Navigating November

by Liz Heather in , , ,

Yes, it’s insane that November is already over, but we’re all aware of that and it’s so boring to talk about time moving quickly so let’s not be boring, let’s be wicked. So much has happened this month, here’s a breakdown of what went on in my world this month:

  • The West Village restaurant Dante has forever been on my list of places to eat at, so I finally went and it was great. The pasta wasn’t as good as it is at L’Artusi, but that’s sort of an impossible demand. In any case, the food was good, the place is small & lovely, and the waiters are dreamboats.

  • I went to the movie theatre/bar/restaurant Syndicated in Brooklyn for the first time to see Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 11/9 and both the place and the movie were great. I mean the movie’s pretty depressing, but obviously good. And the ticket was $8, which is amazing in 2018.

  • I ate at this great Mexican place Ofrenda twice so far, the quesadillas are so fucking light and good. Only con about the place is that it can get wildly loud inside.

  • I finished watching The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and it was great and dark but I wish there were more scenes with Prudence & Nick since they’re such good characters. The mortals are so boring I could scream. Looking forward to the holiday special they’re airing in a few weeks.

  • Gary came to town! So we did a lot of new things while he was visiting. The best thing? The restaurant Le Relais De Venise L’Entrecôte. They only serve steak frites. With this incredible sauce. You sit down, order drinks, then they ask how you like your meat cooked and that’s it. They also come around halfway through the meal to offer you seconds… of both the meat AND the fries. It’s insanity. Honestly, I heard the premise of this place and thought that there’s no way the quality would be great, but I was dead wrong. Every bite was incredible. The place doesn’t look like much from the outside (it’s way too bright) and the service is a little… weird? But the food was amazing. And so reasonably priced. Definitely keeping this one in the rotation.

  • Finally ate at Parm in Soho for the first time - I had the eggplant (which was okay) and Gary had the chicken which was eons better. Get the chicken. The service was notably great too.

  • Tried the ice cream at Morgenstern’s and whooooa, it’s good. They’re not fucking around here. Love their weird flavours. French fry ice cream legit tastes like French fries. Eager to try the “bread” and “popcorn” flavours. And if you’re sitting there going, “How could any ice cream be bad, Liz? C’mon!” you’ve obviously never tried the terrible Van Leeuwan.

  • Went to the Nintendo store in Times Square, discovered that it’s one cute-ass store.

  • Went to the Top of the Rock for the first time, waaaaay better view up there than from the Empire State Building. Hands down. Plus you get a Central Park view that’s gorgeous as well as a city view.

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love this trash-smelling paradise #newyorkcity

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  • Ate at Pil Pil on the Upper East Side: crazy good tapas. I always forget about tapas.

  • You already know how much I love Lady M cakes, so I tried their seasonal pumpkin nuage one and… meh! It’s nowhere as tasty as their banana chocolate slice.

  • Ate at Jacob’s Pickles on the Upper West Side finally and Jesus Christ the portion sizes here are laughably large. My brother got a poutine and maaaaaaan you gotta see this thing. And while everything tasted good, it’s just so wildly indulgent. And coming from a person who lives their life on the motto of “INDULGE, BITCH!” - this really means something. Probably not gonna make it back here a second time. It’s mayhem.

  • Finally watched Big Mouth after everyone on the planet told me to watch it and of course it’s good, you know this already, you don’t need me to tell you this. Jon Hamm as the voice of a scallop? Hilarious. Kristen Wiig as a vagina? Gimme more, I say! That goddam little ladybug? Best character. Flawless show. Maya Rudolph is my true queen and I hate anyone calling anyone their queen. (THERE’S ONE QUEEN GUYS AND SHE’S ENGLISH. SHOW SOME RESPECT.)

  • Visited the annual holiday miniature train show inside Grand Central station and it’s as beautiful as always. But really I dare you to show me a miniature train show I don’t like. It’s kind of a joke that they call this a “train show” when it’s, like, shoved in the back corner of a gift shop. Still lovely, but just funny.

