December Dalliances 2022

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Christmas Eve view, December 2022

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here. (I also made a list of my very favourite Christmas tweets.)

• I recapped my autumn list of things to do and made a new seasonal list of things I’d like to do this winter.

• I compiled my favourite photos of 2022.

• I finally wrote about my trip to Las Vegas from back in September.

• I read and reviewed Dave Grohl’s memoir.

• I went to the newly opened (and fantastic) Museum of Broadway.

• I got a seasonal latte at Elevenses Cafe in Astoria and it was very cute, I’d go again.

• I have fallen in love with The Body Shop’s new scent Wild Pine. I’m fearful that it may be a seasonal scent, so I’ve already stocked up.

• I ate at Soothr and it was so, so good. Love a new thai place.

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Paul at Soothr, NYC

• Some things I watched this month:

  • The Santa Clauses (the new Tim Allen show): Ugh, it was terrible. Maybe I’m not the audience it’s supposed to be for, but still - just a stinkfest.

  • Jack Frost: I love Michael Keaton, but I just couldn’t get past the first half hour. It’s way too sad.

  • The Crown (seasons 3-5): Loved the season three Wales episode. The moon landing one was also perfect. It’s a great show, but extremely depressing if you’re binging it over a short period of time.

  • Pepsi, Where’s My Jet?: God, I hated it. Netflix has this annoying habit of making documentary series out of things that could easily be 40 minutes long and it is obnoxious as hell. You do not need to watch this. Read the Wikipedia page about it instead, you’ll save yourself so much wasted time.

• I was looking up trivia for the movie Scrooged and learned that the childhood house in the movie is a real place in Queens! So obviously I walked over to see it in person. Insanity that it hasn’t changed after all of this time.

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Frank Cross’ childhood home from Scrooged (1988) in Queens, New York

• I won a lottery ticket to see A Christmas Carol on Broadway and… YIKES. I can’t describe how bad it was. First of all, IT WAS A ONE MAN SHOW. And I didn’t know that beforehand, so yes that’s my fault. But oh my god, it was agony.

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A Christmas Carol on Broadway in New York, December 2022

• Are we all aware of how garbage the brand Silani is? I tried it for the first time and lord was it bad. Never again. Spend the extra dollar and eat something edible.

• I watched the final World Cup game with my parents and I’m glad France lost, give others a chance to win too, ya know?

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World Cup final with my parents, December 2022

• I will never be above latte art.

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Latte art from San Remo’s in Etobicoke, Ontario

• I went to Bell, Book & Candle for some Christmas themed drinks and it was great. Love a divey, but good bar.

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With Irene at Bell, Book & Candle, NYC

• Is it even Christmas if I don’t make Nutella stuffed chocolate chip cookies? I also made a few batches of Alison Roman’s amazing chocolate chunk shortbread cookies that were a big hit.

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The Nutella stuffed chocolate chip cookies from Ambitious Kitchen

• Obviously I went to my parent’s house for Christmas and it was exactly what I wanted & needed.

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My nephews watching Jingle All The Way, December 2022

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My mom’s Christmas window can’t be beat

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Christmas Day, December 2022

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Our Christmas tree

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Snowfall before Christmas is everything to me

• Went ice skating for the first time in twenty years and it was great. Think I’m gonna buy some skates and make this a yearly thing.

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Ice skating at Celebration Square in Mississauga, Ontario

• Jackbox and Nintendo Switch games remain the perfect family activity around the holidays.

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The game Use Your Words on Nintendo Switch

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The game Use Your Words on Nintendo Switch

• My mom and I saw a wild fox in her backyard and it. was. incredible. It was just playing in the snow and I can’t believe we got to see him/her.

• Winter skies might be the best skies.

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December 2022

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If only I could bottle this kind of blue and keep it in my pocket

• I made the Christmas tree spinach and artichoke dip and it was a hit. It did not look pretty, but the flavours were great.

• I also made a leftover turkey sandwich with STUFFING WAFFLES and it was so, so good. Again it photographed rough, but tasted incredible. I used this recipe to make the waffles. Definitely have to do this again.

• The main reason to go to the Union Square Holiday Market? Duck confit poutine at Duck Season. It’s honestly a better poutine than some Canadian places.

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Duck confit poutine at Duck Season in NYC

• I fell absolutely in love with the newest Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode, The Plight Before Christmas.

• Crate & Barrel continues to have the cutest fabric Christmas ornaments.

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Harry Potter-looking cat ornament at Crate & Barrel

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Fabric snowman ornament at Crate & Barrel

• Trader Joe’s had Christmas wreaths this year, so I got one and it was perfect. It makes me feel so together to have a wreath on my door. I still have it up. I don’t want to say goodbye.

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Christmas wreath from Trader Joe’s

• I went to see Noah Baumbach talk about his new movie White Noise at a NYPL event and it was very all right. I wish he’d talked more about older movies of his that I’ve loved, but I guess it makes sense that he didn’t since he was promoting this one.

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Noah Baumbach speaking at an NYPL event promoting White Noise, December 2022

• The candy cane cold brew from Blank Street? Unparalleled.

• One of my favourite things to do in December in New York is to walk around the city looking at the holiday lights and listen to that Darlene Love song on repeat.

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The Rockefeller Christmas Tree, December 2022

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Saks holiday lights, December 2022

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Macy’s holiday decorations, December 2022

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Holiday taxi display on Fifth Avenue, December 2022

• I went to Essex Market to see their Gingerbread Village display, which was cute but I wish it was bigger. And since I was there, I took a look at the sandwich menu at Shopsin’s and holy christ I need to go back.

