure. But she’s been the best friend anyone could ask for since Day One. When I think Samantha - I think this moment sums up her entire existence. That wink!! pic.twitter.com/QrsjnZMFLi
I hope you had the most merry Christmas possible, I really do. Mine was definitely different from our family’s norm, but it still turned out to be intimate and special. I never thought I’d get a Christmas with my parents and Nathan and Baby Dog all together at once, so that’s kind of a wish come true. In such an awful year, it felt so nice to get something so unexpectedly perfect. A part of it felt empty without Gary and Robbie, but if this year has taught me anything it’s to appreciate what you’re lucky enough to have right infront of you.
In other news, are you impressed with how on-time this end-of-month list is this month? I hope you are. I live to impress you. Here’s what went down in December:
I made my winter list of things to do for the season because I physically can’t stop making lists. It gives my life a sense of direction.
Instagram took away the option to embed your own photos (or changed it & I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT), so if you know how to please please god tell me.
When I was making the Nutella cookies for Christmastime this year, I finally learned how to successfully brown butter! It really helps to use a white-bottomed pan so that you can see the browning process happen.
We did the Polar Drive by the airport and it was very cute. Would’ve been perfect for kids.
I watched the first episode of the new Saved By The Bell and it was cringe city USA. Just really horrendous. There were oddly maybe two parts that were really funny, so the whole experience was just confusing.
Just learned about the existence of mod podge and crafting will never be the same again.
Someone on the Food Network suggested mixing ricotta and cheddar for something and I can’t get it out of my head, I never would’ve put those cheeses together but now it’s all that I want to try.
Such a good waxing experience at Waxon. The wax they use is like magic, it hurts so much less than at regular waxing places.
I have been washing Baby Dog’s face like this almost every night since I saw this video and she loves it.
Some movies I rewatched: The Craft (god, I love the outfits in this movie), Misery (great winter watch, still makes me sick to watch the feet scene), Reindeer Games (again, just a fun winter movie) and Alive (are you seeing a theme here? Love snowy movies without Christmas overtones).
I watched the Love Fraud documentary series and it was really, really good. Especially because in the last episode you get to hear from the main guy its based around.
In love with this white teeny tank I just bought. I have this fantasy of wearing it braless in the streets when we’re all vaccinated. Not sure if this will happen, but in my mind? Christ, it’s hot.
I made this cranberry-rosemary julep and yikes it was strong, but not delicious strong. Giada isn’t great at drinks, she should just stick to over-pronouncing Italian pastas and cheeses.
I reeeeally wanted this tulle bra from Zara but it sold out before I could get it, so I bought this blush lingerie one instead. I can almost guarantee that when I put it on Nathan will tell me to calm down.
I’m not a terribly original person, so I’ll forever love a life hack. Love this list.
I’ve been using this great hair finish every day for a month because it’s been laying around my parent’s house, but I can’t find it available anywhere online.
I find it boring that women posing on social media showing an inch of a fat roll are considered courageous and shocking. We’re all courageous. Every woman that leaves her goddamn house is courageous.
love how the new lockdown order is just like “it’s illegal to be outside your home unless you feel like doing an activity that either makes or spends money”
My dad has been doing a huge amount of childcare for us in quarantine so I’m delighted to announce my 1-year old baby gestures and shrugs like a 64-year old Jewish man.
I found this in a file. It has to be the best match of headline and author photo ever. Like Newsweek giving birth to The Onion. pic.twitter.com/Dw79Z6CZpz
I’ve seen Star Wars: A New Hope over thirty times, but this was the first time I ever realized that Chewbacca looks exactly like John Travolta. pic.twitter.com/An87eWxYMZ
my grandma just asked me if i had a boyfriend and i was like “no” and she was like “well i went to a random funeral because i was bored and that’s how i met your grandfather” ??????
One time Bill Hader came into the restaurant I worked at, stood directly in front of me, looked at the menu, noticed it was a vegan restaurant and said, “Oh sorry, I’m sorry” and left. Perfect interaction.