  • There’s a new flavour (pumpkin gingersnap) of banana pudding at Magnolia Bakery and it AIN’T GOOD. Stick to the hits, guys. Gotta stick to the hits.

  • Went to the MoMA and it was great, haven’t been in so long, love the fact that they incorporated some performance art!

  • Had lunch at Del Frisco’s since Gary was in a wagyu mood & oh yes it was good.

  • Went for happy hour at Clinton Hall, where the prices are amazing for what you’re getting (I mean, Pat LaFrieda sliders for $3 is fucking nuts).

  • My dear friend Sarah moved back to France and I shouldn’t be shocked when anyone leaves New York, but it always stings when it’s one of the good ones.

  • Finally got my hands on the Cauliflower Gnocchi from Trader Joe’s and holy fuck I now understand why it’s ALWAYS SOLD OUT. Tastes exactly like regular gnocchi. No idea how Trader Joe’s can make these remarkable tasting products, so I’ll just assume that some sort of deal with the devil has been made.

  • If you are ever on the Upper East Side around dinnertime craving ravioli, I promise you that the Mezzelune Alla Boscaiola at Uva will eternally please you in a way that no human can. It’s a half moon shaped ravioli filled with prosciutto and mozzarella served in a creamy wild mushroom sauce. And it will forever be my favourite thing to eat in that area.

  • Don’t ask me why but I watched both Princess Diaries movies and OF COURSE THEY’RE TERRIBLE I KNEW THAT BEFORE PRESSING PLAY WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME.

  • I also watched Four Christmases and initially it seemed like it could’ve been an actually okay movie but NOPE. I mean, there are worse movies, don’t get me wrong. At the beginning, I really liked the fact that the couple in it had super strong opinions about marriage and kids and oh man, it would’ve been great if the ending was just “and we were right all along!” instead of them having a kid at the end. Am I projecting my own shit on this movie? Yes! Sue me!

  • Watched Rumor Has It and I don’t know if I was either feeling tired or defeated or what, but I think I liked it at the moment. I mean, Kevin Costner has a nice smile. All that needs to be said.

  • Tried the eyeliner from Elf Cosmetics and BOOOOOOOOOOOO, never again! What a piece of garbage!

  • Once in awhile, the Rainbow Room hosts a seasonal pop up bar on the 65th floor of 30 Rock in Rockefeller Center sooooo Nathan and I went this week and it was so, so great. The menu always changes and the dishes are wildly inventive and from what we tried - crazy delicious. We only got a charcuterie plate but there was this pâté that was almost… unholy? It was incredible. It was an insanely rainy night, so the view wasn’t much because of the clouds but that’s really only one more reason for us to return. The service was perfect and it wasn’t even that expensive.

  • For the past year or so, whenever I’m having a day where my face feels rougher than normal, I’ve been using this Vitamin E cream from The Body Shop at night that’s been working like a dream. I mostly just use it on my cheeks (moreso in the wintertime) and I wake up and have perfect skin again. It says that it’s used as a face sleep mask, but I don’t think you need to use that much, this one jar has lasted me forever since I use so little of it at a time.

  • So there’s this pesto that I’m in love with that they serve on a panini I love at Bite in the city and the owner told me why this pesto is so great: they use walnuts instead of pine nuts to make it. So obviously this is the only way that I’ll make pesto from now on. It’s so crazy good, you could eat it with a spoon if you have lunatic tendencies like I do apparently? IT’S SO GOOD.

  • Are you aware that you can recycle your used/empty makeup containers at Origins? I’m sure you’re already aware of the program that MAC does, but for every other brand? I feel like this is probably the best option. They have a little box in each store, and it’s not exactly policy but if you go in to recycle something, you can show them that you’re recycling something and then ask for a sample of something and they’ll definitely give you a crazy-generously sized portion of a product that you want to try as a sample. I just did this and got a huuuuuuge sample of this eye brightener I’ve been wanting to use. Also! They’ll give you a code after you recycle that you can use online to earn Origins points on your account.

  • Nathan was on the Guys We Fucked podcast this week which I think is pretty huge and great, so you can listen to that if you like.