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Gingerbread Village at Essex Market in NYC, December 2022

• Nothing better than a Boxing Day puzzle.

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Boxing Day, December 2022

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m going to get real dressed up and go see Moulin Rouge on Broadway with my friend Diana, I’m excited about seeing the Restaurant Week menus for this season, I’m going to start using this first-of-the-month checklist again, Classpass is doing a free monthly promotion right now so I’ll keep doing that until it starts charging again, and I really can’t wait to make this lasagna soup.

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The Heathers 2022

If you have any interest in the other monthly roundups of 2022, they can be found here: November 2022, October 2022, September 2022, August 2022, July 2022, June 2022, May 2022, April 2022, March 2022, February 2022 & January 2022.

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Baby Dog, December 2022

September Shenanigans 2022

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Early fall sunsets are easily the best ones all year

Officially the latest monthly post I’ve ever done, I’m sorry! I promise it will never happen again. We’re right in the middle of autumn and everything is overwhelming, but a good kind of overwhelming. Here’s what went down in September (oh god that feels like a year ago).

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I finally went to visit the video rental space Kim’s Video downtown.

• I made a collection of my favourite photos from the summer.

• I recapped what I did off my summer list of things to do.

• I wrote my autumn list of things that I intend to do this season.

• I did a podcast with Nathan that can be heard over here.

• I know I’ve mentioned how good Aquaphor is for ashy elbows, but I’ve also discovered that it’s incredible at healing damaged pimple areas. For instance, when you pop one and it goes so wrong. I did this recently and then put some of it right on top and it was completely healed in two days.

• I’ve tried the Carbone jarred pasta sauce and it was great! It’s overpriced, so I’d only buy it on sale. And some flavours can be a little too oily, but overall it tastes great.

• I finally saw Nope and I think I liked it. It’s probably my least favourite of his movies, but it was enjoyable to watch. That shoe standing upright bothered me for way too long before I looked it up and connected the idea of “bad miracles” but other than that, it was all right. Love the way that man promotes a movie.

• I had dinner at Fiaschetteria Pistoia and the duck ragu was really good. It’s an aggressively tiny restaurant, but the food made it worth it.

• Since it’s illegal to operate any cashless operation in New York City, if you ever see a place trying to tell you otherwise - report them! To consumers@dca.nyc.gov - I do it all the time.

• Some things I watched:

  • The Woodstock documentary on Netflix: only three episodes, great watch. You will hate all concert promoters by the end of it.

  • Volcano: okay, I can finally settle this debate. It is NOT better than Dante’s Peak.

  • Never Have I Ever (newest season): I almost wanted to hate it (why? I’ve watched all the seasons? I can’t explain this?) but I keep loving it. I can acknowledge that younger people have every right to hate this show. The supplementary characters just keep getting better and better.

  • The Keaton episode of New Girl: I’ve never seen this show because it looks bad and I wouldn’t like it. That being said, I watched this one because it was a Halloween episode and I also thought there was a chance of Michael Keaton being in it. God, what a mistake. This episode only confirms what a terrible show it really is. Can we retire fat suits already?

  • Killing Me Softly: honestly just a wild ride of a movie. Everyone should watch it.

  • Hocus Pocus 2: okay, let me start this by saying that this movie isn’t for me. It’s for children. And I can respect that. I just wish that more characters from the original were in this one, that would’ve made me so much more into it. Nothing will beat the original in my mind and that’s perfectly acceptable.

• So I went to Las Vegas again and I got to eat at the new Martha Stewart restaurant The Bedford. Of course my expectations were high because 1) I love her and 2) she’s never opened a restaurant before. The servers are extremely well trained (which is wonderful, I love this detail) they have even been taught to say “cheers” in Polish. The attention to detail on the decor of the individual tables as well as the entire space is perfection, even the temperature was just right. However, there had to be cons. All burgers should have round buns, what reason is there to mess with that simple fact? The smashed potato (which is smashed table-side) is an incredibly stupid idea and almost seems like a joke on the white people who would actually enjoy it. Small side orders of sauces should absolutely never cost $9, that’s ludicrous. The fries were wildly overcooked in overused oil (how does one mess up french fries?) and the prices, sure, they were outrageous but that fact tracks since it’s in Las Vegas. The homemade mustard was really tasty (maybe because you never come across homemade?) and her béarnaise sauce was perfect. The oysters Rockefeller were good, if only a little bit chilly. All in all, it was an experience. One that I’ll happily never have to have again.

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The Bedford in Las Vegas

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Oysters Rockefeller at The Bedford in Las Vegas

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Am I wrong or does this burger bun belong at Wendy’s?

• I also ate at Bazaar Meat By Jose Andres in Vegas and it was spectacular. I got the cotton candy fois gras, the patatas bravas and the meatball. Love this man. Love his food.

• I tried the tacos at Dirty Taco (an LA street-style taco place) in Grand Central Terminal and the duck skin tacos were only all right, but the steak ones were fantastic. The tortillas were also great. Also, maybe it’s a bad idea to have the word dirty in your name?

• I made these pumpkin lasagna rollups that have the exact right amount of pumpkin in them.

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Pumpkin lasagna rollups

• Also made this blueberry buckle that tasted especially good with some maple syrup on top.

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What’s a buckle? Basically cake… yeah it’s just cake.

• I finally went to the Manhattan location of The Alamo and this theatre is great, but impossible to find. It’s also where the new Kim’s Video is hiding.

