The Best Tweets of January 2024

no thoughts only raging issues https://t.co/EJNnGg2YWd pic.twitter.com/0xAlJ1W1w1

— kyle lover ⚢ (@luofuyuri) December 30, 2023

I’m a lot like Julia Roberts in My Best Friend’s Wedding (unwell, doing so much but not really accomplishing anything, lives in New York)

— JP (@jpbrammer) December 31, 2023

Dave Grohl when a band want a guest drummer pic.twitter.com/HK4V9euFlF

— Garby (@Atlantis252) January 6, 2024

Someone in the replies called this “unnecessary tenderness” and I can’t stop laughing https://t.co/6V93zP2VRX

— Jackie Daytona (@thereisnojayjay) January 7, 2024

“I actually murdered all those people in the building”
pic.twitter.com/mFD6B3xpgs

— Andy Ottaway (blue cheque) (@Andy35o) January 8, 2024

trying to participate in the front seat conversation when you’re in the back seat pic.twitter.com/w0IBZgugQM

— Patatouille (@SwampPat) January 9, 2024

Imagine your vehicle is turned over. You’re disoriented. Wondering if this is the end. You turn to your left and see Hollywood Hogan in his NWO shirt saying “gimme your hand, brother!”

What a mindfuck. https://t.co/YSuR9Ixtk7

— STEVE! (@NotDrDeath) January 15, 2024

One of these men will betray Jim https://t.co/T6jyBOK96o

— The Oshborn (@DaveOshry) January 18, 2024

You have to be a leading lady but you can’t be nominated for best actress. You have to be a strong female director but you can’t be nominated for best director. You have to have a wildly popular dance song but you can’t be nominated for best original song. pic.twitter.com/yhlpS4AdTv

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) January 23, 2024

me and my girls at the end of a night out pic.twitter.com/XtzAcGAg78

— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) January 23, 2024

So anyway, put the cheddar bay biscuit mix in the waffle iron pic.twitter.com/RrbUJTqHDb

— wiz fajita (@trillary_banks_) January 26, 2024

me going tell my friend I did exactly what she told me not to do pic.twitter.com/e8yLk5IdhG

— ✟ (@ihyric) January 30, 2024

The best tweets of December can be found over here.

Person To Follow - Kelly Oxford

If you're on Twitter and you're not following Kelly Oxford already, who the hell are you following? She IS Twitter, as far as I'm concerned. 

Donald Trump running for president feels very Naked Gun.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 16, 2015

Tonight, my 6yr old was so annoyed with me she said she was "gonna OJ Simpson" me. ❤️

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 31, 2015

Questioning things when you're happy is like taking a shit after a shower.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 22, 2015

Love when the rich inadvertently insult people with jobs. RT @THR Ray Romano Reveals Why He'd Be an Uber Driver Without David Letterman.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 18, 2015

If you don't sing, "MAD MEN MAD MEN MAD MEN MAD MEN MAD MEN MAD MEN...” to the strings in the Mad Men theme song, I can't love you.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 6, 2015

And considering how great her first book was, I cannot wait for the second one she's working on at the moment.