And that was November! If you’ve missed any of the other months I’ve done (and actually care to hear the intricate details of a stranger’s life), here’s a list of what’s been discovered over the past few months! Hellooooooo December!

October Occurrences

September Shenanigans

August Actions

July Jiffs

June Jaunts

May Musings

July Jiffs

by Liz Heather in , , , ,

Summer is finally half over!

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One more filthy month to go before the best time of the year! Here were the highlights of July:

  • So you know how much I love the banana pudding from Magnolia already, but what you don't know is that it's probably my favourite summer dessert to make and bring to parties because people go fucking nuts for it. So for July 4th this year I made it, but I also bought some Coffee Crisp chocolate bars to Canadian it up (if you're in the U.S. then you can buy them in the international foods section at Bed Bath & Beyond), then dumped those bars into a food processor to make a COFFEE CRISP CRUMBLE TO GO ATOP THE BANANA PUDDING. And it was heaven.

  • I ate some of the best fish tacos in NYC at Tacoway Beach in Rockaway near the beach. They're crazy simple but so good, I try to get them once a year so I never grow sick of them. Tip: definitely skip the black bean tacos AND the elote because they are both wildly unpleasing.

  • I made this Sweet Potato Gnocchi in Spinach Cream Sauce but full disclosure: I bought the sweet potato gnocchi already put together at Trader Joe's, and then just made the sauce from the recipe and it still tasted amazing. There's something I'll never like about buying frozen food from Trader Joe's (I feel like I haven't completely given up on life yet?), but this gnocchi is the exception (this and their cauliflower pizza crust). Will definitely be keeping this one in the food rotation because it was delicious as hell.

  • I read two books this month and I refuse to stop saying that out loud to people, but I guess I have to move on since it's August soon, so that sucks. The Simpsons one I read was great and the Ijeoma Oluo one was even better!

  • I did start to read Steve Martin's Born Standing Up and wow was it dull. Don't get me wrong, I think Steve Martin is great. But I read about half of it before collapsing in extreme dissatisfaction. IT'S SO BORING. Why do people think that it's such a good book? Famous comedians will gleefully prattle on about how great it is to one another, which is why I wanted to read it in the first place, so this just doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I was going to just suck it up and keep going until I asked Nathan if it got any better and he very politely told me that it did not. Can someone tell me why it's supposed to be so good? It shoulda been called Bore Standing Up! Okay, that's not a good joke, I know, but it's better than WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE THIS BOOK.

  • I tried the frozen Irish coffee at Passage in Astoria finally and... it was great! Duh.

Frozen Irish Coffee at Passage in Astoria, Queens

  • I watched Hannah Gadsby's Nanette on Netflix and didn't really care for it for the first half. The only reason I kept watching was because a friend of mine echoed the same thoughts of the beginning not being good but it getting good the second half. And she was completely right because the second half was powerful as hell. My real thoughts are just a general annoyance at people who plainly say, "It isn't standup." And maybe my opinion on this matters in no way since I'm not a comedian, but it just bothers me that there's this weird line of what standup should or shouldn't be, as if the idea of anything more being said with no punchline isn't worthy enough for the untouchable standup stage. She's a comedian! She said jokes! She also had more to say, which is great. Especially with what's going on in the world right now, it seems weird to purposely not want to comment on that and focus solely on what a comedian "is supposed to do." That idea just seems strange to me.

  • Nathan and I went to a wedding and it was fun and we looked great. Proof!

  • I saw a bunch of movies.

    • Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (in theatres) - I mean, a Macarena joke made me laugh so it obviously wasn't a good movie, but some of the kids had a good time so that makes it a success.

    • Can't Buy Me Love (Netflix) - I'd never seen it and it's a terrible eighties movie so I kind of needed to all of a sudden. Also it was on a list of things leaving Netflix in August so I suddenly felt the urge to grab on tightly before letting it go off into the distance? That's normal?

    • Girls Trip (HBOGO) - I have no idea why the urge to see this movie happened inside of me. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Not good, but not horrendous.

