September Shenanigans 2021

So long, September! I can’t believe it’s finally here. And look, I try not to base my entire personality on the fact that I love this time of year so much but every year it’s getting harder and harder to deny it. There’s just something so electrifying about rainy nights and pumpkins on stoops, I’M SORRY. In any case, here’s what went down in September.

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I’ve been using the greatest eyebrow growth serum OF LIFE and wrote a bit about it over here (with photographic proof!).

• I recapped what I did from my summer list.

• So obviously I had to create an autumn list because this is my life.

• New podcast alert!

@rulaibraheem

##fypシ

♬ оригинальный звук - Anna Bruni

• I made this chocolate zucchini banana cake with coffee frosting for Nathan’s birthday and we both fell in love with it. This will now be the only birthday cake I ever make for him, it’s incredible.

• I went to the Italian restaurant Lilia in Brooklyn again because they always have the best focaccia (right now it’s cherry tomato with green garlic butter), so I got that as well as the corn-filled cappelletti with black pepper and pecorino and yes it was good but the pasta definitely lacked some sort of different textual element which would have sent it over the top in deliciousness. Am I being harsh? No. If you’re paying upwards of $20 for one plate of pasta, there has to be standards.

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Cherry tomato focaccia with green garlic butter

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Corn-filled cappelletti with black pepper & pecorino

• I tried the pumpkin cream cold brew at Starbucks (with one pump of vanilla instead of two because they go nuts with their pumps) and it was only okay. Why do people love it so much? The salted caramel one looks good but I can’t bring myself to go back and try it. I have such a hate-hate relationship with Starbucks, so what the hell am I even doing going in there? The last time I brought my laptop in to work in a Starbucks was in 2019 and they played the whole Hamilton soundtrack on a loop TWICE and I almost lost my mind it’s such a terrible album. I feel like an alien for not being mesmerized by Lin-Manuel Miranda, but like… he sucks?

• I ate at Forsythia again and it only confirmed its place in my mind as one of the best new restaurants of this past year. I finally tried and loved the short rib agnolotti as well as the pappa al pomodoro, which was like a beautiful tomato tartare, so summery and perfect.

• I bought these pajamas from Banana Republic Factory because they’re soft as hell and I haven’t had matching pajamas since… never.

• Links I’m Loving:

  • Okay, this is the cutest autumn sweater on the planet, COME ON.

  • Untold Horror is “a behind-the-scenes look into development hell to find the most frightening horror movies that never were, from unmade Re-Animator sequels to alternate takes on legendary franchises like Frankenstein and Dracula!” - this sounds like such a great read.

  • I Never Knew How Golden My Summers Were - a great piece on remembering the best summer of your life.

  • Creative Ways To Start Your Morning On A Good Note

  • Halloween Craft Idea For Kids: Pumpkin Stamps with Apples

  • Reason #214 Never To Get CoolSculpting

• Tuesdays at Regal Cinemas are now offering $6.25 movie tickets! This definitely can’t last, so I’m going to make the most of it while it’s offered.

• New seasonal candles are finally at Trader Joe’s.

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Autumn candles at Trader Joe’s, September 2021

• So it’s been established how much I love and support Milk Bar… but the new funnel cake soft serve is truly one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever ingested. Just shockingly gross. If you’re nearby, get a free sample and tell me how right I am.

• I went for a late summer walk through Central Park and why don’t I do this once a week.

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• I can’t get over how beautiful this song is (thanks for introducing it to me, Jessie!), it’s toooo good.

• There’s a sale on Aerie underwear right now IF you’re into that sort of thing.

• I made a zucchini lasagna that was very good but in no way better than a meat lasagna.

• Speaking of zucchini, if you own a deep fryer: please make this zucchini spaghetti or these cider battered chicken fingers and then ask me over.

• I took this (free) (actually helpful) intro to SEO class online if you’re interested in that sort of thing.

• I made these apple pie bars that are ridiculously easy, fast and incredible. I was feeling ambitious, so I made this quick caramel to pour on top.

• I fell down a rabbit hole of researching all of the Broadway theatres in New York and I might get tickets to Girl From The North Country purely to sit inside the gorgeous Belasco Theatre.

• Finally had the steak at L’Artusi and it was delicious. Best steak ever? God no, but good. They will, however, hold the title of best steak tartare in all of NYC though.

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The steak at L’Artusi in the West Village

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The best steak tartare in NYC at L’Artusi

• New things I’ve watched and rewatched:

  • Searching For Italy: so, so great. I already wanted to travel around Italy and eat everything so watching this was a delight. It’s also just so enjoyable to watch people who love their jobs. The Tuscany episode was my favourite one, mostly because I love any and all panzanella talk.

