October Occurrences 2019

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , , , , ,


Forgive the lateness of this post! It was an insanely busy month and I’ll try not to let this kind of delay happen again. SO MUCH HAPPENED! Details below.

  • I went on two trips this month! The first was to the Bahamas and it was so great. I stayed at Atlantis (because well, that’s where my parents were staying and they kindly let me stay with them, IF YOU MUST KNOW) and while Atlantis was super nice, it really felt like what I imagine a big cruise ship to feel like. I’m not meaning that as an insult at all - it just felt sort of stiff, well maintained, with a very controlled environment. I tried lionfish for the first time (very good), drank Bahama Mamas and slid down the shark-surrounded Leap of Faith (horrifying). We ate at Jose Andres’ restaurant Fish and it was absolutely unreal. The seafood was phenomenal.

Parents in the Bahamas

  • My second trip was to New Orleans for the week of Halloween! I’ll do a full post on this one because there’s too much to say. (Full post here!)

  • In some upsetting news, I accidentally “recovered” my phone and lost most of my Bahamas photos. I was so upset because it was completely my own fault. I hadn’t backed up my photos to my computer yet either, so it truly sucked. I do have iCloud but I never opted to pay for the extra space so it’s been full for about a year already. Enter my saviour Marla who told me about Google Photos (which is free) and I’ve already started using and backing up almost daily. I’ve moved on from losing the photos by rationalizing it in thinking that I wasn’t meant to have those photos, they were meant to be memories.

  • Remember when I told you to watch Tuca & Bertie because it’s so lovely? Well, if you did, this is a really great piece about Bertie’s boyfriend, Speckle.

  • Can’t get enough of the Pink Lady Apple flavour of Health-Ade. So goddam tasty.

  • Years ago, I watched and hated the second Sex & The City movie (too xenophobic, cliched and generally terrible) but I rewatched it on a plane recently and while it’s still a bad movie, I had completely forgotten about the storyline about Carrie and Big “defining the parameters of their own relationship.” Best part of the movie! I won’t give away too much, but you may want to rewatch this stinker if nothing better is on.

  • We rewatched all of the Sleepaway Camp movies and they really hold up well. Such a solid series.

  • I did two of Nathan’s podcasts this month: one where we talked about vaping and one where we talked about what annoys Nathan and my Joker thoughts! I had a lot of Joker thoughts. Quick summary? IT BLEW. I feel like the world grieves for broken men and I do not wish to.

  • I tried pumpkin-flavoured Kit Kats and although a little gross at first, they really do taste like pumpkin. And after two or three bites, become delicious.

  • In keeping with autumn flavours, I tried the pumpkin cream cold brew from Starbucks (I know, despite this one instance, I am still trying to stay away from the corporations that are slowly eating away at society as we know it). Anyway, the drink was only MEH. It’s wild how we’ve made milkshakes acceptable for adults to drink at 8am.

  • I’m not sure if I’ve already shared this tip, but I have THE greatest advice for someone who’s trying to avoid a cold from starting. You know that point right before you get a cold, when your throat feels a little tingly and sensitive? And you know that a cold is coming right around the corner? All you need to do to avoid this from happening is buy the blue Listerine and gargle with it once in the morning and once before bed and gargle for about 30 seconds each time. I SWEAR TO GOD THIS WORKS. But only with the blue Listerine. I’ve tested this theory twice now and it absolutely works, someone give me a medal for curing the common cold. (And if you really don’t believe me, buy the travel size before you commit to the larger bottle, geek.)

  • Riverdale is BACK! The season premiere episode dealing with Luke Perry’s death was so good and so sad and that’s all I have to say about that. This tweet sums it up.

  • As for the more recent episodes of Riverdale? The latest Halloween episode was pure and complete madness and I love how nuts it’s becoming. This tweet sums it up.

  • I started watching the new season of This Is Us and I think I figured out what’s wrong with this show: every character on it is almost TOO in love with their partner. It’s enough already, we get it, love exists. The show is so wildly saccharine now. Maybe it was always that way and I never noticed before? Either way, I might be passing on it this season.

  • I read and reviewed Abbi Jacobson’s newest book and you can see that full post over here.

  • I really hate cleaning shower curtains and the mold-free one that I got from The Container Store (only $10) has lasted me a full six months before getting gross. Highly recommend!

  • Cannot stop playing this song or this song.

  • J. Crew was having a pretty sweet sale and I bought this gorgeous-fitting underwire 90s swimsuit that I can’t stop praising. No one told me about underwire swimwear! So fucking flattering.