    • Ibiza (Netflix) - I guess I've been having real moments lately where I've just been missing certain groups of friends and watching these ridiculous movies puts me at ease a bit maybe? I don't know, let's not analyze it. Oh! The music from this one was really great, though. Also, Gillian Jacobs' eyes are so ginormous, I'm always shocked that men aren't looking for a woman with huge eyes instead of a huge ass or boobs, makes no fucking sense to me. Her eyes are insane!

    • Obvious Child (Netflix) - Jenny Slate can do no wrong and of course this movie was great. Other than all the cringe-inducing standup scenes (that are supposed to be cringe-inducing, I'm assuming), it was just a nice movie. The music from this one was pretty great, too.

  • I tried the new Crispy Chicken at Swiss Chalet and it was really tasty because of course it was, anything fried is most likely amazing. It's funny to me that they're not just calling it fried chicken. Obviously it's purposeful too, like they're thinking that if they did call it fried chicken it'd sound too Americanized or something. That's definitely something they thought. "No, calling it Crispy Chicken just makes it seem healthier, like it was just slightly dunked into hot, frying oil and not, like, submerged for hours."

  • I've had an iPhone 5 for three years and the battery had gone completely to shit (ie. dying at 80%) a few weeks ago, so I took it to Mobile Klinik (outside of Wal-Mart on the first floor of Square One in Mississauga) and they replaced the battery for me within an hour and it only cost me $60 and now it's been working amazingly. They were super nice and it came with a one year warranty, so definitely keep this in mind if you're ever in need of their services.

  • The only thing I've ever eaten at Dominique Ansel Kitchen was the burrata soft serve ice cream from a few years ago, but I stopped by recently and had the cold pear yogurt and hot toasted granola and maaaaaaan why can't the version I make at home taste as good as theirs. WHY.

Cold Pear Yogurt & Hot Toasted Granola, Dominique Ansel Kitched

  • A friend told me about this great site Zaful that has gorgeous swimsuits for crazy cheap and are actually good quality. Are you even kidding me with how gorgeous those marbled ones look?!

  • Tried the soft serve at Tom's Dairy Freeze in Etobicoke finally and it was goooooood because all ice cream is good.

Tom's Dairy Freeze in Etobicoke, ON

  • I went to see the Scarborough Bluffs with Marla and some of my nieces and it's such a beautiful place. So glad we went.

Finn & Marla!

Layla, me, Maya!

  • It's Restaurant Week in New York right now (it actually lasts a few weeks), so I'm hoping to eat at some places I've always wanted to go to. So far I've only gone to Astor Court inside the St. Regis hotel, but it was so, so good. Here's what I had.

And that was July! 

I'm a little shocked that I'm still keeping up with these monthly posts, here are the ones from May & June if you'd care to read about them.

Lessons of the Week

by Liz Heather in ,

Here are some things that I learned this week:

  1. You're not supposed to ever feed your dog grapes. Seriously, don't do it. I read that here, along with many other things that are bad for dogs in general. It can cause kidney failure or make them sick. Stop doing this! I don't care how cute it is to witness!
  2. The best banana pudding in the world is in the West Village at Magnolia Bakery. (Fuck those cupcakes, go here for pudding!) Can't believe it took me this long to hear about it. Apparently everyone else already knows this. Eat it. Love it. Live it. (photo below)
  3. Cooked prosciutto IS WAY TASTIER THAN RAW PROSCIUTTO. Why in the hell are people not eating it cooked always? It's eons better! It's like a less fatty, thinner, meatier-tasting bacon. And I love it. I've always tried to coerce myself into loving it raw and why? 'Cause I guess I'm a rube. Never again. Always gonna cook it now. 
  4. Kale can actually be tasty. I've never believed this before (I'm talking years here), because, well, it's putrid and poorly cooked most of the time. But I had some of a wonderfully under-dressed kale caesar salad with bacon last night at Murray's Cheese Bar that was the definition of delightful. I should've been less shocked though since almost everything there is amazing. 

Do these seem more like recommendations and less like lessons to you? 'Cause you're wrong. You need to get on all of these things immediately.  

 

There are pieces of cake in it!

There are pieces of cake in it!