  • I attempted to watch Basic Instinct but I was in a very specific mood and had to turn it off after the rape scene. Nah thanks.

  • Never Have I Ever (season two): Love that Common is in it, hoping he becomes a regular. I can’t stand the way the writers write the teen dialogue, it’s so cringeworthy, but if you can get past that it’s an absolutely okay show. That scene in episode nine with her & Paxton when he comes in from window? Shiiiiit.

  • Broken: it’s an episode about makeup and the lesson? Watch out for counterfeit cosmetics. Got it.

  • The X-Files (The Squeeze episode): Someone told me to watch this one because it’s supposed to be scary, but it wasn’t anything special. A waaay better episode is Pusher. Watch THAT one.

  • The Witches of Eastwick: How the hell have I never seen this before? So many parts are good. Would definitely rewatch. I’ll never get over how gorgeous Michelle Pfeiffer is. Just maddening.

  • Scanners: boooooooooo. They shouldn’t make the cover look so good, it’s terrible.

  • Nightmare on Elm Street: Really holds up well. Always love it.

  • I’m rewatching Sabrina the Teenage Witch and kind of loving every minute of it. The episode where she becomes addicted to pancakes? A gem.

  • Was Dharma & Greg, like, a great show? I never cared about it at the time because I think I was too young to get into it but I just watched their Halloween episode and it was so good. Might look into this further.

  • Awkwafina is Nora From Queens (season two): With the exception of the blackout episode and the extremely hot cameo from original Reggie (Ross Butler), this season has really sucked. And this is insane to me because I loved the first season, what the hell?

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I created an autumn highlight on my Instagram incase you care to see the fun things I’m planning on doing this month, excited to read Stanley Tucci’s new book, definitely going to make these pumpkin scones with a maple glaze, I will likely buy something from this year’s Halloween Lush collection, I’m gonna do a post about my recent trip to Salem (!), and I’m in the final stages of costume planning. God, I love this month.

If you have any interest in reading what went on in August, come on over here.

March Magic 2021

Am I alone in thinking that was the longest March of all time? It truly felt like it would never end. Usually I love my birthday month, but with everything still the way it’s been for the past year, there really didn’t feel like much of a reason to celebrate. Also, Nathan got COVID. It was awful and scary and I was worried about how he’d be, but all is well and he just got his vaccine this past weekend, which is incredible. So a real roller coaster type of month, but thank god it’s over.

Here’s everything that went down last month.

• I recapped how my winter list of things to do went.

• Forever an optimist, I made a list of spring things that I’d like to do. One of my favourite things to do is get a pedicure on the first day of a season. I don’t get them very often at all, so it’s a nice way to usher in some new weather.

• I finished watching Superstore, which is such a great show. I would’ve never watched it on my own, so this is why you have to listen to your best friend’s recommendations sometimes. They know more than you. Also, it was weird as hell to hear the Smashing Pumpkins song Today in one episode. Just seemed like a strange pairing, them and this show. Or any show, really. But I mean they did lend a song to that Apple ad, so I guess the old days of Billy Corgan complaining about everything are over.

• I read and reviewed Joan Rivers’ book Enter Talking.

• I made my way back to Lilia with Irene to devour their seasonal leek focaccia & green salted butter, which is always heaven on a plate. (Me and focaccia have had a pretty strong love affair going on for some time now. I plan on making it at home soon, but I can’t decide on the flavouring I’ll want to add to it. There are too many possibilities.) We also shared two pastas: the corzetti with pine nuts, marjoram & parmigiano reggiano as well as the sheep’s milk cheese agnolotti with saffron, dried tomato & honey. Always a good meal here. Might benefit from some new pastas, though.

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My sweet baby girl, leek focaccia & her green salted butter

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Stunning Irene & pasta

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I’m very excited for bread

• I got my first Moderna shot! I usually have tons of anxiety around needles, but somehow it wasn’t a problem this time (maybe because I had the kindest nurse on the planet). It sounds so simple, but she told me to look away, to take a deep breath and while I was taking that breath she put the needle in and THAT WAS IT. So grateful for that advice. Must remember that for life now. I have my next shot on April 8th! (I did get COVID arm, but it went away in 24 hours so it really wasn’t a big deal.) Also, I’ll definitely ask a medical professional, but if it’s allowed then I’m definitely getting my card laminated for free.

• There’s this great, cute new store called Gift Box on Broadway in Astoria. It’s very similar to Lockwood, only better. Lots of cards, gifts, beauty products, candles, that kind of thing.