Vaccine companies need to team up with fast food companies because NOBODY has EVER questioned what's in a nugget/burger/spicy chicken sandwich from a building with a clown mascot or a paper crown
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: all of the snow that’s coming, I’m excited to sit down and listen to Taylor Swift’s evermore album, I still want to watch the newest season of Big Mouth, I’m so f-ing pumped for the return of Riverdale, might bite the bullet and buy this Glossier lip gloss that’s apparently NOT sticky (how is that even possible?), I really want to watch Soul, I can’t wait to make this carbonara on New Year’s Day and I’ll definitely do everything on this list for January 1st. Also, if you’re reading this on New Year’s Eve, then get your ass over here.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in November over here.
High waisted leggings from Aerie. I can’t put in a link because they’re always changing the ones they sell, but the softest/best ones are the ones that are 88% Nylon, 12% Elastane.
This Zella Crop Hoodie from Nordstrom that I pretty much wore every other day since June.
Babaton Contour V-Neck Bodysuit (so far I have it in two colours, clay & scarab), they’re amazing. They’re like better quality versions of the old American Apparel bodysuits.
Why am I devoting an entire post to a Thanksgiving side dish? I wish I could tell you. It’s been on my mind? Also, I wanted to make sure that I don’t forget exactly what I did to MAKE THE GREATEST STUFFING OF ALL TIME.
Before you lash out at me, please understand that I fully comprehend the beauty of cooking from scratch. However, there are times when certain foods simply do not need to be make from scratch. And this baby is one of them…
Yes, boxed stuffing. This stuff is magical when you add the right accoutrements. Some personal additions that I love to add are caramelized onions and sautéed mushrooms together (if you’re avoiding meat). But if you aren’t avoiding meat? The most heavenly idea is to buy unchopped (get the kind you need to slice yourself) pancetta. And then?
Cook the pancetta in a pan big enough to hold the boxed stuffing.
Once the pancetta is done, add the stuffing, one cup of chicken stock or broth and one or two tablespoons of butter and follow the remaining instructions on the box.
Eat it by the handful.
Stuffing with pancetta
I swear to you, it’s insanely good. And if you’re looking to do something with any leftover stuffing the following day, I found this incredible recipe for stuffing muffins that is just wildly good (why they weren’t called stuffin’ muffins, I’ll never know). You could eat those with gravy or cranberry sauce, but if you want to go one step better I’d recommend making this cranberry butter to go on top.
Wonderful, another month has come and gone. It’s hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood these days. I feel like all of my moods are sprinkled with bits of sadness since it’s been such a rough year on everyone. It seems hard to be hopeful and optimistic for the coming months because of everything that has gone on already, but I think I’ll continue on with my internal mantra of “fake it ‘til you make it” - that’s healthy, right? In any case, here’s what happened last month:
I usually don’t mention the things that I don’t do, but this one is notable: I didn’t have the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar this year (because I’m in Canada at the moment). So this is really just a reminder to myself to go hog-wild on them next November.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned them before, but the ready-made roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke? A PERFECT SANDWICH.
I rewatched the original (better) Jumanji and goddamit what a great movie. How did I forget what a perfect movie that was? Miss Robin Williams so much. Which reminds me: I gotta rewatch Jack soon (Coppola’s greatest movie, in my humble opinion). Haven’t seen that one in ages.
Love the new “Oat Milk Latte” nail polish colour at Urban Outfitters. Something about a boring neutral has been really turning me on lately.
The best new hand lotion I’ve used in a long time: this Kiehl’s Hand Salve. I put it on once in the morning and once before bed and it’s crazy how soft it makes them, even if you wash your hands numerous times a day (which, god, I hope you’re doing).
I know that I tend to live in the past at times, but are you ever needing to print some photos fast and don’t know where to get it done? Years ago, they had machines at Shoppers and then they disappeared. And I just discovered that Staples has those print-right-now machines! It takes seconds to print from your phone and it’s crazy cheap. I think you can only get 4 x 6 in size, but still. That’s great!
I’ll always love Cobs Bread (thanks to Marla years ago for introducing me) but I just tried their garlic focaccia and my god. Heavenly. It also makes a great base for any kind of at-home grilled cheese or even an at-home garlic bread using garlic butter.
So I tried the Popeye’s chicken sandwich that people were stabbing each other for and… I fully understand the murdering mentality. It’s an incredible chicken sandwich. I was expecting not to understand the hype, but here I stand before you, four chicken sandwiches deep.