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Who on earth is expected to easily find this place, you tell me

• I had brunch at Sala in Astoria and just wow. I never thought I’d have the best BLT of my life at a tapas place. Everyone needs to go.

• I read the Chloe Hilliard book Fuck Your Diet: And Other Things My Thighs Tell Me and… meh. Can we all make a pact to never use the phrase eating clean ever again? The book was really very okay, I think I just wish it was more about her being a comedian and less about body stuff. It’s obviously my fault since the title really does say it all.

• If you aren’t watching the Halloween episodes of Bob’s Burgers this month, you may not be cooler than I am.

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Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: oh god, so many Halloween related activities, I can’t wait to finalize our costumes, I’m definitely going to make these pumpkin cookies again, I’d love to make garlic chicken meatballs with orzo for dinner on a rainy night, I really want to walk around Central Park with Baby Dog since all the leaves are changing and I’d really love to have next month’s roundup post written on time. Fingers crossed. Oh and here’s a link to all of the fall festivals happening around NYC right now.

If you have any interest in what went on in August, come on over here. I also have an autumn highlight reel on Instagram if you care to see what I’m up to this season.

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Baby Dog with the last of the summer sunflowers, September 2022

February Feats 2022

My favourite month has arrived! Spring is coming and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I compiled my favourite tweets about love for Valentine’s Day.

• I read and review Elvira’s new memoir.

• I know that it’s older, but I’ve kept the song Gypsy by Lady Gaga on repeat for about two weeks now.

• I made garlic confit and I’ll be real with you - it looks way better than it tastes. And that’s coming from someone who adores garlic. By cooking it down, it actually makes the garlic flavour quite mild so it’s truly not worth making again. I put a boatload of it on some toast and it was beyond lackluster. One more con? Expect to be gassy as hell if you eat this stuff.

• I tried a sample of this Tata Harper (christ that name) cleanser and it was really good. Thankfully there are cheaper, better options out there (literally anything in the tea tree line at The Body Shop), but this was great to try.

• I was getting pretty sick of the Spotify commercials in my (free) account, so I made to the movie to Apple Music to try their three month trial. We shall see how it goes. (That goddam Stone Cold Steve Austin & Ice-T commercial may have been the final straw to leave Spotify.)

• I went to Sarabeth’s for their Restaurant Week lunch menu and it was extremely good. I love blue cheese and pear together in a salad, why can’t that be as common as caesar salads? And the mussels and fries were heavenly.

• I have been in such a funk with nail polish lately, every colour seems to look disgusting. I got a short, red, gel manicure recently and had to remove it within a week, it was so repulsive to look at. What is my problem? …What’s that? You don’t care? Hahah. Honestly, same.

• I finally tried SLT (it’s one of the options when you try ClassPass for a free month trial), and what even is SLT? It’s like if spin classes + pilates classes had an obnoxious baby. And you know what? NOT FOR ME. I think I hate any pilates class that uses a machine.

• In love with the larger citrus green tea candles that just came out from Trader Joe’s. Fucking love a wooden wick.

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Citrus Green Tea candle from Trader Joe’s, February 2022

• Two new things I made for the first time this month? Risotto and scallops. It’s well known how annoying risotto is to make yourself since it’s such a long process, but I didn’t fully grasp that concept until I did it firsthand. And it wasn’t even that amazing, so that was a letdown. As for the scallops? Very fast and extremely easy.

• Had dinner at the extremely cute French place La Petit Joie in Brooklyn with Diana. Love any place that does oysters rockefeller every night of the week. Also, can more restaurants bring back BYOB? It’s so thoughtful to even offer.

• I tried out this Ulta eyeshadow palette and it came off with hand soap. The quality of makeup these days is just wild. And the prices keep going up, WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?

• Went to The Independent in midtown and their mussels and harvest salad were truly memorable. Great place to go if you’re in the area seeing a show.

• Tried the new french toast soft serve at Milk Bar and yes it was good, but not as good as their apple pie soft serve.

• I have found my new favourite hair mask: AG Hair Colour Savour Mask. I’m not sure if it’s for all blondes or just dyed blondes, but I love it. You’d think the bubblegum scent would repel me, but I find it whimsical. Of course it’s made by a Canadian company.

• There was a beautiful, pre-spring day so I took Baby Dog to Central Park and just look at this mug.

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Baby Dog in Central Park, February 2022

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Baby Dog in Central Park, February 2022

• I bought some gorgeous new address labels from Zazzle. Are you doing this? You really should. Don’t you want to be better than everyone else?

• So I went to Suprema Provisions finally and look the burger was good, but not nearly as good as the burger at Sparrow Tavern in Astoria (or even The Spaniard). Their mushroom pasta was saucy and great. And I never thought I’d say this, but I think it’s time to retire burrata from all restaurant menus. It is always the same. Always uninspired. We need to move on with ours lives, I think.

• Okay, so I bought some eucalyptus to hang from my shower head (pardon me for being DEEPLY ORIGINAL) and unlike every Pinterest pin that encourages you to do this, I fully recommend NOT EVEN BOTHERING. It’s pointless. There is no smell. There is no point. And I think it might attract moths (!), but that last point is unconfirmed. Instead, if you’re really obsessed with this idea, just buy a can of this eucalyptus shower mist. You spray it into the hot water and it does actually make it seem like a steam room for the length of your shower.

• Went to Van Dam diner in Queens with Irene and it’s like you fell into 1983, loved it.

• Truly sorry for telling you about this, but if I had to hear about it so do you: lip blushing. One more reason that this world hates women. If I had any real money, I’d buy up as much ad space as I could and just have signs that tell women, “Hey you! You’re good! You don’t need to buy anything to be better! Relax!”