• It’s green garlic season and we must all celebrate! I’ve also decided that I might devote my life to compound butters. Making them, eating them, giving them away as gifts potentially. Maybe this is what’s been missing.

• Google image search the vagar faroe islands and let’s go.

• I can’t stop putting this Esti vegan feta on everything, it tastes exactly like regular feta only slightly less salty.

• Everything from the brand Umbra is gorgeous.

• These are officially (and my niece Layla can attest to it) the greatest socks on the planet. Not too tight, not too short or high, and soft as a cloud.

• Best kale caesar dressing I’ve had in months. And I love the idea of using breadcrumbs instead of croutons to liven things up a bit.

• I made this roasted winter citrus and wow was it hot fruit. It should be a crime to make something look this good, but taste average as hell.

• I started using the app Google Keep to organize all of my lists and tasks and I love it. It’s so much better than using Notes.

• HOW have I never even HEARD of Shake Shack’s Innovation Kitchen?! AND HOW HAVE I NEVER BEEN. It’s moved to the top of my current Must Visit list.

• I may or may not have fallen down a rabbit hole of incredible Melissa Clark recipes. Love this woman.

• If you live in Englewood, New Jersey, how do you not just LIVE at this bakery? My god. Every item. In my mouth. Now.

• And listen, I’m no scientist, but this seems like huge news…?

• If you find yourself anxious or unsettled, this video of lasagna being made from scratch is the most soothing thing I’ve come across in months.

• Target sells candles?! I’m the last person on earth who learned this. $4 for an actually great mini candle is wild.

• Tried a slice of the red velvet cake from Milk Bar and it was unexpectedly good. I don’t usually care about red velvet (because it’s a scam?), but honestly their cakes always find a way to taste amazing.

• I made this cajun linguine and it was so lackluster, I hate when a pasta recipe doesn’t work out. It’s so upsetting. Also, cajun seasoning can blow me.

• They’re opening a Sonic in Manhattan, which I’ve never been to before, is it worth going?

• I know Eataly is for tourists, but once in awhile I like to stop in to peruse. I tried one of their prepackaged foods (the eggplant parmesan) and it was a hard pass. Just no flavouring at all. The only thing that saved the day were their individual little Italian chocolates. Always amazing. I do want to eventually try their dried pasta Afeltra since I’ve heard such good things about it.

• I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not ready to watch documentaries about the pandemic yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever want to. I mean… we’re still IN IT, for christ’s sake. HBO needs to just sit down.

• Tell me that you know the song Sea of Love.

• You had me at “cheese-oozing focaccia.”

• Great piece on diet culture by Julia Turshen.

• When I was in Seattle in April a few years ago, I wandered onto the University of Washington’s campus and was blown away by their gorgeous cherry blossoms. They have a livestream of them right now, if you’d like to take a look.

• With plastic bags officially banned now, I desperately need a basket bag to take when I go to the farmer’s market. So f-ing lovely. Everyone will think I’m Belle or some shit.

• I don’t think I’ve ever had a fresh Jamaican patty in my life, so I’m definitely going here the next time I’m in Mississauga.

• I love this chickpea salad, especially after adding basil.

• Some of these are actually really great tips.

• How on earth have I never heard of the restaurants Dell’anima or Anfora?! They’re both under the Joe Campanale umbrella (of L’Artusi fame)! I’m so excited to go. Just look at those menus.

• Speaking of, I can’t go for too long without eating the wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi. It’s a problem. (It also makes me want to buy a really great finishing olive oil, so I’m looking into that. I’m thinking either Monini or Frantoia.)

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Wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi

• One thing I’ve started to do that you should too: buy good butter. I stopped buying margarine many years ago and thought I was a better person for buying regular grocery store butter. But sweetie, you can do more. The butter (specifically European butter) in specialty shops or some bakeries or markets is EONS better than the run-of-the-mill basic grocery butter. And it enhances literally everything that you use it in. Right now, the butter in my fridge is beurre de baratte butter and it’s ridiculously good. Obviously I’m not going to use this butter when I’m baking because I’m not a millionaire, but when I’m making something savory for dinner? Or a compound butter? Or on top of asparagus? On some bread as a snack? It’s unreal.

• Speaking of food advice: don’t buy your parmesan at the grocery store either. I’ve never had amazing parmesan from there. It’s always the same, even the expensive stuff. Get your ass to a cheese shop. Enough already, you’re an adult.

• I tried a CBD chocolate and just as I thought: it’s a scam. Just like red velvet. It did nothing for nobody.