I’ve been consistently using the Luna Night Oil from Sunday Riley (a small version that came with a gift set) and I think it’s really working well. My skin looks amazing in the morning after each use. So I might bite the bullet and buy the full size when I run out.
Just so sad to see this man pass away.
And I can’t forget this great one, too.
I simply cannot stop ordering the vegetable fried rice from Fortune Dragon in Mississauga. Can’t and WON’T.
I had such a terrible experience using Skip The Dishes the other night (there was a problem with an order and the restaurant refused to fix the problem and I was on the phone with STD (hahah, can we all call them this from now on PLEASE) for over an hour, just disgusting). So now they’re banned in our house.
And speaking of annoying food experiences, Scaddabush got rid of the best sandwich on their menu. What. the. hell. It was a prosciutto cotto grilled cheese with Italian cured ham, caramelized onions, mozzarella, and fig jam on a focaccia bun and IT IS NO MORE. I did attempt to make it at home one night and it was actually really good, but still. Who wants to spend their evenings caramelizing onions for hours in the kitchen? Well, I do, for one. But regardless! Bad move, Scaddabush.
If you’re looking for a dog groomer in Mississauga, I can’t say enough good things about You Lucky Dog Grooming. They cut Baby Dog’s nails perfectly for $10 and it took less than five minutes. They were so gentle and caring, definitely only gonna go here from now on.
There were a few massive holes in the ceiling in my parents basement (an estimate said it would be $1000 to fix) so I went to Home Depot, got the supplies and did it myself. This is something I would never even want to do, let alone actually do, so the fact that it’s fixed now is insane. Here's what it looked like.
This whole job cost $17 from Home Depot. Nothing is impossible.
Yes, I love them. Yes, they look perfect every single day and that’s amazing. But no one tells you the cons, so let me tell you what they are.
Pressing buttons is an annoyance. The buttons of debit machines especially (I’ve incorrectly put in my pin about three times so far), but also remote controls and car radio dials.
Peeling onions or garlic. Or cutting anything on a cutting board in the kitchen, basically.
You know after a shower when you towel off the wet parts of the inside of your ears? Can’t be done.
All zippers and buttons add at least five minutes to your life.
Look, I’m not an animal but sometimes your nose needs a little cleaning when a tissue ain’t gonna cut it. That being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick your nose with these.
Typing at your regular speed.
Peeling clementines is simply out of the question (which is annoying because they’re so in season right now).
Putting on and taking off necklaces.
And most of all, yes you can still scratch parts of your body, but it’s an unfulfilling scratch. These nails aren’t as sharp as my real ones, so the scratch is lackluster.
That being said, I do love them. I’m not sure if I’ll get them again, but they’re beautiful and I can definitely see the appeal.
I watched a few episodes of Somebody Feed Phil with my brother Robbie and it’s a pretty cute show. I only watched the New York, New Orleans, Venice & San Francisco episodes, but I’m sure I’ll watch the rest soon. I think I liked it because the host really lets the guests be the charming, endearing ones, and most TV hosts aren’t very good at that.
So since we missed both Thanksgivings this year, we picked a random day to do our turkey dinner and this year I did the rub for the bird (Mom handled all the gross stuff) and it came out amazing! Also made my favourite salad dressing (love a shallot in a dressing), this perfect cranberry sauce and best garlic bread. And instead of a whole pie, we just got mini pumpkin tarts from Whole Foods. The next day, I finally made the moist maker sandwich (from Friends) and it turned out really well.
Turkey a la Liz
The leftover sandwich, the next day
Best tweets of the month ahead:
men be like ”I love a girl with confidence” and then destroys it
I see tweets like, “Dems are winning, act like it!” What these fail to take into account is the country’s on the verge of breaking up with an abuser. We’ve been bombarded, traumatized for 4 years. The joy of being out is tempered by uncertainty over whether it’s really over.