  • My absolute favourite place to get Halloween costume accessories is by far the Village Party Store in Manhattan. They somehow have every single thing you’d need for a costume, they’re super inexpensive and the staff is so helpful (eons better than any Spirit). I was talking about costume stuff with one of the guys who works there and he mentioned how a group of women had just come in to get stuff for their group costume: they all were going to be different Keanu Reeves characters. Is it just me or is that the greatest group costume you’ve ever heard of? He said they were definitely going to do Neo from The Matrix, Ted from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Jack from Speed, Duke Kaboom from Toy Story 4 and Sad Keanu. PURE GENIUS.

  • My favourite SNL sketch of the season so far, for sure.

  • LOVED the new season of Big Mouth. But can we pleeeeease stop with the musical episodes? NOBODY LIKES THEM.

  • Speaking of Big Mouth, I watched the movie Disclosure and wowza. Great movie. Can’t believe I’d never even heard of it before. Just rewatched it again with Nathan this past week. So good.

  • Another great NYC Halloween store is Abracadabra on 21st street. It’s a more expensive place to shop, but if you just want to browse then definitely visit this place. There are tons of interactive displays and the whole basement has incredible costumes for rent.

  • You can see this year’s Halloween costume over here, if you so please. In other costume news, Baby Dog was a lion. Roar.

Lion!

  • I finally tried Mario Badescu’s Drying Lotion and whoa. I get the hype. It fucking obliterates pimples. It’s hard to sleep in since it goes on like calamine lotion and smudges everywhere if you lay face down (do people sleep like this? I sleep like I’m in a coffin & Nathan hates it because I look like a mental patient but it’s so fucking relaxing, I can’t stop), but it works really well if you can figure out a way to sleep without it rubbing off.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: celebrating American Thanksgiving since I missed the true (Canadian) one last month while I was in the Bahamas, introducing Nathan to the Momofuku Thanksgiving croissant, taking Baby Dog for autumn walks in Central Park, getting my copy of Lindy West’s new book that arrives in my mailbox tomorrow, still working on doing things off of my autumn list, reading Jenny Slate’s new book, if you find yourself always losing your poppy I find it helpful to attach mine to a safety pin rather than just the regular pin that comes with it, and I’ll probably definitely see A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood even though I do think it’s unnecessary.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in September over here!


September Shenanigans 2019

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , ,


This is how I feel about the beginning of October.

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To put it mildly, I’m excited. But before we start the greatest time of the year, here’s what went down in September!

  • I can’t seem to stop going to L’Artusi in the West Village, I might have a problem. This will be the only place I take all visitors for pasta from here onward. Recently I went to try this beast (shown below): the summer ricotta gnudi with chanterelles, sweet corn and chilies. They also had their wagyu steak tartare as a special (they do this every once in awhile) and it’s by far the best steak tartare in this damn city. SO GOOD. And since summer was still well under way, I also got the corn with pepperoni, chilies and scallion ash as a side dish. (What the hell is scallion ash? Absolutely couldn’t tell you, but I gobbled it up.) SIDENOTE: I still can’t stop making their mushroom ragu at home. I tried it with Banza and holy shit, it was still good. I think I’ll be taking a break from making it any time soon since I’ve made it approximately 12,000 times, but you should definitely try it out if you haven’t already.

  • I’ve made this Crispy Balsamic Chicken a few times now because it’s insanely easy to make and comes together crazy fast. Also, I think I’ve learned the secret to crispy skin every time: PAT THE CHICKEN TOTALLY DRY! Maybe everyone knew this already, but I certainly did not.

  • Nathan and I saw It: Chapter Two and loved it! I wasn’t expecting to since the first one is so great, but I might have liked this one even better! Also, hot tip: you know the Chinese restaurant they’re eating at in the beginning of the movie? Apparently (sources say) that was filmed inside the Mandarin on Matheson in Mississauga! That’s my Mandarin! I’m definitely going to ask about it the next time I’m there, because if that’s true that is MADNESS. So cool.

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  • Since horror movie season has begun, Nathan and I watched Halloween 2 and Halloween 3: Season of the Witch and you know what? Not terrible! I remember seeing them as a teenager and bitching about how lame they were, but I was just acting my age, I think. Solid ass movies.

  • We also watched Psycho II and Psycho III and thought the same thing! Great movies! Okay, not great - but definitely not bad. Psycho II was a delight. We’re not better than horror sequels, people. We might think we are, but we ain’t.