• I bought this tea tree toner on a whim from The Body Shop and I might keep buying it for the rest of time. I use it on my face right when I get out of a hot shower and it’s kept my face feeling incredible lately.

• A new coffee shop opened up in my neighbourhood called Coffee Avenue and I can’t recommend it enough. The macadamia milk hot chocolate blew my face off.

• I finally ate at Bar Primi in the city and it was spectacular. We had the ricotta crostino with hazelnuts & truffle honey (which is almost like a dessert, it’s so good), the linguine with 4 cloves of garlic & breadcrumbs as well as the penne ragu alla bolognese with ricotta which was the very best. Can’t wait to go again. Loved the atmosphere of the place, too.

• The seasonal candle is out at Trader Joe’s and it’s grapefruit, which smells perfect. I’ve finally stopped hoarding their candles and have started burning them. Only took me a year of lockdown to realize I should try to enjoy my life.

• Lemon Kit-Kats exist and all is right with the world. Delicious.

• I don’t go very often, but I’ll always love The Dutch. Perfect cornbread. Perfect tartare. You can’t go wrong.

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Housemade scallion-chipotle cornbread with whipped butter

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Wagyu steak tartare, capers, bearnaise aioli

• *Note: if it seems like I eat a lot of steak tartare - I do. Good observation. It’s incredible.

• Controversial opinion but the Dove chocolate peanut butter eggs are one millions times better than Reese’s peanut butter cups. I couldn’t believe it either.

• This leads me to another declaration: Easter candy might be better than Halloween candy. Hear me out. Halloween candy is almost chaotic when you think of the candy options, it’s overwhelming and more often than not, disappointing. Easter candy, however, is usually always new and fresh each season. They’ve got to work harder to get you to notice Easter candy, so infact you’re getting a more well thought out product, which usually tastes better. Anyway, can you tell I’m depressed…?

• I went to the new Ulta location in NYC in Herald Square and it’s great, it seems bigger than the UWS one and it’s way more convenient to visit. Must remember. Oh! But speaking of Ulta, remember how last year they had such great birthday gifts? They really dropped the ball this year. They’re trying to give a $5 Mario Badescu facial spray as the March gift?! Are you fucking serious?! That’s the worst. Literally the worst gift of all the months. Fighting every urge in my body to write them a strongly-worded letter about this. Just insanity. I didn’t even go claim it. Keep your damn gift, no spray can calm me down from this.

• New love: macadamia milk in my iced coffee in the morning. Just heavenly.

• I rewatched Wall-E and what a great movie. For all ages. Too perfect.

• Love the song Team by Lorde.

• I watched the Woody Allen & Mia Farrow documentary on HBO and it’s obviously a must watch. So many things I didn’t know about that story were shown, this man needs to be stopped.

• If you ever get a new phone and you want to transfer over all of your WhatsApp messages to your new phone (and you’ve never backed them up), you can pay $40 and use this site to do it.

• The new Super Mario World in Japan looks incredible.

• Do not judge me, but I ordered (and returned) a SKIMS bralette. I was swayed by a few photos of women wearing it and wanted to see for myself what it felt like. Verdict: crap. Sure, the material is soft but only because it’s so poorly made and unsupportive. An immediate return. The beautiful colours of the bras are what sells the product, in my opinion. It’s so hard to find well made, beautiful browns and neutrals in undergarments.

• Speaking of what’s her name, I also ordered this KKW mini lip liner set that I’m unfortunately in love with. I use it as a lip liner and filler, and each fucking one is gorgeous. I’m going to do a post to show you. You’ll see what I mean.

• I came across this wonderful stationary store in Chelsea, City Papery. I could spend hours roaming the aisles in there. Made a mental note to go back to get some really beautiful envelopes (why on earth am I still buying the basic-ass white envelopes at CVS??), such a great store.

• I’m proofreading a book right now about the idea of living with intention and I’ll post a link to it as soon as it’s released later this year. It’s honestly one of the best self help things I’ve read in a long time.

• I’ve had a Pinterest account forever and I recently organized a lot of the recipes into seasonal categories, which has inspired me to make so many new meals this season. Check it. Also, I haven’t tried these yet, but these spring recipes (below) sound delicious.

  • Blueberry Ricotta Cake with Lavender Glaze

  • Banana Carrot Cake Cupcakes with Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting

  • Lemon Almond Pudding Cake

  • Asparagus Quiche with Hash Brown Crust

  • Apricot Shortbread Bars

  • Buttermilk Lavender Scones

  • Carrot Cake Bread with Nutella Cream Cheese Frosting

  • Lemon Olive Oil Cake with Lavender Mascarpone

• I’ve mentioned my filmmaker friend Dusty before (his film Violation was at Sundance this year), well his movie is a Critic’s Pick in the The New York Times this month, which is amazing and so well deserved. Truly could not happen to a better person.