• And speaking of buying things to make you feel better, I just bought these strappy black heels and they feel so lovely & I can’t wait to destroy anyone in my path the first time I wear them.

• I also bought these Steven Madden heels online and does that man hate women? Or just their feet? The most uncomfortable shoes I’ve ever owned. Returning as soon as possible.

• I was in Harlem so I went to Oso for their happy hour (good guacamole, I want to go back mainly to try the cake place next door) and then to Lido for their happy hour, which was fantastic. I love when a happy hour menu gives a fuck. Definitely want to go back to Lido for a meal.

• What I watched this month:

  • Tried rewatching The Mindy Project and while the first few seasons are pretty good (Morgan is the best character by far), I just couldn’t get into the entire series again for some reason. I think I stopped around the episode where she talks about how she doesn’t like men seeing her naked ever. Some things are just better as a memory, I guess.

  • I’m rewatching old Sex and the City episodes to get the AJLT taste out of my mouth and they’re all pretty hit or miss. Samantha is so much funnier than I remember, which was been great. Also, you know when Carrie is with Aiden and he has his dog Pete with him - did you ever notice that this dog is NEVER excited to see Carrie when she enters a scene? I get that it’s not real life and he’s just a dog on a set, but it made me laugh so much that this dog just does not fucking care about her. Pete was right all along. Also, for all the credit that this show gets for the outfits, good god are there a lot of terrible wardrobe decisions. But I guess that’s part of the good thing about it maybe? Like not everything has to be your taste or even look good - it’s more important to be fun and confident and have these characters wear what they think looks good? What side am I even on?? Do I hate the show or not?? Look, even I don’t know.

  • The John Mulaney SNL: Why did I watch this one specifically? Who knows. I don’t think I even like him, but it was a really good episode. Makes zero sense, but I was dying at the monkey sketch.

  • The Worst Person In The World: I liked it! Not as much as I thought I would given how highly praised it is, but it was nice to be in a theatre. (And that chocolate peanut butter pie slice at The Angelika? Oof. Always worth it.)

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Chocolate peanut butter pie at The Angelika, NYC

• I made this sesame garlic chili oil noodle dish that suhuuuuuucked. I think I need a moment away from Half Baked Harvest. So many misses lately.

• Recipes I want to make this month:

  • Tuscan Kale Salad with Gorgonzola Croutons - I always forget how much I love blue cheese.

  • Truffled Garlic Bread with Ricotta - okay, this looks maddeningly incredible. I could either make this myself OR I could visit any North Italia restaurant where they have it on the menu… which is just a two hour drive from me to the Pennsylvania location… mental note…

  • Hummingbird Cake Scones with Mascarpone Glaze!! Christ!!

  • Prosciutto, Peas & Orzo - my love affair with orzo has not ended.

  • Banana Sheet Cake with Walnut Streusel and Rum Glaze - can sheet cake come back in style already? Fuck.

  • Grilled Asparagus Caesar Salad - love new ways to ingest caesar dressing.

  • Lemon Almond Pudding Cake - pudding CAKE? This must be the future.

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I won a lottery ticket to see Harry Potter on Broadway this coming week, obviously I want to find and drink the space Coke, I really want to try the happy hour at Bistro Les Amis (the poutine looks Canadian), the second season of Stanley Tucci’s Searching For Italy starts on March 13th, my best friend Harmeet is coming for a visit (!), I found a place in NYC serving Steak Diane (!!!) so that’ll likely be my birthday meal, I got a ticket for opening night of the Broadway play Birthday Candles with Debra Messing on the 18th, and I will most certainly go get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. (And I mean… should I drive two hours purely for some amazing garlic bread? I’m thinking I should? That sort of tracks with who I am as a person? Also it’s my birthday soon? And the world is slowly but surely burning? And garlic bread might solve everything? And by “might” I mean “definitely will”?)

If you have any interest in reading what went on in January, come on over here.

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September Shenanigans 2020

The leaves are starting to fall, the colder winds are coming, the pumpkins are starting to appear and I’ve never wanted an October more than I do right now. This time of year stirs up so much inside of me, I can barely breathe. However you enjoy this season, I hope you take some time to bask in these autumn days that are typically so fleeting. Here’s what went down last month.

• I recapped what happened off of my summer list.

• I made an autumn list of things that I’d like to do this season.

• I cannot stop playing this John Legend song on repeat. Especially in recent days.

• Some other songs I have on repeat: Never Let Me Go by Alok & Bruno Martini & Zeeba, Savage Love by Jawsh 685 & Jason Derulo and that old Sarah McLachlan song Ice Cream for some reason.

• Absolutely in love with the limited edition apple pie flavoured Kit Kats. Unreal.

• I made these pumpkin pie overnight oats and they were a big hit. Great autumn breakfast idea.

• I ate at Buvette and their snails were definitely the highlight.

• I saw the movie The Car and it was phenomenal. You have to see it. The dialogue is atrocious, but a young, smokeshow James Brolin? Christ, he can get it. It’s a perfect bad movie.

• I went to Gramercy Tavern and of course that place never disappoints. The service, the food, everything is impeccable. Some photos below.

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Of course they have their own sanitizer

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The Harvest Daiquiri with Frozen El Dorado 8 yr Rum, Green Chartreuse, Caradonna Farms Apple Cider, Lime

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Chilled Corn Soup with Pickled Cauliflower, Beets, Avocado

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Campanelle Bolognese with Kale, Basil, Pecorino

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Tavern Bacon & Cheddar Burger with Smoked Onion Sauce, Duck Fat Potato Chips

• Something new: did you know that Sephora has in-store rewards available that are different from the rewards shown on their website? Something to check out near the front cashier the next time you’re in a Sephora.