  • I tried the new eyebrow pencil from Fenty and even though it’s a good product, it’s definitely not worth $20. I could get three Colourpop ones for less than that and it’s pretty much an identical product.

  • I’m a stone cold sucker for new Trader Joe’s products, so obviously I tried the new Organic Sparkling Apple Cider Drinking Vinegars and they. were. delicious. Both flavours. Insanely good.

  • I have been on a mission to find yellow underwear lately and finally found the motherlode at PINK. Yes, I hate that it’s part of the Victoria’s Secret brand, but I’m still on the hunt. Recommendations welcome.

  • I watched the new, short 9/11 documentary In the Shadow of the Towers: Stuyvesant High about the kids who went to school near the towers and it was really well done. Obviously incredibly sad, but I can’t help but watch any new 9/11 stuff that comes out for some reason.

  • I also watched Chelsea Handler’s new documentary about white privilege and parts of it were good, while other parts just made me roll my eyes a lot. The fact that there’s ever even a debate about white privilege will forever blow my mind. I get what she was trying to do with this project, but it kind of just missed the mark ultimately.

  • I finally wrote about my experience at the new TWA Hotel at JFK.

  • I have been toasting garlic and breadcrumbs in a saucepan until it’s lightly golden brown and then adding it as a heavy garnish to my pasta dishes lately and… I think I’m a new woman. Tastes unreal.

  • Here are some of my favourite photos from the summer and yes it looks like I love summer but I still think it’s the worst season, I promise you.

  • I wrote about our trip to Vermont last month.

  • I assessed how many things got done off of my summer list.

  • I rarely listen to new, whole albums anymore because… actually I don’t know why I don’t do that anymore. But people really wouldn’t shut up about Taylor Swift’s Lover, so I listened to it on Spotify and it was actually pretty good. Not all of it, god no. But my favourites include: Cruel Summer, The Archer and Paper Rings. And of course, I still can’t stop listening to this song.

  • I went to Bar Sardine for the first time and here’s what I didn’t like: the seating is wildly uncomfortable (stool seating? in 2019? pick it up, industry), the food was extremely decent but overpriced and the waitstaff (at least our waiter) was too pushy. Yes, the burger was good (I mean, what burger isn’t?), but for $17? Eat me. No. What are we doing here.

  • Also went to The Happiest Hour and passssssss. I’m so sick of this trend of TINY ASS BURGERS costing more than $15. Fucking done with it. I’m THIS CLOSE in vowing to never eat a restaurant burger again and just get Shake Shack instead. So sick of this shit.

  • I made my autumn list of things I want to do!

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: new Big Mouth episodes on the 4th, I might take a day trip out to Sleepy Hollow, I plan to decorate, I’d really love to have an autumn party (and make use of this great punch bowl idea), think of Baby Dog’s Halloween costume, I’ll definitely watch a few of these, I may partake in the Pumpkin Float, I’m intending on doing my 31-days-of-Halloween celebration yet again (which means that I’ll try to do at least one spookily themed thing each day), and I cannot wait for the return of Riverdale (!) on the 9th.

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Helloooooooo October, get your spooky ass in my bed.

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If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in August over here!


June Jaunts 2019

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , ,


Happy Canada Day! Here’s what went down last month.

  • I finally started taking collagen powder and I really think it’s working (thanks for the tip, Harmeet!) because my nails are longer than ever and my hair seems more luscious? I could just be feeling myself on the hair, though. Hard to tell for sure.

  • I made the mushroom garganelli pasta that I dream about from L’Artusi and it was phenomenal. The mushroom ragu tastes EXACTLY like it could be a meat sauce. Even Nathan agreed that it was amazing and he hates mushrooms. Makes zero sense. This dish is witchcraft.

  • Earlier this month, I finally overshared about what our new apartment looks like, if you’d care to take a look.

  • Made my way to see the new Camp exhibit at The Met.

  • Saw Late Night, and while I will always support that vision of a woman, the movie was only okay. Very specific opinion, but I wish Cate Blanchett had played the main character.

  • Speaking of Mindy, look at this gorgeous, perfect outfit.

  • Remember those flavoured powders for popcorn that were popular a few years ago? How have I never thought of making a homemade dill topping for at-home popcorn?! HOW?! Such a good idea.

  • Watched the Black Mirror episode Striking Vipers and loved it, I don’t want to even watch the other two new ones because how could they possibly be better than that one. (Also, are we really calling three episodes a season? Get real.)