• I have eaten approximately five pounds of asparagus since spring began and I can’t see myself stopping anytime soon. It’s so fucking good. One grievance: that huge, fat asparagus. Why’s it so big like that?? Unnatural as hell. Give me that thin, beautiful asparagus that’s increasingly so hard to find any day. And to anyone who’s like, “Don’t you hate how it makes your pee smell?” - why you gotta go smell your pee? Be normal, weirdo.

• I did Nathan’s podcast and we talked about how it’s been so beneficial to get some intentional offline time each Sunday.

• Here were the best tweets of the month.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m trying so hard to find a way to stream the last three episodes of Stanley Tucci’s Searching For Italy which has been impossible to find, will definitely go check out Little Island, excited to maybe go to the Kusama exhibit, I’d really like to make the Carbone garlic bread, I want to locate and try milk bread, my brother Robbie told me to mix balsamic vinegar & mayo and put it on a burger so I’ll try that soon, I bought some dried Rao’s pasta so I can’t wait to make it, I’m so excited that movie theatres are opening on the 2nd here (I’ll be fully vaccinated very soon so this is great), and I’m adding a resolution: I’d like to do one new thing on the first of every month (examples: buy stock in something, eat ramen, etc.).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in February over here.

February Feats 2021

The best month has arrived! I know this has been a full year of complete trash, but spring is coming and it’s always the most hope-filled season, in my eyes. So even if I’m living in a dream world, let’s pretend that things might get better.

• First things first, I tested positive for COVID earlier this month, but I’ve recovered completely and I know that I’m crazy lucky to have had it so mildly. I lost my sense of taste and smell for only a few weeks and it’s almost 100% back now, which is amazing. Somehow, magically, I didn’t infect my parents and they both tested negative (I was staying with them since autumn of last year), so that was also another little miracle.

• Some movies I rewatched in my isolation: Groundhog Day (it’s the perfect movie to watch in a pandemic), Titanic (I think I rewatch this maybe two or three times a year, it never stops being great), and Stepmom (haven’t seen this in years and though I don’t love the movie, the part when the little boy says to his mother, “No one will ever love you like I love you” is weep-worthy).

• Some new things I watched:

  • I finished the first five seasons of Superstore and it’s just a great show, with such good characters, fully recommend. The only part I hated was Sandra giving away Jerry to Carol, I just seethed at that joke for some reason.

  • The new To All The Boys I’ve Loved movie that came out. Yes, it’s super corny at times but it’s also very cute.

  • Emily in Paris, I don’t know why, it was a weird month. My two takeaways? The woman looks 12 years old, so I don’t know… the whole premise feels weird when you think you’re watching a child. And Darren Star must really find it truly hilarious when American women step in shit in France. His favourite joke on this planet, apparently.

  • The new Britney Spears documentary. Love her, loved it, hope things turn out all right for her.

  • Promising Young Woman, I loved it. Such an original, well done movie. Certain parts are slightly triggering if you’ve ever dealt with similar abuse situations, but overall it’s really, really good. (The soundtrack is great, too.)

  • Stanley Tucci’s CNN show Searching For Italy. Amazing! Love this man! I’ve had this dream trip around Italy planned for years that I intend to take one day and this show allows me to bask in that dream even harder. I should do a post about the specifics of this trip (I have it all organized within a Word document and map outlines), that way I can get people to contribute any must-do things that I should add. Okay, yes, I’ll post that later this month.

  • The Cecil Hotel series. Okay, look, the lam-Elisa tuberculosis part is intriguing as hell, but everything else? This could easily have been an hour long special. Also, fuck you Netflix for glazing over mental health issues, and giving such a strong voice to YOUTUBERS who know nothing and spout hurtful conspiracies. The whole series is so manipulatively done, absolutely do not recommend.

• Have you ever been in a Food Basics? Because christ. It’s the most depressing grocery store chain I’ve ever had the misfortune of entering. Just a shocking vibe. Never again.

• I’ll never understand why mixed bouquets exist when beautiful arrangements like this are an option. They’re always breathtaking.

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• I tried a sample of a coffee body scrub from Mine Tan and I want to buy a full sized version immediately. It makes you so insanely soft that it’s completely worth the mess that it makes after using it in the shower.