• New favourite potato chips: Torres Selecta Black Truffle.

• I bought the Mario Badescu Drying Lotion again because it’s such a great product for calming down acne and one bottle lasts at least six months or so.

• A great piece about the arts scene in New York City right now.

• I rarely listen to podcasts, but I listened to the Conan O’Brien episode of the Michelle Obama podcast and it was great. The episode is about marriage and I liked it so much because I love hearing about how couples first met and fell for one another.

• With SNL returning this weekend, I rewatched one of my favourite sketches in recent memory.

• As with every other person on earth this month, I watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix and then immediately deleted all the games off of my phone. I know the whole message was to delete Instagram and Facebook, but I’ve never had Facebook on my phone (what am I, 90?) and I truly don’t go on Instagram that much (not by choice, I have a shite battery that lasts about eight minutes a day).

• This girl helping senior dogs is an absolute angel on earth.

• Fighting ever urge in my body to immediately buy this emerald beauty.

• I started watching Girlfriends and even though the pilot is rooooough (as most pilots are), it’s an all right show. It’s insane that Sex And The City basically stole this entire premise. I did, however, stop watching because all of the women are so wildly tiny, it warps my brain to sit and stare at skinny women for long periods of time.

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• I bought this scalp massager and holy hell, it’s incredible. It elevates a shower times a thousand.

• I tried a sample of Fab Pharma’s Rescue Mask and it’s pretty great. It’s weird to not wash a mask off yes, but your skin feels amazing in the morning after use.

• My friend Dusty had his movie reviewed by Roger Ebert’s website which is so huge and amazing. Wildly proud.

• I started watching Sister, Sister on Netflix and Lisa is the greatest character of all time.

• The new autumn candle at Trader Joe’s? Honeycrisp Apple! Already bought! Already sold out! Will I light it or just keep it to smell every so often? None of your business.

• Another great New Yorker cover.

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• I was fortunate enough to eat at Atoboy (thank you Katie & Greg!) and it was perfection. I’ve never eaten tuna so heavenly. Such a wonderful meal and the service especially was warm as hell.

• A roasted oyster cheat sheet for NYC, if you should find yourself in need.

• A great piece talking about how people make up voices for their dogs.

• I rewatched Grease and I can’t believe how often I forget how good the music is in that movie. Every song smashes.

• One of my favourite restaurants in Astoria, Mars, opened for lunch recently, very grateful.

• REVELATION: Not drinking before bed gives you a crazy, deep, restful sleep. How on earth did I not remember this?

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• I finally bought those Aerie bike shorts I’ve wanted for months and they’re incredible. Bike shorts should always be this damn soft.

• Finally ate at Arte Cafe on the Upper West Side and loved it.

• I visited the Krispy Kreme flagship in Times Square and it was pretty great. Most locations in every suburban city have glass windows where you see the donuts being made, so I didn’t get the huge appeal?

• I may or may not have indulged in some of the seasonal desserts at Comfortland in Astoria, I won’t tell you details because they weren’t anything amazing. Honestly, nothing compares to the apple fritters at San Remo’s in Etobicoke.

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• I watched the Surviving R. Kelly sequel on Netflix and it didn’t really have any new information, which makes sense because there hasn’t even been a trial yet.

• I also watched all of season one and some of season two of Twin Peaks (for the first time) and I have some thoughts. First things first, the pilot is incredible. But… why is the background/theme music so terrible? It never matches any of the scenes in tone and it just leaves me confused most times. Some parts are so fucking off and bad (acting-wise, script-wise) that I literally googled certain scenes to see if they were supposed to be funny or if I was missing something. What the fuck is with all of the dancing? And THIS scene? What in the good holy fuck?? UGH, and then David Lynch SHOWS UP IN THE SHOW? Kill me. The entire series should’ve lasted one season. I can officially say that I don’t give one shit about who the fuck killed Laura Palmer, she’s the luckiest character of them all to be dead. Blow me, Lynch.

• Hot tip: wine bottle as a ravioli maker!

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• Neve Campbell is definitely onboard for the next Scream!

• Best tweets of the month ahead.

Me trying to watch a movie on 123 Movies : https://t.co/uwiPq16F5L

— Ollie (Olluwa) ⭕️ 🇳🇬 (@OllieOFB) August 31, 2020

The planet is straight up trolling us at this point. https://t.co/wAxiSrz72o

— Lindsay Theisen (@lindsaytheis) August 31, 2020

Godzilla being granted Japanese citizenship pic.twitter.com/HVmLuTAV6y

— N-MaTOP (@Htop_Gunder) August 31, 2020

*me slumping over after brief, terrible sex* "that's what it would be like with the other guys" https://t.co/GJDykfcdBS

— Sam Adler-Bell (@SamAdlerBell) September 1, 2020

physically / emotionally cannot stop buying scented candles

— Amy Miller (@amymiller) September 2, 2020

when you are definitely NOT mad because people aren’t giving you enough attention pic.twitter.com/atl680cJoZ

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) September 2, 2020

disordered eating is so normalized that i truly believe the vast majority of people with eating disorders don't even know they have them

— rayne fisher-quann (@raynefq) September 2, 2020

Whatever happened to “Tahiti Treat”?