  • I have made Ina Garten’s rigatoni with sausage & fennel so many times this month and I’m still not sick of it, such a crazy good pasta. Especially if you’re trying to impress someone.

  • IDEA: Turn burger buns into garlic bread, THEN eat as part of a burger.

  • I don’t know why but I finished The Big Bang Theory. I know, it’s embarrassing to admit. It was not a good show!

  • ‘NOTHER IDEA: Clean your Apple headphones with toothpicks! Totally didn’t know you could do this. And if you haven’t, you really should. Some nasty stuff gets up in there. It’s pretty satisfying to clean, too. Just do it in private.

  • Tried the (super tiny) burger at Whit’s End in Rockaway and yes it was good, but WHERE WAS THE REST OF IT?!

I should’ve put a quarter next to it for scale

  • I rewatched Waiting To Exhale (I think I saw it when I was a kid) and man, that movie holds up. So, so good.

  • So in love with this brand. I don’t love the phrase Toronto VS. Everybody, but if they make a Mississauga one? WATCH OUT.

  • Love this New Yorker piece my Dad sent me about getting a dog.

  • Gotta be honest, kinda excited to see the glaze waterfall. You know what makes Krispy Kreme better than most donuts? Not a lot of doughiness inside. The best kind of donut showcases the outside coating. A KK donut is all outside coating. It’s practically hollow on the inside. This is the secret. I could go on about this, but I’ve already said too much.

  • Completely forgot about the show You Wish, which I can’t stop watching. Summertime sadness?

  • Saw the new Child’s Play as well as the old one. Obviously the old one is better, but the new one really isn’t that bad. Human murderers are always better than robot murderers.

  • Excited for Samantha Irby’s book that comes out next year.

Salmon with dill sauce

  • Saw Ma in theatres and you know what it really wasn’t bad, whatever anyone tells you. I think I’d classify it as wacky as hell.

  • This is honestly the best egg salad I’ve ever had. It’s definitely due to the addition of dill pickle juice (fucking nuts for dill this month) and the elimination of celery.

  • Found maybe the best poutine in this country at The Astorian in Queens.

Check those fuckin’ curds

  • I started using Benefit’s Mini Gimme Brow and it’s cool?? Honestly, I don’t even know. Sometimes I think I need another, smarter woman to just sit me down and tell me what’s good and what’s not. This is supposed to help make thin eyebrows look bushy, right? If that is actually its intent, then it’s doing its job correctly.

  • All right, look. You KNOW that I hate having opinions on celebrities (ie. people NONE OF US KNOW), but I’m putting a hold on that for a sec. Here’s who I hated this month: Amber Rose (or anyone repping any fucking laxative tea), Bernie Sanders (the arrogance that comes off of this man… I can’t stand it, he doesn’t have all of the answers, can we please stop acting like he’s some sort of savior), and Chris Brown. How is Chris Brown still someone people are in love with? How are people still okay with him? MAN BEATS PEOPLE. For fuck sake.

  • The only winner this month.

  • Love this exchange so much.

And that was June! Some things I’d like to do this month: visit Profundo Day Club for the rooftop pool, find some humidity-proof houseplants (recommendations welcome), spend some time in Coney Island, try to see Crawl and maybe make some fun food for the 4th of July.

If you enjoy reading these monthly posts, you can find the one from last month over here.


by Liz Heather in ,


There was a time when I would have ordered a watery nest of zoodles without a moment’s hesitation. There was also a time when I couldn’t write or participate in life because I was so hungry and unsatisfied and obsessed with foods I didn’t allow myself to eat. I finally sought help last year, and now I see how problematic it is, this movement to pass off “healthy” foods as “unhealthy” foods. It sends the message — that lands particularly hard with women — that our hunger and appetites are things that must be controlled and manipulated and tricked by vegetable-shaped noodles and liters of water. I’ve used my voice as a writer to reclaim my dignity and self-respect, and one day it just clicked that the way I talked about myself to myself, and the way I ate in response to that nasty and unforgiving voice in my head, was about as far from empowered as it gets. I will no longer participate in a system that tells women we should eat less and weigh less and be less, and it is my dream for all of us to stop doing penance for eating pizza and to stop berating our perfectly fine bodies because it just makes it okay for guys to berate our perfectly fine bodies. You know the Bechdel test for movies and books? I want to create my own test that challenges women to have conversations about anything but our bodies. All this to say, fuck you, zucchini noodles. And you, too, cauliflower rice.
— Jessica Knoll