• I made hummingbird cake for the first time and it was incredible, everyone should make this cake. The photo isn’t good, but the cake absolutely was. Will totally make again. You can’t really even taste any of the pineapple, but it makes it so moist and enjoyable for days after you’ve made it.

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Hummingbird cake

• I tried the TikTok leggings and they suhuuuuuuck. Don’t buy them. Shady material. Does nothing for any ass. In order for these to look like they do in the photo, you must have previously bought the ass that goes along with it.

• I made queso that was TERRIBLE. Must remember to always use a recipe that uses Velveeta, anything else will result in a terrible queso.

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• Tried the carrot cake Oreos and of course they’re good. Oreo has been flawless these past few years at constantly reinventing themselves and succeeding. Love to see that in a cookie.

• I made this orange pound cake with orange glaze and it makes your home smell like heaven. Taste was phenomenal, too. Such a good late winter recipe.

• I tried to get into this Mark Twain biography and it was just too dense. I lasted a few pages before slowly shutting it and placing it far away from me. I know so little about the man (hence the reason I wanted to read his book) but you couldn’t pay me to finish that thing. He remains a mystery to me and I’ve come to terms with that.

@juliem717

#dogs #dog #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pups #puppy #viral #boredinthehouse #foryoupage

♬ Home - Edith Whiskers

• I know it’s 2021 but I’ll always be excited to see a Shyamalan movie. The premise seems terrible, but maybe good terrible?

• I didn’t even know that light switches were allowed to be this gorgeous.

• I also tried to read Lindy West’s latest book Shit, Actually and… I hated it. Well, what I read I hated. I really didn’t find any of it funny, which is weird because I love her. The only good chapter that I read was the one about The Fugitive. Loved this part: “I was going to say that they don’t make movies like this anymore, where the last thirty minutes is just one continuous incredible chase, except they do, all the time, but they make it all CGI so it’s impossible to care about. Who cares about a drawing of a very fast exploding truck that a computer made? Not me!“

• I finally watched the VHS from my fifth grade play Newsies and it did not disappoint. I was magical.

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• My dad and I have been sending our stamps to Oxfam for awhile now, you should send them any of your used stamps, too! It’s such a good organization. We save up all our stamps that come in and then send them a package a few times a year.

• Speaking of stamps, did you know that you can suggest a Canadian stamp theme? I do this every so often, one day I swear one of my ideas will make the cut. This is such a great idea for kids, too.

• They finally opened a Detroit style pizza place in Mississauga! Gotta try it the next time I’m there.

• I made Yorkshire pudding for the first time and it turned out well! I’m not a huge fan of the dull flavours, but I think if I used actual beef fat instead of shortening, then it would’ve tasted a bit stronger. Next time, for sure.

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Yorkshire pudding

• I bought this cake stand and dome from IKEA for my parent’s house and good god, what’s not perfect about a cake dome. What cake doesn’t benefit from its own little palace?

• Best tweets of the month ahead.

Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.

— THEMESS (@cityyyy___) February 1, 2021

When you scream out the lyrics of a song but it hasn’t gotten to that part yet. pic.twitter.com/hPj4EIPHBG

— 🌪⚡️Quiet Storm⚡️🌪 (@y0ur___highness) February 2, 2021

can’t sleep thinking about how new zealand has concerts and we have “wear two masks”

— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) February 5, 2021

tom brady is much like god, a big unkillable bitch who wants us to be unhappy

— bog person (@bromanconsul) February 8, 2021

america is the only country that would "honor" an icu nurse by having her do the coin toss before an openly sanctioned superspreader event

— Jack Crosbie (@jscros) February 7, 2021

for some awful reason my boyfriend and i keep accidentally wearing similar outfits but he's a foot taller than me so i look like a furious little doll of him

— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) February 8, 2021

My toddler daughter spent 30 min telling me she don’t like crab legs and then sat in my damn lap and had me feeding her crab legs and gone tell me “dip it in butter good”

— Hueless P. Newton aka Shaun Scheme (@NotSoNewlywedPC) January 29, 2021

bro where do i even start 😔 pic.twitter.com/ehXFk0GjjX

— SOSA (@PLENTYCASH_WAVY) February 2, 2021

I hate when kids scream in public... you don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming. ME

— Jay Skutt (@JaySkuttt) February 1, 2021

the whole idea of a highschool reunion is so messy??? like what is there to gain?