— Gerry Dee (@gerrydee) September 3, 2020

I think we need to start paying attention to the signs that we should stop making Batman movies good night

— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) September 4, 2020

Someone really let his son do this to me. https://t.co/VlTp5pJyqc

— Rudy Gobert (@rudygobert27) September 4, 2020

This the best thing on the internet this week pic.twitter.com/rWrIykpURs

— The Only Justice is Breonna Still Being Here (@hfdavis) September 4, 2020

Not sure who needs this right now, but you are wonderful and you are loved and you are the only you in this entire world and whatnot.

— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) September 5, 2020

us: we’re starving and can’t pay our rent

celebrities: vote ❤️

— greta gerNIG (@NILES100) September 4, 2020

Things always seem terrible around here, but yesterday my daughter saw her first waterfall and I got to watch her face. pic.twitter.com/Yn9MAd9hG2

— Lisa Fleisher (@lisafleisher) September 4, 2020

childhood was so weird. I used to be happy? to wake up at five am on a Saturday?? to watch one episode of Sailor Moon???

— i bless the rains down in castamere (@Chinchillazllla) September 5, 2020

It’s the confidence in every single answer for me😂😭😭 pic.twitter.com/u8cNaXLnsO

— the sun’s daughter🌞 (@ephrata) September 5, 2020

When Jhene said ‘I used to think I was introverted because I really liked being alone but it turns out that I just like my peace, and I am very extroverted around people who bring me peace.’ I FELT THAT IN MY CHEST.

— JOJO 🦋 (@jojoansett) September 6, 2020

entirely blonde families have dark energy

— chesse (@_jorts_) September 7, 2020

if i were shania twain, i would tweet “let’s go girls” every single morning for the rest of my life

— Liz Maupin (@LizMaupin) September 7, 2020

Turns out people who took videos at concerts on their phones were RIGHT this whole time.

— Brandie Posey (@Brandazzle) September 8, 2020

olive oil and balsamic vinegar...... the strength of that collaboration........

— charlie (@chunkbardey) September 8, 2020

its michael cera pic.twitter.com/LcI4Y86E0D

— diamond bean (@sh_wnee) September 8, 2020

Anyway this woman who re-enacts SATC scenes with her cat as Samantha is my only joy pic.twitter.com/vEovoLlpxC

— Alanna Bennett (@AlannaBennett) September 9, 2020

Once I waited on Yoko Ono and she tipped me 100%. Thank you queen you are a class act who gives a shit about the fucking Beatles

— Mike Recine (@mikerecine) September 9, 2020

hey look it's the filter we use for movies in mexico and india to make them look polluted and dangerous https://t.co/MLBoJdCuHu

— andrew wang (@andrwwang) September 9, 2020

"Rent is $1150, that does not include hydro, garbage is on Thursdays and here's a key"

- me giving my apartment to a centipede that landed on my bed

— alan “call 1-800-267-2001, ALARM FORCE” lewis (@TheAlanShane) September 11, 2020

do gen z know we used to upload 90 photos to a facebook album after every single night out? they’d be so mortified for us.

— 🎄dam (@adambyrne_) September 10, 2020

The pope wears that big hat cause Jesus is under there controlling him Ratatouille style

— Garf,,,the halloteen (@garfpoop) September 10, 2020

keep getting pissed at myself for letting such a small thing as national apocalypse get in the way of my productivity

— drewtoothpaste (@drewtoothpaste) September 10, 2020

Timothee Chalamet looks like if Montreal was a person.

— Millenial Falcon (@Sergetacular) September 11, 2020

Ok I’m stoned but this seems like a good idea: what if there was an app that both you and your partner have where you both swipe right or left on movies that are on your streaming services and when you find a match it lets you know

— c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin) September 11, 2020

I’d like to nominate cardboard humans watching baseball in a dystopian hell scape for photo of the year, thanks. pic.twitter.com/DeQmFjuM45

— 🇨🇦 Marshall Ferguson 🏈 (@TSN_Marsh) September 10, 2020

It is so crazy that a Trump rally literally killed Herman Caine and it was a news story for like 14 hours.

— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) September 11, 2020

i sit with my daughter while she falls asleep and i always whisper “i love you” in her ear as soon as she falls asleep& she says “i love you too” well tonight we had a little argument before she fell asleep i still whispered “i love you” & all she whispered back was “good” LMFAO

— CeciATL (@CeciATL) September 10, 2020

Just looked outside my window here in California wtf pic.twitter.com/VAdsdbjbyr

— D’laney (@brennanmdg) September 9, 2020

It should count for 4 if you swish it. There I said it.

— C.J. “Lakers Fan Since I Was A Baby” Toledano (@CJToledano) September 12, 2020

i like how nick nurse looks like a kid who is in the middle of a realistic dream where he woke up coaching a major league basketball team and is like "oh god, ok, im gonna try!"

— raina douris (@RahRahRaina) September 12, 2020

Come vibe with me pic.twitter.com/kZJNlwnoOO

— mufasa (@mufasatweetss) September 11, 2020

my girlfriend regularly tells me “if free public libraries didn’t already exist and someone tried to invent them, they would be condemned as a socialist plot” and I think about that a lot.

— The Library Owl 🌻🧙‍♀️🦉 (@SketchesbyBoze) September 11, 2020

i hate that weight gain is seen as ‘not looking after yourself’ when for a lot of people it’s a sign that we are enjoying food, maybe seeing our friends more, maybe going out more, maybe just letting go of societal standards for a bit! weight gain can be from happy changes too

— poppy (@_tattooedtears) September 11, 2020

I love how every airline is like “not to brag, but we actually clean the planes now.”