Good morning! If you only look at one map today, make it this one. This is what red/blue states really look like. Land doesn't vote. People do. #ElectionResults2020pic.twitter.com/dfpl4N2MLq
Someone wanna tell me why this (perfect) baby can talk on the phone in Japanese better than me even though I've been doing it longer!! 😭🥰 pic.twitter.com/gRVTWBgg2u
I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium. pic.twitter.com/P45HV1daD9
My wife was driving us home and said “the sky is so beautiful.” I pointed to a weird old man on the street and said “this guy?” Anyway if you were in the car you would’ve laughed.
i think society won't be satisfied with BEFORE & AFTER weight loss pictures until there's a woman on the left side & just an empty pile of clothes on the ground on the right side WOW WHAT'S HER SECRET?!
In college I have discovered that I actually have a passion for nothing. My dream job is no job and a mansion by the sea with lots of windows. Manifesting xoxo ✨
Let's be clear: Dolly Parton is a millionaire and not a billionaire because she *keeps giving money away*. Being a billionaire is a MORAL FAILING. She gives away shockingly large amounts of money every year and is STILL RICHER THAN YOU AND I WILL EVER BE.
— Jerome Comeau is social-media-distancing (@Heronymus) November 17, 2020
bring back landlines i wanna be on my phone while i’m on the phone
Truly one of the worst publishing decisions in a year of particularly bad decisions was allowing Cuomo to put out a book about how he solved COVID-19 for NY.
One thing no one ever talks about being an adult is how much time you debate yourself on keeping a cardboard box because it's, like, a really good box.
This is Khan. He’s the sneakiest shoe stealer on the planet. Has never ever been caught... until now. 14/10 (IG: khantheweenie) pic.twitter.com/qyAQzDWuju
It’s fuckin wild how the solution is as simple as “just pay places to be closed and pay people to stay home” and that’s been the solution this whole time and the government is just like “nah”
Pretty incredible that homelessness isn’t even a mainstream political issue at all. Neither party gives a shit. We could solve it tomorrow and wouldn’t even miss the money but there’s no profit in that so it’s not a possibility. One of the most glaring US human rights atrocities.
capitalism is the only system that works, which is why every viral tweet has a follow-up reply from the OP linking a gofundme for a close friend who is dying
We’re being held hostage by a psychopath in kitten heels and a fake tan and his lunatic lawyer with hair dye dripping down his face because some of you thought a woman would be too emotional to run the country.
Simply cannot stop thinking about a girl I knew who dated a guy she couldn’t STAND - all because his ex died in a plane crash, & her biggest fear was dying in a plane crash, & she figured there was no way the universe would let both of this guy’s girlfriends die in a plane crash
current government messaging is like don’t go out ❤️ but bars and restaurants are open ❤️ but don’t go there ❤️ but support local businesses and restaurants they need it ❤️ but again don’t go out ❤️
The government has had 6 months to prepare for a second wave and have done absolutely nothing. Now we are punishing small businesses and workers that will not survive while our leaders eat Arctic char indoors. This is genuinely an upside down backwards society.
Do other people’s Thanksgivings operate the way my house did where dinner might be ready any time between 3pm and 9:30pm and the people cooking get very angry if you ask
My kid just started watching freaks and geeks...without me. I always wanted to watch it with her. But I get it. Because even if you start out Kim fucking Kelly, eventually you just end up someone’s uncool mom. 😭
Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: watching the new season of Big Mouth, doing the Polar Drive experience, there have been only two snowstorms so far and I can’t wait for more to come, and I’ve already started baking the chocolate chip Nutella cookies that I love to make this time of year but I want to try something new as well so I’m thinking about giving these ones a try. Christmas will of course be different this year, it’s looking like it’ll be me, my parents (since I’ve been staying here since October), Nathan & Baby Dog on Christmas morning, which actually seems like it might be kind of intimate and nice. It’ll feel wrong in certain ways because I love having my entire family here, but I’m going to try and make the most of it.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here.
Forgive the lateness of this monthly post! I wish I could say it’s late because I’ve been crazy busy, but it’s really been because I’ve been lounging my ass around various corners of my parent’s house and trying my best to not watch any American news. Here’s what went down last month.
I started watching The Parkers and, as expected, it’s pretty great. Kim for life.
I got a lash lift aaaaaand it was bullshit. My eyes have never been more irritated and that’s coming from someone who went through corneal surgery. I think lash lifts are supposed to be for people who already have long lashes. But if you have long lashes, then why the hell do you need them to be lifted? SCAM.