— sarah lugor!! (@sarahlugor) February 6, 2021

me: why tf does my back hurt?

also me: pic.twitter.com/maaayXkf4u

— $AM𖤐 (@40SANDSHORTiEZ) January 30, 2021

someone gotta tell the waiter i ordered mashed potatoes and it aint gon be me https://t.co/Xs1Oei21BZ

— zoe papi (@negIed) February 7, 2021

i wonder what lessons i internalized as a little girl watching what society did to @MonicaLewinsky.

— crystal may snowball (@tashakaminsky) February 8, 2021

I miss the days where goalies looked like 59 year old LCBO employees. pic.twitter.com/XKnJcJRShK

— Rodrigo Fernandez-Stoll (@rodrigofstoll) February 8, 2021

BC stands for Before Coronavirus now. Sorry Jesus take a hike

— Rachel Kiki (@RachelKiki_) February 12, 2021

Someday we won’t be a hostage situation that’s dressed up as a country.

— Kashana (@kashanacauley) February 13, 2021

paying $23 for a lukewarm hamburger delivered by a guy who has never had health insurance, our economy is running flawlessly

— Django Gold (@django) February 14, 2021

Actually, America got some fucking nerve asking for any taxes after how it showed its ass last year.

— Hype William Carlos Williams (@sheedemilio) February 13, 2021

Netflix documentaries are always like, here is the story of a teen murdered on a boat but before we get to that let’s do 3 episodes on the history of water.

— greg stone blue check mark (@gregstone_) February 14, 2021

Same energy pic.twitter.com/Hjl0Eompxe

— Nathan McDermott (@natemcdermott) February 14, 2021

the cOST???? of LIVING??????? has anybody even said that out loud lol

— nat “cops break laws to terrorize/intimidate” puff (@LeftAtLondon) February 13, 2021

7th grade Spanish teacher taught us that patatas bravas were called that because the potatoes were brave for going into the spicy sauce and I will cherish that thought for the rest of my life. Honor them. Honor their sacrifice

— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 14, 2021

I walk out of showers with all the answers

— JP (@jpbrammer) February 14, 2021

In Mexico (probably other places too), Valentine’s Day is “the day of love and friendship.” But Americans only seem interested in the romantic connections, as if platonic relationships aren’t just or even more foundational to a person’s life. Friendship doesn’t get enough credit.

— Carlos Aguilar (@Carlos_Film) February 14, 2021

hello?? excuse me???? i will cry pic.twitter.com/kaqRU9xYLe

— sarah (@heavenbrat) February 13, 2021

Like 3 weeks ago Gen z discovered wearing baggy pants and started standing pigeon toed in fit pics now suddenly my skinny jeans are cringe? Suck yaself

— malik nimale⁉️ (@AshyMalik) February 14, 2021

This guy. Saw him in the airport once and got scared before I remembered he’s an actor. pic.twitter.com/UEGjZg3fgs

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) February 15, 2021

so much of the patriarchy is men creating an imaginary woman for people to hate

— ashley ray (@theeashleyray) February 14, 2021

This is Doc. He wants to be a beekeeper. Definitely didn’t get stuck going through the trash. 13/10 dream big buddy pic.twitter.com/KHWsFpADVj

— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) February 16, 2021

Genuinely never heard someone say a man’s voice is annoying. So maybe we replace that phrase with “I hate women” and save everyone some time.

— SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) February 16, 2021

Why are the “are you a robot tests” which of these are a fire hydrants ? They should be like, describe love.

— greg stone blue check mark (@gregstone_) February 17, 2021

A short story about decisions 🙂 pic.twitter.com/smdHGQ8bwR

— Paul 😂🤣🤪 (@PaulLaugh45) February 16, 2021

Every year on NYE I think “no way they can turn this number into glasses” and every year I am wrong

— Lola Buncher (@bolaluncher) February 9, 2021

babe what’s wrong? you’ve hardly embodied my idealized version of you today

— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 16, 2021

My post covid prediction is that it will bring a sudden, strong revival of 2007-style party photography

— 𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖑 𝖗𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 🎡🎟 (@rabbitwhite) February 17, 2021

Instagram is a dating app and a PR firm and nothing else.

— Irene Morales (@irenesmoraless) February 17, 2021

This is what they meant by no one could recognize Superman with glasses on pic.twitter.com/uuBU4WpUI0

— Darceimus Prime 🤖 (@MissDarcei) February 17, 2021

i love contactless delivery they just throw the slop at your door and i run out like a little pig

— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) February 11, 2021

me waiting for them to drive away so i can do it in peace 🐷 pic.twitter.com/prc4F0jVvW

— MADELEINE 🥀 (@madeleinemua) February 11, 2021

Idolizing a politician is like believing the stripper really likes you.