— Alexis Gay (@yayalexisgay) September 8, 2020

Capitalism is a disease. https://t.co/ixa5vXVpUS

— shar jossell (@SharSaysSo) September 11, 2020

I barked with laughter. pic.twitter.com/Dddl7dkxIY

— Ani Bundel Crossing (@anibundel) September 11, 2020

“overdressed” is a social construct created by hating hoes

— chideraogemezu. (@jcchib) September 11, 2020

men will tell you everything but what they’re feeling

— Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2020

Dave Grohl goes above and beyond to make 2020 a little more tolerable. Man, this is just heartwarming as fuck! There goes my hero indeed. I wanna be Dave when I grow up. https://t.co/QCsuM0MHp8

— KevinSmith (@ThatKevinSmith) September 14, 2020

does anyone else constantly think about how Jessica Simpson was body shamed in 2009 for being a size 4? and how fatphobic our society has to be to think that even this very small body was unacceptable and worthy of global bullying? because whew I really really do. pic.twitter.com/mSj7GVyzgF

— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) September 14, 2020

Diving catch through smoke while wearing a face mask, what a demented universe we're all trying to bend into some semblance of normalcy https://t.co/cNKrXiPkdg

— Jon Tayler, Smiling Politely (@JATayler) September 14, 2020

I’m not “marriage material” I’m not “relationship material” I’m “crush material” which is a lot like the material they make cheap sweatpants out of.

— MattBachus (@Mattbachus) September 15, 2020

i will never scuba dive. what fish do down there is none of my business.

— b (@doyalikebaileys) September 14, 2020

I'll never forgive white people for making Joe Rogan anything more than that dude that use to host Fear Factor

— Jacquis (@jacquisneal) September 14, 2020

Y'all ever think about how indigenous people successfully lived in the Americas for 15,000 years then Europeans came here and 500 years later the whole nation is experiencing apocalyptic climate disaster.

— Not Brian (@LfeofCnsequence) September 15, 2020

it’s actually wild that there’s a lottery for affordable housing, like a basic necessity is being treated like a tour of willy wonka’s factory lmao

— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) September 15, 2020

I know it’s rough now, but I really think some day we’ll be able to look back at all this and say, “That’s not a time I like to think about”

— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) September 16, 2020

“The Clippers winning a ring!” pic.twitter.com/RUD8pHQNZf

— Josiah Johnson (@KingJosiah54) September 16, 2020

when i’m at dinner with people and they start talking about something that isn’t one of the three things i know about pic.twitter.com/QWfLS1wadm

— Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano) September 16, 2020

my baby got his hearing aids today. look at his face 🥺😭 pic.twitter.com/IwwdsQVrSN

— finessa hudgins (@lil_lopeep) September 16, 2020

sometimes i remember that if a clown wants to trademark their makeup they have to paint it on an egg that is stored in a special clown egg warehouse and then i have to go lie down pic.twitter.com/5ltP6aQzL5

— jo murderous 🔪🔪🔪 (@jo_hauge) September 16, 2020

Just a reminder that Joe Biden’s dog is the Joe Biden of dogs. pic.twitter.com/8BQBO8HDA3

— Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) September 16, 2020

Car commercials are really out here acting like the reason I don’t own a car is because I can’t make up my mind.

— MattBachus (@Mattbachus) September 17, 2020

stop asking “is everything okay?” start asking “is anything okay?”

— rosemary “reply gay” donahue (@rosadona) September 17, 2020

Can you imagine remembering the news from two days ago

— Dina Hashem (@dinahashem_) September 18, 2020

This is genuinely funny https://t.co/zsLftnifWT

— Erin GrudgePAC Ryan (@morninggloria) September 20, 2020

I still can't believe that the trick to defeating journalism was to just be so openly evil that reporting on it accurately sounds partisan.

— Johnny "The Crypt Renter" McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) September 19, 2020

who decided that eyes and teeth r not part of healthcare lmao

— ani (@aniacopian) September 19, 2020

tie ladies to train tracks in silent movies https://t.co/PABkniIyqw

— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) September 20, 2020

when you lose the emmy pic.twitter.com/ECkbGcoHBA

— ramy youssef (@ramy) September 21, 2020

pic.twitter.com/xcWSsvyxCV

— Sam Buzz (@SamBuzz9) March 23, 2020

Holding my nose and hoping for the best 🤞🏼 https://t.co/SDVjagEJ8c

— Ben O'Callaghan (@benocallaghan) September 23, 2020

was explaining “if you snooze you lose” to french husband and he said “so basically it’s if you are sleeping, fuck you”

— rachel de navailles (@racheldenav) September 24, 2020

20 years ago today Vince Carter dunked over an entire human being. Here’s a quick recap...pic.twitter.com/mCkZADeBmC

— Mike Camerlengo (@MCamerlengo) September 25, 2020

Me heading for the border on November 5th pic.twitter.com/5idgX2XVmu

— Ben Yahr (@benyahr) September 26, 2020

Why get a dog if you’re just gonna pull on it every time it stops to smell something? That’s what they do. Why not take a fish out the tank and throw it on the floor

— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) September 26, 2020

Overturning roe will not end abortion in America.

It will end *safe* abortion.

This is violence against women, simple as that.

— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) September 26, 2020

Why don’t conservatives ever want to interfere with my body in a HELPFUL way? Fix this little bump on my leg! Exfoliate my elbows! Stretch my quads! Bitch, FLOSS ME.

— Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) September 27, 2020

This is a reminder that the IRS audits way more people who make under $30,000 per year than they do millionaires because the GOP repeatedly stripped their funding and the poor don't have the resources to fight the IRS, while the rich have lawyers to fight them at every turn

— Ryan Rosenblatt (@RyanRosenblatt) September 27, 2020

once u start shoplifting there is no going back it literally rewires your neural pathways and thought patterns like I now get physically mad whenever I have to pay for something

— ☆ (@SAlGONDOLL) September 27, 2020

landlords be like “do you have a stable job” bro do you???

— Hopi💜 (@Hopihokte) September 27, 2020

Imagine you get murdered and some girl skips your episode of forensic files bc it’s boring

— itty 🥺 (@ittybittywhore) September 24, 2020

pic.twitter.com/2qOQwbZpdw

— ‏َ (@DIGIG00N) September 26, 2020

I wish anti-maskers weren’t a thing so us regular people could complain about masks being annoying without looking like a Q Anon dipshit who refuses to wear one. I just wanna be able to say “this sucks” without having to follow it up with “BUT I WILL BECAUSE IT’S MY CIVIC DUTY”

— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) September 29, 2020

Trump: we’ve had no problems with Covid at rallies

The ghost of Herman Cain: pic.twitter.com/uMCno7hmwz

— Robin Thede (@robinthede) September 30, 2020

pic.twitter.com/a4yomieMva

— Michael Tannenbaum (@iamTannenbaum) September 30, 2020

American Presidential Debates be like " Do Black people matter? you have two minutes."

— 𝕽✘𝖇𝖇i (@R0BB1_3) September 30, 2020

how do pornstars make porn without saying i love you each time??

— 🎶 this is Palloween 🎃 (@PallaviGunalan) September 30, 2020

me and the girls heading to michaels for a festive halloween wreath pic.twitter.com/sYF5ouWOcu

— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) September 30, 2020

Mama Bear: The porridge is ready

Papa Bear: Perfect let’s leave for a couple of hours

— sad-a-saurus (@sad_saurus) September 30, 2020

Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: I must decorate, I really want to make this fall kale salad that sounds incredible, I’m planning a visit to Sleepy Hollow for the day, if I can find the time I really want to try these vegan burgers, I need to finalize the details for my costume this year, MUST BUY these winter stamps, I cannot wait to get my hands on these again, I’m intending on doing my 31-days-of-Halloween celebration yet again (which means that I’ll try to do at least one spookily themed thing each day), and I will definitely be watching some of these 90s sitcoms Halloween episodes. Also, I’m not a huge cronut fan but these flavours (below)?! Get out of here. Already pre-ordered.

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Heading into October in a few days, and our Cronut® of the month for NYC is Hazelnut Cappuccino, filled with creamy hazelnut ganache and cappuccino ganache. Starts October 1st in Soho (preorders are up now at NYC.CronutPreorder.com).

A post shared by dominiqueansel (@dominiqueansel) on Sep 23, 2020 at 7:19am PDT

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in August over here.

Le Train Bleu

There's a restaurant hidden in Bloomingdale's (on the sixth floor, to be exact) and it RESEMBLES AN OLD-FASHIONED TRAIN CAR! 

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There's even an overhead compartment for your purse! Is it just me or is this place adorable? I'm a little shocked that I've lived in New York for as long as I have without knowing about it. 

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Harmeet & the menu

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Outside the washroom

To be quite honest, the food was just okay. But honestly, the fact that it wasn't terrible is the reason that I'd want to come back here. Does that make sense? The really great part about the whole place is, obviously, the surroundings. I was also struck by how quiet it was - in a good way. It's kind of nice to know that this little tucked away spot is still a bit of a secret in this city. Definitely the kind of restaurant I'd want to take my parents to if they came to visit me. The next time you're near Bloomingdale's, you should definitely check it out. 

*UPDATE: it closed in 2018! Noooooo!

The Smith in NYC

This is my favourite restaurant in New York. They've got three locations. You should probably go to one the next time you're in town.

I used to say that their filet mignon was my favourite thing on their menu (especially if you special order the truffle cream sauce listed amongst the pasta as a dipping sauce for this steak IF YOU WANT YOUR MIND SHATTERED), but since I've somewhat moved on from my love for steak (not totally, we're just on a break), it's really hard to pick a new favourite dish here. Everything I've tried (honestly) has been incredible. 

The best?

• Short ribs (they only make them on Tuesdays) are so fucking luxurious and wildly unforgettable, it's a sin to be there on a Tuesday and not order them. 
• Burrata. If you don't know what that is... yikes. It must be hard living a burrata-less life and frankly I don't want any more details of such an existence. One time, my friend Paul and I ordered three of these back to BACK (it was a hard time, I was going through stuff). If insanity had a taste, it would be of this burrata.
• Trout. Who the hell knew a fish could be this good? I didn't, and now I do. 
• Jalapeno cheddar grits are not just a side dish, they are a lifestyle choice, as far as I'm concerned. And I am, in no way, a fan of grits. These are unreal and beautiful and I force everyone to try them.
• Don't get me started on their brunch. I DON'T EVEN LIKE BRUNCH.

I've been here so many times over the past few years, it's always a good time. See the accompanying photos, all taken at this restaurant, for further proof. Notice the level of happiness and/or fullness.

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Spring 2012, Sarah in the chair downstairs outside the photo booth

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Autumn 2012

There's no excuse not to eat here. It can be noisy as hell, but goddam. Worth it.

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Summer 2013, Paul in the co-ed washroom

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Summer 2013, Nathan!

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Autumn 2013

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Summer 2014, Train!