Are eyelash curlers bad for people with short lashes? I was told they were. But that was by someone who also recently fucked my lashes, so I’m not sure what to believe now.
So many new movies were watched in October: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely great), Motel Hell (also great), Moment of Truth: Stalking Back (too real, a little hard to watch, but I’m really looking forward to watching other made-for-tv-movies from the series), Hush (a great movie, but again: too much, I might not be able to handle modern horror & I’m fine with that), Summer Camp Nightmare (great), Goodnight Mommy (parts of it were really cringe-y to watch but it was incredible), Mom (so, so underrated), Wolf (it was actually pretty good, how on earth had I not seen it before?), House on Haunted Hill (the old version and it was great! It ends abruptly but it’s still a fun movie), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (80s as hell, but not as terrible as I thought it’d be), Creepshow 2 (just a good time), Frogs (terrible and not in a fun way), Cujo (just a story of neglectful pet owners), Night of the Demons (not bad, not good), This Is Paris (it was really, really good. It’s definitely hard to watch if you’ve dealt with abuse in any way, but it’s really well done) and I got through about nine minutes of Cats before I just had to call it.
Started getting the cashew yogurt from Trader Joe’s and it’s so addictive.
The new SNLs have been all right, nothing special. And look, I love Jim Carrey. Forever will. But he isn’t good as Biden. It’s such a weird choice. Highlight of the episodes this month? The Bieberperformances, surprisingly.
I made the Impossible Burger at home (you can buy them at any Fairway Market) and they’re absolutely the top veggie burger on the market today. So damn good.
There’s this restaurant in Mississauga (Erin Mills Pump & Patio) that does such a good job of replicating this now-off-menu pasta that I used to love from Snug Harbour and I’m so thankful to have found it. (It’s the Hunters Penne Pasta with chicken, cremini and shitake mushrooms, Italian parsley, black truffle oil in a white wine cream sauce incase you want to taste heaven.)
We went to Downey’s on Halloween this year and for the first time got their homemade cheese bread. Life will never be the same. Some photos of the day below.
The LCBO puts out a seasonal magazine with food and drink recipes that I looooove. One of my favourite magazines for sure.
I made a batch of hot ginger toddies and yes they were good but waaaay too high maintenance to make at home. It’s definitely a drink that’s easier to just order when out.
I made these ginger sesame noodles with caramelized mushrooms and wow. Definitely will make again. I’d never thought of having broth at the bottom of a bowl full of noodles, but it’s such a great idea.
If you watch it with the sound off, it looks like she's revealing to James Bond that she was on Goldfinger's side the whole time https://t.co/1Uy81p1fCc
I once had a coworker who had just moved here from France and she could not get over her horror that on Halloween we waste pumpkins by making lanterns out of them and not turning them into soup or whatever
Our whole lives we hear: Don't talk about your period. Don't talk about sex. Don't talk about infertility. Don't talk about miscarriage. Don't talk badly about a pregnancy. Don't talk about PPD. Don't talk about anything post-partum except the baby. Only a baby matters. Not you.
You don’t “make” $15/hr. You “make” 100s or 1000s of $$ worth of product each hour and sell it for $15 each hour. You didn’t make anything for yourself. You sold an hour of your life and your body for $15. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. Your labor value is getting stolen
— Bryan Lindstrom (he/him/we) (@BryanLindstrom4) October 11, 2020
Normalize starting over as many times as you need.
Just spoke to a friend who was beating herself up for not doing more with this year and I had to remind her (and myself) that we were only supposed to be doing this for 2 weeks! A month max! You didn't waste this year, it was stolen and anything you DID achieve is a miracle!
hey babe I really appreciate you taking birth control even if it fucks you up, it just feels really good on my penis to not wear a condom for the 15 minutes of sex we have twice a week
If you walk down the street and you're mad that people are living in tents, please direct your anger and effort towards creating a housing system that doesn't allow people to end up homeless because they lost a job, had medical debt, or faced a rent hike they couldn't afford.
i wonder if my cat ever looks at me while i’m sleeping and thinks “ok that is the cutest way i have ever seen someone sleeping in my life” or is it one sided
Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: reading Lindy West’s new book, decorating my parent’s house for the Christmas season, and SNOW.