— Larinzo (@LarinzoMosley) February 17, 2021

I hate when the washing machine is on the scary part.

— CLS (@CurtisLSharkey) February 17, 2021

Turns out believing in yourself is something you have to do over and over again. Cool.

— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) February 18, 2021

Sorry to get so political, but I just don’t think anyone deserves to freeze to death

— Larry (@lahreigh) February 17, 2021

Scientists have successfully combined every Seinfeld character pic.twitter.com/wmxFAl4Odm

— the responsible uncle (@DaveMcNamee3000) February 19, 2021

If you were in your 20’s circa 2003 in Toronto you were unfortunately a member of broken social scene and you are entitled to compensation

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) February 19, 2021

I love games like the Sims and animal crossing like "imagine how you could decorate a home if you had money"

— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) February 19, 2021

Jesus, one of the saddest things about living in America is watching people realize in real time that no help is coming

— Lesbian Death Bed: The Bed That Eats Pussy (@bitterkarella) February 19, 2021

Welcome to the weekend! 💕 pic.twitter.com/5jPsdO6z6u

— Katie S. Phang (@KatiePhang) February 20, 2021

Couples on onlyfans captioning their videos like “oiled up slut takes bbc” like sir, that is your wife.

— Majin Buu (@Jessieraee5) February 19, 2021

My glass of wine is starting to taste like I’m Friends With Everyone Online

— Grace Bahler (@oatmilkforever) February 20, 2021

black parents really treat you like you asked to be here😂😂😂

— Monaee🧞‍♀️ (@brimonaee_) February 19, 2021

i miss going to the airport and having sexual tension between you and anyone who's remotely your age

— rebecca jennings (@rebexxxxa) February 22, 2021

an essay is complete when i cannot bear to look at it any longer

— m (@mary__retta) February 22, 2021

Been drinking outta the same giant blue cup for a year now and I think everyone I zoom with really hates the sight of the fucking thing.

— David Stassen (@davidstassen) February 24, 2021

parents can tell when ur drunk or high but can’t tell when ur 8 years into having an eating disorder

— angel baby (@unwh0retunate) February 24, 2021

How I think I look in a scarf How I really look in a scarf pic.twitter.com/FYvWiGCD2E

— Fiona Taylor (@fionaleslie) February 24, 2021

Nobody:
My mom: they’re just jealous of you.

— CAELI K. (@OnlyCaeliK) February 25, 2021

I don’t watch marvel movies because it just feels unrealistic that Americans would uhh... save the world

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) February 26, 2021

'Why fit in when you were born to stand out?' says yet another bio from a mother of three who's engagement photos of her and her bearded plaid shirt wearing partner were taken in a pumpkin patch

— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) February 26, 2021

there are 7-10 women i could text at any point in time that will justify a fucked up purchase for me and i’d die for them

— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) February 25, 2021

I hate that going out and getting a little exercise actually makes me less depressed. Fuck you

— Sophie (@jil_slander) February 25, 2021

$15/hr is only just over $31k a year. We’re begging to be just poor instead of severely impoverish and we can’t even get that.

— not accepting applicants at this time (@_fohsarah) February 26, 2021

Whatever’s going on in outer space is literally none of my business

— Rachel Davies (@rachelcomplains) February 26, 2021

every time kevin from Backstreet Boys gets to sing a line i think ‘good for him’

— jamieloftus 🏂 (@jamieloftusHELP) February 27, 2021

normalize women putting as many, or as little, exclamation marks as they want to in emails and still respecting them either way🤝

— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) February 27, 2021

Didn’t know I needed this pic.twitter.com/g8UQau46s0

— Steve Braband (@stevebraband) February 27, 2021

me telling my computer i’ll update everything tomorrow pic.twitter.com/5NIGfcJfB7

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 28, 2021

would be a huge power move for kanye to wheel out the robert kardashian hologram as his divorce lawyer

— louisa (@louisakeight) February 20, 2021

It’s like I always say, any girlfriend of my friend is a girlfriend of mine

— Diego Lopez (@thisdiegolopez) February 28, 2021

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: can’t wait to make this kale caesar with breadcrumbs, there are surprisingly good Sephora rewards available right now (I just got the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Serum Crystal Elixir reward that I can’t wait to try even though I have zero idea what it does), I’m going to do some research into all of these books and try to find the best ones at the library, I’m so excited that Shrill has a release date (May 7th), I’d love to get a haircut, and I can’t wait to get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. Oh, and I plan on eating the hell out of this leek focaccia at Lilia.

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A post shared by Lilia Ristorante (@lilianewyork)

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in January over here.